evil chef mom

holiday treats

2011-12-05T14:38:00.000-08:00

Are you looking for baking ideas for the holidays? Because with all the chaos going on around here, I finally just realized that, 'Oh crap! It's 20 days until Christmas. Nine more school days before the kids go on Winter Break and I haven't even thought about baking ANYTHING.'

So to get in the baking mood, I have made a handy roundup of treats and assorted baked goods that I have made over the years on ECM. And I mean I have made over and over.... so I consider them tried and true. Treats that I haven't seen anyone ever turn their noses up at and if someone baked these and showed up on my doorstep, I would welcome them with open arms and a cocktail or hot chocolate.

In no particular order:

Homemade Vanilla Extract. Yes, I am aware it's not a treat per se but if you know someone who bakes all the time, they will love this. It makes a wonderful and memorable hostess gift. Vanilla extract never goes bad and once you give them a foundation they can keep adding to it, customizing the flavor to their own individual taste. It's probably one of the most impressive gifts I give. People routinely tell me they didn't even know you could make vanilla extract. You get to look like a genius. Also, make a bottle for yourself.

cranberry streusel shortbread bars

My favorite.

Gift Idea: Take three and tie with festive ribbon and place in a cellophane bag.

anzac cookies

Great cookies that last if you want to ship overseas!

chocolate chubbies

Chocolate Nirvana!

Gift Idea: A warning sticker. Seriously, if you have a chocolate lover wrap them up and place a warning sticker on these bad boys.

triple ginger cookies

Super gingery happiness.

chocolate thumbprint cookies

You got chocolate in my cookie. No, you got peanut butter in my cookie.

buttery shortbread

Great for decorating but also great plain. My go-to cookie.

caramel, coconut, chocolate chip, and bacon magic bars

You read that right. Make them for the bacon lover, they will love you forever. Also you might want to make sure they have a prescription for Lipitor before eating.

Gift Idea: If you can find a empty box of Lipitor wrap them up in that or if you can find a cute piggy platter or bowl that would work too.

chewy oatmeal cookies

Changed the way I look and make oatmeal cookies.

cream cheese pound cake

Perfection and simplicity in every slice. This, wrapped up in a fancy dish towel with a wooden spoon and recipe cards would be a nice teacher gift.

apple upside down cake with caramel sauce

Mmmmm.

doughnut muffins

I crave these on a weekly basis. It is a cake doughnut in a muffin.

Gift Idea: Wrap these little muffins up in a lined basket with 2 mugs and a bag of coffee or tin of hot chocolate would be lovely. Especially if given on Christmas Eve.

tiramisu

The next door neighbors wouldn't be mad if you brought this to them. Especially when you have to tell them you are going to need to jackhammer a 3 foot x 3 foot section of their driveway to fix your sewer line.

dark chocolate swirl pound cake

Nor would they be mad if you brought this over to them either. Also, you can swap out the dark chocolate and replace with Nutella.

chocolate tart with pretzel crust

Sweet and salty lovers will rejoice.

lemon curd

Gift Idea: Fill Mason Jars with lemon curd wrapped with pretty ribbon. Place in a pretty basket with scones, tea, a tea pot and/or a pretty tea cup found at second hand store or discount store (Homegoods).

brownies with caramel sauce

Good Lord. Hallelujah.

Gift Idea: Make a platter of these with a bowl of caramel sauce in the center and a note to have a sweet 2012!

banana crunch bread

Best banana bread I have ever made.

Gift Idea: Wrap this up with a note to your kids teacher. "I know my kids have driven you BANANAS in the classrom at least once this year. Happy Holidays!'

coffee toffee pecan pie

banana streusel muffins

Gift Idea: Place these in a pink bakery box tied in yarn with a message that breakfast is on you!

fennel gratin

2011-11-22T08:56:00.000-08:00

Admittedly, this is not a Thanksgiving dish. I know Thanksgiving is only two days away but I just had to share this dish. NOW. If someone made this for me on Thanksgiving I would happily sit in a corner with a whole platter of fennel gratin, forgo everything else at the dinner table and be perfectly happy.

I know this isn't for everyone so I won't tell you to make it now or I will cause you bodily harm because fennel is one of those ingredients that is up there with cilantro and mushrooms. There are lovers and loathers and they declare which side they stand on, very loud and clear. Think about it. People exclaim 'I LOVE' or 'I HATE'.... but no one is that says 'Meh, I can take it or leave it.'

If you love fennel this dish is just ... sigh... beautiful. I was going to say it's almost like roasted/poached in olive oil but then I realized that would make it confit. So yes, it's almost like fennel confit. [Go Krysta! Way to use my words!!!!] Salty, sweet, a little spicy, crunchy, soft, and even a little bitter all in one bite. Make sure to save the oil that the fennel was cooked in because it is wonderful dipping oil for bread.

fennel gratin: rustic italian food by marc verti
printable recipe

makes 4 to 6 servings

2 fennel bulbs, about 2 pounds, fronds trimmed and reserved
about 2 1/2 cups of olive oil
salt and freshly ground pepper
1 1/4 teaspoons red pepper flakes
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Trim the base of the fennel and remove all dark and light green parts down to the white bulb. Slice each bulb in half, lengthwise. Cut each half lengthwise into four wedges and remove cores. Lay wedges on rimmed baking sheet and add olive oil to a depth of 1/4 inch. Sprinkle each wedge with a pinch of salt, black pepper, and red pepper flakes and a teaspoon of Parmesan cheese.

Bake until fork tender, about 30 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool in the oil until just warm. Using a slotted spatula, transfer to serving platter and garnish with the reserved fennel fronds.

thanksgiving appetizer ideas

2011-11-19T10:18:00.000-08:00

If you are looking for some different ideas for appetizers this Thanksgiving, look no further.

spicy dill popcorn. Addictive.

cheese fritters with balsamic sundried tomato dipping sauce. You'll make a lot of people happy if you make these.

bacon wrapped dates. Crack bombs.

caramelized onion tart. Elegant and easy

my favorite: warm sweet onion dip.

bacon jam spread on warm bread would be nice. wink, wink.

Also, this just made me realize how many appetizer posts I do not have on ecm and our family is famous for appetizers at big meals. I must fix this immediately.

apple crisp

2011-11-13T20:14:00.000-08:00

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction....

Good ol’ Issac Newton. I secretly think he must have been a wunderkind Buddhist/Karmic metaphysical philosopher of the 17th century. I think that dude was on to something.

Lately, every morning before I get out of bed I take a second before my feet hit the ground and wonder what is going to happen today. There has been that much action/opposite reaction going on in my life. ~~Hiding~~ Nesting under a big fluffy down comforter sounds like a really great idea.... until you need to use the restroom, ugh...then you have to get up.

The days have gone a little like this:

Grab a cart and help the lady with 3 kids at the grocery store/come home and find my bathroom flooded. Give a homeless person a dollar/get a mortgage bill in the mail that isn’t correct then spend 30 minutes in ‘you will speak to a customer service representative in 3 minutes’ phone queue hell. Let someone in my lane of traffic/sewer pipe broken.

Try to be nice and it comes back to you tenfold?

Karma's a bitch only if you are?

Someone is lying.

But then again, if the action/opposite reaction theory is true, it means if I start being mean and stop trying to be nice, good things will happen to me, right?

Sigh, my whole argument falls apart. Actually, I don't have the energy to follow through with this line of reasoning.

Anyways, it's been a tough week.

This helped. A. Lot.

Soft warm apple crisp... with two secret ingredients. Apple butter in in the filling to really amp up the cinnamon and apple taste. It's like going from mono to stereo. Also, a dash ground cloves in the topping. When you bite into the crisp, you will taste this faint and elusive slight heat that will keep people wondering what it is in this crisp that is so different from the others that they have tasted.

apple crisp:
(printable recipe)

apple filling:

4 cups peeled and sliced granny smith apples
1 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons apple butter, optional
1 tablespoon of flour
1/4 teaspoon of salt
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

topping:

1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 cup butter, melted
3/4 cup oatmeal
3/4 cup flour
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
dash of ground cloves

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter (or use cooking spray) a 8x8 square pan. Mix all apple filling ingredients in a bowl. Place filling in the baking pan.

Mix all topping ingredients together and top the apple filling. You might need to use your hands to press the topping down a little bit.

Bake for 30-40 minutes until the filling is bubbling and the topping is golden brown. Best if served the day before and warmed. Also this recipe can be easily doubled.

big kitchen delonghi immersion blender giveaway winner

2011-11-04T21:17:00.000-07:00

[walking across the golden gate bridge 9/2011]

The winner of an awesome DeLonghi Immersion Blender is comment #36.

Jeanna said...

Made this for dinner tonight. Subbed out some cheddar for pepper jack and added a few shakes of Chipotle Tobasco and served with homemade pretzel rolls. Super Yummy! But I did make a huge mess filling my blender too full and turning it on. That immersion blender would have been handy!

Jeanna please email me at krysta[@]evilchefmom.com with all of your mailing info.

I just wanted to give a big shout out to Big Kitchen,com for sponsoring this giveaway.

salted caramel pie

2011-11-02T11:28:00.000-07:00

Random thoughts for a Wednesday morning:

In a world gone mad... you must choose between pie or cake.

I am oddly nonpartisan about the whole thing. I like both. A LOT. I cannot choose, I refuse to choose. I will bring both sides together to live in peace and harmony.

I also know both can be done badly. Dry cake, frosting that is more like spackling paste, tough crusts...

Actually I want 'tough crusts' to be a new euphemism/curse word/genuine curse... Tough Crusts. In the baking world that would be scandalizing! Like dropping the f-bomb but with a very specific meaning.

'You COCKADOODIE DIRTY BIRD TOUGH CRUSTS!' Shaking a balloon whisk and turning red in the face. Annie Wilkes style. That broad is scary.

I imagine that food people have their very own adult magazine on the down-low. Shot focus shots of foods, knives, kitchen equipment, and chefs all buttered and plumped up. In that month's centerfold, there would be a very detailed bio.

Some 'stars' bios would have to go like this:

Likes: 5 ingredients only, good quality vanilla and olive oil, tablescapes, anything with flames, orange clogs.

Dislikes: Not having a cocktail in my hand, vegans and vegetarians, men who do not overly pronounce the word spaghetti.

Here's mine:

Likes: Spicy foods. Cookies. Whole corn tortillas lightly fried and sprinkled with kosher salt. Anything with ginger. A guy willing to do the dishes.

Dislikes: Peas. Peppermint. Doing the dishes.

Favorite Knife: Global Chef's Knife, 10 inches.

Favorite Herb: Lemon Thyme and Basil.

Favorite Spice: Cinnamon.

Favorite thing to cook: braised short ribs with polenta.

Powerless against: Anything salted, especially salted caramel.

You now know I am powerless against anything salted, especially salted caramel. When I saw this recipe in Food & Wine, I was on it. Like 'ran to cupboard like a mad woman to make sure I had all the ingredients and didn't finish reading the magazine' on it. Come hell or high water, this pie was mine.

salted caramel pie: adapted from food & wine november 2011

printable recipe

1 1/4 cups thin chocolate wafers, crushed (nabisco's famous chocolate wafers work wonderfully)
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
two 14-ounce cans sweetened condensed milk
fleur de sel
2 cups heavy cream
2 tablespoons confectioners' sugar

Preheat the oven to 350°. In a food processor, pulse the chocolate cookie crumbs with the melted butter until the crumbs are moistened. Press the crumbs evenly into a 9-inch glass or metal pie plate. Bake for about 10 minutes, just until lightly browned. Let cool. Increase the oven temperature to 425°.

Scrape the condensed milk into a 9-by-13-inch glass baking dish and sprinkle with a scant 1/2 teaspoon of fleur de sel. Cover the dish with foil and place it in a roasting pan. Add enough hot water to the pan to reach one-third of the way up the side of the baking dish. Bake, lifting the foil to stir 2 or 3 times, until the condensed milk is golden and thickened, about 2 hours; making sure to add more water to the pan as necessary. The consistency of the caramel should be like dulce de leche. Don't worry if it is lumpy; it will smooth out as it chills.

Scrape the caramel filling into the pie crust, smoothing the top. Spray a sheet of plastic wrap with vegetable oil spray and cover the pie. Place in the refrigerator until the filling is chilled and set, at least 4 hours.

Using an electric mixer with whip attachment, beat the cream with the confectioners' sugar until firm. Remove the plastic from pie and place the whipped cream on top and sprinkle with fleur de sel. Cut into wedges and serve.

:::

Tasting notes and tips: The original recipe called for a graham cracker crust. If you do that, add a 1/4 light brown sugar when you are blending the mixture together in the food processor. I used Hawaiian Pink Sea Salt instead of fluer de sel, here's the deal do not use iodized salt, maybe kosher salt in the actual caramel.

I am sure you can imagine what it tastes like but in a way this pie is all about texture. When you first slice into the pie, the knife glides through the soft lightly sweetened whipped cream then you can feel it hit some resistance that is the stretchy chewy salty sweet caramel then the knife makes the first audible noise when it cuts through the crisp chocolate crust. Taking the first bite has the same effect but then your teeth bite on a tiny nugget of salt and then it brings into focus the textures and sweetness of the caramel, the chocolate and the whipped cream. So damn good. Well worth every single calorie.

Also, don't forget to leave a comment here and win an Immersion Blender. I made the crust and whipped cream in it much easier than whipping out a food processor or using my Kitchen Aid.

beer and cheddar soup & giveaway

2011-10-31T15:05:00.000-07:00

:::contest closed:::

[beware bad/corny puns ahead!]

Happy Halloween. I have a huge treat for you.

But in the spirit of the Holiday you have to get through the scary stuff to get to the treat.

First, something a little spooky.

This is Nancy working on her Halloween makeup in the style of Dia De Los Muertos.

Garlic to keep away the vampires. Good thing too, this recipe had 3 heads of roasted garlic plus 8 cloves of sauteed garlic.

Beer and bread to fill your stomach and to keep you warm.

OHHHHH THE CALORIES!!!! Scary.

beer and cheddar soup: adapted from the kitchn
serves 8

printable recipe

1 cup unsalted butter
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1 large yellow onion, diced
8 cloves garlic, minced
4 cups vegetable stock
1 cup (8 fluid ounces) of beer, the recipe calls for Stone Ruination IPA (I used Sierra Nevada Ovila Saison because I am a little obsessed with this beer and the story behind it)
1 cup whole milk
3 heads roasted garlic
1 tablespoon smoked paprika, plus more for serving
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
2 1/4 pounds cheddar cheese, grated
salt
pepper
chopped fresh chives, for garnish
water, for thinning if needed

Roast the garlic: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Peel outermost of the papery skin from the garlic head. Using a knife cut the top 1/4 to 1/2 inch off of the top of the garlic, making sure to expose the individual cloves of garlic. Lightly cover with olive oil. Place on a baking sheet and bake until the garlic skin is light golden brown and cloves are tender when pressed, about 1 hour.

Melt 3/4 cup of the butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Add the flour, whisking to avoid lumps. Cook, stirring frequently, until the flour takes on a light blond color, about 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and set aside.

Melt the remaining 1/4 cup butter in a large soup pot over medium heat. Stir in the onion and minced garlic and cook just until the garlic is aromatic, 30 seconds to 1 minute. Add the vegetable stock, beer, and milk. When the liquid begins to simmer, stir in the garlic, paprika, and cumin. Using a handheld immersion blender or a blender, puree until smooth. Whisk in the flour mixture until thoroughly combined. Add a handful of cheese at a time, whisking after each addition, until melted and smooth. If needed, thin soup with a little warm water for a thinner consistency.

Season with salt and pepper to taste. Sprinkle with chives and paprika. Serve immediately.

Tasting Notes: This soup is decadent, warm and filling. A little goes a long way. Not an everyday soup. I would serve it with a salad with a really acidic dressing to cut through all the richness.

The Treat!!!!

Big Kitchen.com has partnered with evil chef mom for a devilishly great giveaway. Want to win a Delongi Immersion Blender? I have had this blender for a week now and I have used it for everything. I have chopped nuts, made soup, whipped cream, cookie crust, smoothies, and milk shakes. You can even chop onions in it. This is one of those gadgets you probably think you do not need until you actually have one, then you name it and think of it as one of your children and wonder what your life was before it came around.

The deets: This immersion blender has five speeds plus a turbo button for some extra oomph. An extra long shaft so it can be used in extra large pots. It has a beaker, chopper attachment, whisk attachment, and big foot. The blades are stanless steel and most of the parts are dishwasher safe. That means this is much easier than breaking out the blender for most things.

So how do I win it?

Leave a comment here. (you can leave as many as you want)

Visit Big Kitchen.com and take a look around, maybe make a Christmas wish list?!

Like Big Kitchen on Facebook.

Follow Big Kitchen on Twitter.

Winners will be announced Friday, November 4, 2011. Good Luck!

pasta carbonara with leeks and lemon

2011-10-27T19:55:00.000-07:00

Nothing is certain but death and taxes...

I want to add a few stipulations to that:

1. Most people hate Mondays.
2. Most people think reading at the table during a meal is rude.

and

3. Parents have a litany of rules. Some great, some good, some not-so-good, and others are just arbitrary. They vary from home to home.

I also remember certain arbitrary rules I hated as a kid, making my bed for example. I thought it was stupid and vowed never to the same to my kids. So far I haven't. I make my bed but could care less about my kids. You want to sleep in a tangle of sheets and blankets? Great, fantastic, have at it. It's not for me but if you don't care, neither am I. Pick your battles is my motto.

Which brings me to #2. You can read at breakfast and lunch but dinner? No, there is no reading at the table unless I am feeling nice and I rarely feel nice. But every couple nights one of the kids would inevitably ask if they could read at the table. Really? You know the answer is (shaking the magic 8 ball) In all likelyhood, NO! Then I would get a lot of whys, how comes, and who made that rule? I honestly didn't have an answer that satisfied them or me for that matter. 'Because I said so' has never been a good reason to me. I feel like a bully when I play that card.

So we cut a deal. Every Monday night you can read at the dinner table but in exchange for that, no reading or asking to read at the dinner table for the rest of the week. It makes Mondays a little more pleasant (see #1) and has started a nice unexpected tradition. We sit at the table for a little longer and most often there is a conversation going on anyways.

This Monday night's dinner was pasta carbonara with leeks and lemon. What we were reading:

Krysta: Zone One by Colson Whitehead [so far not feeling it like the critics]
Drew: He didn't read anything this week
Will: The Bachman Books by Stephen King [the original book containing Rage]
Nancy: It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini [loves it, can't wait to read it again. movie sucked.]

pasta carbonara with leeks and lemon: everyday food november 2011
serves 4
(printable recipe)

salt and pepper
12 slices of bacon, cut crosswise into 1 inch pieces
4 leeks (white and light green parts only) halved lengthwise, rinsed well, and thinly sliced
1 pound pasta
2 large eggs
1/2 ounce Parmesan, grated (1/4 cup) plus more for serving
1 tablespoon finely grated lemon zest, plus 1 teaspoon lemon juice
1/2 cup fresh flat leaf parsley, coarsely chopped

Set a large pot of salted water to boil. In a large skillet, cook bacon over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until crisp. With a slotted spoon, transfer bacon to paper towels to drain. Pour off all but 2 tablespoons of bacon fat from skillet. Add leeks, season with salt and pepper, and cook, stirring often, until leeks are golden brown, about 10 minutes.

Add pasta to pot and cook according to directions. In a large bowl, whisk together eggs, Parmesan, lemon zest and juice. Whisk 1/4 cup pasta water into egg mixture.

Drain pasta and immediately add to egg mixture, along with bacon, leeks, and parsley. Season with salt and pepper, if needed. Sprinkle with more cheese if desired and serve immediately.

apple crumb coffee cakes

2011-10-23T10:46:00.000-07:00

Right now...

Time: 10:01 am

Weather: 64 degrees and sunny

On my desk: Paperwork for Andrew's IB exams, a toilet handle, and medical bills. Want to guess how much Rich's July stay in the hospital was? There is a prize to whomever guesses closest to the correct total. It was a five day stay with 3 day in ICU. GO!

In my belly: Irish Breakfast Tea and a slice of toast.

On my nightstand: We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver and Damned by Chuck Palahniuk. Both disturbing for different reasons. Warning: Neither of these books should be read before bed.

In my Amazon Shopping Cart: The Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga: A Practical Guide to Healing Body, Mind, and Spirit and Sweetness and Blood: How Surfing Spread from Hawaii and California to the Rest of the World, with Some Unexpected Results.

Feel free to read into what those four books say about me and my psyche.

Last movie watched: The Ides of March.

Dinner tonight: I don't know, any ideas?

:::

apple crumb coffee cakes: food & wine november 2011
makes 12
(printable recipe)

streusel

1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
5 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces

crumb cakes

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 heaping teaspoon cinnamon
1 stick cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
3/4 cup sour cream
1 large egg, beaten
1 large Granny Smith apple, peeled and finely diced

Preheat the oven to 350°.

Make the streusel:

In the bowl of a standing mixer fitted with a paddle, combine the flour with the brown sugar, cinnamon, and salt. Add the butter pieces and mix at medium-low speed until the mixture resembles coarse meal; continue mixing the streusel until very small clumps form. Transfer the streusel to a large plate or bowl and refrigerate until it is well chilled, about 10 minutes.

Make the cakes:

Line 12 standard-size muffin cups with paper liners. Spray the liners with vegetable oil cooking spray (or just spray the muffin tin) In the mixer bowl, combine the flour with the granulated sugar, salt, baking powder, baking soda and cinnamon. Add the butter pieces and beat at low speed until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Add the sour cream and beaten egg and beat until the batter is smooth. Add the diced apple and beat just until incorporated.

Fill the muffin cups about three quarters full with the crumb cake batter. Press the streusel into clumps and sprinkle on top. Bake the crumb cakes in the center of the oven for about 30 minutes, until risen, golden and springy to the touch; rotate the pans halfway through baking. Let the crumb cakes cool slightly before serving.

Tasting Notes: This is my favorite kind of recipe. It is easy and you probably have most of the ingredients all ready in your refrigerator and pantry. Within an hour you could have these little lovelies in your hand. A Sunday snack because who turns down warm baked goods on a Sunday afternoon? Nobody, that's who! You know how sometimes coffee cake be dry and flavorless? Not these, soft and moist, full of flavor from the bits of apple, cinnamon, and sour cream. Plus, they are topped in streusel! I wish everything could be topped in streusel.

chicken enchiladas verde

2011-10-17T13:36:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, it was Rich's birthday and according to family tradition you get to pick your birthday meal, heart attack or not. You are allowed a 24 hour reprieve from the evil regime.

Rich's pick was chicken enchiladas with flour tortillas. Ugh, I know, I know. That's all sorts of wrong but I have made them before and it's actually pretty good. I asked Rich to go to the store to buy tortillas since we were out of them. He brought back butter flavored flour tortillas.Yes, they actually exist. Matter of fact, the first thing when you google butter flavored tortillas is this. I should have read the comments before I started cooking.

Anyways, my thinking was that the flour tortillas will absorb the sauce and you wouldn't taste the butter. Oh was I ever wrong, I should have figured that out when you could smell the strong aroma of butter coming out of the oven.

How bad could it be?

Well, we all gathered around the dinner table and the kids and I all took a bite. Then we looked at each other mid-chew and spit our enchiladas back on our plate and then looked at Rich. Of course he had taken a bite of his rice and beans first (he never eats the entree first, always the side dishes). So we waited quietly and just stared at him.

He asked, 'Why are all of you staring at me?'

"Oh just because honey. We wanted to see if you like the enchiladas.'

He took a bite, thoughtfully chewed it, barely swallowed it and then declared with all the passiveness of a great diplomat that dinner wasn't so bad. He then proceeded to eat a whole enchilada to prove he could. We all dumped our food in the trash without eating another bite. It wasn't until later he declared it was disgusting, like eating popcorn flavored enchiladas.

Popcorn. Flavored. Enchiladas.

And he ate it.

I should have trusted my instincts to run far, far away when I saw butter flavored tortillas.

I owed Rich are redemptive* birthday dinner.

Really, is there not a better definition than redemptive? (Redemptive /riˈdemptiv/ adj.: Acting to save someone from error or evil: "redemptive love".)

But then it gets even better. My sister was at my house when Rich brought home the evil tortillas and she heard my 'how bad could it be?' comment. I texted her to warn her how horrifying it actually could be. The next morning when I log on to Facebook there is a message from my brother in law.

'Authentic as can be, Tortillas of the corn type. Hot oil. Enchilada sauce (red). Geso fresco (of your choice). Cilantro, diced white onion.Dip tortilla in warm sauce. Fry sauce laden Tortilla in oil until soft. Place on plate and sprinkle with queso fresco. Fold in half and repeat until desired quantity is achieved. Sprinkle cilantro and onions on top and enjoy authentic bliss!'

Oh fuck no, he did not just do that. He typed authentic bliss, matter of fact he used authentic twice. He wrote tortilla of the corn type. Like I don't know what kind of tortillas are actually in enchiladas. He just told me how to make enchiladas like a 2 year old who has never stepped foot into a kitchen. Pretentious much? Now I love my brother in law, he is one of the few people in this whole wide world I would lay down in front of a train for (still would) but he did not just tell me how to make enchiladas. I admit I get rather grouchy after cooking a horrible meal especially when I know what mistakes I made. But I especially hate being corrected first thing in the morning when I already know the mistake I made. Make Krysta MAD. Smash computer screen. SMASH! Let's just say I have a lot of pride and leave it at that. My curt reply was, 'I know.... but that's not what Rich wanted for his birthday dinner.' And I seethed for days.

This is how I normally make chicken enchiladas verde. Step by step. I don't have a recipe unless you count my helpful brother in law's.

Place corn tortillas on the counter to warm up to room temperature.

Boil a whole chicken in large pot with a couple cloves of peeled garlic, a jalapeno, and a white onion cut into chunks.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

Remove husks and wash a few pounds of tomatillos.

Half or quarter tomatillos, depending on size. Cut two white onions and a few jalapenos into chunks. Place everything into a large roasting pan. Sprinkle lightly with salt and cook until they look like the picture below.

While the tomatillos are cooking. Place a few Anaheim peppers on a gas flame, rotating them until they are black and completely charred. (This picture was taken at the halfway point) When the peppers are completely charred, place them in a ziplock bag and seal the bag.

If you do not a gas stove, lightly cover the peppers in vegetable oil and place them under the broiler until charred.

Grate some Monterey Jack cheese or even better if you can find Queso Blanco, use that.

By this point the chicken should be cooked. Take it out of the pot and place it in a bowl. Once cooled, shred chicken. Making sure to separate the skin and bones from the meat. Place meat into a large bowl and half of the grated cheese. Set aside.

Remove peppers from the the bag. Remove all the blackened skin, cut in half and remove seeds. Then slice peppers into long strips then dice.

At this point, your tomatillo should be roasted.

Decrease the oven temperature to 350 degrees.

Working in batches, scoop some of the tomatillo mixture into a blender and blend until smooth.

Remember to leave some space in your blender and leave the top off with a towel over the top, hot liquid expands and you don't want your blender to blow up.

Place a fine mesh strainer over a large bowl. Pour the tomatillo mixture into the strainer, and using the back of a ladle push the liquid through the strainer. You will be left with some seeds and skin from the tomatillos.

Add water if you feel that the sauce is too thick.

Add a ladle full of sauce to the chicken and cheese mixture. Mix. Set aside.

(You can add more sauce, I prefer my enchiladas not swimming in sauce)

Line a large baking sheet with paper towels.

In a frying pan, heat vegetable oil until almost smoking.

Place a corn tortilla into the hot oil and cook for a few seconds. Until the tortilla is floppy and soft. Make sure they do not get crispy. Drain a lined baking sheet. Repeat.

Here's where my brother in law recommends 'Fry sauce laden Tortilla in oil until soft.' You can do this, if you want. I have done this. Yes, it's authentic but I don't think he has ever had to clean that mess up because I still remember the mess it made and I have fried a lot of shit in my lifetime and have made HUGE messes in the kitchen and frying tortillas dipped in sauce goes down as one of the worst EVER. Sauce was on the ceiling, it was on the furthest wall from the frying pan. I will not do that again in the name of authenticity.

Lightly coat a glass 9x13 glass baking dish with PAM cooking spray. Then ladle some sauce into the glass pan. Coat the tortilla in sauce, fill with chicken mixture (not too much, them roll.)

Dip, fill, roll until the pan is full.

Pour more sauce over the top and sprinkle cheese over the enchiladas. Bake in the oven until golden brown and the cheese is melted.

While the enchiladas are baking, finely dice some white onion. Chop some cilantro and tomatoes. Warm up some extra tomatillo sauce.

Spoon some sauce over the top. Sprinkle cheese, onion and cilantro over the finished dish. Serve warm.

(printable recipe)

cream cheese pound cake

2011-10-15T11:20:00.000-07:00

This was the post where I was going to talk about the worst meal ever. I am going to have to give you a rain check on that. The last two days included a Hot Wheel being flushed down a toilet by a three year old, a guy calling me Rosie O'Donnell for a second time (he's homeless, obviously mentally ill but being called Rosie (TWICE) by a homeless mentally ill man? Well you start thinking you might need drastic plastic surgery.) and nursing a teenager who had her wisdom teeth pulled. What I really want to know is if PAM has a spray that repels trouble, insults, and sickness but can keep your self esteem sticking? If they sold that I would be a customer for LIFE.

This is my final post for PAM Cooking Spray. I have a one for next week that they didn't ask me to do but because I am feeling like an overachiver and it was meant to be this post but I didn't get pictures before everything was demolished.

Ok, I am rambling. So to get to the point, this pound cake is a tired and true favorite. I have made it 10 ways to Sunday and it always works. When I serve it, people ask for the recipe. It's dead simple but you will keep coming back to the kitchen because you just want one more tiny little sliver and before you know it, the pound cake is all gone. It's adaptable like any great pound cake, it's dense and moist with a great crumb. It holds up well by itself. It is killer with ice cream. Even better with strawberries and whipped cream or peaches and cream. If you wanted to stew some thickly sliced apples, heavily spiced with cinnamon and nutmeg and serve it on top, well go for it, after all it's Autumn.

Because pound cake is so simple, it has to come out of the pan neatly. No one wants a messed up slice of pound cake. I speak from experience. This is hard won wisdom, folks. A long time ago I tried to serve a pound cake that didn't come out cleanly from the oven, even though it tasted great, nobody touched it. Lesson learned, grease your pan well because even a great recipe will turn out to be a disaster if the preparation is bad.

One final point, if you have been reading ECM for awhile, you know Rich had a heart attack this summer. If you read this recipe, your first thought will be that I am trying to kill him with all the cholesterol in this recipe. Nope, he is pretty good at staying away from this stuff by himself but he still wants baked goods once and awhile.An added bonus of PAM is that there are no calories, no transfat, no saturated fat, no cholesterol, or sodium. Everything Rich has to stay away from. Even though most dishes contain fats and cholesterol, by using PAM in dishes this one way I can make sure we can control Rich's cholesterol intake.*

*Which totally sounded like a commerical or that they asked me to write this but funny thing is PAM never mentioned it and now that I am huge Nutrition Label reader, I noticed this myself. Crazy, how the world works.

:::

cream cheese pound cake:
makes one bundt cake or 2 loaves
(printable recipe)

1 1/2 cups butter, softened
1 (8 ounce) package of cream cheese, softened
3 cups sugar
6 eggs
1 egg yolk
2 teaspoons of vanilla extract
3 cups cake flour

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Spray a 12- cup Bundt pan with PAM cooking spray. (or two 9 inch loaf pans) Combine all ingredients except flour and beat until smooth. Add cake flour 1/2 cup at a time. Stir together until smooth. Pour into pan. Bake for 70 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Normally I do a random number generator for my giveaways and I did four comments this way then I picked one on purpose, you'll see why. But I swear the comments random number generator was looking out for these commentors.

So let's do the random numbers first!

#38 Stacey Jones: I have to work this Thanksgiving. But we will be celebrating it either after I get off work or on the weekend. What I'm looking forward to is cooking with my husband and teaching my children to cook. Hopefully they will learn recipes to hand down to their kids. My husband and I will clean up probably after a nap together! Lol happy holidays! Stay safe!

Teaching her children how to cook and working Thanksgiving! The random number genorator was looking after her.

#9 mlmnttlkn: Have no idea what our holiday plans are yet, the worst part will probably be hubby going to bed super early to work black friday morning at walmart.

Dude, I have worked Black Friday at Target for years, I know the chaos that ensues. I cannot even imagine how Black Friday at Walmart would be.

#5 Kristin Caler: I LOVE all the fall flavors, the root veggies, the squashes, gourds, pumpkins, everything.

Same here. Fall is my favorite time of year.

Amanda Paroli on Facebook: Just in time for the holiday's. Perfect for making yummy food and spending time with family and friends. Nothing is better.

Amanda, put this toolkit to good use!

AND

I picked this one... I had to after you read it you would have too. I might be called Evil Chef Mom but I am not called the Grinch.

#41 Ashlyne: Every month I send my Dad eight to twelve dozen cookies to share with the troops where he is deployed. This holiday season I look forward to sending more cookies and other types of baked goods to our troops over seas. I do not look forward to my first Christmas away from my dad. (P.S. I am 12 and my Mom said I can post on her account because I can’t have one, but I really want to win this). Ashlyne

Ashlyne: I hope this helps and most off all I hope your dad stays safe. There are no words that express how I am feeling right now knowing you have to spend your first Christmas away from your dad.

If you won, please send your mailing information to krysta(at)evilchefmom.com

a PAM cooking spray toolkit giveway

2011-10-12T14:31:00.001-07:00

:::contest closed:::

My mom mentioned Thanksgiving the other day. Already? Really? I can't even think a week in advance, let alone think about hosting and planning a menu for the holidays.

What does that have to do with a giveaway?

PAM cooking spray has generously sponsored a giveaway with Evil Chef Mom.

Check it out. If you win, you will receive a box that includes:

-PAM branded spatula
-PAM branded oven mitt
-Pyrex baking dish (13” x 9”)
-12-cup muffin tin
-One full can of the new and improved PAM
-PAM related recipes

Which should totally help with the fast approaching holidays and clean up. Which is the whole point of PAM, right? And if you tell me you couldn't use another Pyrex baking dish, a muffin tin, spatula, or oven mitt then I know you are one of those people who have already finished your Christmas shopping for this year. Sigh, that makes me depressed.

Anyways...

DID I MENTION I GET TO GIVE AWAY 5 TOOLKITS?

How to win?

First: You have to be a US resident.

Second: Leave a comment about what you are looking forward to the most about the holidays or what you are least looking forward to... (cough, cough... DISHES!)

That's it.

If you would like an extra entries: you can like PAM on Facebook and then leave a comment on ECM on Facebook.

I will announce winners on Friday with my last PAM experiment. Which includes the redemption from the worst meal I have ever made and coincidentally on a good day one of the worst meals to clean up.

pumpkin gingersnap ice cream

2011-10-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

'Ewwwww. What is that smell?' Katie asked me when she opened up her dorm room closet.

'Everything is just a little musty. It happens with an old building that's been closed up all summer. Let's open a few windows and air it out. Everything should be fine.' I told her.

Now, I feel the need to point out that Mills is an OLD school. Not the kind of 'there's no school like the old school' with big fat gold chains and clam shell Adidas.

I mean like established in 1852 old school. There are bound to be funky musty smells. Think of those two men up there after not showering plus wearing some Icy Hot and not changing their underwear for a few days. Funky/musty smells are part of the charm. Just like old guys. I know, I married one.

:::

Moving is always stressful. Then add moving into a strange smelling dorm room with your mom, your father, and step-mom... all who are trying to be polite to each other which results in no one speaking to anybody unless it's about the traffic or weather and after 45 seconds those topics are exhausted. No one even makes eye contact with each other, there is a weird tense vibe in the air PLUS whatever that smell is. Trying to make sure everyone gets just enough attention so later on you don't have to hear about how rude it was to exclude so and so with the inside jokes. Just exactly who are the adults in the room? Plus that god awful smell. WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

This makes for a very high strung daughter. I mean Katie, it is fair to say is already high strung enough as it is but this? This just takes the proverbial cake.

I begin sniffing around her room while everyone is unpacking her stuff. There it was... in the corner, on the ceiling in her closet. Water damage but not just a water mark that comes from living in an old building but a paint bubbling saggy ceiling problem.

'Ummmm, Katie? You are going to need to report this.' Pointing up to closet ceiling. 'Also, this is why your room stinks. Move your clothes someplace else in case the ceiling decides to fall in.'

Cue the squawking baby pterodactyl.

:::

The next day the building maintenance crew comes in to take a look.

Building Dude #1 confers with other Building Dude. We will call him Charlie. Charlie and Building Guy #1 start talking. There is some silence of silence, then some muttering... and some hmmmmm's. I imagine some rubbing of chins in deep thought and scratching of heads in puzzlement going on with Building Dude #1 and Charlie.

'We need to go see what's on the second floor to see what could be causing this damage.' BD#1 and Charlie tell Katie. After awhile BD# 1 and Charlie come back. More hmmm's and muttering go on. They then turn to her and say, 'There's a problem. Last year we had a raccoon infestation and it looks like they used the crawlspace above your closet as a litter box. Someone will be by to fix it tomorrow.'

When Katie calls to tell me this, I ask, 'Repair how? Because you understand this isn't a scrape the bad paint and repaint? This is replace the drywall, re-plaster the ceiling type job. And if it's really bad.... hazmat, replacing the whole ceiling and insulation if it's in there, maybe replacing the wood beams if the urine has soaked through and hasn't dried. Also mold and because it's an old building there might be asbestos AND you know there has to be lead paint. Which means don't eat the paint chips that fall on the floor.Watch, they are going to repaint the ceiling to get you off their backs trying to do the cheapest thing possible because this is just a Pandora's box waiting to happen and all it's going to do is result in you having a urine paint smell in your room. Be prepared to move... eventually.'

Do I need to tell you what Building Dude #1 and Charlie did? There wasn't enough foreshadowing in that last paragraph for you?

Yup, they went the cheap route. Which resulted in a urine/funky/musty/paint smelling mess.

:::

A month later. Katie gets moved out of her dorm room because THE RACCOONS ARE BACK and using the same spot above her closet as a litter box. It's like how salmon always go back year after year to the same spot to spawn. Apparently, raccoons go back to the same spot to take a dump.

This being the Bay Area and a very politically correct school, the raccoons will be humanly caught and released somewhere else. So before making the repairs, the raccoons have to be caught. Bully for the raccoons!

Which would be great and all... if some student stopped releasing the raccoons from the traps before the professionals get to them.

Oh yes, you read that right... at night some student is going out and releasing the raccoons from the traps. Katie is starting to feel a little like this...

To be continued.

[Katie, this ice cream is waiting for you when you get home!]

pumpkin gingersnap ice cream: sunset magazine october 2011
printable recipe

1 pt. whipping cream
1/2 cup milk
1 cup packed light brown sugar
1 cup pumpkin puree
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup coarsely crushed gingersnaps
2 tablespoons bourbon (optional)*

Whisk all ingredients except gingersnaps and bourbon in a bowl to blend. Strain into an ice cream maker and freeze according to manufacturer's directions. Scrape ice cream into a bowl and stir in gingersnaps and bourbon. Freeze, covered, until scoopable, 2 1/2 hours and up to 1 week (gingersnaps soften somewhat after 1 day).

*Because this ice cream doesn't contain eggs, I highly recommend adding the bourbon to keep this ice cream from freezing into a massive brick. See this comment thread explaining why. Also, since you are adding the bourbon at the end of this recipe make sure to use something that isn't rotgut because you will taste it. Makers Mark is nice.

apple upside down cake with caramel sauce

2011-10-03T08:45:00.000-07:00

DIBS!!!!

Seriously I had to call dibs on this recipe. I showed this to a bunch of food bloggers and while they were ooohing and ahhing, I was like, 'Oh crap! Who is going to beat me to making and posting this cake?' So I called dibs after asking if it was rude to call it. Have you seen this cake? It's like a caramel apple in cake form. I am all over that in a heartbeat. Anyways... I had plans for this cake.

What plans?

Well, I am doing a couple posts for PAM cooking spray and an awesome giveaway next week. They sent me an email asking if I might be interested in partnering with them to try out their new and improved formula to see if makes cooking and clean up a bit easier. I must have been feeling feisty because I was yelling at the email, 'BRING IT ON! I have a couple recipes that will make it weep.I have recipes that dishes, pots, and pans need to soak for days afterwards. I will show it no mercy!'

So first up, an upside down apple cake baked in a caramel sauce. Have you ever tried to clean up caramel after it's cooled? No bueno. It is not at all fun.

When a recipe calls for you to line it with parchment paper AND grease the parchment, you know you are in trouuuuuuble.

I totally bet you read that last sentence like you were 8 years old.

upside apple cake with caramel sauce: adapted from king arthur flour
(printable recipe)

topping:

2 medium apples
4 tablespoons butter
3/4 cup light brown sugar, firmly packed
2 tablespoons boiled cider or thawed apple juice concentrate
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 cup Lyle's golden syrup or light corn syrup

cake:

3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
2 tablespoons boiled cider or thawed apple juice concentrate
2 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 large apple, peeled and finely chopped
3/4 cup toasted chopped pecans, optional

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly grease a 9" round cake pan at least 2" deep with PAM Cooking Spray Line the bottom with parchment, and spray the parchment.

Place pecans on a baking sheet and toast them just until they become aromatic, about 5 minutes.

Prep the apples; Peel, core, and slice apple apples into 1/4" thick wedges. Place the apples into the prepared pan in overlapping concentric circles.

Prepare the topping: Heat the butter, sugar, boiled cider, cinnamon, and corn syrup together over low heat, stirring until the sugar is dissolved. Pour 1/2 cup of the syrup mixture into the prepared pan, and set the rest aside.

To make the cake: Beat the oil, brown sugar, boiled cider, eggs, spices, and salt together for 2 minutes at medium speed. Mix the flour with the baking soda, and stir it into the batter. Add the chopped apple and nuts, and mix until just blended. Drop scoops of the batter atop the apples in the pan, gently spreading to cover. Bake the cake for 50 to 55 minutes, or until a cake tester inserted near the center comes out clean. Remove the cake from the oven, and run a thin spatula around the edge to loosen. Let the cake cool in the pan for 5 minutes, then turn it out onto a serving plate, bottom side up. Scrape out any sauce that remains in the pan, and spread it over the cake.

Reheat the reserved topping. If butter starts to separate as you reheat, add water by the teaspoon and stir until the butter rejoins the rest of the sauce.

Pour the sauce over the cake. Serve cake warm or at room temperature, with whipped cream if desired.

:::

A couple notes: If you can find apple cider, make boiled cider. It's lovely and adds lots of depth to this cake. My friend Rebecca says, 'It’s like everything wonderful about fall condensed into one syrup.' Also, most people freak out when reading the words corn syrup. Mind you corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup are two different things but if you still don't feel comfortable using corn syrup in recipes, Lyle's Golden Syrup is a wonderful substitution.

That was the pan afterwards. The caramel and apples came away cleanly from the pan as I flipped the cake onto the cake stand and it took all of a minute to clean the pan with hot water and some soap. I am 0 for 1.

(This is a sponsored post. I received compensation, a toolkit, and PAM promotional items from ConAgra Foods. My opinions are my own and was in no way told what to write. This is my FTC disclosure)

curried cauliflower rice

2011-09-27T11:23:00.000-07:00

After a weekend full of craptastic food and a cooking disaster of the worst order (more on that in a later post), this was the redeeming dish. It was meant to be a throwaway dish, easy and not too complicated. A meal to get back some food mojo that has been lacking since the weekend.

Let's put it this way.... it started out on Friday evening being served a barely seared on the outside completely raw on the inside hamburger at a nice restaurant to throwing away a whole meal after taking one bite awful on Sunday. It was horrible.

If I used twitter more often this would be under the hash tag #foodbloggerproblemsthatnoonecaresabout.

This dish was a nice surprise. I didn't plan on making this recipe but it was the first one I saw in the new Everyday Food and it was a done deal without really ever thinking about it. Pleasantly spicy and rich without being heavy. The cauliflower was tender but had a little bite to it, make sure to caramelize the cauliflower well to give it a nice flavor. The rice wasn't creamy per se but you knew it wasn't just cooked in water or broth. This will be one of those go-to dishes that will be on regular rotation here.

one pot curried cauliflower rice: everyday food october 2011
printable recipe

serves 6

4 teaspoons vegetable oil
1 large head cauliflower, cored and cut into 1 1/2 pieces
salt and pepper
1 medium yellow onion, diced small
2 cups of basmati rice
4 teaspoons curry powder
1 can (15.5 ounces) chickpeas, rinsed and drained
2 3/4 cups of low sodium chicken or vegetable broth
1/2 cup heavy cream
chopped cilantro

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a Dutch oven or other heavy pot, heat 2 teaspoons oil over medium high. Add cauliflower and cook, stirring frequently, until browned in spots. This might need to be done in batches. Transfer to a plate and season with salt and pepper. Add 2 teaspoons of oil and onions to pot; cook, stirring occasionally , until onion is translucent, 5 minutes. Add rice, curry powder, and chickpeas and season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring constantly, until rice is coated, about 2 minutes. Add broth and cream and bring to a boil. Scatter cauliflower over the top (do not stir to combine) Cover and bake until rice is tender and liquid is absorbed, 15 minutes. Let cool for 10 minutes before serving. Sprinkle with cilantro before serving.

chocolate chip pretzel cookies

2011-09-22T20:23:00.000-07:00

A Cookie Haiku

cookie, sweet and salty
warm from oven
get in my belly

Once in awhile, I get something in my inbox that makes me stupidly giddy with excitement. Especially when the email reads 'Want to review a book called Cookiepedia?' It's really hard not to respond with a 'Oh hell yes!!! I want, wait reverse that, HAVE to review that book.' Honestly I would drop the f-bomb but some well meaning person will tell me to get over myself and think I told the publisher that. Which I didn't but that's how excited I get about cookbooks that are all about cookies. I am one happy... mothershutyo'mouth.

Especially when there is a recipe that says throw in whatever you crave... in this case, sweet and salty and oh by the way these are huge cookies. I am so on board with that, I already bought the ticket and booked a room on the Lido deck.

This book has some basic recipes like chocolate chip, snickerdoodles, and peanut butter cookies. Which it has to have, it's a cookiepedia but then it also has some unique ones like salt and pepper cookies, animal cookies with frosting and sprinkles, and cardamom cookies. Bonus points for it being spiral bound (it lays flat!!!!), a place to take notes AFTER EVERY recipe, also after every recipe there are ideas on how to make them your own. Someone really put a lot of thought into the layout of this cookbook, which I appreciated because if you have enough cookbooks you know that layout can be an afterthought in some other cookbooks.

chocolate chip pretzel cookies: adapted from the cookiepedia; mixing, baking, and reinventing the classics by stacy adimando
(printable recipe)

makes 1 1/2 dozen cookies

1 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 egg, plus 1 egg white
2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup of chocolate chips
1 1/2 cups of pretzels, broken into cookie friendly pieces

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and set them aside. Cream the butter and both sugars in medium speed until they are light and fluffy. Add the vanilla and eggs and continue to beat on low speed until well combined, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed.

Mix together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture in two batches, beating slowly after each addition, until fully incorporated.

Pour the chocolate chips and pretzels in the mixer bowl. Use a spatula to stir them together.

Portion 2 heaping tablespoons of dough at a time into imperfect balls and place them at least 2 inches apart on the lined cookie sheets.Bake rotating sheets halfway through, until cookies are golden brown, about 16 to 18 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack to cool.

( i received this complimentary book for review from quirk publishing. my opinions are my own and was in no way told what to write. i actually really like this book and would have paid for it out my own pocket ....so this is my ftc disclosure)

homemade ricotta

2011-09-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

at this moment...

Time: 6:25 PM Sunday evening

Weather outside: 90 degrees Fahrenheit with a NW Delta breeze at 3 MPH. Sunny and Clear.

On my desk: ad hoc at home, sara foster's southern kitchen, food and wine march 2011, a binder full of fundraising calendars and by laws paperwork for my kids school's parent group, my camera, and a rock.

On the back of my chair: Racer X. She has taken to sitting on the back of my computer chair like a pirate's parrot.

On my feet: Nada. Naked as a the day I was born.

On my nightstand: Battle Royale

In my Amazon shopping cart: This is embarrassing...

Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty
Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life
The Submission: A Novel
Screen Doors and Sweet Tea: Recipes and Tales from a Southern Cook
Those Guys Have All The Fun: Inside The World of ESPN

Pre Ordered:

An Everlasting Meal: Cooking with Economy and Grace
Zone One: A Novel
The Mozza Cookbook
11/22/63: A Novel

In the movie queue: Howl's Moving Castle

In the oven: Pizza

In my ears: An actual cat's paw [see above] also the Prime Time Emmys.

In my tummy: Soon to be pizza with candied jalapenos on top.

In my future: Pizza

On tap for dinner: Did you see the above mentioned pizza?

Latest obsession: Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Tahitian Vanilla Caramels

In March, I was invited by Amy to go to San Fransisco and watch Nancy Silverton do a cooking demo. You can read about it here. Anyways, I am anxiously awaiting her book that I preorded from Amazon (hurry up and get here September 27!!!). The cover alone makes me want to spend some quality time with it away on a secluded romantic beach. We will talk about olive oil, pizzas, and cheese. Because what else would a food blogger do with a cookbook alone on a beach?

At the demo, Nancy Silverton made ricotta. Now I thought I hated... actually loathed ricotta. Come to find out that wasn't necessarily the case. I just hadn't had freshly made from scratch ricotta. It's a whole different beast.

homemade ricotta: nancy silverton
(printable recipe)

yields 8 ounces (which is not nearly enough)

4 cups whole milk
1 cup heavy whipping cream
2 tablespoons freshly squeezed and strained lemon juice
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt

Without stirring, pour milk, cream, lemon juice, and salt in a small heavy bottom stainless steel saucepan and bring to a boil. Turn off heat and set aside until mixture cools slightly approximately 5-10 minutes. You will see the ricotta separating into curds. Line a strainer or colander with a cheesecloth and place it in the sink. Scoop the curds out of the saucepan and into the strainer or colander to drain. Don't pour it because you don't want to break up the curds. You can use the ricotta, while it's still warm, or tie the cheesecloth onto the handle of a long wooden spoon. Place spoon over a bowl so the bundle is hanging over the bowl and place it in the refrigerator to drain until you are ready to use it or for up to 2 days.

homemade funfetti cake

2011-09-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hey! Hi! Come here. I have a secret I want to share with you. Come in closer because I'd rather whisper it in your ear. I don't want everyone to know. Just you. Come closer. Okay, ready? Promise me you won't laugh? All right... deep breath.

'I have a rather addictive personality. No, no, no, really I don't think you understand. I stayed away from the internet for years because I knew what would happen and it did. I don't gamble because I'd never leave the casino until Pesci and DeNiro, a la Casino, took a hammer to my hands. I try to stay away from Tetris and Angry Birds because duuuude I would end up fused to the couch and the fire department would have to haul me away on a flat bed with me still attached to the couch. My kids have been known to become orphans when a new Harry Potter book came out. Now it's Pinterest.'

Stop laughing.

So yeah, Pinterest. If you have never heard of it, let me say Pinterest is like a highly narcotic drug for OCD addictive type personalities, IT'S AWESOME. Lots of Oprah voice going on right there also add some jazz hands so you understand how awesome it's awesomeness really is. The only way I can describe it is how kids must feel on the internet today when they discover a whole world of pornography out there. My discovery is innocent but there is still that level of fascination and excitement and a little bit of shame about how much time I spent on Pinterest. Good thing about Pinterest is I am not growing hair on my hands or going blind. So I got that going for me.

A virtual pinboard of everything you like on the internet in tidy subject categories. For me, a teenager who was obsessed over my bulletin board and walls in my bedroom...adding favorite pictures of the hot band or teen heartthrob, favorite advertisements of shit I wanted when I would be a fabulously rich adult (clothes, makeup, cars) stickers that came attached to the price tags of the clothes. You get the picture... material greed at its teenagery best. Now, I have a new bulletin board that never runs out of room or gets messy. I'm all giddy just typing that.

I'm a little obsessed right now but the good thing is that I have discovered and tried a lot of new things because of it.

Like this cake. Good Lord, that picture made me smile and sent me off in a tailspin of obsession. I kept wondering what excuse I could possibly find to make it. I think it was because it looks so happy and this summer was not full of much happiness. Who pouts and is all get off my lawn when you see a funfetti cake? That's right NO ONE because it's funfetti, FUN is in its name. It's bright and colorful and gosh darn it people like me (meaning:cake). Tender moist white cake, buttercream frosting, and jimmies sprinkled through out and on top. Call the SWAT team because it's a sugar bomb of great proportions.

homemade funfetti cake: inspired from the kitchn. cake recipe from ad hoc at home by thomas keller
(printable recipe)

white cake:

3 cups all purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, cut into pieces, at room temperature
2 3/4 cups granulated sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 1/4 cups whole milk
3/4 cups egg whites (from about 6 large eggs)*, at room temperature
1/3 cup of multi-colored jimmies (it is one whole bottle)

vanilla buttercream frosting:

1 cup unsalted butter (2 sticks) softened
3-4 cups confectioners sugar, sifted
1/4 teaspoon table salt
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
up to 4 tablespoons milk or heavy cream

extra jimmies for decorating

baking the cake:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter and flour two 9 inch cake pans.

Sift together the flour and baking powder into a bowl. Stir in salt. Set aside.

In a bowl of a standing mixer fitted with a paddle, beat the butter and 1 1/2 cups of sugar at medium speed to combine. Increase the speed to medium high and beat, scraping down the sides as necessary, until the mixture is pale and thick, about five minutes. Beat in vanilla, then add the dry ingredients in 3 additions, alternating with the milk in 2 additions. The batter will be thick. Transfer batter to a large bowl.

Put egg whites into a clean mixer bowl and whisk on medium speed until whites begin to foam. Increase speed to medium high and gradually add the remaining 1 1/4 cups of sugar, then beat on high speed until the meringue is thick and glossy and holds almost stiff peaks. Fold one third of the whites into the batter to lighten it, then fold in the remaining whites. Gently add the 1/3 cup of jimmies and fold into cake batter until thoroughly combined.

Divide batter evenly into the prepared pans. Bake for 25-30 minutes or until tops are slightly golden and spring back when pressed. Remove from oven and place pans on baking racks to cool for about 10 minutes. Turn pans over onto rack to release the cakes (almost wrote Kracken). Flip cake layers over and let them cool completely before frosting.

make the frosting:

Beat butter for a few minutes with a mixer with the paddle attachment on medium speed. Add 3 cups of powdered sugar and turn your mixer on the lowest speed until the sugar has been incorporated with the butter. Increase mixer speed to medium and add vanilla extract, salt, and 2 tablespoons of milk and beat for 3 minutes. If your frosting needs a more stiff consistency, add remaining sugar. If your frosting needs to be thinned out, add remaining milk 1 tablespoon at a time.

*with all those extra egg yolks laying around, I recommend maybe making some homemade ice cream to go with the cake.

tomato jam

2011-09-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

I want to make a passionate plea for tomato jam.

Alright, I admit it's maybe more of making a persuasive case for you to make tomato jam.

1. Normally tomatoes are best in early September and in abundance which equates to cheap. Super cheap, especially if you get ugly tomatoes. Ugly tomatoes are the ones that are a little bruised, misshapen, about to go bad. Remember that those tomatoes need love too. I bought 25 pounds for 3 dollars at the farmer's market.With that 25 pounds, I made:

- 2 gallons of spaghetti sauce
- 4 quarts of pickled tomatoes with jalapenos
- 3 pints of tomato jam
- salsa

2. Pretty soon it will be winter and you won't remember what a fresh ripe homegrown summer tomato tastes like. It is going to get cold. The sky will get dark at 5PM. The rain, snow, fog, wind, damp bitter weather will make you cry for yo' momma or reach for the Prozac and a bottle of tequila.

[Right here is where Katie will call me up from college and say, 'Mooooooom, you know you can't mix anti-depressants with alcohol. Why even suggest it?' I will tell her, 'It's called hyperbole,dear and anyways you will do former not the latter.' Also... don't mix anti-depressants with tequila. This PSA brought to you by ECM. ]

In this case, some forethought will provide you some summertime [legal/non-lethal/non-prescription] happiness in the middle of a deary winter.

This recipe is the essence of summer. Sweet but with little bit of tang from the vinegar, surprisingly it is jammy with a pleasant little kick from the chile pepper, red pepper flakes, and ginger. A mouth full of umami. Honestly, I want to wallow in this like a pig in shit it's so good.

I bet you are now wondering how to serve this wonderful essence of summer? Toast with eggs. Fresh hot bread with some mozzarella. Pizza. Quesedillas. Fried chicken with mashed potatoes and biscuits. Slather it on your body? I don't care. Just make it.

tomato jam: sara foster's southern kitchen
(printable recipe)
makes about 2 pints (I ended up with 3 pints)

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, smashed and minced
3 pounds of tomatoes, cored and chopped
2/3 cup if unpacked light brown sugar
1/4 cup apple cider
zest and juice of 1 orange
2 tablespoons freshly grated ginger
1 tablespoon fresh thyme
1 small chile pepper, cored and minced (I used jalapeno)
2 teaspoons crushed red pepper flakes
2 teaspoons sea salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
4 whole cloves

Heat olive oil in a nonreactive saucepan over medium heat until hot. Add the onion and cook and stir for about five minutes, until soft and golden. Add the garlic and cook and stir for 1 minute more. Add the tomatoes, brown sugar, vinegar, orange zest and juice, ginger, thyme, chile pepper, red pepper flakes, salt, black pepper, and cloves and stir to mix.

Bring the mixture to a boil, reduce heat to a low boil and simmer until thick, stirring occasionally, about 30 minutes. Using a potato masher, mash the jam to a chunky consistency.

Remove from heat and let cool slightly. (Skip removing from heat if you are canning this jam)

Refrigerate in an airtight container until ready to serve, or for up to one month.

Canning Instructions:

Sterilize jars, lids, and rings in a large pot, cover with water, and boil for 10-15 minutes. Turn off the heat and leave the jars in the pot, covered, until ready to fill.

Bring another large pot of water to a roiling boil.

Drain and carefully fill hot jars, taking care not to touch the rims or interiors with your bare hands. Use a funnel if you have one. Leaving a 1/4 inch of headspace.

With a clean towel, wipe down rims and sides of jars. Place the sterilized lids on the jars and screw on the rings until secure but not fully tightened.

Place jars in the boiling water, reduce heat and keep at a boil for 10 minutes.When you are done processing, turn off the heat and let jars sit in the water for another 5 minutes. Remove jars from the water and let sit undisturbed until completely cool, about 5 hours or overnight. As the jars cool down you should be able to hear the lids popping. That's the sign that they have sealed correctly. If they haven't 'popped' store in the refrigerator and eat promptly.

Check the seal on each lid. If sealed correctly, the center will be slightly depressed and will not' pop' when pressed.

Clearly mark jars with the packing date. Store in a cool, dark place until ready to use. This jam should keep for up to 6 months. Refrigerate after opening and use within 1-2 months.

Warning: use good judgement when opening. If it smells funky, don't eat it. If it looks funky, don't eat it. Anything funky? Just throw out. Got it? Good.

spanakopita (spinach pie)

2011-09-12T09:44:00.000-07:00

If you live in my house and you have a birthday, you get to choose your birthday dinner and cake. If you wanted a deep fried Big Mac sandwich with a Red Bull aoili dipping sauce... I might grimace and look at you strange ~~maybe~~, no I will definitely ask, 'Are you smoking something I should know about?' But you'd get your damn deep fried Big Mac unless you are Rich but he says he's living under an evil regime now. I have heard Kim Jong Il muttered toward my direction a few times.

But I digress.

Depending on which kid's birthday it can be a whole month of them planning, scheming, and combing through cookbooks. French Laundry, Bouchon, and Ad Hoc being the favorite cookbooks to torture me with.

*cough cough* Katie, Nancy. *cough cough*

On the other hand, dinner could be like Andrew who always seems to ask for ravioli. Except for this year, when his dad had a heart attack the day before his birthday. Needless to say, I still have an IOU on his birthday dinner.

Then there is Will. Will's birthday is easy peasy laid back lemon squeezy. His birthday always falls near our local Greek Food Festival. Every year he asks to go there. This weekend being no exception. Gyros, brown butter pasta with Mizithra cheese, baklava, spanakopita, walnut cake and my favorite, loukomades (deep fried dough with honey and cinnamon) are just some of the things we normally sample.

To me good spanakopita is tricky to get right. The phyllo dough should be light, buttery, rich and never soggy or too greasy. There should be lots of filling that's flavorful; salty from the feta, spicy peppery from the spinach. I like more filling to phyllo dough and this recipe reflects that.

spanakopita: recipe inspired from these sources: mostly alosha's kitchen, my sister stacey, barefoot contessa's back to basic's cookbook, and vefa's kitchen.
(printable recipe)

1 medium onion, finely chopped
8 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
1 1/2 pounds frozen chopped spinach, thawed
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
splash of rice wine vinegar, optional
2 large eggs
8 ounces feta, crumbled
1 cup ricotta
4 tablespoons chives, finely chopped, divided
a handful of fresh finely chopped greek oregano, divided
1 stick (8 tablespoons) unsalted butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 lb frozen phyllo sheets, thawed*

special equipment: clean damp towel and a basting brush

*the night before: take out box of phyllo dough and let defrost in the refrigerator.

In large saute pan, heat 1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil over medium heat. Add onions and garlic and saute, stirring occasionally, until softened, about 4 minutes. Let cool and then transfer to large bowl.

Add the spinach, salt, pepper, red pepper flakes, nutmeg, and the divided chives and oregano to the onion garlic mixture. In medium bowl, combine eggs, feta, rice wine vinegar and ricotta and beat well to blend. Pour the egg and cheese mixture into the bowl with the spinach and mix well.

In a separate small bowl, combine remaining chives and oregano and set aside. Melt butter in a small saucepan.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush one tablespoon olive oil and a dab of melted butter on the bottom of a 9-inch x 13-inch pan. Carefully unroll the phyllo. Make sure you have a damp towel ready to lay back down on top of the stack as you remove each sheet of phyllo. If you do not lay down a damp towel, the dough will easily become brittle and dry. Place one layer of phyllo on the bottom of the pan. Brush with butter and sprinkle with the chives and oregano. Repeat, using 10 sheets of phyllo total, brushing each layer of phyllo with the butter as you go. The chives and oregano should be added every other layer. After 10 sheets, pour the spinach cheese mixture into the pan, spreading it in an even layer across the dough. Continue placing the remaining 10 layers of phyllo on top of the filling, making sure to brush each layer with melted butter, keeping the remaining sheets damp, and seasoning with the chive-oregano mixture every other sheet. Make sure the top is buttered and add a dash of kosher salt and ground pepper to taste.

Bake for 35-45 minutes, until phyllo is golden brown and crisp. Cut into squares or triangles and serve hot.

*** If you noticed there are now printable recipes!!! It will take a while to get the every evil chef mom recipe converted but if you run into a problem or something doesn't print, please let me know at krysta[@]evilchefmom[.] com. I would greatly appreciate it.***

ratatouille

2011-08-30T12:26:00.000-07:00

Just stopping in to say a quick hello!

'Hello!' with lots of frantic waving.

I wanted to say thanks for all the kind comments, emails, tips, commiserating, prayers, good thoughts, texts, and phone calls that you have sent my family's way this past month and a half. I am sorry if I haven't responded back in kind. July and August have been full of surgeries, denials of surgeries, bloodwork, doctor's appointments, paperwork, bills, bills, bills, rehab, interviews, sending one daughter back off for her second year of college and the other three back to school. It's also been looking for medication that is worth hundreds of dollars which has resulted in the cleanest, most organized house ever... but still no medicine. Did you know Lipitor isn't covered by our insurance? There is no possible way you would know that but now you do. Our insurance wants Rich to have a generic but the doctor claims the generic doesn't work as well as Lipitor. So, therefore no generic perscription. But he needs the meds to make sure his stents and ateries stay clear... i.e. translation: keeps him alive. 30 days worth of medicine is one hundred dollars. Lose 3 months worth. Do the math. Feel the fustration. Taste the rainbow.

(good news: cardiologist say lipitor will go generic in october!)

Let's just say my thoughts right now are not entirely focused on food or emails.

Anyways... ratatouille.

It's time.

Everything from the garden is coming in, probably, maybe, quite possibly you cannot catch up with all of it and you don't want it to go to waste but you don't know what to do with all of it and it's getting riper with every passing minute. This is where ratatouille comes in. Best made with overripe vegetables and I always forget to make ratatouille until I am overcome with vegetables and at my wits end. Then a little flicker of light bulb goes off in my brain. Rat-a-tat-tat-touille. The word blinks to the beat of the light. I feel so ditzy for forgetting about this recipe. I am always taken aback how astonishingly good ratatouille is. It's like finding a hundred dollar bills in an old pair of jeans. A happy surprise. One that only could happen once in a great while.

~~~

ratatouille: french food at home by laura calder
serves:6

* this is more of a rustic ratatouille instead of an elegant sliced baked version. i cannot suggest enough serving this with a poached egg or egg-over-easy over the ratatouille and some warm homemade or bakery bought bread on the side.

2 1/2 pounds of tomatoes
about 1/2 cup olive oil (you might need a little more)
2 medium yellow onions, sliced
4 garlic cloves, chopped (more if you like garlic)
1 bay leaf
1 rosemary branch
2 thyme sprigs
1/4 cup tomato paste
5 zucchini, sliced
3 red peppers
3 eggplants, sliced
salt and pepper
a handful of chopped fresh parsley
a handful of chopped fresh basil

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Carve an X in the bottom of the tomatoes. When the water boils, plunge in the tomatoes a few at a time and count to 12. Pull them out and rinse immediately under cold water. Now you can peel them easily, flick out the seeds, and roughly chop.

Heat a tablespoon of olive oil in a saute pan and cook the onions until soft and translucent, about 10 minutes. Add the garlic cloves and cook for 1 minute. Add the tomatoes, along with the bay leaf, rosemary branch and the thyme sprigs. Stir in the tomato paste. Cook gently until the tomatoes become a thick, chunky sauce, about 30 minutes. Remove to a bowl, picking out the herbs.

Wipe the saute pan clean, heat another tablespoon of oil, and saute the zucchini, working in batches, until soft. Add to the tomatoes.

While the tomatoes and then the zucchini are cooking, put the red peppers in the oven and roast, turning occasionally, until the skins blacken on all sides, about 20 minutes. Remove and place in a plastic bag, close and let steam for a few minutes. Peel, seed, and slice into strips. Next toss eggplant slices with a light coat of olive oil. Lay slice on a baking sheet and bake until soft and beginning to brown, about 15 minutes. Turn and continue cooking for 10 minutes. (If your oven is large enough, roast the eggplant and peppers simultaneously.)

Add the eggplant and red pepper slices to the tomatoes. Season the mixture with salt and pepper. Add the parsley and basil. Add extra chopped garlic if you like and a drizzle of olive oil. Serve warm or at room temperature.

cheap tacos

2011-07-19T23:07:00.000-07:00

Alternate title for this post: .... and BOOM goes the dynamite!!!!

So... I bet if I told you that I am one hot mess right now, you'd probably believe me without even knowing why I am such a hot fantastic mess. You'd say, 'Krysta, I've been reading your blog for quite some time and everything you've written so far....well, yeah, ummm to put it nicely you ARE a hot mess. P.S. Please stay away from me, I am not sure if your drama/bad luck is contagious.'

I wish there was a vaccine. Maybe then I could get inoculated from all this crap.

And you haven't even heard half of it.

Seriously.

I know someone who will actually physically recoil from you if you even look like you have had dramatic day. What I am about to tell you would make her shit her pants in holy terror and run away like her hair was on fire. Especially after everything else that has happened since the beginning of 2011 i.e. the stuff that you guys don't know about.

Anyways...

I have a stress fracture in my foot.

Make all the jokes you want.

Or get all metaphysical.

Trust me, I have thought of them all because when your husband is recuperating from a heart attack and you are laid up in a super sexy orthopedic boot and both of you are at home THERE IS OH SO MUCH TIME TO THINK (even though you can't see me I am wildly gesticulating this point). Also, there is time to discuss every single thing that you are thinking. Ad nauseum.

Allrighty, now that I have made my point, let's talk cheap tacos or as my mom would call them gringo tacos. I have also heard them called okie tacos. Kind of like White People's Chinese Food or WPCF for short, these are WPMF (white people's mexican food). And when I tell my family with the surname of Guerrero that we are having cheap tacos... they get excited. Strange, I know.

Before you start sending crappy emails about authenticity yada, yada, yada... this a a happy dish from my childhood and if you don't like it.... fine. Move along, there is nothing to see here. There are some things that make a cheap taco, well, a cheap taco. Ground beef, taco seasoning, canned refried beans, iceberg lettuce, chopped olives, and some grease. Change these ingredients and you change the integrity of the dish.

cheap tacos:

1 pound of ground beef (not super lean)
1 package of Lawry's Taco Seasoning
1 can (30 ounce) refried beans
grated sharp cheddar cheese
chopped iceberg lettuce
sour cream
chopped black olives
homemade pico de gallo or chopped tomatoes
hot sauce (I really recommend Pico Pica)
good quality corn tortillas, fried into taco shells, drained on a paper towel

In a good sized frying pan, brown ground beef over medium high heat until brown. Don't drain the grease unless there is way too much grease... use your good judgement. Add taco seasoning and mix well. Add refried beans and mix again. Heat mixture until the beans and ground beef are bubbly. That's it. Make your tacos. Serve on paper plates with plenty of paper towels.

:::

Rich just asked me what I was writing about. I told him cheap tacos. He groaned and asked if he could have still have those. I told him I don't think so... he moaned. Poor dude.

* thanks for all your suggestions, I know that we can still have these tacos... modified but it won't be the same cheap tacos as before.

i carry your heart with me...

2011-07-12T23:17:00.000-07:00

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

e.e. cummings

I used to always joke with Rich (in my best Marine Master Gunnery Sergeant voice) that, 'When you turn 50, your ass belongs to me!' Translated it meant: At the age of 50, I would be in charge of his health. I would make sure that he would schedule and actually appear at doctors’ appointments. I know it doesn't sound particularly romantic but what it meant was because of the 12 year age difference between us, I needed and wanted to make sure he is around. It was my way of carrying his heart in mine. With a somewhat chaotic childhood, fear of abandonment is a heavy backpack I still carry around and if I can take steps to know I tried to prevent that kind of loss, in some way it actually lightens the burden knowing I at least tried on my end.

Excuse me while I climb on my soapbox for a moment.

::: clears throat::::

I never understood when guys (or for that matter I know plenty of women) who brag that, 'I NEVER GO TO THE DOCTOR' Like this is a badge of honor. Sorry but I think you should be wearing a dunce cap and attached to said dunce cap a 'kick me, because stupid I am' sign. It’s time to go sit in the corner with your hat and sign, dumbass.* You would never not take in your car if it was making strange noises. If you had a leak in your roof that was going to make your roof cave in and damage your home, you would get it fixed. Why not your body? It's a piece of machinery; it works 24/7 without ever stopping or complaining... unless you are dead. Most people take better care of their cars then their bodies. Go to the damn doctor. It’s not that complicated.

*this excludes people who do not have health insurance

::: off soapbox :::

Anyways... Rich beat me to my threat by 2 1/2 years on Sunday. He went to work out in the afternoon, came home took a shower then a nap and woke up around 6:30 PM feeling achy... he said it felt like he had his teeth pulled and the Novocain was wearing off. He couldn't get comfortable, flinched when I tried to rub his back. Said his temples and his biceps hurt. I asked him if he wanted to go to the ER at first he said no. There was the usual married-a-long-time-shorthand-volley-back-and-forth of...

'Are you sure?'
'I'm fine.'
'You should really go.'
'Nah'
'You need to go.'
'I’m fine’
‘….’ Death stare
‘Okay, I’ll go’

So we got into the car and drove the block to the hospital. Yes, you read that right, only a block. Got him into triage. Not even five minutes later the ER doctor says, 'Your blood pressure and heart rate are fine but your ekg is funny. Have you ever had a heart attack?'
'No.'
‘Well you are having one.'
‘You're lying'

Yes, Rich thought the nurses and doctor were lying. I did too until I saw seven nurses and techs trailing behind the ER doctor. I know, I actually counted out loud with my finger. One, two, three… Maybe I should have worn the dunce’s cap. I can tell you my first thought when I saw all those people attending to Rich was, ‘Oh shit, this is serious!’

Way to state the obvious, huh?

And that was that.

Also, can I say how glad I am that we didn't walk to the hospital? Could you imagine the guilt?

I heard the hospital call Code Blue on the overhead speakers and within the hour he was in the cath lab having a stent placed in an artery, within two hours he was in ICU. It all happened so fast, there was no time to worry or even panic. Everyone exuded confidence and authority. It was the opposite of House M.D. Thank God.

:::

Later on that evening or early that next morning in the ICU Rich asked me, 'What about your blog?'

'Who cares.’
‘Will it change?’
‘If it changes, it changes.'
‘Will you write about what has happened?’
‘Only if you want me to.’

If there is ever such a thing, Rich hit the jackpot heart attack wise. All cherries and red 777’s. Lucky guy. He came in so early to the ER, he didn't lose any heart muscle. His heart attack happened in the back of his heart which holds up the front of your heart. It's the front of the heart that does the bulk of work so having a heart attack in the back is pretty lucky. The doctors placed a stent in his artery that was blocked 100 percent and discovered two more blockages of 80 percent. They also discovered a tiny hole in his heart that he has had since he was born and was in all likelihood the cause of the arrhythmia he has had since he was a boy. He is home now, up and walking and getting cabin fever.

What happens next?

Rich and I have an appointment July 20th to find out what the cardiologist wants to do about the other blockages and the hole in his heart. We will go on from there.

As for this space…

It will change but probably not as much as you think. I have a theory that blogs sometimes are glossy facades of what we want to see. Think Wizard of OZ. It is all very, ‘do not look behind the curtain.’ What you see only a glimpse of some of the meals we eat. What you don’t see is the vegetarian meals we eat four times a week or the red meat once a week, my aversion to processed foods and high fructose corn syrup. You see the treats; fried food and the ice cream, the cakes and cookies but they are just that… treats. Something we eat in moderation. Also, chocolate peanut butter pie sounds way better than tofu, right? You don’t want to read about tofu, do you? Tofzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Whaaaa? Oh yeah tofu is kinda boring on the excitement food blog scale. I hear you clicking off of here right now just mentioning tofzzzzzzzzz. Sorry, even I nodded off again.

I can hear you calling me out, ‘So then why did he have clogged arteries? Are you trying to kill your husband by not changing your blog? Clogged arteries mean poor diet, right? If he ate tofu that you were just being so flip about, he wouldn’t have had a damn heart attack.’ Well not really per se, Rich was served a really rotten genetic shit sandwich that we didn’t find out about until after I gently grilled his mom while I was sitting in the ICU. I don’t want to get into details but let’s just say everyone in the family was shocked about the information that was given and if we knew about this 10 years ago there might have never been a heart attack. But now this new information now gives Rich and his cardiologist a more complete medical history to work from and if the doctor says change his diet completely, I will. No questions asked and that change will be reflected here.

In the meantime, our family is going to hibernate, count our lucky stars, get Rich to his many upcoming doctors appointments and spend the rest of the time showering him with affection. I will sporadically be posting the some 15 odd posts that are backlogged while we are waiting for a more complete picture onto what will happen next.

And if I haven't told you... thank you for reading.

happy fourth of july 2011

2011-07-02T16:57:00.000-07:00

6.30.2011
glacier point view of half dome at sunset

another glorious day, the air as delicious to the lungs as nectar to the tongue. -john muir

tueeulala falls, hetch hetchy valley, yosemite,ca.

fresh beauty opens one's eyes wherever it is really seen, but the very abundance and completeness of the common beauty that besets our steps prevents its being absorbed and appreciated. it is a good thing, therefore, to make short excursions now and then to the bottom of the sea among dulse and coral, or up among the clouds on mountain-tops, or in balloons, or even to creep like worms into dark holes and caverns underground, not only to learn something of what is going on in those out-of-the-way places, but to see better what the sun sees on our return to common every-day beauty. -john muir

kolana rock

view of kolana rock, tueeulala falls and wapama falls

wildflowers

sunset at the side of the road

survey marker

:::

hetch hetchy is pretty controversial. as early as 1882 people had been eyeing the hetch hetchy valley for a site to place a reservoir that would provide bay area residents with an adequate water and power supply. after the 1906 san francisco earthquake, there was a lack of water to put out the fires and in 1913 the raker act was passed to start construction of the o'shaughnessy dam. many preservationists, including john muir, wanted the hetch hetchy valley to remain untouched and still to this day there are calls to restore hetch hetchy to it's original state.

hetch hetchy is one of the undiscovered jewels of yosemite national park. it receives the fewest amount of cars of all 5 of yosemite's entrance gates. we went one day on this long fourth of july weekend and it was practically empty. well groomed trails, no pushy tourists with their cameras jostling to be the next ansel adams, and spectacular waterfalls (the rangers said that the waterfalls haven't been this stunning for over a 100 years. all because of the 200 percent above average snowfall we had this year).

:::

i like the romantic notion of visiting yosemite on the fourth. knowing that a president had enough vision to listen to a scotsman who came to love america enough to make sure that something should be done to preserve our great natural cathedrals and that he was also given a voice (even though it was drowned out) when he loudly disagreed about the management of the same park he loved so much. it's uniquely american.

have a happy and safe fourth of july.

links: hetch hetchy
     restore hetch hetchy
   yosemite

root beer float popsicles & 50/50 popsicles

2011-06-27T11:14:00.000-07:00

This post almost didn't happen.... and you would have been able to blame Katie.

I'm finding out that Katie and I have a fundamental difference of opinion. We might look alike, gesticulate wildly the same exact way, sound the same but there is one big difference. Recipes. It came to light on a recipe we haven't posted yet. She feels the first time you make something, 'YOU FOLLOW THE RECIPE.' Really, if you heard her lecture me that's what her voice sounded like. All caps, in bold, and in italics. Very Mom sounding. I am more of a, 'recipe is just guideline.' Very chill, laid back like. I will admit she has a point that you need a baseline to know how a recipe will taste then adapt but I also have been cooking long enough and eating even longer that sometimes I can imagine what a meal is going to taste like by just reading the recipe. [good lord, how pretentious does that sound?] I know not to switch out pork for chicken and then wonder why the recipe didn't turn out like it should have.

I guess we will agree to disagree.

So, how come this post almost didn't happen? Well I was on pinterest the other day and I saw these root beer float popsicles. I showed Katie and she read the recipe... sigh, great. See the recipe originally calls for yogurt and when I asked her go to the store to get some miscellaneous items, including vanilla ice cream. She saw right through that ploy. She called me on it too. 'You want vanilla ice cream to make those root beer float popsicles, don't you?'

'Yeah, why?'

'MOOOOOOOOOM, you really should follow the recipe first.'

'The recipe also says to you can use diet root beer. It's a popsicle not a diet treat. That's like giving the middle finger to someone.' [no offense to the person who writes bite this, I was trying to make a point. That she was giving me the finger. You know here I was giving my daughter money and asking her to do me a favor and she is being a cheeky little insubordinate monkey.]

She left to the store and when she came back.... she didn't bring me back ice cream.

I feel like she was doing this to me...

[also it's eddie murphy's delirious... you should know it contains bad language and is definitely not safe for work.]

I am pretty sure she thinks because she's 18, soon to be 19, and in college that she can't get into trouble. I might not be able to ground her anymore but I sure as hell can embarrass her on the Internet. [Hi Katie!!!! LOOOOOVE YOU! Next time get me the damned ice cream.]

root beer float popsicles & 50/50 popsicles: adapted from bite this

18, 3-ounce Dixie cups
1 gallon of vanilla ice cream, here's a recipe if you'd like to make your own
root beer or orange soda
popsicle sticks
baking sheet, tray or dish
spatula

First of all make room in your freezer for a tray, baking sheet, or dish. Snip a little bit of the Dixie cup. This will make it easier to peel the cup off of the popsicle later on. Place Dixie cups on tray.

Layout all of your ingredients. Fill bottom 1/3 of the Dixie cups with ice cream, then pour root beer slowly over ice cream until the root beer fills two thirds of the Dixie cup. Place tray into the freezer. Freeze for about two hours or until root beer is close to frozen. Carefully, fill the top third of the Dixie cups with remaining ice cream. Freeze for 30 minutes, then insert wooden sticks into the root beer ice cream mixture. Serve when the popsicles are completely frozen.

Combination Ideas:

Vanilla Ice Cream with...

Dr. Pepper
Grape Soda
Coke
cream soda
cherry soda

Yogurt with...

lemonade
strawberry lemonade
7-up

Blueberry Yogurt with Lemonade

Chocolate Ice Cream with Cream Soda

zucchini pasta with garlic and tomato

2011-06-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

'Here's the mail, it never fails.
It makes me want to wag my tail.
When it comes I want to wail - Mail!' -Blue's Clues

If anything from my kid's childhood has stuck in my brain it would be that song. I still sing it every time I see the mailman complete with the wailing MAAAAAAIIILLLLL at the end. The mailman kind of indulges me with a smile.

Anyways, our mail comes between 2-5 pm everyday. It's not the best time for food magazines to come because I am at my weakest. I am always hungry at that time, sometimes I haven't even given a thought about what's for dinner. So every cover on a food magazine makes me want to wail FOOOOOD!

Yesterday, it was already 102 degrees when the newest Whole Living kerploped it's way into the mailbox. I was tired, hungry and hot. There was no way I was going to cook. And there it was on the cover.... this thing of beauty, Zucchini Pasta with Garlic and Tomato pg 101. Fresh, Quick, Healthy, Raw! I didn't even read the magazine, I went straight to the garden picked what I needed and started chopping, dicing and slicing. Dinner was done and I didn't need to even turn on the oven.

Now I am the first to admit, a raw food diet isn't on my radar. I am dubious of any diet. I think that's obvious from this blog but I am willing to try anything especially if I can just go outside to my garden and grab what I need rather than going to the grocery store. There is something very satisfying about that.

This dish was wonderful, tasty, filling, and pretty to boot! If you don't think you could eat this as a meal, I would suggest a nice rare rib eye and serve this as a side.

zucchini pasta with garlic and tomato: whole living, august 2011
serves 2
*I doubled this recipe

8 ounces cherry tomatoes, cut in half
1 clove garlic, thinly sliced
1/4 whole pine nuts
2 tablespoons torn fresh basil, plus leaves for garnish
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling
1 zucchini, thinly sliced lengthwise, slices cut into 1/4 inch long strips
sea salt and pepper to taste
1 teaspoon lemon zest
squirt of lemon juice

In a bowl, combine tomatoes, garlic,pine nuts, basil and oil. Season with salt and pepper. Let stand for 20 minutes. Toss with zucchini, lemon juice and zest. Garnish with basil.

thousand island dressing

2011-06-20T22:23:00.000-07:00

I know what your thinking... 'How boring. How tedious. How tiresome. How trite. A thousand island dressing recipe? Can't you post something else? I've been lurking on your Facebook page. I saw something about chocolate peanut butter pretzels bites. Damn it, why aren't you posting those?'

Because this needs to be in your cooking arsenal, that's why.

Also you have to wade through all the crap to get to the good stuff for example; this post.

Imagine you are at a party and for some reason you are helping your host with dinner and she's all like, 'Oh no, I wanted to serve Thousand Island Dressing with the salad but gosh darn it, I don't have any. Whatever shall I do?' Think Scarlett at her whiniest.

Just go with me here, you can poke all the holes you want through the plot later on.

You look at the contents in your host refrigerator and and say in your best MacGyver/Super Hero voice, 'Don't worry. I got this covered.' Bam! You save the day. You officially kick ass like some ninja ass kicking koala bear. Cute, cuddly, swift and fierce.

Impressive, right?

thousand island dressing:

1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup ketchup
2 tablespoons pickle relish
2 teaspoons capers, chopped
2-3 green onions, chopped
1 boiled egg, chopped
a few dashes of tabasco sauce
splash of red wine vinegar

Place ingredients in bowl. Mix until throughly incorporated. Adjust ingredients to your taste. Serve.

nutella ice cream

2011-06-16T22:27:00.000-07:00

Drew and I have a little summer project going on. I am teaching him how to cook. All of my minions, except for him, know how to cook, bake, follow a recipe, and have basic knife skills. This is a parenting fail on my part. That all changes this summer. First up, Nutella Ice Cream.

Why did I pick ice cream for Drew to make for his first adventures in cooking? One, there are no eggs to temper, minimal ingredients, nothing to chop, dice, or chiffonade, no cook times. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy. Two, you can't screw this up unless you scald the milk and cream (he didn't) Three: if you make something super great your first time in the kitchen, like ice cream, it's a huge confidence boost. You can say, 'I made ICE CREAM and even better it was Nutella Ice Cream.' People are impressed when you make your own ice cream plus people love Nutella, so can you imagine what people will say when you tell them you made Nutella Ice Cream? That's right, they will think you are awesome. So go make some...it's an confidence boosting adoration potion. We all need a little in our lives.

nutella ice cream: npr (kitchen window: nuts for nutella via veggie belly) * I do want point out that the only thing I told Drew to do differently was to double this recipe)

makes 1 1/2 quarts

2 cups whole milk
1 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup sugar
3 teaspoons instant espresso
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cusp Nutella

Place the milk, cream, sugar and espresso in a saucepan. Cook on medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, until it starts to boil. Turn off heat and immediately add the salt, vanilla and Nutella.

Whisk until the Nutella is fully melted. Chill the mixture in the fridge for about an hour or until it is cold.

Process in an ice-cream maker, according to manufacturer's instructions. Store the ice cream in the freezer.

island rice krispie treats

2011-06-14T11:33:00.000-07:00

What's better than rice krispie treats? Not much.

I take that back. You know there are a couple things like mortifying your eldest daughter. You should have heard the embarrassment when I threw a bag of these marshmallows in the grocery cart. It was like Freaky Friday, our roles reversed.

Katie taking the stern mom tone: 'Mom, you really aren't going to buy those? Are you? Those have no nutritional value. Mom, you can't buy those.'

'Wanna bet?'

'Mom, seriously those are really bad for you. I cannot believe you are buying those. How embarrassing.' And she walked away from the me and the cart.

'Looooove you!' I yelled after her and blew some kisses in her direction.

See Katie was flustered because she is one of those grocery cart snoopers. You know she is one of those people, she judges people on what's in their cart. If she could, Katie would make us all wear big red J's on our clothing. J meaning junk...Hester Prynne like. Katie can be a very Puritanical Gladys Kravitz. She equates buying junk food to buying tampons. Actually I take that back, she would rather buy condoms and tampons and then take it up to be checked out by a handsome single male cashier than go up with whole pile of junk food in her cart. Ok so maybe not Puritanical but she is The Honorable Supreme Court Justice Judgey Mc'Judgerson.

But see, she has a sweet tooth.

And she can go on and on about junk food and toasted coconut marshmallows but... I didn't hear her say 'No, Thank You" when I offered her one.

I am pretty sure that the court and The Honorable J. Mc'Jugderson ruled in my favor.

island rice krispie treats:

3 tablespoons of unsalted butter
10 ounce (1 package) toasted coconut marshmallows
6 cups of rice krispies
1 jar of Fleur de Sel Caramel Sauce from Trader Joe's

ganache:

1 1/2 cups heavy cream
12 ounces semi-sweet chocolate, chopped ounces of semi sweet chocolate chips

topping:

toasted sweetened shredded coconut, recipe below

make rice krispie treats:

Coat a 13x9x2 inch pan with butter.

Melt butter in a large saucepan over low heat until it starts to turn brown and smells nutty. Be careful not to burn it. Add toasted coconut marshmallows and stir until completely melted. Remove from heat. Mix in cereal and stir until well coated with the marshmallow mix. Evenly spread the cereal and marshmallow mixture using a buttered spatula or wax paper into the baking pan. Evenly spread the caramel sauce on top on rice krispie treats.

make ganache: (a tip: I would make the ganache first and let it cool while you make the rice krispie treats. That means you are just a little bit closer, time wise, to junk food nirvana)

In a medium saucepan, bring the cream to a simmer. Off the heat, add the milk chocolate and let stand for 5 minutes. Whisk until smooth. Let cool for about 10 minutes, then pour ganache over the caramel and cereal mixture. Use a spatula to make sure it is also evenly spread. Sprinkle toasted over chocolate. Chill in refrigerator until chocolate sets. Cut into squares.

* note: I didn't use all of the ganache, I wanted just a thin layer but feel free to use however much you feel is necessary or however large your sweet tooth is. I won't judge.

toasted coconut:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place however much shredded coconut you need onto a cookie sheet in an even layer. Place coconut into the oven and stir every so often until the coconut is lightly brown and crunchy.

Tasting Notes:

As with all rice krispie treats they are best the first day made.

Gooey, chewy, crispy... super rich. I advise cutting them in small squares.

This is a recipe I made on the fly. So take it as such. Experiment. You can make your own caramel sauce, if there isn't a Trader Joe's in your neighborhood. You can use plain marshmallows if you cannot find the toasted coconut. Add some coconut with the marshmallows, or maybe some coconut extract. It's easily adaptable. Don't stress, have fun... after all they are only rice krispie squares and anyways you don't want to be a Puritanical Gladys Kravitz.. ;) Life would be boring.

spiked arnold palmer

2011-06-11T21:36:00.000-07:00

I don't like golf. I don't like watching it, I don't like playing it. Actually, let me rephrase that... I detest golf.

I'm pretty sure my Scottish ancestors are rolling in their graves.

Before you get all up in arms if you enjoy golf, I want to let you know I have tried on and off since I have been a kid and was forced to take a few lessons. Then as an adult trying to go and and share a hobby with my husband. Let's just say... it wasn't pretty.

First of all, when you are well endowed, ummmm, they get in the way of your swing. So unless I duct tape them down sort of like a drag queen would do in the southern region, I'm not playing.

Second, the last time and final time I went out I teed off and my ball hit a sweet fuzzy little baby gosling. Then Mama Goose spread her wings, hissed at me, and gave chase. I was traumatized.

Consider my Humane Society Card revoked.

Third, When we were playing I told Rich, 'The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That's golf. Hit the ball, walk after the ball, hit the ball, walk after the ball, try to hit the ball in the hole. Wash, Lather. Repeat. What a stupid game.' We then got into a huge argument and he walked off the golf course.

We don't play together anymore.

But we can share something sort of golf related, an Arnold Palmer which is also called a 50/50. Half Iced Tea, half Lemonade. I have done a lot of googling about what makes a spiked/drunken Arnold Palmer. The main idea seems to be if you spike an Arnie Palmer with vodka or make it with Sweet Tea Vodka, it's called a John Daly or if you are feeling adventurous make a Happy Gilmore, which is made with Everclear. A Spiked Arnold Palmer is made with bourbon. I wanted to try something different and make it with Jack Daniel's Honey Whiskey. It was light, refreshing, sweet without being sickly, enough liquor to make the heat tolerable.

drunken arnold palmer:
makes 2 generous servings

1 1/2 cups lemonade
1 cup black iced tea, not sweetened, unless you like it super super sweet
2 shots of Jack Daniel's Honey Whiskey (chilled in freezer) or Maker's Mark, that's 2 ounces
lemon slices
fresh mint sprigs

Combine lemonade, iced tea, and whiskey in to a some sort of mixing vessel. Stir.

In a jelly jar, layer lemon slices and ice and fill with the lemonade iced tea mixture. Top with mint. Enjoy

balsamic lemon chicken and lemon herbed potatoes

2011-06-08T15:18:00.000-07:00

Interesting thing this having a food blog is.

One: It can be worrisome... should I post this? Is this good enough? Funny enough? Am I posting enough, not enough, too much?

Two: Friends, Parents, Teachers, Employers of your family reading your blog.

Even though I secretly sorta relish having the tittle 'Your Crazy Eccentric Aunt/Daughter/Wife Who Writes That Manic Food Blog'. I, sometimes, have a hard time with the fact my kindergarten teacher stops by. [Hi Ms. G!] Will she mind that I just dropped the f-bomb or even worse... a forgotten comma, didn't hit spell check, !improper use of grammar!, a run-on sentence that is now the longest paragraph ever, too many ellipses or exclamation marks. The horror.

Or that will I show a picture of Rich when he called in sick and oops he wasn't. [Hey Sarge! Promise that has never happened. Never. Happened. Evvvvvver.]

Or that my car mechanics [seriously, those dudes know I write a food blog. I didn't tell them. Swear.] find 3 days worth of junk food wrappers and 6 pack of Mickey's Big Mouth empties in the backseat? [Hey Guys, the air filter you replaced? Awesome, I can now breathe]

Three [this is one that makes me sweat the most]: People eating my food! Potlucks, parties, dinner, pie, cookies... Oh good grief, what if it isn't seasoned properly or undercooked or overcooked or both at the same time! Even worse I shed hair all the time, I am like a wooly mammoth. What if there is hair in the food?

But there is one absolutely most awesomely awesome bestest good thing [bad grammar alert!!!] about having a food blog.... eating other food bloggers food and I don't mean cooking their recipes at home. I mean actually partaking of their culinary delights/prowess... in person. I had a chance to do that last month. You can read about it here. We ate this and this and this. All of them so good that they will become regulars in my house and sometime this summer will also posted on ecm. But I really want to about post 'the chicken'. Both Amy and Melissa have posted this recipe and have bragged about this recipe being super easy, really flavorful, and [excuse me Ms. G, Melissa, and Amy] hard to fuck up. I changed this up enough that I felt it was worthy of reposting and also to share the love because you really need to make this chicken.

:::

balsamic lemon chicken: adapted from very culinary and alosha's kitchen

8 bone in, skin on chicken pieces (legs and thighs)
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar, plus a little more for finishing the pan sauce
3 lemons, 2 zested, 2 juiced, and the other lemon cut into wedges
a good 1/8 cup of chopped greek oregano and if possible lemon thyme, plus more for plating
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
2 teaspoons fresh ground black pepper
pinch of red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
4 tablespoon unsalted butter

Prick the chicken pieces all over with a fork and set aside. In a large bowl, whisk the balsamic vinegar with the zest and juice of 1 lemon, salt, ground pepper, oregano, and red pepper flakes. Add the chicken and turn to coat. Refrigerate for at least an hour hours, but if possible overnight.

Preheat the oven to 400°F. Mix the sugar with the remaining lemon juice in a small bowl until dissolved, set aside.

Heat the oil in a large oven-safe skillet over medium-high heat until nearly smoking, about 2 minutes. Melt 2 tablespoons of the butter, and place chicken skin-side-down in the pan along with the remaining marinade. Cook until the chicken is browned on one side, 3 to 4 minutes, and then flip each piece over and cook 1 minute more. Sprinkle the lemon juice and sugar mixture over the chicken and transfer skillet to oven. Roast until chicken is completely cooked through and a thermometer inserted into the thickest part of the thigh reads 165 F, about 25 minutes.

Remove chicken from oven and place chicken on to serving dish. Tent with foil to keep chicken warm.

Pour pan sauce from chicken into a medium sized saucepan. Add remaining 2 tablespoons of butter and a splash of balsamic vinegar to saucepan and reduce sauce to half. Pour over plated chicken. Sprinkle remaining lemon zest and oregano on top of chicken. Serve with additional lemon wedges.

Bonus recipe!

I originally had these potatoes bookmarked before I had 'the chicken' but when I read how the ingredients corresponded with each other... well, I figured it was a match made in heaven. It was and the kicker was the potatoes soaked up the reduced pan sauce quite nicely.

lemon herbed potatoes: gourmet grilling special edition summer 2011

2 pounds large Yukon Gold or other yellow-fleshed potatoes
1/4 cup chopped mixed herbs such as parsley, chives, rosemary, and oregano (i used greek oregano and lemon thyme)
2 garlic cloves, smashed
1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1 lemon wedge plus additional for serving

Scrub potatoes and cut into 1/2-inch-thick slices and cook in a large pot of well-salted boiling water 10 minutes. (potatoes will not be cooked through)

Meanwhile, stir together herbs, garlic, oil, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper in a large shallow dish.

Drain potatoes well and transfer to herb oil, tossing gently to coat.

Transfer potatoes onto a baking sheet and place them under a broiler on high heat. Broil until potatoes are crispy and brown. Squeeze lemon wedge over potatoes. Season with salt and serve with additional lemon wedges.

moment of zen:

another shot of hawaii.

pea and bacon pirlou

2011-06-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

I have a question for you.

Have you ever bought a cookbook that from the moment you opened it, you loved everything about it? The colors are rich and deep. The photography is drool worthy. The pages are glossy. The writing is excellent. The recipes are something you Must. Make. Right. This. Very. Instant.

Heck the book even smells good. Have you ever had one one those books?

Okay now let me ask you this, have you ever had one of those books that you marked every recipe only to discover that almost everything you want to make is opposite of the weather you have right now. All those heavy winter dishes you have planned but you look outside to see it's 90 degrees and sunny. Now you have to wait a whole year to breakout those recipes. Disappointed much?

I bought one of those cookbooks I just described above back in April, Sara Foster's Southern Kitchen. I wanted to make every single recipe (especially since I am obsessed with anything southern). I took that book to bed with me for a week dreaming about what I wanted to cook. I flagged recipes with Post It notes (did you know they have graph paper post it notes? I bought mine at office max and I am smitten.)

Back on topic.

I then realized it would be getting hot soon and I might just have to wait to make pea and bean pirlou. I just don't want to eat beans and rice on a 90 degree day.

Then something strange happened. No hot weather. Matter of fact, it's been rainy and chilly most of May and going through to June. Normally we would have had at least one 100 degree day by now and instead we are still getting snow in the mountains. While that's a little worrisome for lots of reasons, I choose to be happy that I didn't have to wait a whole 8 months to make this recipe.

pea and bacon pirlou: sara foster's southern kitchen

4 slices of thick cut bacon
1 onion, diced
2 celery stalks, diced
1 garlic clove, smashed and minced
1 1/2 cups long grained rice
2 tablespoons fresh thyme
1/2 teaspoon Colman's dry mustard
1/4 teaspoon hot paprika
pinch of cayenne pepper
salt and pepper
4 cups chicken stock
1 large tomato, cored and chopped
1 16 ounce can of black eyed peas, rinsed and drained
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley or celery leaves, plus more for garnish
2 tablespoons unsalted butter

Cook the bacon in a saucepan over medium heat until crispy, then remove and drain on a brown paper bag. Add the onion and celery to the bacon fat and cook, stirring until the vegetables are soft, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and continue to cook, stirring for 1 minute longer. Stir in the rice, thyme, mustard, paprika, cayenne, salt, and black pepper to taste. Cook, stirring for about 3 minutes to coat rice.

Add broth and tomatoes and stir to mix. Bring to a low boil and simmer, uncovered, stirring occasionally, until most of the liquid is absorbed and the rice is cooked, about 20 minutes. The rice will be creamy, not fluffy and dry.

While the rice is cooking. Place black eyed peas in a sauce pan with 3 cups of water. Season with salt and pepper and bring to a soft simmer for about 15-20 minutes. Drain and set aside to keep warm.

Add parsley and butter to the rice mixture and season with additional salt and pepper, if necessary. Spoon the black eyed peas over the pirlou, sprinkle with reserved bacon and more parsley and serve.

apricot pie with coconut crumble

2011-06-03T17:54:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure when this stupid fear of pie crust first started. Was it when I heard other people bitch and moan about the extraordinary difficultly in making the perfect pie crust? Did I hear their fears and take them upon myself, like some 14th century food blogging saint except there is no healing involved? I am all like, 'Yes, I hear your fears but now I am scared too. So sorry I can't help you make pie dough. Now I can't make it either because I took on your fears. Great. That's just great.'

Maybe it was all the questions...

Flaky or Tender?
Butter or Crisco?
Vodka or water?

Really?All the questions makes me want to drink shots of vodka. Forget the pie crust.

When did it become a badge of honor? Something that I would brag about..."I don't do pie crust?" Oh jeez, what a crock of bullshit.

I mean I pride myself on being adventurous and not being scared... the only exception are ants and the occasional Stephen King book. Reading IT in seventh grade probably wasn't a good idea. Fucking Pennywise...

Why should I be scared of some flour, water, and shortening/butter? It's not some scary clown that lives in the sewers! It's also not like I am messing with fire, sharp knives, or ingredients that cost hundreds of dollars an ounce. If I screw up I can just toss it, right? It's only dough.

I refuse to let pie crust be my Pennywise.

That's my new mantra.

I saw this pie in this month's (June 2011) Martha Stewart and with the beautiful blushing apricots at the Farmers' Market. How could I not not make this?

The sweet tart apricot filling with the crunchy coco-nutty sweet topping was really worth making pie dough.

(let's just call my crimping crust style rustic/artesian, okay?)

apricot pie with coconut crumble: martha stewart living june 2011

topping:

3/4 cup plus 3 tablespoons all purpose flour
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons sweetened shredded coconut
1 stick unsalted butter, room temperature, cut into pieces
1/4 cup plus 3 tablespoons packed light brown sugar

crust: 1 disk of pate brisee

filling:

1 1/4 pounds of apricots, washed and cut into 3/4 inch thick wedges
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons of cornstarch
coarse salt
capful of Maker's Mark, optional

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Make the topping:

Whisk together the flour and 1/8 teaspoon of salt. Pulse coconut in a food processor until finely ground. Add butter and brown sugar, pulse to combine. Add the flour mixture and pulse until clumps form.

Make the crust:

Roll oue the pate brisee to an 1/8 thickness on a lightly floured surface. Fit dough into a 9 inch pie plate and trim crust to a 1 inch overhang using kitchen shears. Fold edges under and press to seal. Crimp as desired. Freeze for 15 minutes.

Make the filling:

Stir together the apricots, sugars, cornstarch, Maker's Mark, and 1/4 teaspoon of salt. Pour filling into piecrust. Sprinkle with topping, squeezing some of the mixture into medium to large sized clumps and leaving a 1 inch border.

Bake pie on middle rack, with a foil lined baking sheet on the bottom rack to catch juices, until vigorously bubbling in the center and bottom crust is golden, about 1 1/2 hours. Loosely tent topping with foil after 30 minutes to prevent burning.

Transfer pie to wire rack and let cool for at least 2 hours.

pate brisee:
makes 2 disks* (enough for 1 double crust 9 or 10 inch pie or 2 single crust 9 pr 10 inch pies)

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sugar
2 sticks cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
1/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon ice water

Pulse flour, salt, and sugar in a food processor until combined. Add butter, and pulse until mixture resembles coarse crumbs with some larger pieces remaining, about 5 seconds.

Drizzle water evenly over mixture. Pulse mixture until it just begins to hold together, about 10 seconds. (Dough should not be wet or sticky.) Shape dough into 2 disks, and wrap each in plastic wrap. Refrigerate until firm, about 1 hour or overnight.

*Dough can be refrigerated overnight or frozen for up to 3 months. Let chilled dough stand for 10 minutes and frozen dough thaw before using.

chocolate peanut butter cake

2011-05-27T18:27:00.000-07:00

I am totally enamored with the French expression 'une jolie-laide' which describes a woman who, despite not being pretty or beautiful in a classic way, still has an interesting face. The non-gender specific would be 'd'un beau affreux' but because it's cake, which for some reason I think of as feminine, and because this cake is pictured with the Strawberry Tall Cake, I think this French saying is very appropriate in this case.

This cake isn't as pretty as it's sister but boy is it interesting. And if you love peanut butter and chocolate, you should find it fascinating.

best butter cake batter: sunset cookbook

2 1/4 cups cake flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/4 cups sugar
about 1/2 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2/3 cup milk
1/2 cup peanut butter

filling:

3/4 cup creamy peanut butter
8 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
1 cup powdered sugar
1/4 cup milk

frosting:

5 ounces chopped unsweetened chocolate
1/2 cup butter, room temperature
3 cups powdered sugar
6 tablespoons milk

extras:

3 Reece's peanut butter cups, quartered
3/4 cup dry roasted peanuts

assembly:

Preheat oven to 350°. Sift flour, baking powder, and salt into a medium bowl; set aside. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat sugar, 1/2 cup butter, and peanut butter until creamy. Crack eggs into a small dish (do not beat) and add vanilla. Add eggs to the butter mixture 1 at a time, scraping down the inside of the bowl as needed. Beat in flour mixture and milk in alternating batches, starting and ending with the flour and making sure each addition is fully incorporated before adding the next.

Butter and flour 2 round 9-in. cake pans. Divide batter evenly between pans.

Bake until golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center of each cake comes out clean, 25 to 30 minutes.

Cool cakes 5 minutes. Invert onto a rack, remove pans, and let cool to room temperature, at least 40 minutes.

make filling:

In a medium bowl with an electric mixer, beat together peanut butter, cream cheese, powdered sugar, and milk until smooth and fluffy.

make frosting:

Melt chocolate in a medium metal bowl set in a pan over simmering water, stirring until smooth. Let cool to room temperature, about 10 minutes. Add butter and beat with a mixer on high speed until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add powdered sugar and milk; beat until smooth. Add more sugar if frosting seems too thin or more milk if it seems too thick.

assemble cake:

Dollop 1 tbsp. peanut butter filling onto a cake stand (to hold cake in place). Place 1 cake layer on stand. Spread with remaining peanut butter filling. Top with second layer. Starting with the top, then working down the sides, frost cake with fudge frosting. Decorate the top edge with candy pieces and peanuts.

butter cake/strawberry tall cake

2011-05-25T10:38:00.000-07:00

I didn't realize that I have a large family until someone pointed it out to me. To me, it's normal to have anywhere from 3 to 12 birthdays in a month... that we have a birthday dinner on a Sunday to celebrate 3 birthdays that occurred in one week. We don't do this not only once, not only twice but three times a year.

Wow, re-reading that made me realize how completely insane that actually is. No wonder people look a little frazzled when they meet all of us. Their brains must short circuit or something. Especially anyone who marries into the family, they must wonder what the hell they will be getting into... a cult, some weird religious sect, a tribe? Maybe, just, maybe we should stop procreating. It's a thought.

Anyways, lots of birthdays mean lots of cake if you are into that sort of thing. And here's the deal, this basic cake recipe with a few adaptations can be made into different cakes (for example: Friday's recipe will feature this batter but will wind up being a chocolate peanut butter cake). That means at one party to celebrate three birthdays, everyone can have their own cake! I call that a win-win situation for the person who bakes and whoever birthday it is this week.

This cake is an elegant tall strawberry shortcake. Don't skimp on the jam.

best butter cake: the sunset cookbook
makes 2 cakes (8 inches each)
16 servings total

2 1/4 cups cake flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/4 cups sugar
about 1/2 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2/3 cup milk

Preheat oven to 350°. Sift flour, baking powder, and salt into a medium bowl; set aside. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat sugar and 1/2 cup butter until creamy. Crack eggs into a small dish (do not beat) and add vanilla. Add eggs to the butter mixture 1 at a time, scraping down the inside of the bowl as needed. Beat in flour mixture and milk in alternating batches, starting and ending with the flour and making sure each addition is fully incorporated before adding the next.

Butter and flour 2 round 8-in. cake pans. Divide batter evenly between pans.

Bake until golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center of each cake comes out clean, 20 to 25 minutes.

Cool cakes 5 minutes. Invert onto a rack, remove pans, and let cool to room temperature, at least 40 minutes.

strawberry tall cake: the sunset cookbook

filling:

4 cups quartered strawberries
6 tablespoons sugar, divided
1 tablespoon finely shredded lemon zest
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
2 cups heavy cream
best butter cake (recipe above), cooled
6 ounces good quality strawberry jam

make filling:

In a large bowl, combine strawberries, 2 tbsp. sugar, the zest, and juice. Let sit 10 minutes.

In a medium bowl, whisk cream with remaining 4 tbsp. sugar until it holds a stiff peak.

assemble cake:

Using a serrated knife, slice both cake layers in half horizontally. Set rounded tops aside to use as middle layers. Dollop 1 tbsp. whipped cream onto the center of a cake stand (to hold cake in place). Place 1 of remaining layers on stand, cut side up. Spread with about 3 tbsp. jam. Sprinkle with about one-quarter of the sweetened strawberries, along with some juice. Then dollop one-quarter of the cream over strawberries. Repeat with second and third cake layers, using the reserved rounded tops.

Place the remaining layer on the top of the cake, cut side down. Mound the remaining whipped cream in the center and spread to about 1 in. from the edge, then sprinkle with remaining strawberries.

anzac cookies

2011-05-23T16:57:00.000-07:00

I love anything with a story or a some random fact attached to it. If you told me that the gold coin you keep in your pocket was your great-great-great grandma's who immigrated from Ireland in the 1800's and she stole it from a robber baron whilst cleaning his mansion. I would listen to you for hours then go home and break out dictionaries, encyclopedias, historical novels, and whatever else I had on hand to flesh out the rest of the story.

The flip side of that is anywhere I go, with anyone, I will blurt out any and all random facts with a, 'Did you know...?' My kids will groan, Rich always asks, 'Where did you learn that?' followed by, 'Why won't you go on Jeopardy or Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?'. My friends are very tolerant on a 6 hour road trip to Orange County locked in a vehicle going 80 mph with no way out when I am discussing why the lanes of I-5 Grapevine between Santa Clarita Valley and Pyramid Lake separate and cross sides so that the southbound lanes are running on the east side of the northbound lanes. FYI... It's all about geography and engineering. I'm sure that Amy could tell you all about it, especially since she was the poor thing ~~trapped~~ happily sitting in the passenger seat in the car while I was driving.

So then, these cookies. A few weeks ago the whole family was watching The Pacific. For those of you who don't know, it's about World War II and the Pacific Campaign. It's based primarily on four memoirs, one of them is called Red Blood, Black Sand written by Chuck Tatum who is a resident in my town of Stockton, Ca.

I know this doesn't make sense to you yet but bear with me for a second.

ANZAC stands for Australian and New Zealand Army Corp. and these cookies became known during World War I as Anzac biscuits (cookies) because wives from Australia and New Zealand sent these cookies/biscuits to their soldiers serving overseas during World War I. Anzac cookies didn't spoil easily and shipped well therefore making them a nice little something to send your soldier during wartime.

See how this would appeal to me? I mean we are watching a miniseries about the war in the Pacific, albeit the wrong war but Australia is in the Pacific. Then the legend of these cookies being sent to loved ones that are in a war. Then to top it off one of the characters in the miniseries is someone who lives in my town? OF COURSE I have to make these because I have a pathological need to tell the story of this cookie, while eating these cookies, while watching a miniseries about a war in the Pacific featuring someone from my hometown. Pathological, I tell you!

Be happy you don't live with me or that you are trapped in a car, elevator, or life boat with me.

anzac cookies: chewy gooey crispy crunchy melt-in-your-mouth cookies by alice medrich
makes 24 to 32 2 1/4 inch cookies

1 cup rolled oats
8 tablespoons unsalted butter
3/4 cup sugar
1 tablespoon water
2 tablespoons golden syrup or honey
1 cup unbleached all purpose flour
1 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup unsweetened dried shredded coconut

Place the oats in a blender or a food processor. Process just until the oats are coarsely ground but not powdered; set aside.

Combine the butter, sugar, water, and golden syrup in a large saucepan and warm over low heat until the butter is melted. Add the flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, coconut, and oats all at once and stir until the flour is completely incorporated. Divide the dough in half and form two 8x2 inch logs. Wrap logs in foil and refrigerate for at least 2 hours or overnight.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Position racks in the upper and lower thirds of the oven.

Remove the dough from the refrigerator and let it soften at room temperature for 15 minutes. Slice the douch 1/4 to 3/8 inch thick with a thin serrated knife, pressing the edges of the cookies together if the dough crumbles a bit, and place the slices at least 1 inch apart on a lined or greased cookie sheets.

Bake for 14 to 17 minutes, or until golden brown all over. Rotate the sheets from top to bottom and from front to back halfway through baking to ensure even baking. For lined pans, set the pans or just the liners on racks to cool. For unlined pans, use a metal spatula to transfer cookies to the racks. Cool completely before stacking or storing. May be kept in an airtight container for at least 2 weeks.

Tasting Notes: Crunchy and buttery, almost tastes like a cross between a flapjack and granola bar. They only lasted 2 days in our house and that was because I had to hoard some to take pictures.

caesar salad

2011-05-09T06:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how many of you guys have ever seen the movie Forget Paris. It's a Billy Crystal movie where he has to pick up his dead father's body in Paris and ends up meeting Debra Winger at the airport. They marry, he's always gone refereeing basketball games, lots of miscommunication, one harrowing 'piece of cake' trip to the fertility doctor involving a cup of sperm and a police escort. I always think of it as When Harry Met Sally 2. A very Billy Crystal 90's movie. Except not on a dude ranch.

Anyways...

There is an on going joke running throughout the film about how Billy's character, Mickey, always orders the same meal at any restaurant. I'm pretty sure it's the veal parmesan. At first, she thinks it's charming but after awhile, like all married couples, it begins to get on her nerves. It's something they fight about. I mean FIGHT about. Quite frankly she's a bit of a nag but I get it, if he's so unadventurous in the food department... good lord he must be a snooze in the sack. Right? Poor Debra Winger.

Okay so, let's cut to the end of the movie (because this is waaaay too long of a set up for a blog post). Debra Winger's character and Crystal's character are separated and lonely but realize they still love each other. They get back together and go meet their friends at a restaurant and the waiter asks Mickey, 'what'll you have?' Mickey looks up from his menu says with the camera panning on all the characters who are holding their breath...

'veal [long pause] piccata.'

The camera pans to everyone around the table and everyone breathes a sigh of relief and laughs.

:::end movie:::

Really, they end on that.

Well, Rich sometimes gets this way about Caesar Salad. Here's our Forget Paris.

We go out to eat.
He wants a salad.
I make a snarky snide comment about how he'll be disappointed, they are never great... soggy lettuce, plates aren't cold, salad had too much dressing, and do you remember the ONE TIME IT HAD KALAMATA OLIVES IN IT!!!! That's as bad as Miracle Whip on a burger.
Rich then gets mad at me.
I get mad at him for not listening to me.
The waitress refuses to come over to our table because it's reached THREAT LEVEL: RED at our table.
The salad is bad.
I won the argument but not the war.

I never learn because this happens at least once a year. But the good news is I have a great Caesar salad recipe to make at home to now stop this particular argument.

ceasar salad: salad as a meal by patricia wells

:::
notes: I am very particular when it comes to salads. Let's just say I am very Thomas Keller like and leave it at that. After french toast being the first food I learned how to cook. I made salads, a lot of salads, like a salad a day for years. So I have some rules.

1. Chilled plates and bowls.

2. All lettuce must be torn into bite sized pieces. BITE SIZED. Not 'Shrek bite sized but still need to be cut with a knife' no. Bite sized for you and me.

3. No ribs of lettuce. NOOOOOO. No one wants to eat the tough white part of romaine lettuce. Throw that out. You aren't wasting it. It's the crap that people leave on their plate. It's nasty, it tastes funny. Don't even think about it.

4. Pour only a little dressing on the salad at first. Toss with your hands. Make sure the dressing coats the lettuce LIGHTLY. Here is the one time I think it's appropriate to say use a deft hand.
:::

salad:
serves 4

1 head of romaine lettuce or if you can find it 6 heads of sucrine lettuce
1 plump garlic clove, peeled, halved, and green germ removed
caesar salad dressing
1/2 cup of freshly grated parmigiano-reggiano cheese (i used thin long slices of parm.)
3/4 of parmesan croutons

Wash greens well. Tear into bit sized pieces. Chill well.

At serving time, rub the inside of a large chilled salad bowl with the garlic halves. Discard garlic. Arrange chilled lettuce leaves in the bowl. Toss with enough dressing to lightly and evenly coat the greens. Add the cheese and croutons. Toss again with just enough dressing to coat all the ingredients lightly and evenly. Arrange on the plates and serve.

dressing:
1 cup

note: this recipe contains raw egg. so use good judgement and if you have a compromised immune system go get bottled.

1 fresh large egg
1/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
3 plump, garlic cloves, peeled, halved, green germ removed, and minced
6 drops of worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup of mild flavored oil, such as grapeseed or safflower
1/4 cup freshly grated parmigiano-reggiano cheese
fine sea salt
freshly ground black pepper

In a blender, combine the egg, lemon juice, garlic, and worcestershire. Process to blend. With machine running, slowly add the oil, processing until mixture is emulsified. The dressing should be thinner than mayonnaise. Stir in the cheese. Season to taste. Serve immediately.

croutons:

four 1/2 slices of sourdough bread
extra virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons fresh, finely grated parmigiano-reggiano cheese

Center a rack in the oven. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Cut the slices of bread into 1/2 inch cubes. Place cubes on baking sheet. Lightly coat cubes of bread with olive oil. Toss. Place the baking sheet in the oven and bake cubes until lightly toasted, about 5 minutes.

Transfer the bread cubes to a bowl and toss with the cheese, coating them lightly and evenly. Return bread cubes to the baking sheet and continue to bake until croutons are a deep, even brown, about 10 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool.

general tso's chicken

2011-05-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

Do you know what the problem is when your daughter is dating a Chinese American boy for a few years?

When you decide to cook Chinese food, the first thing out of her mouth is,'Moooooooom, this is white people Chinese food!'

Jeez.

So I am embracing the white people Chinese food this one time... much to the horror of my daughter. Oh well, can't please everyone, all of the time.

According to Wikipedia, 'General Tso's chicken is a sweet-and-spicy, deep-fried chicken dish that is popularly served in American Chinese and Canadian Chinese restaurants. The origins of the dish are unclear. The dish was previously largely unknown in China and other lands home to the Chinese diaspora.'

And apparently as with any Americanized food there are disputes of who it belongs to, what restaurant prepared it first, and should it be served with the skin on, should it be sweet and sour or spicy, ect.

Everything gets mired in the details and then I get worried that someone *cough cough trolls on the internet or my daughter* will point at me and yell, 'SHENANIGANS' or even worse 'IMPOSTOR' or the worst 'WHITE PEOPLE FOOD'. You know what? Who cares? It's good food and that's all that should matter.

This recipe doesn't call for you to deep fry the chicken pieces. Instead you lightly coat them in cornstarch and pan fry. This dish comes together quite quickly so have the rice and broccoli cooked ahead of time, so your chicken is crispy and saucy at the same time.

general tso's chicken: food and wine may 2011

1 1/2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil
1 large egg white
1/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon soy sauce
1/4 cup plus 3 tablespoons cornstarch
1 pound skinless boneless chicken thighs, trimmed and cut into 1 1/2-inch pieces
1 cup chicken broth
1 teaspoon Chinese chile-garlic sauce
3 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon vegetable oil, plus more for frying
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh ginger
2 large garlic cloves, minced
4 scallions, thinly sliced
steamed broccoli and white rice, for serving

In a medium bowl, combine the toasted sesame oil with the egg white, 1 tablespoon of the soy sauce and 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons of the cornstarch. Add the chicken, stirring to coat. Let stand at room temperature for 20 minutes. *A note here: the cornstarch and liquid comes together in a weird blob sludge thing when you mix it together, don't worry! Add the chicken and just keep stirring, it will coat the chicken. Really, it will.

In a small bowl, whisk the chicken broth with the chile-garlic sauce, sugar and the remaining 1/4 cup of soy sauce and 1 tablespoon of cornstarch.

In a large saucepan, heat the 1 tablespoon of oil. Add the ginger and garlic and cook over high heat until fragrant, about 1 minute. Stir the broth mixture, add it to the pan and cook until thickened and glossy, about 3 minutes. Keep the sauce warm over low heat.

In a large, deep skillet, heat 1/2 inch of oil until shimmering. Carefully add the chicken, one piece at a time, and fry over high heat, turning once or twice, until very browned and crisp, about 4 minutes. Drain the chicken on paper towels and immediately add to the sauce along with the scallions. Cook just until coated, about 30 seconds. Serve right away, with steamed broccoli and rice.

macaroni and cheese

2011-04-25T10:13:00.000-07:00

I never in a million years thought I would post about kittens. I would generously say I am not exactly a cat person. You live with a cat who's been excessively meowing (middle of the night, during the day, the cat. will. not. shut. up. EVER!) for over ten years, you wouldn't be very fond of cats either.

(The kitty on the far right is saying... awwww come on lady. seriously, how can you resist me? I. AM. CUTE.)

Wednesday afternoon, I was out checking out all my plants, making sure they were watered and getting rid of the snails. Does it sound strange to say I have a snail infestation? Almost as bad as the ANTAPOCALYPSE of 2011.

Anyways, back to what I was saying... I was out puttering around and I heard meowing from the wood pile behind our garage. Of course, I have to go check it out and there they are. Three little kittens. Cute but I figure Mother Dear is going to come back. So I leave them alone but keep a weary eye on them.

By Sunday no Mother Dear. Maybe making a pie? Who knows?

Rich has a soft spot for animals. Big ol' tough guy can coo better than anyone I know. He's been feeding them and cuddling with them. Especially this one. He loves Rich.

Absolutely hates me. I even get near it and it's like I am Damien or something. It will even try to take swipes at me. It is like every stereotypical horror movie. I walk by and the cat starts hissing, hackles raised, trying to claw my eyes out.

Which is making me wonder if I am actually possessed?

Can you guess which one Rich wants to keep?

He thinks it's funny. I think it's a bad, bad omen. Seriously.

* originally posted this recipe November 9, 2007. (before i had a camera)so i thought it would be a good idea to get some of those recipes actually photographed and reposted.

macaroni and cheese: tyler florence

kosher salt

1 pound elbow macaroni or shells

4 cups milk

2 or 3 sprigs thyme

4 cloves garlic, smashed and divided

3 tablespoons unsalted butter

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

5 1/2 cups shredded sharp white Cheddar

freshly ground black pepper

1/4 cup chopped flat-leaf parsley

4 slices bacon, cut crosswise into thin strips

1 large onion, diced

2 garlic cloves

smashed leaves from 1/4 bunch fresh thyme

Bring a pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the macaroni and cook for 8 to 9 minutes, until al dente. Drain.

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

In a small saucepan heat the milk with the thyme sprigs and 2 garlic cloves. Melt the butter in a large, deep skillet over medium-high heat. Whisk in the flour and cook for about 1 minute, stirring constantly, to keep lumps from forming. Strain the solids out of the milk and whisk it into the butter and flour mixture. Continue to whisk vigorously, and cook until the mixture is nice and smooth. Stir in the 4 cups of the cheese and continue to cook and stir to melt the cheese. Season with salt and pepper. Add the cooked macaroni and the parsley and fold that all in to coat the macaroni with the cheese mixture. Scrape into a 3-quart baking dish and sprinkle with the remaining 1 1/2 cups cheese. Bake for 30 minutes, or until hot and bubbly.

While that bakes, heat a saute pan. Add the bacon, render the fat and cook until crispy. Add onion, garlic and thyme leaves and cook for about 5 minutes to soften the onion. Season with salt and pepper.

To serve, scatter the bacon mixture over the mac and cheese. Use a big spoon to scoop out servings, making sure you get some of the smoking bacon mixture on each spoonful.

winner!

2011-04-22T18:03:00.000-07:00

[exploratorium 2011]

The winner of Cristina Ferrare's Big Bowl of Love is comment #26 Jenny Sunshine.

"I would have passed that cookbook by too--- so don't feel bad... but once you started reading the recipes. - I am still drooling!"

Jenny, if you could shoot me an email to krysta[@]evilchefmom.com with all your info, I will mail off your package Monday.

saturday pictures

2011-04-16T12:01:00.000-07:00

some left over pictures from hawaii.

these two pictures are are ttv or through the viewfinder. if you have an old brownie or duaflex and a dslr and feel like you need a challenge, try it. it changes your perception on what is a good photo and it's seems to be like i can be a little more forgiving on what i shoot. i like the challenge... and the forgiveness.

:::

exploratorium:sf, ca.

fort point.

the best part of having a birthday is conning your family (and yourself) into doing something touristy. i have always wanted to check out fort point so i used my birthday as an excuse to go.

san francisco skyline.

but i couldn't con any of my kids to do a charlie's angels pose on my birthday. boo!

waiting in traffic

:::

this was a prep shot for parmesan-crusted rigatoni with cauliflower and prosciutto
from amy at very culinary. i never got around to posting it, not because it wasn't good but because i was distracted with life.

preview for next week: mac and cheese (redux), italian sausage and peppers sandwich, anzac cookies, and all sorts of other goodies.

have a good weekend.

cookbook review & giveaway: cristina ferrare's big bowl of love

2011-04-13T12:14:00.000-07:00

So this is probably the strangest book review I have done so far.

I'll admit a couple things right here and now... if I saw this book at a bookseller or on my Amazon recommendation list, I would have passed it up. Pink predominantly on the cover, Big Bowl of Love as a title, and the pesky Oprah Winfrey endorsement sticker and blurb on the front. Everything screams chick-lit cookbook. Everything screams (to me) run away, run far far away.

Oh yes, I just judged a book on it's cover.

Tsk tsk. How stupid am I? But more on that in a second.

The reason I reviewed it was because of Todd and Diane from White on Rice. The PR firm for Cristina Ferrare contacted me and said (not really but it's my way of complying with FCC blogging disclosure guidelines) 'Hey! You know these bloggers. They took the pictures. They gave us your name. Review the book. We'll send you a copy.' I said, 'Sure.'

Because I know that Todd and Diane do good work. They are good, kind people, who put their heart, soul, and humor into everything they do. And so no matter what I thought of a cover (stupid me) it had to be good.

Also, it gave me a thrill to see Todd and Diane's name in print. I don't personally know ~~many~~ anyone who has put something out in print. I adore books and the printed word so anything people I consider friends and mentors have their name associated with a book, I'm so happy. That's a huge accomplishment.

Next time I see them, I will be asking them to sign my copy. All fan girl like.

Now let's do a cookbook review.

Pictures are gorgeous. Clear, simple and direct... JUST LIKE THE COOKBOOK. Also it oozes kindness, low stress, food is about sharing. I am all for that. I also love a cookbook that has a range of recipes: Italian, Greek, American, Mexican, Asian, Vegetarian. It's all in there and what's even better about this book is that most recipes are great solid workhorse weeknight meals. I know some of you are thinking, 'Meh.' but I would argue that's when we need books like this when you don't have a weekend to shop and prepare for a meal. A few recipes I have bookmarked are:

Avgolemono Soup with Orzo
Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato Soup
Chicken Breasts Grilled with Spicy Orange-Ginger Glaze
Roasted Sea Bass with Tomatoes, Fennel, Olives, and Capers

Plus the recipe I made last night.

orecchiette with broccoli rabe and sweet italian sausage: cristina ferrare's big bowl of love
serves: 6

2 pounds of broccoli rabe
4 cups water
1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil
3 cloves garlic, sliced but not too thin
1 teaspoon kosher salt
3 sweet Italian sausages
8 ounces orecchiette
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 lemon, sliced thin (really thin)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Place sausages on a baking tray and bake for 30-40 minutes, turning a few times to ensure even cooking. Remove sausages from the oven and let rest for 10 minutes before cutting them into 1 1/2 inch pieces.

Cut stems off broccoli rabe, along with any discolored leaves.

Bring the four cups of water to a boil, add the broccoli rabe and cover. Boil until tender. Drain in a colander, rinse in cool water, and leave to continue to drain for 5 minutes. Use the back of a wooden spoon to press more water out.

Heat a heavy skillet on high heat. Add the olive oil and the garlic, and saute just until the garlic turns golden. Immediately add the broccoli rabe, and mix well. Add the salt and mix again. Remove from heat and set aside.

Cook the pasta according to the package directions. Drain the pasta and place it back into the pot you boiled it in. Turn the heat to medium high, add the broccoli rabe, cut up sausages, and red pepper flakes, and mix well. Add more kosher salt and red pepper flakes if you like. Mix in lemon juice and garnish with a slice of lemon. Serve immediately.

:::

a couple of notes:

I doubled this recipe.

I couldn't find orecchiette (little ears) at my favorite Italian deli/store when I went to pick up the Italian sausage, I didn't feel like running to 5 different grocery stores to find pasta so this is why you are seeing farfalle in this dish. The orecchiette would be a much better shape for this, find it if you can.

I added a little salt and lemon to the 4 cups of water that I cooked the broccoli rabe in.

When adding the lemon juice to the pasta mixture, I also added zest from 1/2 of the lemon.

Eat the thinly sliced lemon with the a little bit of pasta, rabe, and sausage all together. Flavor explosion.

:::

Tasting notes:

If you have been reading me for any bit of time, you know dishes that mix bitter, spicy, sweet, acidity all together are my favorite kind of meals. This meal will go on heavy rotation here at evil chef mom, it was that good.

Also: lesson learned. I WILL NOT JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER EVER AGAIN.

:::

Still with me? Want to win a copy of this book. Leave a comment. Become a fan of evil chef mom on facebook (that will get you two entries automatically). You can leave as many comments you want. Tell me about a book you wrongly judged. Leave me a funny comment. Leave a comment telling me about how dumb I am for judging a book by it's cover. Say whatever. Winner will be chosen by the Random Number Generator and announced on Monday April 18th.

beef brasato with pappardelle and mint

2011-04-04T10:35:00.000-07:00

I hope that me only having one picture of this dish will not dissuade you from making this dish. Actually it should be an indication of how good this dish actually was. I didn't have the patience to style it or take multiple shots. You know when your house smells so good from whatever your cooking that you cannot wait to eat? This was that dish. This made the house smell criminally insanely good. I stood by the stove impatiently tapping my toes waiting for the timer to beep to let me know that it was ready.

This meal was a surprise. I mean, I knew it was going to be good... how can beef braised in red wine for hours not be good? But I was a little worried about adding all that mint and cooking it in mint and sprinkling mint on the finished dish. It seemed, well, like it would be a tad bit minty. It wasn't. I don't know why it wasn't or how that worked but it wasn't minty. Also, I'm a little miffed because since it's now warming up where I live I can't make this again until next fall when it starts to cool off again. Boo!

:::

Some notes: I would have had this recipe 2 days earlier if I would have read the recipe first. Duh! You need to marinate the beef overnight first. Don't make my mistake.

Also, at Incanto where this dish is served Chris Cosentino makes this with oxtail and beef shank... so trying that next time.

The recipe calls for trimmed boneless beef shank. I bought bone-in beef shank, trimmed and cut it into pieces myself, then browned the bone with meat and let it braise together to add more flavor to the brasato After the dish was done, I made some sourdough toast slathered in butter, spread the braised marrow on top and sprinkled it with salt after all that waiting. Seriously sinful, wonderful, delicious, rich and a little bonus just for me. I highly recommend you do the same.

:::

beef brasato with pappardelle and mint: adapted from food & wine april 2011

2 3/4 pounds trimmed boneless beef shank, cut into 2-inch pieces
one 750-milliliter bottle dry red wine
15 mint sprigs, stems reserved
salt and freshly ground pepper
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
one 35-ounce can peeled Italian tomatoes, crushed
1 pound pappardelle
4 large garlic cloves, thinly sliced
freshly grated parmigiano-reggiano cheese, for serving

In a large resealable plastic bag, combine the beef with the wine, mint stems and a generous pinch of salt and pepper. Seal the bag and refrigerate overnight.

Preheat the oven to 325°. Drain the beef, reserving the marinade; discard the mint stems. Pat the beef dry. In a large enameled cast-iron casserole, heat 2 tablespoons of the olive oil. Add half of the meat to the casserole and cook over moderately high heat, turning occasionally, until well browned all over, about 12 minutes. Transfer the meat to a plate. Brown the remaining meat over moderate heat.

Return all of the meat to the casserole. Add the marinade and bring to a boil. Add the tomatoes, season with salt and pepper and bring to a boil. Cover and braise in the oven for about 2 hours and 15 minutes, until the meat is very tender.

Using a slotted spoon, transfer the meat to a plate and shred with 2 forks. Boil the braising liquid until reduced to 2 1/2 cups, about 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, in a large pot of salted boiling water, cook the pappardelle until al dente. Drain and return the pasta to the pot. Add the meat and the reduced braising liquid and cook over moderate heat, stirring, until the pasta is well coated with the brasato, about 2 minutes.
In a small skillet, heat the remaining 2 tablespoons of olive oil until shimmering. Add the garlic and cook until lightly golden, about 1 minute. Add the mint leaves and cook for 10 seconds. Pour the garlic-mint oil over the pasta and toss. Serve in shallow bowls, passing the cheese alongside.

chickpeas in spicy tomato gravy (masaledar cholay)

2011-03-30T11:39:00.000-07:00

(warning: there will be some salty language in this post)

I have a weakness, my kryptonite, if you indulge me to think of myself as Superman for a bit. I HATE ANTS.

Plural.

One crawling on my foot after I have been walking outside barefoot on the grass. I can deal. I remain calm. Also, I am ok if ants are marching two by two in a line in orderly fashion.

If they are clumped up, wiggling in a massive ball or there are 50 or more. Fuck that, I'm outta here. Just thinking about it makes me shudder.

We came back home from vacation to an ANTAPOCALYPSE! They have taking over. It's like they found out we left and decided to throw a fucking rave or squatting. I can't decide which but I am leaning towards a rave because they are enjoying every minute of my ongoing torture and fear of ants. Also, want to hear the worst of it? They are fast moving zombie ants! They RUN! I am not shitting you. They are fast like the zombies in the 2004 Dawn of the Dead. Fast ants. That crawl all over each other. OH MY GOD WHO HAS EVER HEARD OF RUNNING ANTS!

*thump*

That was me fainting at the very thought of running ants.

In my kitchen, in my living room, in my dining room. The only place they haven't totally commandeered is my bedroom. No joke, if they do I am putting the house up for sale.

Here's the kicker... during the ongoing ANTAPOCALYPSE of 2011. Rich has taken no mercy...

on me.

That's right, I'm going to shame him right here on this site. He won't let me be scared of the ants. He won't be a chivalrous husband and say, 'Hey honey, it's ok. I'll take care of it.' Nope, no way, no how.

He won't clean up the dead mass of ants in our living room right by the stereo. I can't even walk by there without quietly moaning. I bribed my kids MONEY to clean it up. Even that was a no go.

Rich was all like, 'You bribed the kids?'

'Damn straight I bribed the kids. And what happened to our promise that you will always take care of me? This is part if that deal. Ants are part of the deal. Do you hear me? ANT ARE PART OF THE DEAL!' At this point I am hysterical.

'No Krysta, they are not.' Rich is calmly trying to talk me down down from the ledge which simultaneously pisses me off and makes me even more hysterical. Only husbands can do that... well, kids too but that's a topic for another day.

"Well, I want to add an amendment to our deal. Ant killing, ant clean up, ant detail is up to you now or I quit' Moving closer to the ledge, hasn't he learned that you can't reason with crazy?

'Call Orkin tomorrow.'

Damn straight we are calling Orkin. A crazy hysterical woman with a can of Raid in her hands and threatening divorce will win every. single. time.

chickpeas in spicy tomato gravy (masaledar cholay): food & wine march 2011

* i had jalapenos on steroids (super spicy) so test yours out before you cook with them and adjust accordingly to your comfort level of spiciness.

serve with yogurt, naan, and jasmine rice

8 garlic cloves, chopped
2 jalapenos, chopped
One 2-inch piece of fresh ginger, peeled and chopped
1/4 cup vegetable oil
3 onions, cut into 1/4-inch dice
2 tablespoons ground cumin
1 tablespoon ground coriander
3/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 1/2 cups canned crushed tomatoes
two 15-ounce cans chickpeas, drained and rinsed (i prefer progresso)
2 cups water
salt
2 tablespoons cilantro leaves

In a mini food processor, combine the garlic, jalapeños and ginger and process to a paste. In a large nonstick skillet, heat the oil. Add the onions and cook over moderately high heat until sizzling, about 3 minutes. Reduce the heat to moderate and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onions are browned, about 7 minutes. Add the garlic paste and cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 2 minutes. Add the cumin, coriander and cayenne and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add the tomatoes and simmer over moderate heat until thickened, about 6 minutes. Add the chickpeas and water and simmer until the chickpeas are flavored with the gravy, about 8 minutes. Season the chickpeas with salt, garnish with the cilantro and serve.

buttery shortbread

2011-03-28T17:18:00.000-07:00

I don't know how you feel about molecular gastronomy, 10 course meals of fancy food, or even cooking like that or for that matter highly stylized food photography. Me? If someone offered me a meal at Alinea or NOMA, wanted to give me some cooking lessons in how to sous vide, or lessons in how to take fancy pictures I wouldn't say no but in the end I am pretty sure that my photos and my food would revert back to pretty much like my personality, 'This is who I am take it or leave it.'

(there is always a but)

But these cookies, these cookies make me want to shoot pictures outside on a rustic picnic table sprinkled with tiny flowers, pastel linens, fancy china, white lace table clothes, beautiful antique crystal flutes fizzy with champagne, maybe some green glass jelly jars filled with ice water with thin slices of lemon and cucumber, models wearing Lily Pulitzer dresses and lord knows what else.

These cookies will make you fantasize about pretty stuff.

Roll your eyes now, it's ok, trust me I understand. I read that last part and gagged a little bit also. If the queen came today. I'd serve her these cookies. Easy, elegant, the word lovely popped into my head after the first bite. Roll your eyes again but if someone comes by and slaps you on the back and your eyes stay that way, it's not my fault.

a couple of notes:

this dough is super easy to work with just make sure to keep a flour beside you to use on the rolling pin, cutting board, and to dip your cookie cutter in between cutting the dough into shapes.

i have made a few batches using different shapes. i would recommend using a circular fluted cookie cutter (that particular cookie cutter held the best shape)

rebecca from foodie with family swears by a scottish old lady's substitution of 1/2 all-purpose flour and 1/2 rice flour. it will give the cookies a very delicate flavor and crumb.

you could also try:

dipping half of the cookie into some dark chocolate
little thyme or rosemary into the dough, finely minced
substituting different citrus zest in place of lemon
a little almond extract instead of vanilla
lavender sugar, if you are into that sort of thing
lemon sugar
candied citrus peel

i haven't tried any of the substitutions or add-ons because i was kind of scared of messing with the recipe not because i was afraid to ruin it but because i was afraid of if i started messing around with the recipe it would morph into something entirely different.

[this is as pretty as it's going to get]

buttery shortbread: sarabeth's bakery from my home to yours
make about 2 dozen

2 sticks unsalted butter at room temperature, cut into 1/2 inch cubes
1/2 cup superfine sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
zest of 1/2 lemon
2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1/8 teaspoon fine sea salt
1/2 cup granulated sugar, for sprinkling

preheat oven to 350. position racks in center and top third of oven. line two cookie sheets w/ parchment paper.

beat butter in stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment on med. high speed until butter is smooth, about a minute. gradually add the superfine sugar, then the vanilla and lemon zest, mixing until light in color and texture, about 3 min. reduce speed to low. in thirds add flour and salt. mix, scraping down the sides of bowl until well combined, until dough cleans the sides of the bowl.

place dough on lightly floured work surface and knead briefly until smooth. dust work surface and dough with flour. roll out dough into a 1/4 inch thick rectangle.

using a 2 1/2 inch round fluted cookie cutter, cut out the cookies, and place them 1 inch apart on cookie sheets. gather scraps , roll out and do the same thing until all dough has been used. place cookies in fridge and let them chillax (if cookies have to rest and chill in the fridge they must be chillaxing) for 30 minutes.

bake, switching the position of the pans from top to bottom and front to back halfway through baking, until cookies and very lightly browned, about 15 minutes. remove from oven and immediately sprinkle cookies with gran. sugar. cool completely on the pans.

bacon and date scones

2011-03-25T11:27:00.000-07:00

[tuesday's lunch. spinach strawberry salad and scones]

My body and brain are in cahoots, more so than usual. I mean they function well together but right now they are on strike against me. I'm fine, perfectly healthy but I took these two to Hawaii and now they are really angry at me.

I took them someplace warm and let them rest, stretch out and get some sleep, bask in the warmth and humidity. My brain and body were so happy and then I took them home to cold, rain (it's like build an ark rain), and wind. They revolted against me and shut down.

My brain sneered, 'You wanna write? Go ahead, try it. I DARE YOU.'

My body mocked, 'You took me to a warm place and then had the nerve to come back to the cold. For that you'll never be warm again.'

Commence evil laughter.

If I could have left them I might have and just brought them a t-shirt that says, 'My parents went to Hawaii without me and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!'

It would have served them right.

Anyways... that is my lousy excuse from withholding this recipe from you. I feel guilty because you really need to bake these this weekend. Warm scones with chewy sweet dates and crispy salty bacon folded into the batter will make your brain explode from pleasure.

Ok... I want to be clear my scones look rustic compared to these or these and yes, I cut mine into wedges. I have gotten flak about this before, I think USA yuckiness were the words used. Look... I've never been to England, Ireland, or my homeland of Scotland. I have never has a proper scone, so please. please, please do not send me an email about how these are NOT traditional or how I am doing it wrong. The recipe said cut into wedges, I cut it into wedges. Make them first then email me.

Another note: something I learned from orangette and her book a homemade life... never knead the dough more that 12 times. That's it. If there is still streaks of flour, don't worry about it.

bacon and date scones: bon appetit march 2011
makes 8

10 ounces thick-cut bacon slices
2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon coarse kosher salt
3/4 coarsely chopped pitted medjool dates
1/2 cup(1 stick) chilled unsalted butter
2/3 cup buttermilk
raw sugar

Preheat oven to 400°F. Line baking sheet with parchment paper. Cook bacon in heavy large skillet over medium heat until cooked through but still tender and not crisp, turning occasionally. Transfer bacon to paper towels to drain; cool. Pour bacon drippings from skillet into small heatproof bowl and reserve.

Whisk flour, 1/2 cup sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in large bowl. Coarsely chop cooled bacon. Add bacon and dates to flour mixture; toss to coat. Coarsely grate butter into flour mixture. Using fork, stir in butter. Add buttermilk; stir until large moist clumps form. Using hands, knead mixture briefly in bowl until dough forms.

Transfer dough to floured work surface. Pat into 8-inch round. Cut into 8 wedges. Transfer scones to sheet. (Cover and chill scones 2 hours. I skipped this part and my scones were wonderful but if you feel you the need to chill by all means chill. ) Brush with reserved bacon drippings. Sprinkle with raw sugar.

Bake scones until golden brown and tester inserted into center of scones comes out clean, 16 to 18 minutes. Serve warm or at room temperature.

A little note: One of the perks of writing a food blog or even just telling someone you love, love, love food is that people are willing to share just because they can. So I wanted to give a big shout out to the wonderful person who gave me a box of dates from Tunisia.

:::

Are you sick of me posting pictures of Kauai, yet?

No? Really, are you sure?

Ok.

This is one of my favorites of Ke'e beach.

Mother Nature decided to pull out all the stops this trip. Earthquakes, tsunami, pods of humpback whales and even a Hawaiian monk seal.

kauai, hawaii

2011-03-20T17:11:00.000-07:00

pu'u o kila lookout [view large]

*click on the view large link to see full size pictures on flickr

hawaii.

i'm sitting here watching the cursor button blink over and over at me, accusing me, 'hey lady! you gonna post something or what?'

i could talk about being evacuated from our hotel at the end of the road on a beach way on the north side of kauai during the tsunami but then i finally watched some footage on tv saturday night (11 days after the tsunami took place, our resort had no televisions) and that really left me fumbling for words.

ke'e beach [view large]

i guess what i am really feeling like is that friend we all had in elementary school. the one during halloween who would never ever share their candy or even trade you a piece. that one who had the cool hello kitty erasers and the scratch 'n sniff stickers and wouldn't let you touch the erasers or scratch 'n sniff the stickers because you would wear out the scent. i'm feeling a little greedy and want to hoard all my memories for a little while longer. take the time to examine all the facets... make sure they all belong to me and if i tell you about it that the magic won't evaporate or somehow water down the memories i do have.

waimea canyon state park [view large]

though i can share with you...

that on the plane ride there we sat through some particularly rough turbulence, people were praying and white knuckling their armrests, flight attendants were told to strap down tight too, the seat-hog who invaded my bubble by elbowing me in the ribs the whole flight was praying next to me in hindi while also trying to comfort his wailing baby and a very cool chatty 5 year old. let's put it this way the airline gods looked kindly on my best behavior and patience during the flight to kauai and granted me an open seat next to me on the way back so i could stretch out and enjoy the flight back in peace. sweet.

more that one person asked if we were on our honeymoon.

an older local gentleman corrected me when i said hello. he said, 'no, no, no, you say aloha.' i was thinking, 'dude, i come from stockton where just looking at someone funny could get you shot. you are lucky i am even saying hello.'

hawaii quieted my monkey mind which then let me sleep for 10 hours every night. solid sleep, no train whistles, no gun shots, no police sirens, medi-flights, traffic, or to-do lists to wake me up. just one rooster who couldn't get his cockadoodle-doo right. he could get the first part right then instead of the last night note high and long he sounded like someone strangled him and cut him off. cockadoodle-dogrrrrmph.

on the road [view large]

that even two days after i came back i still smelled like hawaii. i love that somehow that my vacation seeped into my pores and that i was able to carry it around for a few extra days.

i love that i missed my kids. i needed to miss them.

that next time i go to hawaii, i will bring my knife kit so i can cook. i missed cooking.

my skin didn't itch or breakout and the redness in my face disappeared. between that, the sleep, and the quieting of the monkey mind was the way my body screamed thank you for going on a vacation.

cocoa brownies with browned butter and walnuts

2011-03-01T19:14:00.000-08:00

Ok, so Bon Appetit says that these are BEST-EVER BROWNIES Warning: You Will Eat The Entire Tray. I mean they put it right there on the front of the February 2011 cover. I think you better be damn sure these are good brownies to make that kind of claim on the front of a magazine unless you are Life and Style magazine and you put whatever you want on the cover... true or not.

Here's my deal, I think some mathematician should come up with a formula for recipes. Something like:

ease of the recipe [squared] + number of ingredients - the number of dishes dirtied x by the actual outcome of said recipe = said recipe greatness

In this case, yes, this recipe is one of the best ever.

But are they the best best ever? In my opinion... it's a tie for second place. (sorry but ad hoc's brownies with caramel sauce kick ass so therefore take first place every time) I mean these cocoa brownies are good, they have that crackly top and are fudgy and chewy everything I look for in a brownie. And because of the mathematical formula above. I think I used the pot to cook the butter in, a spoon to stir the brownie mix, and the pan to bake it in (which didn't even get dirty because it was covered in foil) Also these are so easy, I have made them four times since I this Bon Appetit appeared in my mailbox.

So that counts for something.

cocoa brownies with browned butter and walnuts: bon appetit february 2011

makes 9-16 brownies (it really depends on how you cut them)

*also these are highly adaptable, i have made them with hershey's special dark cocoa, without walnuts, a half and half combo of dutch processed and regular natural cocoa, i have threw in a couple teaspoons of instant espresso powder and i haven't made a bad batch yet. though if i had one complaint about this recipe is that it doesn't make enough brownies and they are a little on the thin side if you like you brownies thick.

nonstick vegetable oil spray
10 tablespoons (1 1/4 sticks) unsalted butter, cut into 1-inch pieces (5 ounces or 141.747616 grams) other than that, here is a conversion chart
1 1/4 cups sugar
3/4 cup natural unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large eggs, chilled
1/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon unbleached all purpose flour
1 cup walnut pieces

Position rack in bottom third of oven; preheat to 325°F. Line 8x8x2-inch metal baking pan with foil, pressing foil firmly against pan sides and leaving 2-inch overhang. Coat foil with nonstick spray. Melt butter in medium saucepan over medium heat. Continue cooking until butter stops foaming and browned bits form at bottom of pan, stirring often, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat; immediately add sugar, cocoa, 2 teaspoons water, vanilla, and 1/4 teaspoon (generous) salt. Stir to blend. Let cool 5 minutes (mixture will still be hot). Add eggs to hot mixture 1 at a time, beating vigorously to blend after each addition. When mixture looks thick and shiny, add flour and stir until blended. Beat vigorously 60 strokes. Stir in nuts. Transfer batter to prepared pan.

Bake brownies until toothpick inserted into center comes out almost clean (with a few moist crumbs attached), about 25 minutes. Cool in pan on rack. Using foil overhang, lift brownies from pan.

:::

here are two of my favorite brownie recipes on ecm:

ad hoc brownies with caramel sauce
outrageous brownies from the barefoot contessa

Since I stated this blog in 2007, I have now featured 7 brownie recipes. That's insane, I am starting to feel like I am searching for the Holy Grail of brownie recipes.

kiwi caipirinha

2011-02-25T11:48:00.000-08:00

*I'm not sure if everyone has ever read 'If You Give a Moose a Muffin' but the whole premise of the story is a child will give a moose a muffin then the moose will want jam to go with it and that will let to other things... hilarity and calamity ensue and it all leads back to the moose wanting a muffin.

Last night, I laid out this post, typed the recipe, and saved it because I wasn't really sure what kind of story I wanted to tell.

Around 4 AM I woke up from a deep sleep and staggered to the bathroom like a drunken soldier on a 2 day leave to an island of debauchery where all there are is dive-bars and loose women with questionable morals (there was no drinking involved for me though, I just don't wake up well). After dealing with a weak bladder, I wobble back to bed in the dark half asleep and I run into the door jamb and stub my pinkie toe. Which then makes me bite my hand to keep from sounding like Yosemite Sam and waking up the whole family. I collapse into bed and find out my little piggy toe hurts so much I can't even place a blanket over my feet. Which makes me cold because my foot has to hang over the edge of the bed and that means I can't sleep. Then I start thinking about what I need to post and that stresses me out that now I can't sleep. I am cold, in pain, and thinking about what I need to write.

I finally drift off for an hour or so and stumble into the daylight and my toe is black. I have an idea!

'Hey kids! Wanna see something gross?'

I show them my toe. Nancy looks like she threw up a little in her mouth. The boys groan.

'What happened?'

'You guys are what happened. I had kids, which weakened my bladder, which makes me have to go to the bathroom at night, which then made me stub my toe, that then turned black. Which hurt so bad I couldn't sleep because I had to hang my toe over the edge of the bed. That got me to thinking about my blog and a post I needed to write, which made my mind go a million miles an hour which kept me awake. So just to let you know... this is all your fault.'

Then I dropped them off at school, got out of the car in front of my house and stepped into a puddle in flip flops because I had to wear flip flops because my toe is black and hurts because I stubbed my toe going to the bathroom in the middle of the night because my bladder is weak because I had kids... and decided to write about it.

kiwi caipirinha: sunset magazine february 2011

serves 2

1 lime, cut into chunks
2 tablespoons sugar
2 kiwi fruits, peeled and sliced, plus slices for garnish
1/2 cup cachaca*

Combine lime, sugar, and slices from the two kiwi fruits in a cocktail shaker. Using the handle of a wooden spoon, smash fruit to extract juices. Add about 2 cups ice and the cachaca. Shake to blend well, then divide contents, including ice, between 2 glasses. Garnish with kiwi and a sprig of mint.

cachaca is a brazilian sugar-cane liquor. i can normally find this at bev-mo.

spicy dill popcorn

2011-02-22T12:52:00.000-08:00

'I married you because you were funny now I just think you have ADHD.' Rich said to me Valentine's Day.

"Squirrel!' was my response which made him laugh like Muttley.

:::

Sigh... my husband. He's so romantic. I think he has a point... here I am sitting at the computer the cursor blinking at an empty screen, trying to come up with anything for a post.

I should be doing:

- laundry
- cleaning the house
- getting ready for our long awaited 16 years after the fact honeymoon
- responding to some emails

Instead I am:

-pondering how surreal it was to meet Miss California and the two clowns that were following her around the Palo Alto VA hospital. Why didn't I bring my camera? And isn't a little creepy to have clowns at an adult hospital?
- watching this on youtube
- chatting on facebook,
- buying shoes for a wedding
- fixing files on iTunes
- reading this (made me happy) and this (reminded me of a bourne movie)
- processing and posting photos and munching on popcorn
- drinking way too much tea in this mug

Do you see that? It has a little cutout to wrap your tea bag string around. Ingenious, Brilliant, Faaaaabulous!

:::

:::

Long story short... Last November, I invited myself to go with Amy from Very Culinary to meet Marcus Samuelsson at a cooking demo and signing he was doing in San Francisco. He was gracious, funny, and everything awesome... sweeter than the most perfect honey could ever be.

Also... shhh don't tell anyone... he quizzed the audience about how they made their Thanksgiving turkeys and when I told him what I do (other than bagging on the size of my turkey but whatever (eyeroll)... you feed 20-25 people and have one oven and do not have access to a professional kitchen... you'd use a big turkey too. it's my defense and I'm sticking to it) he said I know how to cook... or my technique was good... or that I knew what I was doing. I forget the exact words because I couldn't believe that came out of his mouth. I blushed, my ears started ringing, I might have even swooned a little.

Later on while he was signing books, he took time to talk to everyone and answered questions. He asked me where I learned how to cook, how long I had been cooking. No, I didn't mention my blog... I can imagine all the chefs who hear about people's blogs all the time. How we think we all are chefs, foodies, and whatnot. I am so not even in his ballpark and I know it. He's major leagues and I'm still playing t-ball. Anyways, I was tongue-tied but secretly thrilled.

spicy dill popcorn: new american table by marcus samuelsson

makes 4 quarts

3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 cup popcorn kernels
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter melted
1 teaspoon mild chili powder
1/4 cup chopped dill
1/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Pour vegetable oil into a large dutch oven and coat the bottom. Add popcorn kernels and cover. Place the pan on medium high heat,

The kernels will heat up and start to pop. Shaking the pan often to prevent burning, allow kernels to cook until popping starts to slow down to 2-3 seconds between pops.

When the popping has stopped and kernels have all popped, remove pan from heat. Transfer the popcorn to a bowl and while still hot add the butter, salt, chili powder, dill, and cheddar cheese. Toss to combine.

Tasting notes:

First: Serve with beer... so tasty.

Second: Dill and popcorn are cousins of the peanut butter chocolate combo. It works so well together.

Third: Addictive.

Okay, so this isn't that spicy but I wouldn't add a hotter chili powder because it would overwhelm the dill and cheddar flavor.

cinnamon-streusel coffee cake

2011-02-16T17:19:00.000-08:00

How Not To Be A Parent.
Episode 153.
The Brush Incident

I blame Katie. She made it being a parent to a teenager easy. She figured out early on that she was an awful liar and copping to the truth would normally disarm us as parents so much that we would go, 'Okay, don't do it again. [insert punishment here]' End of story, no hysterics.

But she left for college and the others appeared.

Disclaimer: My kids are good kids. Good grades, they volunteer, they are nice to little old ladies on the street, they don't come home drunk, not pregnant at 17 (knock on lots of wood). In other words waaaaaaay better than me and my siblings. So far I am not raising homicidal maniacs but they might be turning me into one.

Teenager-dom has hit my house like a freaking tornado. 3 teenagers in one house. Moody, no eye contact, lots of stomping, even more grunting. Good times.

Anyways, the brush incident.

I go to bed on a Saturday night after doing my nightly bathroom routine. Last thing I do is brush my hair and place the brush in the bathroom cabinet. So far so good.

I wake up Sunday morning, read the paper, have some tea, eat breakfast,check facebook and then go take a shower.

I am about to do my hair and sitting in the bathroom cabinet is the brush.

With the handle snapped off.

Huh, strange. When I put in the bathroom cabinet it was in one piece.... now not so much.

I go out and ask Drew, Will, and Nancy who are all lying around the couch enjoying their lazy Sunday morning.

'Hey, anyone know what happened to the brush?'

'I didn't do it. ' said all three at once.

Now mind you this is a cheap ass brush from Target. It's not made of unicorn eyelashes hand crafted by elves but the first thing out of my kids mouths is 'I didn't do it.' and that sets me off. All I want to hear is, 'Yeah Mom, I used the brush and the handle snapped off. Sorry, I didn't tell you.'

After I tell them that, I ask again, 'Dude, just tell me who did it. No one is in trouble. It was fine last night, now it's broke.'

I break out the dude as a partial plea, partial 'hey look I am one of you'. Even though no one but me stuck in the late 80's says dude.

Silence then...

'Not me.' Again from all three.

'Okay, so the not me ghost did it? Well... now everyone is in trouble. BECAUSE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS THE NOT ME GHOST!'

And here's where I pull the one peer pressure trick up every parents sleeve...

'All of you are in trouble until someone tells me who broke the damn brush. Go to your rooms. No facebook, no x-box, no video games. Nothing.'

The one tactic that never ever works.

At this point it's all about who's more stubborn. Me or them. It's also the point of the matter. It's a stupid brush and I know the not me ghost didn't break it.

It also doesn't help that I am PMS-ing. Parenting teenagers and PMS-ing should never be allowed together in the same room. It's WWF cage fight to the death. It's only going to get ugly.

6 hours later.

No one has confessed and we are now due to go to my two sister's joint birthday dinner. I don't want to go. This little tiny issue has morphed into a big deal that I want, no, need to win. I am not talking to them when we get into the car. I am not talking to them at the party. I am fuming at this point... over a brush. I know this is ridiculous but I am so mad that this is so ridiculous I am getting madder and madder. It's like the snake that eats it's own tail. There. is. no. end.

I am quietly venting to my sister, Stacey, about how dumb my kids are and how stupid I feel and how did this get to be a bigger issue than it already is. I normally pretty good at picking my battles but not this time.

Drew comes up to me and says, 'I didn't do it Mom but I am going to take the blame.'

In my best Clint Eastwood snarl and channeling Red from That 70's show, I said, 'Stop being a dumbass. Why would you take the blame and then tell me you didn't do it. That makes no sense. Please go away before I get even madder.'

After a few hours at the birthday party my anger simmers down and sorta fades away.

I end up blaming the not me ghost also.

::::

Which really is no way to end a story but sometimes that's what happens.

I feel like an asshat and a little embarrassed over making such a big deal over a small thing but it's now the point of who's lying and who's not. Obviously my parenting skills failed big time and...

I still don't know what happened to the brush.

Grrrrr.

and as the kids would tell me...

EPIC FAIL, MOM, EPIC FAIL.

Again I blame it on Katie. She made it way too easy.

cinnamon-streusel coffee cake: adapted from martha stewart living march 2011

* i made a mistake while reading and making this recipe. the recipe calls for the streusel topping and center to be divided but i for some reason didn't grasp that little part but i think it turned out for the better because i ended up with more streusel and that is [quoting martha] a good thing.

streusel topping:

1 3/4 cups all purpose flour
1 cup packed light brown sugar
1 1/4 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 1/2 sticks of cold unsalted butter, cut into pieces
1 1/2 cups coarsely chopped pecans

streusel center:

1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 heaping teaspoon cinnamon
1 cup chopped pecans

cake:

1 stick unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for the pan
2 cups all purpose flour
1 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup sour cream

glaze:

1 cup confectioners sugar
2 tablespoons whole milk

Make the streusel topping: Mix together flour, sugar, cinnamon, and salt, Cut in butter using your fingers until small to medium clumps form. Mix in pecans. Refrigerate until ready to use.

Make the streusel center: Mix together brown sugar, cinnamon and pecans together. Set aside.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Make the cake: Butter a 9 inch tube pan with removable bottom. Sift flour, baking powder, baking soda, and 1/2 teaspoon salt into a bowl.

Beat the butter and sugar with a mixer with a paddle attachment, until pale and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Beat in eggs, 1 at a time, then vanilla. Beat in flour mixture in 3 additions, alternating with sour cream, beginning and ending with the flour mixture. Continue to beat until well combined.

Spoon half the batter into the pan. Sprinkle streusel-center mixture evenly over the batter. Top with remaining batter, and spread evenly using an offset spatula. Sprinkle streusel-topping mixture evenly over batter.

Bake until cake is golden brown and toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, about 55 minutes. Transfer pan to a wire rack and let cool completely. Remove cake from pan and transfer to parchment.

Make the glaze: Mix together confectioners sugar and milk. Drizzle over cake and let drip down sides. Let set for 5 minutes before serving.

churrios

2011-02-10T09:17:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone, I'd like to take a moment and introduce you to the Churrio. No, it's not a misspelling. This handsome fun loving gentleman is named Churrio. I'd like to tell you how we met cute.

I went to the grocery store the other day and while gathering a few items and the end of the aisle with all the new products there he was. Golden, flavored with real cinnamon and with 20% of my daily value of fiber. (if that doesn't say sexy, what does?) He asked if I would take him home. I giggled... a lot. I think I even flipped my hair.

The next thing I know he was in my kitchen and I was saying to him, 'You know what? You taste just like a churro!'

So the wheels started turning and with the help (and prodding) from Rebecca I came up with churrios. A Cheerios snack bar made with caramel and drizzled with mexican chocolate. A play off of a churro filled with caramel and a chocolate dipping sauce.

churrios:

4 cups of Cinnamon Burst Cheerios
33 pieces of caramel (i used the caramels wrapped in cellophane from Kraft)
3 tablespoons of heavy cream

Grease an 8x8 pan with either butter or non-stick spray. Pour Cherrios into a large bowl, set aside. Place the unwrapped caramels and cream in a medium saucepan, on low heat. Stir until melted and there are no lumps in the caramel sauce. Pour immediately into the bowl of Cherrios. Working quickly, stir the caramel into the Cheerios until thoroughly combined. Pour Cheerio mixture in the prepared pan and pressing gently to make sure the mixture is compact and even. Let cool. Drizzle with chocolate. Cool for an hour then cut into squares.

chocolate drizzle:

2 ounces of mexican chocolate

Place chocolate into a microwave safe bowl. Microwave uncovered for 30 seconds at a time, until chocolate is soft enough to stir smooth. While chocolate is still warm drizzle over the churrios.

blood orange olive oil cake

2011-02-09T11:47:00.000-08:00

recipe and explanation of why this recipe is not posted on my site is on the evil chef mom facebook page. go there and check it out.

chicken vindaloo

2011-02-02T12:13:00.000-08:00

I should have also added it doesn't make you house stink for days... but I will leave that for you to find out on your own.

Anyways... my friend Melissa said this about her tikka masala.

"Every time I made it, I spent the following morning at work anxious and fidgety waiting for lunchtime to draw near so I could inhale the leftovers. So good. I could use all the adjectives in my arsenal, but instead, I'll simply suggest you try it for yourself. PLEASE."

Truer words were never spoken because I feel the same way about this dish... and I will leave it at that.

chicken vindaloo: adapted from fine cooking and chaos in the kitchen.

remember you adjust the spices to your liking. I like spicy so spicy is what I made. If you don't care for spicy use mild curry powder and use more paprika instead of cayenne. I served this with jasmine rice spiked with sesame and mustard seeds. And you have to have naan to mop up the extra sauce!

1-1/2 tablespoons of hot curry powder
1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon of ground cumin
1 teaspoon of ground mustard
1/4 teaspoon ground cardamom
freshly ground black pepper
1-1/2 lb. boneless, skinless chicken thighs, trimmed and cut into 3/4- to 1-inch pieces
8 medium cloves garlic, minced
4 tablespoons red wine vinegar
kosher salt
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 medium yellow onion, thinly sliced
1 Tbs. grated fresh ginger
1 (14-1/2-oz). can crushed tomatoes
3 Tbs. chopped fresh cilantro

In a small bowl, stir the curry powder, cayenne, paprika, cumin, mustard, cardamom, and 3/4 teaspoon of black pepper. Put the chicken in a medium nonreactive bowl, sprinkle with a little more than 1 tablespoon of the curry powder mixture, about half of the garlic, 2 tablespoons of the vinegar, and 3/4 teaspoon salt; toss to coat. Set aside at room temperature.

Heat the oil in a 10- to 11-inch straight-sided saute pan over high heat until shimmering. Add the onion and ¼ teaspoon of salt and cook, stirring occasionally with a wooden spoon, until it softens and begins to brown around the edges, 4 to 5 minutes. Reduce the heat to medium high, add the ginger, the remaining garlic, and the remaining curry powder mixture and cook, stirring, until fragrant and well combined, about 45 seconds.

Add the tomatoes and mix to combine, scraping the bottom of the pan with the spoon. Stir in the chicken, the remaining 2 tablespoons vinegar, and 2/3 cup water. Bring to a boil, cover partially, reduce the heat to medium, and simmer, stirring occasionally, until the chicken is tender and cooked through, 15 to 20 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Serve sprinkled with the cilantro.

winner!

2011-02-02T09:52:00.000-08:00

We have a winner! Joanna from Down Home Girl Cooks won a copy of Good to the Grain by Kim Boyce. Joyce, if can email me at krysta [@] evilchefmom [.] com with all your information I can send you your copy... post haste!

Also give her some blog love. She just started a blog and she's a English middle school teacher and she's Southern and a huge reader! Everything I love in life.

super bowl snacks

2011-01-31T10:35:00.000-08:00

A little story you might enjoy before I give you a round up of a few Super Bowl recipes for the big day.

I don't gamble very often. I was always taught that you better have the money if you place a bet, even if it's with your own husband. I think it's too many mobster movies I watched as a kid but I don't want my kneecaps busted or anything. So when the Steelers played in the Super Bowl in 2005 against the Seahawks, Rich was all the Steelers are not going to win. He kept on and on about how the Steelers were going to lose and even though I am a 49'er fan I was all, 'I'm pretty sure the Steelers are going to win." He kept harping and harping asking me if I wanted to put my money where my mouth was. To get him to shut up I said...

'Fine, what do you want to bet?'

'A soda.' He tells me.

'You've got to be kidding me. A soda? You aren't so confident the Seahawks are going to win, are you?' I told him.

'Why you got something better?'

'A car. I want a new car if they win. I get to pick. Brand. Color. V-8.' I figured we were getting a car soon anyways might as well go big or go home.

'Within reason. Let's shake on it.'

We did. I won. I got a car... within reason.

I guess you can figure where my loyalties lie again this Super Bowl. Maybe I can win something again.

Go Steelers!

cheese fritters with balsamic sun-dried tomato dipping sauce: let's just say this beats tgimcfuglie's cheese sticks any day.

baked caramelized onion dip: Cheesy, warm, awesome. Especially if you are nice enough to serve this to your guests in individual ramekins.

bacon wrapped dates: I like to call these crack bombs. Need I say more?

salsa: If I were Emily Post of food blogging and parties, I would declare that it isn't a party unless salsa is involved. I take my salsa quite seriously.

spam musubi: fun and easy.

lamb meatball sandwiches with mint yogurt sauce: I know this sounds like chick food but the dudes will love it.

blue ribbon chicken wings w/ homemade hot sauce and blue cheese dipping sauce: so good.

pok pok chicken wings: these are addictive... totally worth the effort and don't let the fish sauce scare you.

char siu glazed pork and pineapple buns: makes a lot and really easy to prepare before hand.

chocolate peanut butter pie: a no bake pie, super easy. who doesn't like chocolate and peanut butter? and it looks and tastes like you slaved away in the kitchen for hours.

chocolate tart with pretzel crust: sweet and salty.

oatmeal sandwich bread -cookbook giveaway-

2011-01-29T13:55:00.000-08:00

About twice a year I get this romantic notion that I am going to bake bread. Which is hilarious because I'm scared of bread... scared of failing. I have baked a lot of bread and it's either dry or the crumb isn't right or it's too heavy like a brick. But a couple times a year I get a bug in my bonnet and want to bake bread.

[cue daydream]

I will be baking in my immaculate kitchen on tiptoe. Singing with the bluebirds that a perched happily on the sunny window sill. Did I also mention I am 5'10" and am at most 125 pounds. Very Disney Princess. My glossy hair swings around perfectly with every movement but never is in my face. My house smells like bread fresh out of the oven.

[reality]

My kitchen is a mess. It's foggy and the birds are afraid of the cat. I am five foot nothing. Not close to 125 pounds. My hair is always in the way and getting grayer by the minute. And bread? Well I can never master the bread part.

Let's see why because there are many reasons I fail and they are my own damn fault.

-I can cook but baking bread is another story. It's like thinking if you do a thousand sit-ups a day for a week you'll have great abs. Baking bread is something you have to do a lot over and over again to get the hang of it. I don't bake bread often but I think each time I do, it will turn out marvelously or that I will have great abs. It's a toss up

-Heat. I keep my house cold in the winter. I'm talking the warmest it gets in my house is 65 degrees. The yeasties do not like cold. They want a nice warm environment. It has taken a lot of failed bread for me to get this one simple truth.

-And last but not least. I hate instructions. Recipe schmecipe. I like to think of a recipes as a very loose guideline. When making bread you need to follow directions and this is where I fail. When I bake bread I need to follow the recipe. The person who wrote it knows what they are doing when it comes to bread and I, the most stubbornest person on the earth, needs to listen, read, and most importantly follow the recipe.

Okay, class is session. Let's bake some bread.

Ingredients first, then recipe instructions under each picture with my notes in italics.

oatmeal sandwich bread: good to the grain by kim boyce

1 pkg active dry yeast
3 tbs unsulphured molasses
2 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
2 cups bread flour
1 cup rolled oats
1/2 stick unsalted butter, melted and cooled
1 tbs kosher salt

Lightly butter a large bowl and a bread loaf pan about 9 by 5 by 3 inches.

Add 2 cups of warm water, yeast, and molasses to the bowl of a standing mixer. Stir and allowing the yeast to bloom for about five minutes, until it begins to bubble.If it doesn't, it may be inactive; throw it out and start over.

Warm water means 105-115 degrees. Too hot and you kill the yeast, too cold and the yeast will not activate.

I also rinse my mixer bowl with warm water on the inside and outside, then dry before placing yeast and water into the bowl. Warm bowl and warm water makes the yeast very happy.

To autolyse, measure the flours oats, and butter into the bowl mixture with yeast mixture and stir together with a wooden spoon cover with a towel and let stand for 30 minutes.

Autolyse means all the ingredients are mixed together except salt and then allowed to rest before kneading. This rest allows the flour time to absorb the water, yielding a wetter dough and a moister bread.

Since my house is cold, here's another tip to get bread dough to rise. I preheat my oven to the lowest temperature (170 degrees) for about five minutes. Then I turn off the oven and place my dough in the warm oven. Make sure not to heat your oven too much or it will kill the yeast also. Anytime the dough had to rest, I placed it in my warm oven.

Attach the bowl and the bread hook to the mixer, add salt, and mix on medium speed for 6 minutes. The dough should slap around the sides without sticking to them. If the dough is sticking at any time during the mixing, add a tablespoon or two of bread flour until the dough comes away from the sides of the bowl. The dough should be soft and supple, slightly tacky, with a beautiful sheeting effect.

My dough was perfect just like the above directions. When I stopped the mixer this sheeting (or what I think she meant by sheeting effect) happened. Then the dough pulled right back into the ball of dough in the bowl.

For the first rise, scrape the dough onto a lightly floured work surface and knead a few times.

When I bake bread i always keep a little pile of flour the upper right hand side of my work surface just in case the dough starts to stick.

Put the dough into the buttered bowl, cover with a towel and leave it to rise for about an hour, or until it's doubled in size.

Again I leave the dough in my warm oven.

How do you tell if it's proofed? Gently push a floured finger into the dough. If it springs back, the dough needs to proof longer. If a dimple remains, move on to the next step.

To shape the dough, scrape the dough onto a lightly floured surface. Press down on the dough, working it toward a square shape while depressing all of the bubbles.

Fold the dough down from the top to the middle, then from the bottom to the middle. Next bring the newly formed top and bottom edges together and pinch the seam in the middle, sealing the seam with your fingers.

Pinch the sides together and roll the shaped dough back and forth, plumping it so that it's evenly formed and about the size of your loaf pan.

Place the dough in the pan with the seam side down and press it gently into the corners of the pan.

For the second rise, cover the dough with a towel and let it rise in a warm place for about an hour, or until the dough rises to half it's size, or puffs up barely, or just over the edge of the pan. While the dough is rising, preheat oven to 400 degrees.

When the dough has finished it's final rise, sprinkle the top of the loaf with oats or bran, if desired.

Bake for about 40 minutes, rotating halfway through. The loaf is ready when the top crust is as dark as molasses and the bottom crust is dark brown. To see if the bread is ready, give the loaf a thump to see if it sounds hollow. If the hollow sound isn't there and the bread isn't dark enough, bake for another 5 minutes. Remove the loaf from the pan and cool on a baking rack, preferably for a few hours, so the crumb doesn't collapse when you cut into it and the flavor can develop.

Tasting notes: I was thrilled with this bread. Slightly sweet, moist and bakery worthy. When and if my kids ever leave the house permanently, I will stop buying bread and make this my house loaf.

:::

Here are some other recipes that I lay out step by step... perfect french fries, tiramisu, gnocchi, pecan pie, cranberry streusel bars, brownies with caramel sauce, spam musubi, and dill pull apart rolls.

:::

Still here? Good. I was so happy the way that this bread turned out. I felt like a champ so I thought I'd spread the love. Want to win a copy of Good to The Grain? Leave as many comments here as you like or go click the like button on evil chef mom's facebook page and leave a comment there. Already a fan? You can leave a comment there as well. Winners will be announced Tuesday February 1st 2011.

gianduja gelato

2011-01-26T10:43:00.000-08:00

Making his first batch of gelato. (pretentious ice cream)

This was my cousin's facebook status the day after he received an ice cream maker for Christmas. I disagree but I still thought it was funny. Poor gelato, I think it has an identity problem because it's Italian, it just sounds high maintenance.

To me ice cream is the DIVA at the Oscars, hair and make-up done to perfection, dripping in Harry Winston diamonds. Polished, air brushed, photoshopped into a high glossiness. All puffed up.There is a lot going on all of it good in tiny bits but sometimes it can get to be a little much.

Now gelato on the other hand... Naturally sexy, not too much make-up, casual, someone who makes jeans and a t-shirt look like couture. Someone you want to hang out with. Preferably on the beach at sunset with a cocktail in your hand.

Why is that? Gelato is different from ice cream because it normally contains less butterfat and sugar content than ice cream. Gelato is made in smaller batches unlike commercial ice cream that is made in big batch freezes which incorporate more air into the ice cream. So with gelato you get a dense, more true flavor because there is less butterfat and sugar. How is that pretentious?

Gianduja is an Italian chocolate made with chocolate and hazelnuts, you probably know it as Nutella. But this is as far from Nutella family tree as you can get. Think of it as it's more refined but not pretentious third cousin by marriage cousin. Ok this is where I have a hard time describing the flavor but go with me here... Remember eating Coco Puffs as a kid and the best part was the chocolaty milk at the bottom of the bowl? It tastes kind of like that. Sweet, chocolaty, a hint of nuttiness (I detect a little nuttiness alright).

gianduja gelato: the perfect scoop by david lebovitz

makes about 1 quart

1-1/2 cups toasted hazelnuts
1 cup whole milk
2 cups heavy cream
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 tsp coarse salt
4 oz. milk chocolate (at least 30% cacao solids), chopped
5 large egg yolks
1/8 tsp vanilla extract

To toast hazelnuts-place hazelnuts in a 350 degree oven for ten minutes. Stir once while roasting. Remove from oven.

Rub the toasted hazelnuts in a kitchen towel after roasting to remove as much of the papery skin as possible. Discard the skins. Chop the hazelnuts in a food processor or blender until finely chopped.

Warm the milk with 1 cup of the cream, sugar, and salt in a saucepan. Once warm, remove from heat and add the chopped toasted hazelnuts. Cover and let steep for 1-1/2 hours.

Put the milk chocolate pieces in a large bowl. Heat the remaining 1 cup of cream in a medium saucepan until it begins to boil. Pour the cream over the milk chocolate pieces and stir until the chocolate is completely melted and smooth. Set a mesh strainer over the top of the bowl.

Pour the hazelnut-infused milk through a strainer into a medium saucepan. Squeeze the nuts with your hands to etract as much of the flavorful liquid as possible. (that's what she said) Discard the hazelnuts.

Rewarm the halzenut-infused mixture. In a separate bowl, whisk together the egg yolks. If you don’t have a rubber bottomed bowl, place it on a rubber glove or moistened kitchen towel for the next step. Slowly pour the warm hazelnut mixture into the egg yolks, whisking constanly, then scrape the warmed egg yolks back into the saucepan.

Stir the mixture constanly over medium heat with a wooden or heatproof plastic spatula, scraping the bottom as you stir, until the mixture thickens and coats the spatula. Pour the custard through the straner and stir it into the melted milk chocolate. Add the vanilla and stir until cool over an ice bath.

Chill mixture thoroughly in the refrigerator, then freeze in your ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s instructions.

blood orange fennel salad

2011-01-24T09:59:00.000-08:00

I know I have no right to complain about weather. I live in Northern California in an area that doesn't receive snow or below freezing temperatures like all my friends living on the East Coast are experiencing right now. I'm lucky but man this fucking fog is killing me this year. You'd curse too after a month and a half of this crap.

[see the above picture? that's at 7:30 AM! the street lights are still on and you can only see halfway down the block]

Ready class for a weather lesson?

San Joaquin and Sacramento Valley is located smack dab in the center of deep bowl on the east is the Sierra Nevada Mountain Range and west to us is the California Coastal Ranges. Which gives us our own little meteorological phenomenon called Tule Fog. Think The Mist without the creatures and crazy religious overtones. Though after over a month and half of this don't put it past anyone to go a little nuts. The whole valley seems to suffer Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Anyways, we get more foggy overcast days than sunny days. The fog sticks... there is a reason it's called pea soup. The damp creeps into your house, into your bones and never goes away. It presses down on you. This year it seems particularly bad. Normally I enjoy the fog. I can breathe really well, sounds are muffled like you live in a big ol' cotton ball and the world looks like it has a really pretty soft blurry filter on it.

But this year not so much.

[this is straight out of the camera in the morning!]

[same day two hours later. view out of katie's dorm room window approximately 60 miles away. look auntie em, there is a sun. it's not a fairy tale]

Every year around this time I start craving this salad. Not because I need to slim down from the holiday binge session or that my pants are a little tight or that I made a resolution to eat healthier this year. I eat this salad to combat the blues, the cold weather and the fog.

Bright, sunny, happy, crunchy, hopeful salad. Something to remind me that Spring will be here soon.

This is a no recipe recipe. Mix and match, improvise.

blood orange fennel salad:

1 blood orange, peeled and segmented
1 cara cara orange, peeled and segmented
1 pink grapefruit, peeled and segmented
1 small fennel bulb, washed and thinly sliced
1 avocado, peeled and sliced into bite sized chunks
arugula, washed and dried (spinach also works well)

a simple slurry dressing of olive oil, vinegar, salt and pepper.

Place all the ingredients into a bowl. Toss with enough salad dressing to just coat the arugula. Eat and enjoy.

spam musubi a.k.a spam sushi

2011-01-19T10:06:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone. Today's post is brought to you by the letter K. Katie, the eldest, is was home from Mills College for winter break and swore up and down that we HAD, had, had to make this. So much so she offered to cook and post, if I took the pictures and now here we are. -Krysta

:::

When I was a kid I wasn’t a picky eater. My Dad would boast to other parents that “I would try anything” “There’s nothing this kid doesn’t like” and “She’s not picky at all.” This was pretty true for the most part. Well at least to his knowledge. I mean there were things that I didn’t particularly care for, like stew, but as the eldest child I would dutifully eat it to show my mom what a great child I was compared to the three twits who were ignoring their stew and who didn’t seem to care that if they didn’t eat the stew they weren’t going to get a biscuit and would go to sleep with their stomaches growling. I wasn’t willing to take that chance. Eventually all of the dutiful stew eating allowed me to have my biscuit with my stew and not after. A reward for not being a picky eater.

Now this continued even as I got older; my dad took great pride in what a fabulous eater I was. So when I first spent the night at my Iranian friends house he brightly told the parents that they would have no trouble feeding me as I smiled and nodded my head and reiterated that I wasn’t a picky eater at all. Oh no I wasn’t a picky eater at all and I was up all night with the diarrhea to prove it. Ashamed that my stomach couldn’t handle the spicy vomit next to my head and a lot of panicked voices speaking a language I didn’t understand. All of this probably had more to do with the fact that I had eaten extremely spicy Indian food immediately after a soccer game in the heat and less to do with the Persian food they fed me later, but it was still extremely embarrassing. Anyways I don’t think I ever told my Dad about all of that because I knew part of the boasting was to inform others that I wasn’t going to inconvenience them with my eating habits. Little did we know that I was going to inconvenience them in a whole other way, a much worse one.

The point is that food has been a huge part of my life, more particularly liking food, or at least trying to like different foods has been a huge part of my life. It has been a challenge to myself to try foods that I’m not accustomed to. A pretty hilarious one at points. I once spent the entire Thanksgiving afternoon popping green olives into my mouth because I knew I would like them after I got over the initial pucker. One jar of green olives later, I had finally gotten past the scrunching my face up and shuddering and I came to find that I really did like green olives, a rare quality to find in most eleven year olds. Heck, this past Thanksgiving I tried to convince myself that raw cranberries wouldn’t be that bad either. That unfortunately didn’t turn out quite like I planned and I have to say I’m pretty glad that my mum’s phone crashed and the video of me ~~spitting one out~~ consuming one is long gone.

SO, I know that you want to boast about your tastebuds but I don’t think you can unless you try spam sushi. I know what you are thinking and hey I was thinking it too when my friend offered it to me at a party.

Internal dialogue: “SPAM?! Spam. She wants me to eat spam. The shelf stable one? The one that has a whole Save Ferris song devoted to it? Gross... Well maybe it doesn’t look that bad but ew. I can’t believe a Japanese person is handing this to me.. Is this a trick? Hmm she looks pretty serious and now she’s mentioning how her grandpa makes them. Ahhhh what the heck I’ll try it because if I’m going to try spam for the first time its better that its all classed up right?”

And then I asked for the recipe.

You should try it. Remember that rule when you are a kid? The one that says that you aren’t allowed to say you don’t like something unless you try it? Well take that rule and apply it yourself and start making some Spam sushi. It’s being weird isn’t an excuse, and neither is the inclusion of the ingredient spam. I know the weird things you people do *AHEM*

Baconjambaconwithchocolatedriedduckhanginginyourbabiesnursery
gourmeticecreamwthingrdientslikeavacado....

The list goes on and on.

I would like to say that you are all great openminded gastronomes but I won’t know for sure until you try this....

Oh and you know if you want me to try something weird to justify your spam eating just tell me in the comment section because this kid isn’t afraid of anything.

spam musubi... a.k.a. spam sushi

makes approximately 40 pieces

3 cups sushi rice, cooked, cooled and sprinkled with rice vinegar
a can of spam, sliced to your desired thickness
soy sauce
sugar
bowl of water
nori*
furikake*
musabi mold*

*You should be able to find all these products at your local Japanese market (if you are lucky enough to have one located by you) or Amazon.

This all about your taste buds. That's why I didn't give measurements. Experiment and have fun. If you can't have fun with this recipe, I'm not sure you can fun at all.

In a bowl, mix soy sauce and sugar until the sugar dissolves. The amount is really up to you. Do you like it more salty? Add more soy. More sweet? Add more sugar. Try a half cup of each and go from there.

In a frying pan, brown the spam for a minute or two. Add some of the soy sauce-sugar mixture. Cook until crispy on the edges and warmed though. Transfer to plate. Wipe down pan and repeat until all the spam is cooked.

Lay the musabi mold on top of a piece of nori. (Ours was large rectangular musabi mold) Scoop a mound of rice and place in into the mold. Using the musabi rice press, press down hard on the rice so it become flat, even, and compact.

I cannot put emphasis on that. Falling apart musubi is not what you want.

Sprinkle a thin layer of furikake over the rice. Then add the Spam. Then another layer of rice. Again using the rice press, press down on the layers of rice and Spam to make a nice compact rectangle.

Remove the mold by holding the handle down with one hand and using the other to pull the mold upward, unleashing the musubi. Dampen the edge of the nori with water and fold over about a quarter inch or so on the rice to create a seal. Then tightly roll the nori around the rice mold until completely wrapped. Use a little more water to seal the nori. Using a serrated knife slice into pieces.

And there you have it. Easy peasy. Salty, sweet, a little crunchy, addictive.

bacon jam

2011-01-17T06:00:00.000-08:00

Funny thing about the three posts I am planning this week. They seem to be brain busters and taste bud confusers. It wasn't something I necessarily planned. There wasn't a New Year's resolution to challenge my taste buds or expand my horizons when it came to food. It just happened.

Bacon Jam has been around knocking around food blogs for awhile. It has been teasing me, planting a seed, then the idea of making some slowly drifts away. I am pretty sure it drifts away because of the word jam. I see jam and I think canning, sanitizing, boiling water and as Saint Tigerlily calls it THE BOTCH. (no not bitch but botulism, kind of the same thing are they not? it would be a bitch to get the botch.)

Anyways... no matter how great everyone claimed bacon jam tasted, my mind couldn't get over the jam part. I didn't want to do the whole canning thing... even though the recipe never calls for canning equipment. That was my brain buster until Rebecca came to the rescue.

Oh Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca.

Some of you might know Rebecca from her blog, Foodie with Family. I have written about her before. I used to write that she is wise beyond her years, nice, sweet, always there to answer any question you might have, mother to five boys. I take that all back. She's evil. There I said it. She is EVIL. She had been bragging all day about how great her house smelled. She bragged on Facebook. She texted me bragging (would that be braxting?) She IM'd me bragging. She said and I quote, "you'll want to gnaw off your own foot off from the smell."

Ok... that last one? A little disturbing but that's what homeschooling 5 boys will do to you.

But it's the last statement that made me stop in my tracks, check the fridge and cupboards and start cooking.

The power of bacon jam also made us decide to post the same recipe on the same day because you know what? You really need to make this and maybe if we both post together you will get the hint. Maybe you'll join us wearing matching Johnny Depp shirts and those Best Friend heart necklaces that the heart are split and you wear the best and the other wears the friend but ours will say bacon and the other piece will say jam and we will be awesome. Everyone else? Well, they are going to be jelly of our jam.

bacon jam: adapted from martha stewart's everyday food december 2010

(please read the notes at the end of this recipe)

makes 3 cups

1-1/2 pounds sliced bacon, cut into 1-inch pieces
2 medium yellow onions, diced small
3 garlic cloves, smashed and peeled
1/2 cup cider vinegar
1/2 cup packed dark-brown sugar
1/8 cup pure maple syrup
1/8 cup of Lyle's Golden Syrup
3/4 cup brewed coffee

In a large skillet, cook bacon over medium-high, stirring occasionally, until fat is rendered and bacon is lightly browned, about 20 minutes. With a slotted spoon, transfer bacon to paper towels to drain. Pour off all but 1 tablespoon fat from skillet (reserve for another use); add onions and garlic and cook until onions are translucent, about 6 minutes. Add vinegar, brown sugar, maple syrup, golden syrup, and coffee and bring to a boil, stirring and scraping up browned bits from skillet with a wooden spoon, about 2 minutes. Add bacon and stir to combine.

Transfer mixture to a 6-quart slow cooker and cook on high, uncovered, until liquid is syrupy; 3-1/2 to 4 hours. Transfer to a food processor; pulse until coarsely chopped. Let cool, then refrigerate in airtight containers, up to 4 weeks.

:::

Notes:

1. Rebecca doubled her recipe and so should you.

2. Everyone in our house is really sensitive to the taste and smell of maple syrup (it smells like old urine to everyone) The original recipe calls for a 1/4 cup of maple syrup so I cut that down to an 1/8 of a cup and added an 1/8 of Lyle's Golden Syrup.

3. When I make this again I will use Rebecca's method of using a dutch oven rather than a slow cooker. Why? I think using the slow cooker uncovered is unproductive. It seemed to draw out a little too much moisture for my liking. Cook it low and slow.

Tasting Notes: Here's another brain busting taste bud confusing aspect. My kids just looked at me strangely when I said I was making bacon jam. Katie thought it would be a meaty/salty tasting mess. Nancy thought it would be a sweet meaty nasty mess. Will and Drew just went, 'huh'? They were all surprised. It is very nuanced and not at all what they were expecting. It's really hard to describe until you try some for yourself. Try it on toast, with some eggs, maybe waffles, pizza, oatmeal. The possibilities will blow your mind.

chocolate mousse and a cake failure

2011-01-11T11:45:00.000-08:00

This baking disaster was 8 months in the making.

The road to disaster started at last year's birthday dinner. My mom and her husband, Ron, invited me and the kids over for a beautiful meal of beef tenderloin wrapped in bacon and grilled rare. It was one of my top five best meals I have ever eaten. That piece of meat was a thing of beauty. Angels wept.

It was like eating a stick of meat butter.

In the best possible way.

I'm not going to explain myself.

(hmmm.... Meat Butter, a great name for a band)

So good in fact that in the middle of dinner I told them, "We need to have this for Christmas dinner. We need to have a totally over the top, luxurious, calories be damned meal.'

We did. We had roasted peel and eat shrimp with cocktail sauce, stuffed mushrooms, beef tenderloin, potatoes sliced thinly and cooked slowly with an obscene amount of butter and garlic (the texture and taste is similar to this), spinach salad with bacon, blue cheese and a vinaigrette from Bouchon cookbook, and this bread. Dessert was lemon tart from the Bouchon cookbook, cheesecake, and a chocolate mousse layer cake.

And that's where things went wrong.

I spent all Christmas Eve day baking, piecing together, sweating over a cake. This was after I had spent the whole week baking cookies, treats, and going through about 15 pounds (more like 20 pounds after rereading this) of chocolate for truffles. I thought everything was going well. The mousse was great which was the main component I felt that I was going to have issues with. I thought after I made the mousse and it turned out well everything else would be a piece of cake.

Piece of cake... my ass.

Snort.

I made the cake. Doubled the recipe because I wanted to make two cakes 'just in case'. Batter tasted fine almost like chocolate pudding.

Baked the cakes, cooled them, sliced them, frosted them, made the chocolate curls and decorated the cake.

So far, so good. Went to my mom's, ate a wonderful dinner, sliced the cake and took a bite. Cue tumbleweeds and spaghetti western music.

Dry. Cake was dry. Mousse was great but the cake was DRY. Like imagine it sitting in the grocery refrigerated case for weeks DRY. Like scrape the mousse off, eat that and throw the cake part away dry.

(insert f-bomb here)

Like... throw the whole cake away bad. I retraced my steps and I know exactly where I screwed up. When I doubled the cake recipe, I didn't double the vegetable oil in the recipe.

The extra cake at home was dry too.

(insert another f-bomb here, actually a lot of f-bombs... think world war II and the blitz type bombage)

(i should have known when the pictures turned out bad that this going to be another fine mess)

What a waste.

Anyways, this has been haunting me since Christmas. I haven't made another one yet because I am not ready to look at more chocolate for another month or so but damn it I will own this cake.

Can I stress that the mousse was really good and the cake was entirely my fault?

chocolate mousse: fine cooking sweet cakes 2009

*This recipe contains uncooked egg whites. Don't eat if you have a compromised immune system. If you are concerned about eating cooked egg whites, you can substitute pasteurized egg white product.

2 cups heavy cream
1/4 cup unsweetened natural cocoa powder
13 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped
1/2 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature and cut into small pieces
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract or 1 to 2 tablespoons brandy or Cointreau
pinch table salt
7 large egg whites, at room temperature
1/2 cup granulated sugar

Set up an ice bath by partially filling a large bowl with cold water and some ice.

Combine the cream and cocoa in a large saucepan set over medium heat. Bring to a full boil, whisking occasionally to blend in the cocoa. Slide the pan off the heat and immediately add the chopped chocolate and the butter; whisk slowly until melted and smooth.

Scrape the chocolate mixture into a large bowl. Add the vanilla and salt. Set over the ice bath and stir constantly with a rubber spatula, scraping the sides very frequently, until the chocolate cools to room temperature (don't stop stirring or lumps will form) Remove the bowl from the ice bath.

Put the whites in a large clean bowl. Whip with an electric mixer on medium-low speed until very foamy. Increase the speed to medium high and beat until the whites form very loose, soft peaks. Slowly add the sugar. Continue beating until the whites are shiny and form floppy peaks.

Working quickly, scoop about a third of the whites into the cooled chocolate mixture and fold together with a rubber spatula until blended. Scrape the remaining whites into the chocolate and fold together gently but thoroughly.

If you make the cake: Before chilling the mousse, scoop out about one cup of mousse into a bowl, cover, and chill for touch-ups.

chocolate cake:

Vegetable oil or pan spray for the pan
cocoa for the pans
1 1/2 cups cake flour
6 tablespoons unsweetened natural cocoa powder
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon table salt
1 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 large egg
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 cup water

Position a rack in the center of the oven and heat the oven to 325 degrees F. Lightly grease a 9x2-inch round cake pan, line the bottom with parchment, and flour the sides with cocoa (but not the bottom).

Sift the cake flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt into a large bowl. Add the sugar and whisk until well blended. Measure the oil into a 1-cup liquid measure, add the egg and vanilla, and mix with a fork to blend. Add the egg-oil mixture to the dry ingredients and then add the water. Whisk until the dry ingredients are just moist, about 1 minute, scraping down the sides of the bowl. Pour the batter into the prepared pan.

Bake until a pick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean, 32 to 34 minutes. Let cool on a rack for 20 minutes. Lightly grease a wire rack, invert the cake onto it, lift off the pan, peel off the paper, and let the cake cool completely. The cake can be wrapped in plastic and kept at room temperature for a day.

Set the ring of a 9-inch springform pan on a large, flat cake plate. To cut the cake into layers, it helps if the cake is slightly chilled. Set the cake bottom side up on a parchment-lined work surface. Cut into three equal layers. Set aside without separating the layers.

Gently flip the top cake layer (really the bottom) upside down and center it in the springform ring so the mousse can flow over the edge to frost the sides; handle the cake carefully, if it breaks, just piece it together. Scoop about one-third of the mousse (a heaping 2 cups) onto the cake layer in the ring and gently spread to cover. Flip the next cake layer (the center) on top of the mousse and press gently to level it, if necessary. Scoop half of the remaining mousse over the layer and spread gently. Flip the remaining cake layer upside down and set it on top of the mousse. Press gently to level it. Spread on the remaining mousse and smooth the top; the cake should fill the ring (don't worry if a little mousse leaks out of the bottom).

Refrigerate the cake for at least 6 hours up to 24 hours before decorating so it will hydrate from the mousse and the layers will set.

To finish, run a long thin knife under hot water and dry it well. Slide the warm knife between the chilled cake and the springform ring, pressing the knife against the ring. Carefully release the springform clasp; gently pry it all the way open. Lift off the ring and clean the plate edge. Mold strips of foil around the cake plate to keep it clean as you decorate. If the cake's sides have bare patches, use a small spatula to touch them up with some reserved mousse. Chill.

Decorate with chocolate curls or shards. Once decorated, keep the cake refrigerated and serve within 8 hours. Remove it from the refrigerator 10 to 15 minutes before serving.

Check out the Mayberry Magpie's much better non fail version of this cake.

new year's day...

2011-01-08T12:51:00.000-08:00

Rich and I took a drive down the coast on New Year's Day. Just some time to reboot and relax after the holidays and get some time to ourselves. Talked about a lot of changes to come for us personally, professionally, and here on this blog. Also, we played the I Wish game.

Our I Wish game seems to happen when we take long car drives and when the mega millions lottery game is up to an astronomical sum like 355 million dollars. We never buy tickets but it is always fun to dream for a car ride.

... and we always end up here. At the ocean. On this small tiny road. At the mailboxes with a view. What a pleasure it would be to pick up your mail everyday here. I think even getting bills would be pleasant.

Enjoy your weekend and maybe wish for something outrageous.

chewy oatmeal cookies

2011-01-05T11:36:00.000-08:00

It seems like every food blog lately has been posting recipes from one of two books. Good To The Grain by Kim Boyce or Chewy Gooey Crispy Crunchy: Melt-In-Your-Mouth Cookies by Alice Medrich. I don't have Good To The Grain yet but I do have a copy of Chewy Gooey Crispy Crunchy. So let's talk cookies for about the bajillionth time.

I love this cookbook. It's genius to anyone who loves cookies but also to people who crave by texture more than taste. When I get a craving my brain has a conversation that goes something like this.

Irrational Brain is in bold. Sane brain is in italics.

I'M CRAVING FOOD!

Okay brain dude chill out. What do you want?

CHEWY! I NEED CHEWY NOW!

Alright. We can do chewy. Savory or sweet?

I DON'T CARE! NEED CHEWY NOW. SAVORY. NO SWEET. PREFERABLY A COOKIE. COOKIES! NOW! COOKIE STAT.

It will take about a half an hour to make some cookies and get them into your mouth. Can you hold out that long.

YES. COOKIE. NOW. COOOOOOOOOOOKIE!

So yeah that was a peek into my brain. Back to what I was saying.... I love this cookbook because if your craving something gooey? It has a whole section of gooey cookies or crispy or crunchy or chewy. Sometimes there is a little of each of the textures in each recipe. Cookie Nirvana.

This recipe is all about technique.

What makes these cookie recipe different from the one with the old guy that vaguely resembles grandpa on the box is that you soak the oats in some water first. Which was a total epiphany for me. I felt so stupid after reading the recipe. Why didn't it occur to me to soak the oats years ago. I mean, duh, you don't eat oatmeal without soaking the oats in some sort of liquid first, why wouldn't you do that with cookies?

I fed these oatmeal cookies to three 18 year men and they all noticed that the cookies were a very far cry from most other oatmeal cookies (which is saying something about how different they are). Between soaking the oats in water and a little butter plus with the chilling, it lets the oatmeal absorb the dough's moisture. The oatmeal is toasted almost caramelized in flavor. The edges are crisp and the middles are chewy. The one thing I did different is that I hate those dreadful little dirty mouth bombs (raisins) so I omitted them and added a whole package of semi-sweet chocolate chips.

chewy oatmeal cookies: chewy gooey crispy crunchy: melt-in-your- mouth cookies by alice medrich

makes forty 3 1/4 inch cookies

2 cups rolled oats
1/4 cup water
1 1/4 cups unbleached all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg
1/2 pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 large egg
1 cup chopped walnuts
1 cup raisins * see above

Place the oats in a large bowl and sprinkle with the water. Combine the flour, baking soda, cinnamon, and nutmeg in a medium bowl and mix together with a whisk or fork.

Cut the butter into chunks and melt in a small saucepan over medium heat. Remove from heat and pour over oats. Then stir in sugar vanilla, and salt. Add the egg and stir briskly. Stir in the flour mixture just until all the dry ingredients are moistened. Stir in walnuts and raisins (or chocolate chips). Let dough stand for at least 1 but preferably 2 hours or (better still) cover and refrigerate overnight.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Scoop about 2 level tablespoons of dough and place cookies about 3 inches apart on the cookie sheets. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes or until cookies are golden brown on top. Cool cookies completely before stacking or storing. May be kept in an air tight container for several days.