kiwi caipirinha

*I'm not sure if everyone has ever read 'If You Give a Moose a Muffin' but the whole premise of the story is a child will give a moose a muffin then the moose will want jam to go with it and that will let to other things... hilarity and calamity ensue and it all leads back to the moose wanting a muffin.

Last night, I laid out this post, typed the recipe, and saved it because I wasn't really sure what kind of story I wanted to tell.

Around 4 AM I woke up from a deep sleep and staggered to the bathroom like a drunken soldier on a 2 day leave to an island of debauchery where all there are is dive-bars and loose women with questionable morals (there was no drinking involved for me though, I just don't wake up well). After dealing with a weak bladder, I wobble back to bed in the dark half asleep and I run into the door jamb and stub my pinkie toe. Which then makes me bite my hand to keep from sounding like Yosemite Sam and waking up the whole family. I collapse into bed and find out my little piggy toe hurts so much I can't even place a blanket over my feet. Which makes me cold because my foot has to hang over the edge of the bed and that means I can't sleep. Then I start thinking about what I need to post and that stresses me out that now I can't sleep. I am cold, in pain, and thinking about what I need to write.

I finally drift off for an hour or so and stumble into the daylight and my toe is black. I have an idea!

'Hey kids! Wanna see something gross?'

I show them my toe. Nancy looks like she threw up a little in her mouth. The boys groan.

'What happened?'

'You guys are what happened.  I had kids, which weakened my bladder, which makes me have to go to the bathroom at night, which then made me stub my toe, that then turned black. Which hurt so bad I couldn't sleep because I had to hang my toe over the edge of the bed. That got me to thinking about my blog and a post I needed to write, which made my mind go a million miles an hour which kept me awake. So just to let you know... this is all your fault.'

Then I dropped them off at school, got out of the car in front of my house and stepped into a puddle in flip flops because I had to wear flip flops because my toe is black and hurts because I stubbed my toe going to the bathroom in the middle of the night because my bladder is weak because I had kids... and decided to write about it.

kiwi caipirinha: sunset magazine february 2011

serves 2

1 lime, cut into chunks
2 tablespoons sugar
2 kiwi fruits, peeled and sliced, plus slices for garnish
1/2 cup cachaca*

Combine lime, sugar, and slices from the two kiwi fruits in a cocktail shaker. Using the handle of a wooden spoon, smash fruit to extract juices. Add about 2 cups ice and the cachaca. Shake to blend well, then divide contents, including ice, between 2 glasses. Garnish with kiwi and a sprig of mint.

cachaca is a brazilian sugar-cane liquor. i can normally find this at bev-mo.


Rebecca said...

I always blame my children. And I'm pretty sure I don't even need six degrees of separation to get there.

This post made me laugh until I hurt. You are awesome.

...Now. I have a serious snowstorm up in these parts and all I want is that gorgeous green cocktail. Do I brave the snow or not?

kitchensink said...

I think you deserve a nap

The Yummy Mummy said...

Your bladder in a blog post is awesome. So are you.

xo Kim

oneordinaryday said...

The whole 6 degrees of separation thing to blame everything on the kids is pure brilliance. And hilarious. Sorry you hurt yourself, but you did manage to get a very entertaining blog post out of it! And your drink sounds fabulous!

Amy said...

We have the entire series "Moos a Muffin," "Mouse a Cookie," "Pig a Pancake" - they, of course, awesome books (although the honeymoon has worn off since we've read them now a bazillion times.) Interestingly enough, this post reminded me more of "A Little Bug Went Kachoo"

You, of course know my "situation" with kiwis. I want this. Waaaaa.

Vanessa Coppa said...

I love those books! Laura Numeroff and Felicia Bond have done wonders with that series. Your post was hilarious. Made me want to make myself a drink right away.

LilSis said...

Those gorgeous photos make me wish that I had one of those cocktails right now!

Awesome story.... coming from another mom who has a weak bladder!

I'm Cassie.... said...

Ohhh, that green is beautiful! Looks delicious :)

tamilyn said...

Ahhh, the joys of post-childbirth weak bladders. My kids ask me every time I sneeze if I have to change my panties......God I love them.

A few of those yummy cocktails and you will forget all about the gross, black, cold toe.

Vickie said...

Beautiful cocktail! I thought you were going to say you got up and started drinking - this was way funnier. :)

Amanda said...

The kiwi are gorgeous! Now, I've got to find that liquor. Too bad about the toe. I'd have blamed it on the kids too.

Lindsey Hernandez said...


I absolutely love the idea of making a Kiwi Caipirinha...it takes me back to traveling in Brazil and being beach side. I never saw a Kiwi Caipirinha there, but, I definitely want to give it a spin! Thanks for the recipe!