chocolate chubbies

Sometimes the only thing that can make life better is a cookie.

Oh some will argue that a cigarette or an alcoholic drink would be better after a really bad day or a big bowl of carbs or ice cream would make a bad day better but I prefer a cookie.

After eight months of riding that roller coaster of cancer... I was asked to sit in the doctor's office with my father in law, ask some hard questions, listen to some difficult answers and then go out and explain to the mother in-law and my husband terms like quality of life, no surgery, cancer spread to liver and most likely the lungs, and chemo indefinitely. I wish that job on no one. It sucked.

Cancer fucking sucks. (and if you find that word or term offensive... you can suck it because you have never had to do what I had to do last week and if you had to explain all that painful information to your mother in law (who's been married to my father in law for 50 years)... you would say 'preach it sister... cancer fucking sucks ass.') 

Anyways... I needed a cookie

I still need a cookie.

These cookies are intensely chocolatey. If you look at the ratio of flour to chocolate, 1/2 cup flour to 24 ounces of chocolate, these cookies are not fooling around. A serious cookie to make you feel better.

chocolate chubbies: sarabeth's bakery from my hands to yours by sarabeth levine
makes approximately 18-24 cookies

8 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into 1/2 cubes
9 ounces semisweet or bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped
3 ounces unsweetened chocolate, finely chopped
1/2 cup all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt
3 large eggs, at room temperature
1 1/4 cups superfine sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups (12 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips
1 1/2 cups coarsely chopped pecans
1 1/4 cups coarsely chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Bring 1 inch of water to a simmer in a medium saucepan over low heat. Put the butter in a wide heatproof bowl, and melt butter over the hot water in the saucepan. Add the semisweet and unsweetened chopped chocolate, stirring often, until melted and the mixture is smooth. Remove the bowl from heat and let stand, stirring occasionally, until cooled slightly but still warm, about 5 minutes.

Sift the flour, baking powder, and salt together into a medium bowl. Whip the eggs in the bowl of a heavy duty stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment on medium high speed until the eggs are foamy and lightly thickened, about 30 seconds. Increase the speed to high and gradually add the sugar, then vanilla. Whip until the eggs are very thick and pale yellow, about 3 minutes. Reduce the mixer speed to medium and beat in the tepid chocolate, making sure it is completely incorporated. Change to the paddle attachment and reduce the mixer speed to low. Gradually add the flour mixture. Remove bowl from the mixer. Using a wooden spoon, stir in the chocolate chips, pecans, and walnuts, making sure the chunky ingredients are evenly distributed at the bottom of the bowl. The dough will be somewhat soft.

Using a 2 inch ice cream scoop, portion the batter onto the prepared cookie sheets, placing the cookies about 1 1/2 inches apart. Bake cookies immediately- if you wait they won't be shiny. Bake until cookies are set around the edges 17-20 minutes. (If you lift a cookie from the pan, the edges should release easily, even if the center of the cookie seems underdone. Do not overbake)


Melissa said...

Fuck, those look fucking delicious, but too fucking fattening. Great fucking photos though.

Cancer can fucking suck it.

And I fucking love you. *Huge hug*

Lisa@The Cutting Edge of Ordinary said...

1st of all - You and Melissa make me laugh.

2nd of all - I'm sorry you have to go through all this. My best friends Mom is going through chemo right now and it's so hard. I wish I could take away her pain.

3rd - those cookies were made just for me right? I just made some cookies too, cause sometimes ya just need them.

Thinking of you.

Penny Pincher said...

I could use that cookie about now, too.
Tough week, doesn't sum it up for you, but my thoughts are with you.

Jessie said...

Those cookies look delicious!

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Cancer sucks ass! We went through cancer last year. My Step Dad died of cancer (he got the cancer from Agent Orange in Vietnam.) The shit spread fast too. We found out in September and he died October 28th. You are right...I wish cancer and all the that goes with it on no one.

Maria said...

These look amazing!

Julie said...

preach it sista.


Cancer definitely sucks the big one. I too had to sit in a doctor's office with my father and hear the words, 'there's nothing left to do; we'll try to make you a comfortable as possible.' We buried him less than 3 months later. Lung cancer from asbestos he was exposed to while serving our country in the Navy. He was 66. Cancer totally sucks.

And I am very, very sorry this is happening to your family. My heart and my prayers are with you.

Rebecca said...

K- I'm so sorry. You and I are both dealing with this with in-laws/parents (and my Grandmother) right now. I wholeheartedly agree that cancer can suck it. I'm so sorry.

Chocolate cookies? Nice balm. I'll be using, er, making your cookies this week. Need.


Elly Lou said...

Fuck cancer and the little mutated cells it rode in on. Agreed.

If I didn't set off the fire alarm every time I cooked, I might give these a try. I might do it anyway. Sound heavenly.

Amy said...

Sorry for what you're dealing with. Cancer...such a complete buzz kill. Who invited that bastard to the party anyway?

Cookies are always my second choice treat, after pie. And now I really want one.

me again said...

I'm so sorry your life is so rough right now. Cancer does suck the big one. When my FIL was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, he wasn't supposed to live out the year, but he lasted for seven more years, long enough to see his first grandchildren born.
I don't use the word very often, but I HATE cancer.
And I LOVE chocolate :-)

Anonymous said...

God bless your heart, honey. Yeah. Cancer fucking sucks. I'm right there with you. And cookies fucking rule.

Anonymous said...

Great post! I’m looking to make some changes in my own eating habits and learning to cook, so I appreciate your insight a lot! Thank you. I recently stumbled upon this blog like I did yours and I thought your readers may appreciate it: http://burisonthecouch.wordpress.com/2010/11/04/food-for-thought/

I’ve started to look for blog help more regularly and I think I’m going to add your blog to my list as well. Thanks for the post!


Amanda said...

Cancer sucks. I'm so sorry for all that your family is going through.

Those cookies look decadent! I'm going to have to try them.

Jennifer said...

I am a chocolate chubby, sorry about the cancer thing, sucks ass. I have missed you..

Kristin @ Going Country said...

Agreed. On all counts. Fuck cancer, eat cookies. Sounds like a good mantra to me.

Somerset wedding gal said...

Holy... moly.

...Figured out what I'm baking tonight!