10/13/10

caramel, coconut, chocolate chip, and bacon magic bars



So me, my body, and my immune system have a sort of peace accord that was drawn up in our late 20's. I would give my body plenty of sleep, keep it feed and watered on a regular basis, shield it from too much stress and if I kept to that agreement my body in turn would keep my immune system in check. No swollen lymph nodes, no more lumps in places that are not suppose to be lumpy, no undefined tumors or fibroids.



Let's just say that for the last year I have ignored that peace accord. My body was a patient and benevolent ruler, it understood that some things were out of my control. But last week it decided to "release the Kraken" i.e.my immune system and the Kraken decided to wreck some havoc... POW! karate chop my in the solar plexus. BAM! dropkick in my head and BOOM! do some strange WWE move that left me crying for my momma.

I am sick. I went from looking like this....



To looking like this....



Also included is the boil on my chin, a red chapped nose and the 10 pack a day/ 3 bottles of whiskey a night voice.

Why don't you come up and see me sometime?



No?

I'm wounded that you don't find me the least bit attractive. Anyways, while I am slowly getting back to my feet (seriously, it's day 5 and counting) I have decided that these cookie bars are going to make me all better. Salty (bacon), sweet (coconut and chocolate), gooey (caramel), and chewy (caramel, again) it has to be better than all the NyQuil I have been ingesting.



caramel, coconut, chocolate chip, and bacon magic bars: adapted from food & wine november 2010

1 1/2 sticks salted butter
1/4 cup sugar
1 vanilla bean, seeds scraped
1 large egg yolk
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup rice flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 ounces bacon, finely diced
3 cups sweetened shredded coconut (6 1/2 ounces)
12 ounces semisweet or bittersweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup salted roasted almonds, chopped
One 16-ounce jar caramel
One 14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk

Preheat the oven to 350°. Line a 9-by-13-inch metal baking pan with parchment paper, leaving up to 1 inch of overhang. Spray the paper with vegetable oil spray.

In a medium saucepan, cook the butter over moderately high heat, stirring occasionally, until fragrant and browned, about 4 minutes. Scrape the butter into a large bowl and freeze just until solid, about 15 minutes.

Using a mixer, beat the sugar, vanilla seeds and egg yolk into the butter at medium speed until blended. Add the flour and salt and beat until moistened crumbs form. Press the crumbs into the prepared baking pan and bake in the lower third of the oven for about 25 minutes, until the crust is set and lightly browned.

Meanwhile, wipe out the bowl used to make the crust. In a medium skillet, cook the bacon over moderately high heat until browned and crisp, about 5 minutes. Drain the bacon on paper towels and let cool. In the bowl, toss the coconut with the chocolate chips, almonds and bacon.

In another bowl, whisk the caramel with the condensed milk; pour two-thirds of it in the crust. Lightly press the coconut-bacon mixture over the caramel and condensed milk mixture. Drizzle the remaining caramel mixture on top.

Bake the bars for 35 to 40 minutes, until lightly browned on top. Transfer the pan to a rack and let the bars cool to room temperature, then refrigerate until firm, about 1 hour. Carefully remove the bars from the pan and peel off the paper. Cut into bars and serve.

22 comments:

Katie said...

Yay mom you posted! Man i want a one of those bars!

tamilyn said...

Hello lover. I've been waiting my entire life for a bar like you....

Lisa@The Cutting Edge of Ordinary said...

Sorry you've been feeling crappy. That just sucks. Too bad I wasn't your neighbor. I could bring you some chicken soup and in exchange you could hand over those lovley bars!

robin said...

bacon? I've never had anything like that in a dessert bar. We'll have to try.

Melissa said...

You so funny. Glad to see you in this space. I miss your brilliance. ;)

ericka said...

Are you kidding me with this dish? Get in my tummy magic bars! I am sooo making this!

Jessie said...

I love that you used the Kraken greek mythology is awesome! :) Bacon in a dessert. Huh. Interesting and neat!

Abigail (aka Mamatouille) said...

Oh my heavenly days. I want some of that salty sweet delectable dessert!

katrina said...

I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER, I JUST STARTED TO COME DOWN WITH SOMETHING MYSELF, BEING THE COMMANDER AND CHIEF OF THE HOUSE, THIS IS NO BUENO.

I'M MAKIN THESE THIS WEEKEND,IF NOT JUST TO MAKE ME BETTER WITH THEIR MAGICALNESS,THEY WILL PROBABLY BE EXCELLENT SNACKS FOR WATCHING DEXTER

Cassaendra said...

Get well soon!

Those bars sound scrumptious. Mmm!

Vickie said...

OH.MY.GOSH. These sound so darned good, I can't wait to make them. I'm such a fan of meat candy!

My husband always calls our terrier The Kraken because he sounds so vicious when he's guarding the house.

kayatthekeyboard said...

Oh....my....God. I am SO going to make this tomorrow. No, not tomorrow, because I'm leaving town Monday and the heathen children will eat them all. Next weekend!

Rachel said...

sound amazing. maybe i'm missing something but what do you do with the frozen butter????

krysta said...

rachel... the instruction got me the first time i read it too...'Using a mixer, beat the sugar, vanilla seeds and egg yolk into the butter at medium speed until blended.'

Cali ʚϊɞ said...

hope you're feeling better!! glad to see you posting :)

Chelsea said...

Wow, perhaps the most bizarre combination ever but AWESOME. My god.

dining tables said...

I want to make those bars! Very delicious looking. This will be nice for the coming Halloween as a giveaway.

Mr. Bill said...

OOOHH.....that sounds too good!

Cheryl said...

So glad you made them first I spotted them in the magazine and thought hmmmmmmm....looks delicious

Paul said...

I haven't tried these yet but by Friday they will be on the menu. I am going to blog about this site and these bars in particular. I hope you don't mind. Check out my site and you'll see it's not bad. Still under development.

http://phpalumbo.com

Denise Michaels - Adventurous Foodie said...

Bacon? Seriously? Bacon?

I've been tempted to try one of those Chocolate Bars with bits of bacon in 'em. Haven't had the guts because I'm afraid I'll immediately become addicted.

Mike said...

Ahhhh! yea! Caramel, Coconut, Chocolate and Bacon...have I died? My favorite things in life swimming around in one delish candy treat! Thanks