blue ribbon's grilled chicken wings

When we went to visit my Aunt Cathy and Uncle Gene in Oregon last year, I didn't know that one little question at dinner would change something fundamental about who I am. We were at the dinner table and the conversation wasn't about politics per se, it was tip-toeing to that. Voices weren't raised, matter of fact no one was even arguing. But I did say, 'That makes me angry.' and my Aunt Cathy said, 'But why does that make you angry?'

I couldn't answer.

I knew on a cellular level what made me angry but I didn't have the facts or words that would go from my brain to my mouth to express why. GRRRR. This should have been a lesson I learned as a kid but for some reason it never clicked until I was thirty five years old. Wave hello to Krysta. She isn't too bright some of the time.

Yesterday a letter from Katie's school came in the mail. It was all about how to conduct ourselves during the graduation cermony of 2010. It made me angry. I stopped and asked myself, 'Why does this make you angry?'

And let me tell you I wasn't speechless. I had the words, matter of fact it's in bullet points.


Let's start from the beginning, shall we?

-We are glad that you have accepted our invitation to our commencement ceremony this year.

• I haven't received an invitation or tickets yet! Anyways, I have to go. My daughter is graduating. If I don't it will be death by firing squad.

-Indeed, the receipt of the diploma is a milestone in our lives; therefore, the graduation ceremony is perhaps one of the most important events of our lifetimes.

• No, it's presumptioious not in the top three most important events in anyone's lifetime. I would think in most peoples lives it's not even in the top 10 important events.

-The purpose of this letter is to make you our guests and graduates aware of our 'Code of Conduct" and the expectations for a dignified and memorable ceremony.

• First of all, did anyone PROOF this? There is a comma missing and the quotations are all screwy. And dignified? Jeez. It's not a funeral mass for a U.S. senator.

But what really chaps my hide is that parents need to be told there is actual code of conduct and that the principal feels the need to write this letter. I am angry because I understand the logic of this letter and understand that there is an actual need for this this letter. I am angry that we have gotten to the point that the principal feels like his job needs to extend into our home life.

I really hate that he's is my age and I feel that he always needs to feel to talk down to us.

-Mr. Gauna finishes his closing remarks.

• Crap. I am angry that I have sit and listen to him speak. If you ever have to sit through his robo-calls you know what I am talking about. He speaks without a script. Drones on, repeats himself endlessly, with lots of pauses, in monotone. Listening to a 3 minute call is nails on a chalk board torture but at least I can hang up. Which frequently do. There is no escaping this time.

Also, what's up with all the semicolons?

-Graduates shall be fully clothed under their gowns.

• Really?

-Ladies (he means graduates of the female persuasion) should wear dresses or blouses with skirts; men should wear shirts with collars and slacks. All graduates are expected to wear regular shoes or clean tennis shoes.

• Ugh. This is personal. I am not a skirt or dress wearer so I hate that women must wear a skirt or a dress. I am honestly surprised it didn't say they must wear heels.

Also, this is the man who has banned all blue and red from campus but continues himself to always wear blue. Every. Single. Day. We are not talking a blue tie or subtle amounts of blue. It's in your face blue. Blue sweaters, blue dress shirts. Do as I say but not as I do blue. Also, I hold a personal grudge because Katie was pulled in the office for wearing an orange salmon colored sweater. Even the staff said it wasn't red but she still needed to change because it was similar to red. My mind still reels at that... similar to red.

Little story... at my graduation, staff  went around and made graduates lift up their gowns to make sure we were in proper attire. I was wearing shorts. They called me on it. I said, 'What? Are you going to suspend me?' and they let it drop real quick. They didn't want to confront the pregnant student who looked like her water would break on the stage while receiving her diploma. I bet they were wishing I wasn't even going to show up.

-Sincerely yours,

Mr. Gauna

• Good Grief. You are not sincerely mine. If you were you would sign your first and last name. Even his signature is Mr. Gauna. He is a pretentious asshat.

grilled chicken wings with homemade hot sauce and blue cheese:  adapted from the blue ribbon cookbook bruce and eric bromberg

8 chicken wings (about 1 3/4 pounds)
perfect roast seasoning or kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
your favorite bottled hot sauce (I didn't make the homemade sauce and used Franks Hot Sauce instead)
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1 tablespoon Chinese plum sauce
1 1/2 teaspoons light brown sugar
1/4 cup sour cream
1/4 cup crumbled blue cheese

perfect roast seasoning:

1/4 cup plus 2 teaspoons kosher salt
3 tablespoons freshly ground black pepper
1 1/2 tablespoons dried thyme

Combine the salt, pepper, and thyme. Store in a covered container.

Make the blue cheese dressing:

Mix together the sour cream and blue cheese. Cover until ready to use.

Make the wings:

Sprinkle the chicken wings with the seasoning. Let rest for 20 minutes.

In the meantime, preheat the broiler or grill. In a small bowl, mix together the hot sauce, butter, plum sauce, and brown sugar. Set aside half of the hot sauce. Broil or grill the wings, turning once, for 20 minutes. Slather the wings with the remaining half of the hot sauce mixture, making sure to coat both sides of the wings. Broil or grill until glazed and crispy, 10 to 15 minutes longer, turning once. Using a clean utensil, brush the wings with the reserved hot sauce mixture before serving.

Serve with blue cheese dressing.


Cali ʚϊɞ said...

"He is a pretentious asshat." hahaha... yes, yes he is!!
this is def ridiculous! i can understand making 'rules' of some kind for the students, but to address them to their parents is reaching...

also, yay for chicken wings!! we love them around my casa :)

redtayl said...

doesn't "guano" mean bird shit?

anyway, your wings sound delicious, and I'm going to try them, but maybe with breast strips because my honey doesn't care for wings.

stacey said...

it means bat shit i do believe...
tell katie to stash one of those inflatable beach balls in her 'blouse' and blow it up during his closing remarks and let it fly... :D

krysta said...

redtayl... it does mean bat shit and around here even my kids call him bat poo. which is bad i know but if i had an ounce of respect for the man no one in our family would call him any names.

Kristin said...

Wait a sec...I must've missed something. He banned the wearing of blue & red? How can & why would he do that? What about jeans? Is he nuts?

Rebecca said...

...And what's another word for asshat, Krysta??? :-)

What a piece of work that is. Yes, that letter probably DID need to be written (boo, society, BOO!) but he didn't need to be such a self-congratulatory prig about it. While guano is a very convenient name to mock, I'm thinking this guy is more of a Barney Fife type.

Don't let him ruin your good time. I think you oughta let fly as soon as his closing remarks are over. You'll have followed the rules, then next year there will be a new bullet point. Woot!

redtayl said...

Kristin - in my part of California, red and blue are opposing gangs' colors, so they are banned at most schools. But salmon is "similar to red"? C'MON!!

krysta - if the man was RESPECTABLE, he wouldn't be called names!

tamilyn said...

How can you ban colors? That is retarded. The only rules we have is no hats during the school day and no clothing that has alcohol, drug or sex references-I'm okay with those, but isn't there some kind of God given right to wear a red sweater if it is your best color? And BLUE jeans?

Now I have to go back and see what you actually cooked......

liteluvr said...

Great looking wingz...
serious asshat...
You sound like a kindred spirit.

Pete said...

I consider myself to quite knowledgeable about the "colorful" words in the English language, having worked in professional kitchens most of my life, and asshat is a new one for me. I love it! I will use it! Thanks! Great post.

Anonymous said...

We rcvd the same basic letter for my son's graduation from Lodi High. Except the boys are to wear ties.

"Asshat," I'm sure that comes from the old Don & Mike Show. Classic.


Erin said...

U are my hero for posting your real thoughts on that ridiculous "code of conduct" letter. It's an insulting letter first and foremost. I agree with the whole skirt issue for the women's dress code. What is this? The 50s? I don't wear skirts/dresses so I would've worn nice dress pants under my gown. Or my prom dress, just to make the point that its a real formal shindig! Anyway, loved it, love your blog, love your recipes! You rock! (Asshat is my new favorite...thanks for that.)