...or the more aptly titled: the post in which i share too much information.*
*This might be because of the residual effects of NyQuil, Advil, cough syrup, Midol, and whatever other drugs are in my system.
I thought I understood the term 'adding insult to injury' but I didn't get it until Saturday January 2nd. I mean I can even pinpoint the time. But we need to go backwards in time to understand.
It started Friday, Christmas day. Rich had to work, Katie's dad bought her a car as a present (with only a 1/4 tank of gas and the condition that she can only drive it for 2 months or until she gets a job to pay for insurance). Guess who she lives with? Rich and I. Guess who will probably pay for gas until said kid gets a job? Rich and I. Katie's dad should have just bought us a puppy.) We had other bad news but right now is not the time to get into it.
By Sunday the 27, it was my time of the month...nothing that a warehouse full of Midol, a heating pad, a case of Tampax, and a prescription for pain killers can't handle! Funny thing is, I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. Le sigh.
Monday the 28... Rich goes on vacation.
Thursday the 31, New Year's Eve. The Goldilocks of Shoes, Katie, finally tracks down the boots she wants.
These boots are the wrong color... return them.
These boots are the wrong style... let's get store credit.
These boots are just right... but we need to drive an hour to go get them and I already placed them on hold.
Mama Bear could have ate her young right about then because I was already sneezing and my throat and eyes were itchy. The last thing I wanted to do was drive to our state's capital in midday holiday traffic to get a pair of boots. That I can't even wear.
By the time Mama Bear and Goldilocks got home, Mama Bear wasn't feeling so hot. She thought it was allergies and took some Benadryl, posted this on Facebook at 5:59 pm...
"dear 2009, you've out stayed your welcome this year. don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. love, krysta."
and then promptly fell asleep.
Way to tempt fate, dumbass, because I have been sick ever since.
Here's where I can add insult to injury. Twice.
Before Christmas, I cleaned out my unmentionables drawer. I found a bra I hadn't seen in awhile. So while I was sick, I wear newly found bra. I now remember why I don't wear it. It gives me a rash. So Burt of Burt and Ernie fame has a rash and is red and itchy.
And then on the January second, around three o'clock pm Standard Pacific Time. I decide to warm up this dish that Katie had made. It was Bouchons Au Thon, translated: a really good tuna dish.
Warm tuna, when I am sick, what was I thinking? Why I didn't just make myself some chicken noodle soup is beyond me. I wasn't thinking clearly...having a 102 temperature and NyQuil will do that. I warmed the Bouchon Au Thon in the microwave.
Beeeeeep, Beeeeeep, Beeeeeep... the microwave is telling me Hey you sicko! The one spreading your germs all over the kitchen. Yeah you... come get your food.
I open the microwave and pull out my little ramekin of bouchon au thon (sounds better that warmed tuna because the words: warmed tuna, kinda skeeves me out) Next thing I know the bouchon POPS and spatters onto my face and hands.
I now have a pencil eraser sized burn on my cheek.
So let's recap...
red and itchy boob ☑
a pair of boots I can't wear☑
a car that I didn't buy and will end up paying for the gas of said car that I did not purchase☑
coughing, sore throat, itchy eyes, 102 temperature ☑
a burn on my face ☑
Don't you think this has all the makings of a great year to come?