lemon frozen yogurt

Dear Summer,

It's time for you to pack your bags and leave. I'm sorry to say that so bluntly but you really have over stayed your time here with me. I mean your gifts were wonderful... the fresh ripe sweet fruit and the glorious tomatoes, I can never thank you enough for that but the multiple 100 degree days, the dirty air, that is just being a bad lover. Really, how do you expect me to love you when you treat me so badly?

Anyways, my oven feels neglected. He is distraught that no one has payed him any attention. My friends... jeans, turtleneck sweaters, scarves, and boots have threatened to not to talk to me if they don't see the light of day soon and don't get me started on my new fireplace. He whispers sweet nothings into my ear every night. Summer, he is so very hard to resist.

Let's just end this now before it gets messy. Really, it's not you it's me. No, I haven't an affair yet but if we don't end this soon, someone will suffer from a broken heart and I like you well enough not to want to hurt you. Fall is calling and he's such a handsome and kind man. I know we'll run into each other in about 6 months or so. Don't be sad because soon enough I know I'll regret this letter.

With Love,

Krysta

P.S. Here's my parting gift to you...



lemon frozen yogurt: sunset magazine

32 ounces (about 4 cups) plain nonfat yogurt
2/3 cup lemon curd

In a medium bowl, whisk together yogurt and lemon curd. Spoon mixture into an ice cream maker and freeze according to manufacturer's directions. Transfer yogurt to a container and freeze until firm, about 3 1/2 hours. Make ahead: Freeze up to 1 week. Let soften at room temperature about 45 minutes before scooping, or microwave a few seconds until softened.

blueberry coulis:

1 pound fresh or frozen blueberries (3 1/2 cups)
3/4 to 1 cup sugar
1 to 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
2teaspoons cornstarch
2 teaspoons water

Combine the blueberries, 3/4 cup of the sugar, and one tablespoon of the lemon juice in a saucepan and bring to a simmer over medium heat. simmer until the sugar has dissolved, about 10 minutes. Taste the mixture and, if necessary, add more sugar. Continue to heat until any additional sugar is dissolved. Strain the coulis through a fine-mesh sieve. After straining, place the coulis in a clean saucepan and bring to a simmer.

Make a slurry by blending 2 teaspoons cornstarch with 2 teaspoons cold water. Drizzle the slurry into the simmering coulis gradually, adding just enough to lightly thicken the sauce.

Tasting Notes: I have said plenty of times that I don't like ice cream and that also went for frozen yogurt. Did you not the past tense in the last part of that sentence? This frozen yogurt is so good and easy. It's sweet and tart and very refreshing on those days wher summer is over staying his welcome. I actually like it better with some raspberry jam and thyme served on the top but blueberry coulis is pretty darn good too.

the most awesome laundry room ever

okay, so i might be over exaggerating here but i really do love my laundry room/mud room.

see, every laundry room i have ever had has been either cramped or dark OR cramped and dark so it's nice to have a huge light filled room.

i love the light. i love the storage. OH MY GOD THE STORAGE! can you see how much storage there is? except it's made for tall people and i am short, folks, real short... but who cares because THERE IS STORAGE!!!! i will just have to use a ladder that i can store in the cupboards.

i love that there is a place to fold laundry... except i never use it to fold laundry, i use it to take pictures because of the light... wait until you see the light.



okay here's a picture of the washer and dryer, not a big deal but... it is.

in our old house there wasn't a place to vent the dryer. you know that little hole cut out in the wall to feed the dryer vent? yeah, our old house lacked it because our landlord wanted to keep the house "original" [eyeroll...as much as i like my landlord this was a point of contention... it was a hole for a dryer vent it wasn't like we wanted to put in a window, for christsake!] so we had to open a door in the laundry room to let out all the hot steamy air the dryer created, even in the winter and if the temperature was over 90 degrees you could forget doing the laundry. we had to replace the heating element in our dryer two to three times a year because the dryer overheated. it was a pain in the ass and a pain in our pocketbook... multiply 40 dollars by twice a year then multiply that by 7 years = 560 dollars (conservatively) all because our landlord wanted to keep the house "original".



what laundry room isn't complete without a disneyland tiki room poster?



the light isn't great in this picture but here's where i am now taking the bulk of my pictures and storing all my paint samples but that's for another post.

so here's the thing, i collect rocks. i have rocks in probably every room in my house. i'm like the crazy cat lady but i have rocks. they are from the ocean, the mountains, the front and backyards. i don't want to know what it says about my personality.



this picture shows my roaming gnome and the LIGHT!



more STORAGE!!!

cool story about the floors...

an architect friend of ours came over and told us that our maple floors in the kitchen and laundry room were quite common for this neighborhood. what happened was when these houses were being built, a few miles down the road a huge old gymnasium was being torn down and they used the floors from the gym as kitchen floors for the new construction around here... in the early 1900's. back then i am sure it wasn't called being green, it was just being thrifty.

we have recycled basketball floors, isn't that cool? i'm tempted to figure out a way to paint a basketball key on the floor.

next stop on the tour, the kitchen.

braised chicken thighs with olives and basil

Dear Krysta,

My name is Joan DiClaudio and I am an editor for a soon to be new magazine called Parenting Fail. I just want to let you know I enjoy your site. You are funny, edgy, and very honest about parenting and cooking. Since our magazine is going to launch sometime next year, we would like to know if you would consider being a contributor? Also we would like to nominate you for a few awards on our website.

Big Meanie Award: This award is for telling your baby girl, and who cares that she's 11, she's still the baby. "That this is your problem, not mine. Go fix it yourself and don't come crying to me for help." with the disclaimer afterwords of "Suck it up." and for also telling her "Of course she doesn't like you, you wanna know why? Because you give her those eyes and pout like a goddamn baby. If you were cheerful and didn't act like a pain in the ass, she'd probably like you."

She's still giving you "the look" for this.

Ooops! I Have Just Caused Everlasting Emotional Scars On my Child Award: This one is for talking to your husband about your son behind his back with your son not even 10 feet away. Oh you remember this day, since it only happened a couple weeks ago. You said, "How he is going to amount to anything if he doesn't pull his head from his ass and start listening. He can't do a simple task without you spelling out in detail what he needs to do and in what order... how if his boss had to do that with him everyday, all day long, he won't have a job and how will he succeed in life."

Your husband is still mad at you for that.

Mom, You Suck! Award: This award is for telling your eldest daughter that "You didn't go to school today, so of course your boyfriend cannot come over. Duh!"

Way to get on her level.

You Suck Big Time Award: This award is for breaking a promise to your "adopted sous chef". You were suppose to post everyday last week. you didn't.

Therefore, you suck!

We'd love to hear what you think and can't wait to start working with you.

Cheers,

Joan DiClaudio
Associate Editor
Parent Fail Magazine
j.diclaudio [@] parentfailmag.com *



this photo has nothing to do with this post... it's just there to fill space

braised chicken thighs with olives and basil: food & wine's quick from scratch italian cookbook

note: I have made this dish sorts of different ways before I even knew there was a recipe.... make it with wine, without wine, with sherry, with or without canned black olives, kalamata olives, capers, with rosemary or without, diced tomatoes or crushed. Just use what you have on hand but make sure to really brown the chicken really well and don't forget the garlic or this dish sucks... trust me I have the award.

1 tablespoon olive oil
8 chicken thighs (about 3 pounds in all)
1 teaspoon salt
Fresh-ground black pepper
1 onion, chopped
12 cloves garlic, peeled
2 teaspoons chopped fresh rosemary, or 3/4 teaspoon dried rosemary
1/2 cup dry white wine
1/2 cup canned low-sodium chicken broth or homemade stock
1 cup canned crushed tomatoes in thick puree
1/3 cup halved and pitted black olives
1/3 cup chopped fresh basil

In a large deep frying pan, heat the oil over moderately high heat. Season the chicken with 1/2 teaspoon of the salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Put the chicken in the pan and brown well on both sides, about 8 minutes in all. Remove. Pour off all but 1 tablespoon of the fat. Reduce the heat to moderately low. Add the onion and garlic and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onion starts to soften, about 5 minutes. Add the rosemary and wine. Bring to a simmer, scraping the bottom of the pan to dislodge any brown bits. Boil until the wine is reduced to approximately 1/4 cup, 1 to 2 minutes. Add the broth, tomatoes, olives, the remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt, and the chicken, skin-side up, with any accumulated juices. Cover and simmer until the chicken is just done, 20 to 25 minutes. Push the chicken to the side of the pan and then mash the garlic cloves with a fork. Stir in 1/8 teaspoon pepper and the basil, bring just to a simmer, and serve.

Tasting Notes: This is a dish we eat every couple months or so. It's a workhorse, not complicated to make and everyone enjoys it. I like serving it with roasted potatoes. The potatoes soak up the pan juices from the chicken, tomatoes, and olives and makes me want to roll my eyes in back of my head. As Katie says, "It's tasty and delicious." Which is the ultimate compliment. So I guess I don't get a Parenting Fail award for this dish. What a shame.


*Ummm, I guess the sarcasm was not snarky enough... this was written as a joke about my epically bad parenting skillz** over this past month.

**(spelled with a z 'cause my parenting skills have been that awesome)

dark chocolate swirl pound cake

alternate title: A Case Of Mistaken Identity. Potato, Potahto. Krysta, Christopher.

Two weeks back I made an appointment with a well known, nation wide tax preparer... S & L Blockheads to re-do my taxes and take advantage of the eight thousand dollar tax credit for buying a house. Gave them my name and blah, blah, blah. So the day of the appointment comes and Rich and I show up 15 minutes early. No one is at the front desk. We wait and we wait some more, finally just taking a seat in the waiting room. Yes, apparently tax preparers now have waiting rooms just like doctors offices... with out-of-date magazines to boot! Ten minutes later, finally someone shows up and asks if we have an appointment. I tell her yes and give her my name and the rest of the conversation follows...

"There's no appointment for a Krysta Guerrero on the computer."

"Well, I made an appointment and spoke to Beatrice and she told me Friday the 11th at 12 o'clock"

"There's no appointment here for you. Look."

And she turns the computer screen toward me so I can confirm that, of course, there's no Krysta Guerrero on the appointment screen and because of this I must be a LIAR (Thank You Joe Wilson, esteemed Representative from South Carolina) because if the computer doesn't show it well then it mustn't and could not be true.

Right, because computers or the people that run them can never FAIL.

"But there is a Christopher Guerrero at 12 o' clock." I tell her and point to the screen,"Christopher Guerrero, in all likelihood, is probably me and my appointment. People mishear my name frequently and this happens more than I would care to admit. You know Krysta, Christina, Chrystal, Christopher." Trying hard to be charming and show the logic of how people hear only what they want.

The lady is looking at me like I am completely insane. You can tell she is thinking how would anybody in their right mind confuse Krysta and Christopher? You can see her working this out in her mind. Should she placate the crazy lady who doesn't even know her own name and is about to go bat shit crazy if she doesn't give her the appointment or does she compromise because it's a plausible story but if a Christopher Guerrero does come in, well she's going to have two upset customers on her hands.

This takes a few minutes and she finally comes up with...

"Well, if Christopher doesn't show up in another five minutes, we will fit you in."

"Yeah he won't show because he is me." and I go sit down in a huff, with my arms crossed and everything. I wouldn't be surprised if someone told me I had my lower lip stuck out like a child.

Guess who never showed up to his appointment?



dark chocolate swirl pound cake: food & wine october 2009

note: this recipe calls for a 13 ounce jar of Nutella. I didn't have any on hand so I substituted a jar of Dark Chocolate Spread from Cost Plus World Market.

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
4 large eggs, at room temperature
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 sticks unsalted butter, softened
1 1/4 cups sugar
One 14 ounce jar of Dark Chocolate Spread from Cost Plus World Market

Preheat the oven to 325°. Lightly grease and flour a 9-by-5-inch loaf pan, tapping out any excess flour. In a glass measuring cup, lightly beat the eggs with the vanilla. In a medium bowl, whisk the 1 1/2 cups of flour with the baking powder and salt. In a large bowl, using a handheld mixer, beat the butter with the sugar at medium-high speed until fluffy, about 3 minutes. With the mixer at medium-low speed, gradually beat in the egg mixture until fully incorporated. Add the flour mixture in 3 batches, beating at low speed between additions until just incorporated. Continue to beat for 30 seconds longer. Spread one-third of the batter in the prepared pan, then spread half of the dark chocolate spread on top. Repeat with another third of the batter and the remaining dark chocolate spread. Top with the remaining batter. Lightly swirl the dark chocolate spread into the batter with a butter knife. Do not overmix. Bake the cake for about 1 hour and 15 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let the cake cool in the pan for 15 minutes. Invert the cake onto a wire rack, turn it right side up and let cool completely, about 2 hours. Cut the cake into slices and serve.



Tasting Notes: I am in love. This cake was moist and sweet but then the chocolate gave it some depth of flavor that cut the sweetness and a texture that was almost like the edge of the brownie in spots. I love food with different textures so this one was right up my alley.

walnut double decker brownie bars

If you were to tell me that right this instant I need to pack my bags and that I was going to Disneyland. I would have no problem. I don't mind doing something spontaneous, matter of fact I prefer to be kept on my toes. With that being said I don't do well with changes in my habitat, settling in, or disruption.... or even web sites that are new to me throw me for a loop. It took me months before I got comfortable with Facebook, Twitter, or even Amazon.



So right now I feel a little off my game. Even my computer keyboard feels like it's 10 degrees off kilter. Every time I try to type it looks like this... wjalkdfiytnvg:ifnslkfuhn. That sentence was suppose to say walking with you is fun. So you can imagine how cooking has been. I walk around the kitchen in circles because even though I unpacked everything I can't seem to remember where I put it. It feels like I'm doing everything left handed with one eye shut and for shit and giggles hopping on one leg. I look like a 35 year old dementia patient. Disorientation, mumbling, dazed look, can't remember where I placed my keys... Paging Dr. House! Oh that's right, you can't come because you are locked up in the crazy place, I'm sure we will meet soon.



walnut double decker brownie bars: the best of fine cooking; big buy

for the brownie layer:

cooking spray
12 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into large chunks
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon of salt
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
3/4 cup all purpose flour

for the walnut layer:

1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1/3 cup all purpose flour
2/3 cup light corn syrup
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large eggs
1 1/2 cups roughly chopped walnuts
1/3 cup sweetened coconut flakes

Position a rack in the center of the oven and heat the oven to 325 degrees. Line the bottom and sides of a 9X13 inch baking pan with foil, leaving some overhanging on the sides, and spray with cooking spray.

brownies:

In a medium saucepan over medium heat, whisk the butter until it is melted. Remove the pan from the heat and add sugar, cocoa powder and salt. Whisk until well blended, about 1 minute. Add the eggs and vanilla and whisk until smooth. Add the flour and stir until blended. Scrape into the prepared pan and spread evenly. Bake until top is shiny and dry looking and the brownie springs back very slightly when pressed with a fingertip, about 20 minutes. (The brownie should not be completely baked.) Remove from oven and put on a rack.

walnut topping:

While the brownie layer is baking, combine the brown sugar and flour in a large bowl. Whisk until well blended, breaking up any large clumps. Add corn syrup, melted butter, and vanilla. Whisk until blended, about one minute. Add the eggs and whisk until just combined, about 30 seconds. (Don't overmix or the batter will be foamy.) Add the nuts and coconut and stir until evenly blended.

Pour the walnut topping over the warm, partially baked brownie layer. Using a spatula, carefully spread the mixture into an even layer. Return the pan to the oven and bake until the top is golden brown, about 37-40 minutes. Transfer the pan to a rack to cool completely.

Using the foil as handles, lift the rectangle from the pan and invert onto a work surface. Carefully peel away the foil. Flip right side up. Using a sharp knife cut into 2x2 inch squares.

Tasting Notes: Just think of these as mini German Chocolate cakes but in brownie form. Rich and gooey with walnuts and coconut. That's about as good as it's going to get for now in the description department because I am seriously lacking mojo in that department as well.

getting my feet wet, literally...

so... hey krysta, how everything going? liking your new house? all unpacked and moved in?



yeah, i am all unpacked, believe it or not. umm just having a little issue with the plumbing (claudia that's for you) you know how it goes... house is empty for awhile, roots get into the plumbing, might have broken a pipe. can't use the washing machine... have LOTS of towels to wash maybe 35 or so. nothing that an inch of water on the bathroom floor won't take care of.



don't mind the puddles on the floor. it's only from the SOAKING WET TOWELS.



so what are the fans for?

only to dry the carpets...because the inch of water went into the carpeted hallway.

i guess you can imagine what i think of home ownership right about now.

It's a conspiracy, I tell you. The minute you start they put you on the all-American sucker list. You start out to build a home and wind up in the poorhouse. And if it can happen to me, what about the guys who aren't making $15,000 a year? The ones who want a home of their own. It's a conspiracy, I tell you - -against every boy and girl who were ever in love.

can anybody name that movie?