how to make perfect french fries

Okay so yesterday we talked a little about french fries in general and in the discussion it was mentioned that certain people have the fear of frying... either it would be from getting popped and snapped from the frying grease or they were worried about fire. So let's hit upon those subjects for a second before we start. Make sure your potatoes for french fries and all utensils are clean and dry (this will prevent popping/snapping). Also have a kitchen fire extinguisher on hand or a well fitting lid for the pot of oil and let me make this clear.... DO NOT USE WATER IF YOUR GREASE CATCHES ON FIRE! That would be a very bad thing. If you don't have a fire extinguisher and your pot catches on fire put the lid on the pot for a few minutes or if you don't have a lid place a towel on it, find the lid and place it on the pot quickly. If all else fails have a phone nearby to call 911. Okay now that we've addressed that issue let's carry on.

Let's think of french fries as a big ol' mise en place before we do anything, let's set up our kitchen.

russet potatoes, well scrubbed and dry
a cutting board
a knife
a large bowl of cold water
a colander
2 cookie sheets
a clean kitchen towel
a roll of paper towels
a heavy duty pot
Crisco
salt
tongs
a candy thermometer

working from left to right...

In your sink, set up a bowl of large cool water and beside it a colander. To the right of that on the counter, set up a clean dry dish towel.

Place heavy duty pot on stove burner... in reach, have Crisco (or any other neutral flavored oil like canola or peanut oil will do) candy thermometer, and tongs.

Next to your oven, hopefully, you have a place to set two large cookie sheets lined with paper towels.



On your cutting board you want to cut your potatoes into sticks about 1/4 inch thick. You can cut them until they are all the same length but what fun would that be?



Place them in the water. When all the potatoes are cut, change the water a couple times until the water is clear.

Next step is to warm up your pot. I set the pot on the burner, empty and turn it on to medium high, when the pot warms up after a couple of minutes, I place the Criso in and let that warm up. Place in thermometer and heat Crisco to about 320 dergrees. I'm sure at this point you are like,"Krysta, you never told me how much Crisco or oil to use." It's true, I didn't. Here's where ratio comes in...use twice as much oil as you have potatoes. I hate math but even I understand this one.



While the oil or shortening is warming up. Grab a handful of potatoes in the cool water> drain them in the colander > then pat dry on clean kitchen towel. See how that worked from left to right? Genius!



At this point, I want to stress that potatoes are solitary creatures, they DO NOT like overcrowding or to be fiddled with to much. They become soggy in anger. Let's keep the potato happy people! And so you don't get popped, do not just throw the potatoes in the oil because you are scared of getting popped. That makes not a lick of sense. Use something to slowly ease them into the oil like if you were achy and 100 years old and you wanted to get into the bathtub, you wouldn't risk breaking a hip by just flopping in the tub, would you?


don't do this at home! professional stupid food bloggers only. sorry about the blur, i'm stupid but not an idiot. take picture of potatoes in boiling oil very quickly and then get the hell out of there!

Fry the potatoes until they are cooked through about 5 minutes. Giving them a stir once or twice. They should be a pale golden color. Remove the potatoes and place them in a single layer onto lined cookie sheet. Remember NO OVERCROWDING!



Lather, Rinse, Repeat with the remaining potatoes.

For the second fry...



Heat the oil to 375 degrees and add a handful of potatoes at a time, place potatoes in the oil and fry until potatoes are crispy and a dark gold color, about 3 minutes. Place on the other lined cookie sheet.


on the left: 1st fry- on the right: 2nd fry

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

Sprinkle with salt and serve.



Really, it's not hard. It just takes some planning. Now since I have given you a step by step tutorial... go and treat yourself to some homemade french fries!

french fry 101- lecture and discussion

Good Afternoon everyone. Today we are going to discuss the potato.

Calm down Ms. Tigerlily, I know that for extra credit you did an essay with diagrams, charts, and illustrations about the history of the potato. You will be getting credit for it.

And Ms. Kristen, I'm well aware that you grow your own potatoes, so you are well versed in all things potato. Extra credit for that as well.

Lisa, as we are now in college, going to the bathroom is done on your own time. No hall passes here.

I am an esteemed member and one of the founders of this club and as a potato laureate, I do not want to talk about the history of the potato. What I'd like to do is wax poetic about french fries. Maybe wax isn't the appropriate word because waxy is not what you want in a french fry. Get it? I love a little potato humor.

So how many of you have actually made french fries? A show of hands, please.

Okay, so most of the class.

Now let me ask how many of you made french fries in the past six months?

Ah yes, that's what I thought. Except for Kristen most of you haven't made them lately.

Why is that?

You hate to fry.
Too much work, not worth the payoff.
Never as crispy as you'd like.
A disappointment.

All those are very good reasons but I can assure you after you are done with my class these things will be in the past. With a little effort, forethought, planning, and grease (another little witticism) your french fries will shine and not because of the oil.

A little story first... when I was little, once and awhile my mom made french fries. I was like the Tasmanian devil for those fries. Running in and out of the kitchen, trying to steal whatever fry I could get my grubby little hands on. As a family we didn't eat out a lot and that's pretty much the only time anybody ever eats fries so I knew homemade french fries were a special treat and boy was I ever going to make it special by eating as much as I could possibly stuff in my mouth!

Funny the things you remember, I don't remember my mom giving me much advice about boys or help with all the high school drama but I always hear my mom saying that the key to making good fries is to fry them twice. You know what, she's right.

For the lab tomorrow you will need...

russet potatoes, well scrubbed and clean
a cutting board
a knife
a large bowl
cold water
a colander
2 cookie sheets
a clean kitchen towel
a roll of paper towels
a heavy duty pot
Crisco
salt
tongs
a candy thermometer

Class dismissed and remember to be safe out there!

pay attention class!

"I don't feel tardy"- Hot For Teacher Van Halen

Class Schedule for French Fry Studies- 5 units

ECMFF101- Lecture & Discussion 7/21 2:00PM

ECMFF101- Lab 7/22 12:00pm

Supplementary Class- 1unit

SpSc101-Lab 7/22 12:00

Material list will be handed out in Lecture & Discussion. Course to be taught by Potato Laureate Krysta Guerrero.

For students learning how to make the perfect french fry.

Prerequisite: none.

coconut-macadamia nut ice cream

i have an ice cream machine
i keep it's motor clean
it makes the best damn treats that i've ever seen
yup, the bowls were quakin' my spoon was shaken
and YOU.... churned me all night long...

a comment left to me on facebook from this guy.

Now on to the regularly scheduled post...

Mr. David Lowman
CEO Global Mortgage
JPMorgan Chase & Co
New York

July 19, 2009

Dear Mr. Lowman,

Right. So maybe you aren't a cookie person, I totally get it, it's cool. How about ice cream? Did you know that today, July 19, is National Ice Cream Day? And did you know I make a pretty good batch of ice cream? Not that I'm bragging or anything. So how about ice cream for an answer on the house on San Joaquin Street? Imagine eating this ice cream under this palm tree...



sitting on this beach...



I can't imagine anything better than that except maybe moving into my house! And Mr. Lowman, I loathe moving.

Sincerely,

Krysta Guerrero

coconut-macadamia nut ice cream:(adapted from baking and books)

3/4 cup of shredded coconut
1 cup of sugar
3 large egg yolks
2 cups heavy cream
1 1/2 cups of coconut milk
2 tablespoons coconut rum
splash of vanilla

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spread the coconut on a baking sheet lined with aluminum foil. Place in hot oven for 5-7 minutes or until the coconut turns a light brown. Remove from oven and cool.

In a medium mixing bowl, beat egg yolks into the sugar until thickened. Set aside.

Combine 1 cup of heavy cream with the coconut milk in a heavy medium sized saucepan.Bring to a boil over medium heat. Remove from heat and slowly beat hot liquid into the egg yolk and sugar mixture. Pour the egg, sugar, cream mixture back into the saucepan and place over low heat. Stir constantly with a wooden spoon until the custard mixture thickens slightly. [dip your spoon in the mixture, pull it out and you should be able to run your finger across the back of the spoon and it will look like moses parted the red sea, then you know your custard mixture is good to go]



if this is not the most perfect description i'll eat my 14 year old son's socks!

Remove from heat and pour hot custard through a strainer into a large clean bowl. Allow mixture to cool slightly and add the remaining cup of heavy cream, 1/2 cup of toasted coconut, coconut rum, and vanilla. Cover and chill overnight.

Stir the chilled custard and freeze according to your ice cream manufacturer's instructions. Add macadamia nuts during the last 5 minutes of freezing.

Before serving, sprinkle with remaining toasted coconut.

Tasting Notes: Because of the coconut rum this will be softer than most ice creams. On the Spinal Tap scale of sweetness, this is an 8 of 11. So if you don't have a sweet tooth this might not be your cuppa but if like coconut, eat and rock on my friend.

Quite exciting, this computer magic!

grateful

for sunsets on the delta...



to able to get lost in a cornfield...



for a husband who throws a wicked knuckleball...



for good breakfasts...

everything bagel, cream cheese, avocado, tomato, and thyme



for fireworks that look like the beginning of the universe...



to be able to pick herbs from my own pots and make vinaigrette



for a totally homemade dessert...

lemon frozen yogurt and raspberry preserves (not shown fresh thyme sprinkled on top)



that summer can be summed up in the taste of this sandwich.



for my both of my daughters teaching me the joys of sipping an arnie palmer from a jelly jar.



for summer.

(and the occasional picture that comes straight out of the camera that needs no editing... see sunflower.)

What are you grateful for this summer?

island cookies/ an open letter to david lowman

Dear Readers,

I believe in the power of the cookie. The power of a home baked cookie to be precise. Do you know anybody who wouldn't smile if you offered them home baked cookie? And if they don't isn't that some form of sociopathy? Do you think even the CEO of JPMorgan Chase Global Mortgage, David Lowman, would melt like butter if I offered him homemade cookies? I also believe in the Internet and the voice of one person, with a little help, hopefully, from Google Alerts. If you haven't been reading for long, click here for the scarlet letter F (for foreclosure) story and the great redemption of 2009 here. That should catch you up. We are finding out that short sell means anything but and it's a battle of wills.

-cue the summer blockbuster music & Don LaFontaine (for giggles click here)

Who will win?

The little chef mom, all five feet of her, battles the big corporate entity a la Erin Brockovich. I smell OSCAR folks! So to persuade the folks at JPMorgan Chase to get off their duff and approve this short sell I am writing an open letter every time I post until they give me an answer.



See Mr. Lowman I decorated it all pretty like just to impress you! I wanted to go for the glittery letters but Rich, my husband, thought that that was too much. So you must remember grade school, right? The next step is for you to check one of those boxes (please, please, please check yes, I'll be your bff!) and see nowadays you don't have to hand it to your best friend that will hand it to my best friend who will in turn hand it to me. All you have to do is send it to krysta [@] evilchefmom [dot] com no embarrassing middlemen and I'll send you some of these.



island cookies: nestle toll house best ever cookies cookbook

makes about 3 dozen cookies

1 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) butter
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1/3 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 egg
2 cups chocolate chips
1 cup flaked coconut, toasted if desired
3/4 cup macadamia nuts, chopped

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a small bowl. Beat butter, brown sugar, sugar, and vanilla extract in a large mixer bowl until creamy. Beat in egg. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in chocolate chips, coconut, and nuts. Drop by slightly rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets. Bake in oven for 8-11 minutes or until edges are lightly browned. Let stand for 2 minutes, remove to wire racks to cool completely.



Tasting Notes: Repeat after me: "THE POWER OF THE COOKIE IS GREAT!!!"

a redux

So this is going to be redux. It might feel like cheating but I have two good reasons. I know you guys would rather have the cookies or ice cream but the imaginary conversation I'm having with you in my brain, it goes like this...

"Ahhhhh Krysta! Your killin' me. I didn't request this dish for you to post."

"I know but hear me out. See here's the deal. I got a email from Bec from Foodie with Family annnd she said she had a recipe right up my alley. She was right because it was almost like my recipe I posted a little over a year ago, except for a few differences. All good, of course and how could I not post it after she didn't win Jaden's contest to go see the a screening of...



I had to cheer her up somehow. It's kinda like this...



It really doesn't help but it's the thought that counts, right?

Foodie with Family's No Cook Pasta Sauce:

1 pound ripe plum tomatoes
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
7 fresh basil leaves
1/4 cup packed fresh parsley, chopped
2 cloves (or more) garlic, peeled
kosher or sea salt and pepper to taste
1 pound hot pasta, cooked and drained according to package directions

Trim a thin disc off of the stem end of each tomato. Stand tomato, cut surface down, and slice tomato in half. Use a the tip of a teaspoon or your fingers to remove the seed and pulp from the tomato halves. Slice tomatoes into long thin strips. Turn the strips 90 degrees and cut across the strips to dice your tomatoes into small cubes. Transfer tomatoes to a medium mixing bowl or container with a tight fitting lid. Place your parsley on the cutting board and top with your peeled cloves of garlic.Sprinkle lightly with about 1/2 teaspoon of salt and then lay the basil on top. The salt helps break down the garlic and herbs as you chop, so don’t skip it! Chop it all finely. Add herbs to the tomatoes.Add additional salt and pepper to taste. Don’t skip the salt! It helps pull moisture from all the ingredients and marry the flavors. Now just pour the olive oil over the whole lot. Toss gently; like a baby. Leave, tightly covered, at room temperature all day or in the fridge for at least 2 days to allow flavors to combine. To finish the dish, add the sauce to the bottom of a large bowl. Scoop the hot pasta which has been cooked and drained according to package directions directly on top of the No-Cook Pasta Sauce. And yes, it is crucial to use HOT pasta. The heat from the pasta helps take the edge off of the raw garlic. Again, toss gently; like a baby. (she doesn't condone baby tossing) Serve hot or room temperature.

Here's my old post which believe it or not with help from Melissa has probably became my most popular post via another food blog. Actually my most popular post period.

I'm not a good navel gazer. As a matter of fact, I'm horrible at it. No epiphanies come except that I have a innie and a few sit-ups probably wouldn't hurt. Then I think about dinner and then I start thinking about trinities.

Every religion has some sort of beads used for praying and also some sort of trinity. Here's mine...basil, tomatoes, and mozzarella cheese. Cliche? Oh no, no, no! This is the food of the gods, never has there been a greater combination than this... other than peanut butter and chocolate but that's not a trinity now is it? I eat this combination all summer long. I have it in a sandwich, I'll make a caprese salad and I'll make this dish.

I remember my step-momster making this when I was a kid. I'm not sure where she got the recipe but she used to peel the tomatoes and make a big production of it. Sorry, but why go through all that trouble of standing over a hot pot of boiling water? It's already hot outside and I want to go swimming. Forget about it! Just chop up the damn tomatoes and enjoy your day, it's summer for gosh sakes! Chill out.

ECM Trinity:


tomatoes. chopped into bite sized pieces
basil, chiffonade-ed? what is the correct term for that anyways?
grated mozzarella
olive oil
salt & pepper

Put tomatoes, basil, and mozzarella into a bowl. Add enough olive oil to coat the tomato mixture. Add salt and pepper to taste. Cover and refrigerate until ready to eat.

A couple of things: Notice I didn't give you measurements. This is just a throw together dinner. I go by proportions.

I used grape tomatoes in this dish. Every tomato has been pulled off the market and California was cleared from this stupid salmonella scare. Everyone is afraid to touch a damn tomato, but not me. Oh no, I go trying to find tomatoes (trying to cheat death) and all they have is those 3.99 a pound on the vine tomatoes and forget that...I'm not paying that much for a crappy tomato,and there was no farmers market, so what's a girl to do? Improvise! Grape tomatoes it is.

Use cheap mozzarella for this dish. Trust me, I've used fresh mozzarella and it's just wrong. Fresh mozzarella is beautiful and gentle and must be respected but in this dish she falls apart into a stringy, soggy, nasty mess.

Make this in the morning and let it sit in the fridge. The longer you let this sit, the better it tastes. Cook some pasta and toss this in and you have dinner. I eat it as a main dish and then I eat it for breakfast the next day, then lunch, then dinner again. Rinse, lather, and repeat. It's that good.


What's your holy (food) trinity?

*Update* You can tell this is an old post when the Great Tomato Scare of Aught 08 was going on. So use tomatoes!!!! And as for tasting notes... Make this or I'll kick you in the shins.

i'm a baaaad baaaad blogger...

this is what i haven't posted...

1. island cookies
2. coconut, vanilla bean, macadamia nut ice cream
3. cherry jam turnovers
4. we'll stay up late, swapping manly stories and in the morning i'm making waffles!
5. my mom's thousand island dressing
6. a redux
7. caprese panzanella salad
8. potatoes- girarrosto style

not pictured:

9. crumb buns (oh... get your mind out of the gutter!)
10. lemon fluff ice box pie

Which recipe do you want first? Because I'm really at a loss...

cappuccino granita

Okay, so it's hot. You know that, I know that. And according to the news everyone is broke, no one has job or will lose it soon, and Korea wants to seemingly start WWIII with us. My suggestion is to have cappuccino granita for breakfast. It solves everything, seriously. You go to your coffee shop to get some type of coffee drink anyways. Why not make it yourself and save the 4 dollars?



Biggie Biggie Biggie can't you see
Sometimes your words just hypnotize me
And I just love your flashy ways
Guess that's why they broke, and you're so paid

I know that's totally random but when I started mixing the ingredients it was swirly and beautiful. It hypnotized me. It looked like highly shellacked exotic wood. Purty.



I felt like I was looking into Kaa's eyes so I just had to take a picture. I did but I kept getting my reflection instead of all the swirls which was kinda cool in its own right but now as I type this it just sounds like I've been taking too many nips of the Kahlua. Whatever.



cappuccino granita: (recipe adapted from Urban Italian/method from The Perfect Scoop)

granita:

2 cups of freshly brewed coffee, cooled. I like this recipe.
2/3 cup of Kahlua, optional BUT I can imagine all sorts of boozy goodness could be added. Godiva Liqueur, for example.
1/2 cup of whole milk
1 tablespoon sugar

vanilla cream:

1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups heavy cream
2 tablespoons sugar
optional but I always add a splash of Grand Marnier to my whipped cream

for the granita:

Use a flat plastic container approximately 8-12 inches across, with a 2-quart capacity, with sides that are about 2 inches high. (Don't find out the hard way, trust me!)

Pour mixture into the dish and place in the freezer. Begin checking it after about an hour. Once it begins to freeze around the edges, take a fork and stir the mixture, breaking up the frozen parts near the edges into smaller chunks and raking them toward the center. Return the dish to the freezer, then check the mixture every 30 minutes afterward, stirring each time and breaking up any large chunks into smaller pieces with a fork, (i love this next line) until you have beautiful, fine crystals of homemade granita. (mmmm) If at any time the granita freezes too hard, leave it out at room temp for a few minutes until it softens back up to be stirred again.

whipped cream:

Add cream, vanilla, and sugar to stand mixer with whisk attachment. Whisk on medium high speed until mixture is fluffy. Spoon on top of granita.

Tasting Notes: Well worth the effort and makes me a happy camper in the morning. Did you think I was joking about having it for breakfast?

the muddle

I was doing some behind the scenes updating on my blog when I noticed that I do not have any cocktail recipes posted. Well, that is just wrong. So, to redeem myself I'm going to post the most perfect-est summery-est Fourth of July cocktail recipe ever.



This will make you feel like you should be summering in the picture above, in a white bikini that you look absolutely stunning in without an ounce of cellulite. Sexy not trashy. Glamorous yet casual. Like you are in some sort of gauzy lens shot of a Town and Country magazine spread with everyone laughing at some witty story you are telling about the time you ran into Prince William on a yacht in the middle of the nowhere with nothing but time on your hands.



Are you sold, yet?

the muddle: adapted from Bon Appetit july 2009

makes 6

1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup water
1 1/2 cup of chopped hulled strawberries (any fruit would be good in this but if you are feeling particularly patriotic add strawberries and blueberries)
6 thin lemon slices
1 750-ml bottle of chilled Prosecco
ice cubes

Stir sugar and water in a heavy small saucepan over medium-low heat until sugar dissolves. Increase heat and bring to a boil. Cool syrup.

Divide fruit among six 6-8 ounce glasses, add 1 tablespoon simple syrup to each and mash with a muddler or handle of a wooden spoon. Add lemon slice to each and mash to release flavor. Add several ice cubes to each glass, then fill Prosecco.



Tasting Notes: Really? The above description didn't do it for you? You need more info? Okay... the fizzy crisp Prosecco with a slice of lemon and some fruit bathing in this magical cocktail. Tasty and delicious and if you can't imagine that I don't think I can help you at all.

salsa- two ways

Most of you that have read this blog for awhile know that I am a Potato Ho but did you know I'm also a Tomato Ho? If you put a gun to my head and made me declare which one is my absolute favorite... I would be dead because, really, how could I choose? They are both quite lovely in their own way. I refuse to choose! (and I'm a poet that doesn't even know it) (because all that just rhymed)



When it's 111 degrees outside a perfect summer dinner is chips and salsa. That's it. It's too hot to think, it's too hot to cook, it's so hot that you don't want to even lift a fork to your mouth. Tortilla chips are the perfect delivery system... not too heavy to lift and no dishes to do.



salsa verde: (use this recipe more as a guideline, it's all about proportions or ratios)

20 small- medium tomatillos, husked and washed
2 jalapenos
1 bunch of cilantro, washed
1 medium sized white onion
juice of 2 limes
salt

raw version:

Roughly chop tomatillos, jalapenos, and onion. In a blender or food processor, combine the tomatillos, jalapenos, cilantro, onion, and lime juice. Pulse until it is a course puree. Season with salt.

roasted version:

Roast tomatillos in a 375 degree oven until bubbly and parts of the tomatillo are smoky black or caramelized. Cool. Transfer the tomatillos and the leftover juice into a food processor or blender and add remaining ingredients. Repeat above steps in the raw version.



simple salsa: (adapted from The Kitchy Kitchen)

1 28 oz can whole tomatoes
1 12 oz can whole tomatillos
3 jalapenos, start with 2 and if you want more heat add the 3rd
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 big bunch cilantro
1/2 a red onion
8 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons whole grain dijon mustard
2 teaspoons pico pica sauce
1/2 a lemon, juiced
a splash of worcestershire sauce
salt

Place jalapenos, cilantro, onion, and garlic into a food processor. Pulse for a few seconds. Next, pour the liquid in the can of tomatoes, plus 4 tomatoes, 4 tomatillos plus 1/4 cup of the pickling liquid into a food processor. Pulse. Add everything else that is remaining. Blend the whole thing and taste.



Tasting Notes: It's salsa. It's my salsa. Make it, enough said.