"it is a great thing to know the season for speech and the season for silence"

julia pfeiffer burns state park
hearst castle

6:26:09

dole pineapple whip

"I'm Tour Guide Barbie. Please keep your hands, arms, and accessories inside the car and no flash photography. Thank you."

In every family there are little nicknames, sayings, gestures, and inside jokes that are like secret languages and/or codes. Only to be deciphered by a few. Most of it not really funny unless you were there. Tour Guide Barbie is probably one of them.

In 2004 we went to Disneyland. It had been a pretty rough year and we were finally getting back on our feet financially. A twist of fate gave us free 3 day passes to Disneyland for the whole family. I jumped at the chance to go, it was a vacation that we needed but Rich wasn't really sure we should take. After struggling for a few years both of us were really gun shy about doing anything even remotely extravagant. I had pointed out that Rich hadn't been since Grad Night in *cough cough* 1980 and I hadn't been since roughly the same time but I was only 5 *cough cough cradle robber* That this would be Andrew, Will, and Nancy's first trip but Katie had already been to Disneyland a few times with her family/friends but still we hadn't been to Disneyland as a family. It was time.

Everyone was excited but Katie, in particular, was hopped up on some Disney-like high. If you have taken your kids to Disneyland, you know what I'm talking about, if not symptoms of a Disney high are nonstop talking, really bright but glazed over eyes that are always looking out for something (probably some Disney character or princess), constant fidgeting and lack of sleep because the kids and let's admit it, you too, are so excited.

Katie talked nonstop about what rides we needed to go on, what to see first, what to see last, what not to do. In other words... a very excited 11 year old girl WHO WOULDN'T SHUT UP and was driving her parents insane. I remember saying something along the lines of, "Hey Tour Guide Barbie, We've got plenty of time. Let's just explore the park." That day she so strongly resembled Tour Guide Barbie from Toy Story 2 that it became one of those family nicknames/code words. Being a little too bossy? Tour Guide Barbie. Too chipper and over excited? Tour Guide Barbie.



After a long day at the park, we were all a little tired, hungry, somewhat shell shocked, and needed a place to sit and gather ourselves. What better place is there to chill out at than the The Enchanted Tiki Room? It's cool, dark and you can sit for 20 minutes. As a bonus, you can eat inside Annnnnnd for an obscene amount of money you can get a slice of pineapple on a stick or Dole Pineapple Whip (pineapple soft serve ice cream)



dole pineapple whip:
Makes 4 quarts. If you have a two quart ice cream, freeze the other half.

4 cups Dole pineapple juice, well chilled
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
3 cups heavy whipping cream, well chilled
3 cups sugar

Mix the pineapple juice and sugar together, making sure that the sugar dissolves completely. Next add the cream and vanilla, stir until incorporated. (you might need to put mixture back into the refrigerator until well chilled) Freeze according to your ice cream makers directions.

Tasting Notes: Tastes like Disneyland. It doesn't require cooking and is great as a smoothie... take some soft serve, banana, pineapple (if you have it), ice cubes and pineapple juice. Mix it in a blender. Much better than anything you'd get at Jamba Juice.

potato ho-down... the big iffy questions

Welcome to the June Potato Ho-Down. Boring intro, I know but yesterday I was on the phone to one sister and when she asked about some plans, I told her "Let me just get through today and I'll let you know." Then I was on the phone with the other sister and said,"I'm sick of talking now so I'm hanging up." Rude, yes... but lately with everything going on there is no room for creativity. So this month I'm going to do something different. I'm going to ask those tough hard hitting potato questions, just think of it as a Barbara Walter's interview.



If you had to choose between tomatoes or potatoes, which would you choose?

The Daily Spud
Potato Mango Milkshake

A milkshake, with added potato? It's a prospect that has struck fear into the heart of grown men. Still, there's nothing to fear here. It's got honey, it's got fruit, it's got spuds and I'm guessing that it's now got your attention!



If you had to choose only one way to have your potatoes cooked for the rest of your entire life, which way would you have your potatoes? (fried, scalloped, mashed, ect?)

Sloopy Ann
The Other Side Of Fifty
Bacon Sauerkraut and Mashed Potato Cakes

Bacon, sauerkraut and mashed potato cakes. For when you're itching to get in touch with you inner German hausfrau self.



What potato dish do you think is God's and/or Satan's favorite?

Chad Denise
The Duo Dishes
Nopales and Cotija Salad with Spicy Cilantro Vinaigrette

Roasted, sweet veggies tossed with nopales leaves and cotija cheese! Drizzle on a spicy cilantro dressing, and you're all set




If you had to choose between Thomas Keller or Daniel Boulud cooking you a dish with potatoes, which chef would you choose?

Bunny Marie
Lisa is Cooking
Fennel and Parmesan Scalloped Potatoes

A golden-crusted potato and fennel dish that goes great with chicken.




If you were going to die tomorrow, what would be your last potato dish?

Potato Ho Frosty Gay
Big Sis Lil Sis
Breakfast Potato Pancake

I took a classic potato pancake recipe; simply added some cheese and bacon, baked until brown and crispy on top and nice and moist inside. Top it off with a nice spoonful of sour cream and some snipped chives and you’re good to go!

I only picked a little cheese and bacon off the top for myself and my son and hubby devoured the rest! So, I guess you could say that it was a hit.



Extra crispy french fries or regular french fries?

Peewee Ann
Life's a Feast
Potato Asparagus Salad with Crab and Smoked Salmon and Lemon Vinaigrette

A cool, adult salad with tender potatoes and asparagus, sweet cherry tomatoes and smoked salmon and fresh crab meat all in a cool, clean lemon vinaigrette.



To peel or not to peel, that is the question? By that I mean do you like potato peels or to they leave you cold?

Chube Gra
Erbe in Cucina
Tortilla de Patatas with Rosemary

It's a variation of the classic spanish potato tortilla, with the flavour of onion and rosemary.

THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION:

If you were a potato dish, what potato dish would you be?

Thank you everyone for participating. See you in July. (told you... no creativity whatsoever.)

ho-down...

hey guys,

potato ho-down will be posted some time wednesday morning. blame a sick kid, baseball tournament of champions, a waffling husband, kids on vacation that hog the computer, and one massive migraine.

krysta

char siu -glazed pork and pineapple buns- & hawaiian macaroni salad

[photos courtesy of my uncle gene]

Welcome to Hawaii Week on Evil Chef Mom.



"I'm shakin' the dust of this crummy little town off my feet and I'm gonna see the world. Italy, Greece, the Parthenon, the Colosseum. Then, I'm comin' back here to go to college and see what they know. And then I'm gonna build things. I'm gonna build airfields, I'm gonna build skyscrapers a hundred stories high, I'm gonna build bridges a mile long..." George Bailey... It's A Wonderful Life.

I don't know about you but ever since I have been a kid I have always had a list of places I wanted to travel to. This is what happens when you read National Geographic at an early age.

Italy
Scotland
Japan
Fiji
The Maldives
A safari in Africa
Petra, Jordan
India

I never wanted to go to Hawaii. Sorry, it just wasn't happening. In my mind every time I imagined Hawaii I saw crowded beaches and lots of pasty white tourists (me included). Having to hit all the major sites in packed tour buses, boats, or small planes. Not a tropical paradise by any stretch of the imagination.

And then a couple things convinced me otherwise. A friend of mine showed me her honeymoon pictures, there they were kayaking with no one for miles around... miles of pristine shoreline in the background with very few people. Then Will had to do a state report on Hawaii and started telling me about Molokai and Lanai... places he knew that would appeal to me. No stoplights, places with very few people, where Hawaiians go to get away. And then I saw my Uncle Gene's pictures. Well... now I am hooked. I want to go to Hawaii... so badly I can taste it.



char siu- glazed pork and pineapple buns-: sunset magazine june 2009

1/4 cup kosher salt
1/4 cup packed light brown sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract*
2 pork tenderloins (about 1 lb. each)
1/2 cup ketchup
1/2 cup hoisin sauce
2 tablespoons toasted sesame oil
2 tablespoons minced garlic
2 tablespoons minced ginger
2 tablespoons low-sodium soy sauce
12 slices of peeled and cored fresh pineapple
24 King's Hawaiian sweet rolls or other small soft rolls, warmed on the grill if you like
1 cup cilantro sprigs

*recipe calls for Hawaiian vanilla extract

Make brine: In a large pot, bring 3 1/2 cups water to a boil. Stir in salt, brown sugar, and vanilla. Chill until cool.

Put pork in a 9- by 13-in. pan and pour on brine. Chill at least 3 hours and up to 12.

Make char siu glaze: In a small bowl, mix together ketchup, hoisin, sesame oil, garlic, ginger, and soy sauce. Pour half the sauce into another small bowl.

Prepare grill for indirect medium heat (350° to 450°; you can hold your hand 5 in. above cooking grate only 5 to 7 seconds). Lay pork over indirect-heat area and cook, covered, until meat reaches 135° on a meat thermometer, 15 to 20 minutes.

Using a pastry brush and one bowl of glaze, cover pork with glaze, saving 2 tbsp. for the pineapple. Cook pork (if using charcoal, add 6 to 8 briquets to maintain temperature), turning occasionally, until glaze has caramelized slightly and meat thermometer reaches 145°, 5 to 10 minutes. Transfer pork to a cutting board, tent with foil, and let rest 15 minutes.

Lay pineapple slices on direct-heat area of grill, brush with 2 tbsp. reserved glaze, and cook, turning once, until grill marks appear, about 4 minutes per side. Remove slices from grill and cut in half.

Cut pork into 1/2-in. slices. Cut a deep diagonal slit across the top of each roll. Fill each roll with a piece of pork, half a grilled pineapple slice, a cilantro sprig, and 1/2 tsp. glaze from second bowl. Serve rolls with remaining glaze for drizzling.


hawaiian macaroni salad:

large macaroni
1/4 cup grated carrots
1 cup Best Foods mayonnaise
1/4 cup milk
salt & pepper

Cook macaroni till tender. Add grated carrots, mayonnaise,and milk till well coated. Salt & Pepper to taste.

Tasting Notes: Make this or I will kick you in the shins! This has been talked about in our house since we made it over a month ago. Matter of fact.... this is so good we have planned Katie's graduation party around this whole meal.

bbq beef short rib sandwiches

alternative title: krysta got played by a litle ol' woman

Today I went grocery shopping. Big grocery shopping, the grocery shopping for the week. For six people. You can imagine what my cart looks like.

I'm placing my groceries on the belt when I see a little old lady in a pink sweatsuit looking around for the shortest line. Giving me the old helpless lady look. That "I could be your Grandmother" look, the "I'm too frail to stand in line" look, the "didn't your parents teach you any manners" look. Her standing there with her little white envelope with a couple dollar bills in it and a package of cream cheese in her hands. So I ask her if she would like to go ahead of me.

"Thank you dear. My dog just got out of the hospital and I want to be by her side." (I cannot make this shit up if I tried)

Then she grabs her cart, HIDDEN in another line, WITH TWENTY ITEMS IN IT! (I know, I counted)

"I hope you don't mind." She tells me and proceeds to push all my items back to make room for hers.

Annnnnnd to add insult in injury after each items was scanned she wanted to make sure it was on sale, matched her coupons and paid for her groceries in change.



Except for the BBQ sauce, this really isn't a recipe more like a method...

Kansas City Sauce: adapted from Mastering Barbecue by Michael H. Stines

2 cups ketchup
1 1/2 cups dark brown sugar, firmly packed
3 tablespoons cayenne pepper sauce
1 yellow onion, chopped
5 cloves of garlic, minced
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
1 teaspoon sweet paprika
1/2 cup Dijon-style mustard
2 tablespoons cider vinegar
1/2 cup Worcestershire sauce

Combine all the ingredients in a saucepan. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a simmer for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Let cool, and transfer to a blender or a food processor and puree.

beef short ribs (I used 8 short ribs and it feed 6 of us with leftovers)
salt and pepper
olive oil

While you are making the bbq sauce...

Season short ribs liberally with salt and pepper.
Heat up a dutch oven or a heavy bottom pan.
Pour olive oil in pan and wait until the oil gets that shimmery look.
Taking two short ribs at a time, brown ribs well on all sides.
Drain on a paper towel.
Repeat until all the ribs are are brown.

HERE'S THE IMPORTANT PART!!!

Take out your slow-cooker and turn that bad boy to high temp.

Then place short ribs in a slow-cooker with three quarters of the bbq sauce and let it cook for three hours. Then turn the temp down to low and cook for another four to five hours.

Shred the meat. EAT.

Accompaniments:

pickles (save the juice for pretzels!)
thinly sliced red onions
shredded ice cold iceburg lettuce
Kaiser buns
extra bbq sauce

Tasting Notes: So a while back I said I only felt so-so about beef short ribs. That's what I wrote but what I didn't say was how I thought all y'all were a bunch of sheep bah-bah-bahing and following blindly everyone else in the "I Love Short Ribs" Club. I thought everyone was a bunch of suckers.

About that... I was wrong.

I was cooking them wrong.

I am now a sucker.

Bah bah bahhhhhh.

pickled pretzels

-these pretzels look innocent enough but in actuality they are secret taste ninjas going to do some kung fu moves on your taste buds-

KA-POW!!!

As always it starts with a story...

A couple weeks ago my dad and I got in an argument. I distinctly remember saying something along the lines of "This is a bunch of crap!" and a few other savory remarks.

I overreacted and should have kept my mouth shut whereas my dad should have just kept his mouth shut. (*waving Hi Dad!)

A week later he called...

"What are you doing?"

"Making pretzels." I said rather curtly [insert snarky-sarcastic tone here] because there is no way our heroine would ever, never ever hold a grunge over a stupid argument now would she?

"You know what would be good? Pickle flavoring like in those sunflower seeds you like."

"oh...." grudge over with.



I've made these pretzels 10 ways to Sunday.

-regular
-covered in chocolate with pink salt
-sprinkled with dill seed-salt and a little garlic powder
-and dipped in Cost Plus World Market Dark Chocolate Spread (which is totally different than Nutella and is highly addictive)



[buy the spread or else the bunny gets it!!!]
[don't make me hurt the bunny]
[come on, i'm really not that evil, i don't want to hurt the bunny]

and my favorite...

pretzels flavored with pickle juice...



-it's all about the mustard-

pickled pretzels: (adapted from smitten kitchen)

2 cups warm dill pickle juice* (you know the stuff that's left over from the jar of pickles) 100°F to 110°F
1 tablespoon + 2 tablespoons sugar
1 packet active dry yeast
5 to 6 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
1 tablespoon salt
2 teaspoons canola or other neutral oil
1/4 cup baking soda
1 large egg

*if you want to make regular pretzels use water instead of pickle juice and after coating the pretzels with egg wash but before placing them in the oven sprinkle with salt.

Pour warm water and 1 tablespoon sugar into bowl of electric mixer fitted with a dough hook and stir to combine. Sprinkle with yeast, and let sit 10 minutes; yeast should be foamy.

Add 1 cup flour to yeast, and mix on low until combined. Add salt and 4 cups more flour, and mix until combined, about 30 seconds. Beat on medium-low until dough pulls away from sides of bowl, about 1 1/2 minutes. Add another 1/2 cup flour, and knead on low 1 minute more. If dough is still wet and sticky, add 1/2 cup more flour (this will depend on weather conditions); knead until combined, about 30 seconds. Transfer to a lightly floured board, and knead about ten times, or until smooth.

Pour oil into a large bowl; swirl to coat sides. Transfer dough to bowl, turning dough to completely cover all sides. Cover with a kitchen towel, and leave in a warm spot for 1 hour, or until dough has doubled in size.

Heat oven to 450°F. Lightly spray two baking sheets with cooking spray Set aside. Punch down dough to remove bubbles. Transfer to a lightly floured board. Knead once or twice, divide into 16 pieces.

Roll one piece of dough at a time into an 18-inch-long strip. Twist into pretzel shape; transfer to prepared baking sheet. Cover with a kitchen towel. Continue to form pretzels; eight will fit on each sheet (you may need a third sheet if making miniatures). Let pretzels rest until they rise slightly, about 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, fill large, shallow pot with 2 inches of water. Bring to a boil. Add baking soda (it foams up, almost seems to explode which is fun to show the kids. a good little chemistry lesson.) and remaining 2 tablespoons sugar. Reduce to a simmer; transfer three to four pretzels to water. Poach 1 minute on each side. Use slotted spoon to transfer pretzels to baking sheet. Continue until all pretzels are poached.

Beat egg with 1 tablespoon water. Brush pretzels with egg glaze. Bake until golden brown, 12 to 15 minutes. Let cool on wire rack, or eat warm.

Tasting Notes: Garlicky, dilly, salty, savory... everything good about a pickle except the crunch (but in a good way)

I was thinking of rolling the pickle flavored dough around a hot dog and incorporating some mustard in there somehow.

-and for the sunflower seeds. Yes, they do make pickled flavored sunflower seeds BUT the David brand are for the birds you need to find the Spitz brand.

great grandma potter's wine cake

I remember the first time I heard this song...

My dad said, "Listen."

Maybe he was sick of me jabbering his ear off or maybe he thought I was finally old enough to enjoy this song.

"Listen and tell me if you can think of a better song than this."

I still can't.



There are foods that you can't remember the first time you had them, they have always just been there.

Present, sometimes they fall out of favor but you can never remember a time when they weren't in your life.

Then there are foods that you remember the first bite. This cake was and still is mine.

I was little when I first had this cake. I don't remember why or where I had it or even my age. I just remember three very distinctive memories.

The first was that is was shaped so differently. Welcome to the world of bundt pans! Every cake when you are small seems to be rectangular or a circle. This cake was 3-D! With bumps, ridges, and no frosting! Thank God. I really didn't and still don't care for frosting. It's a distraction from the good stuff. I know, I know, hearsay but sorry, frosting just isn't my thing.

But instead of frosting it had powdered sugar sprinkled on top. So different than the regular sugar you dumped on your Cheerios to make it palatable.

And the taste... sweet but adult like. It wasn't cloying like a kids birthday cake and I remember wanting to eat all of it. It was the first time that thought ever ran through my head. That if left alone with this cake I would eat it all and there wouldn't be a crumb left.

Then the cake was gone...

It disappeared. No one made it again. Our family wasn't a bunch of bakers or dessert eaters and I never knew what it was called and wasn't smart enough to ask after it.

Funnily enough every time I ate a bundt cake, I expected it to taste like that first cake. Every time I made a cake in a bundt pan, it never met my memories expectations(even the class valedictorian doesn't know how to write memories in possessive form... *cough cough* catherine.). It was a subconscious letdown. I could never place why it didn't taste the same.

In November, when my Grandmother was in the hospital and my Aunt Nancy found out I had a food blog, she asked if I had my Great Grandmother's wine cake recipe. Aunt Nancy explained that she and my mom always use to ask for her to make it for them. I asked her to email it to me and promptly forgot about it until Mother's Day when looking for something different to do for my mom.

I made the cake.

:::

I wasn't expecting much but when the cake came out of the oven, the smell triggered something in my subconscious. My brain yelled out, "This is what you remember!!!! THIS IS THAT CAKE!"

I took a bite and sure enough it was.

Then I promptly made another just for myself to celebrate.

It might not be Proust's madeleine but it is close enought for me.



great grandma potter's wine cake:

1 package of yellow cake mix
1 package of instant banana pudding
3/4 cup dry sherry
4 eggs
1 teaspoon lemon zest

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Mix ingredients together. Place batter in a greased bundt pan. Bake for approximately 45 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the middle of the cake comes out clean. When cool, remove from pan and dust with confectioners sugar.

Tasting Notes: I really don't think I need to say more but if pressed I would say that while some people have their house wine, house dressing, or some such thing... this would be the cake you will now always find on my cake stand... if it lasts that long.