The Fat Lady Has Sung and Has Left The Building

Okay, I'm alive. Deep breath Krysta... find your peaceful inner self because ECM Hulk is not pretty.



ECM Hulk MAD!

ECM HULK SMASH!

What's this all about? Well, at the end of soccer season comes the requisite end of the year party. Mmmm, fun.

Let me explain...

ECM's Cliff Notes Quentin Tarantino Version:

Krysta took pictures of all 16 girls + coaches and parents all season long. From August '08 to Jan '09. 5 months of pictures an average of 100 pictures per game with at least two games every weekend for five months (some times we had 4 games in a weekend). I mentioned 5 months, right? No one else took pictures, including the mom with the very, very, very nice camera with lens that she doesn't deserve. I have lens envy. Lots of pictures, lots of space on my computer taken up by soccer. When I say my life is taken over by soccer, I AM NOT KIDDING.

COMPUTER CRASHES! OH THE HORROR.

Krysta mad, Krysta curse and smash. Our heroine is temperamental. Huge Character flaw.

Krysta asks dumb male soccer coach about end of year party. Dumb male soccer coach says and I quote, "We won't be having it until Mid- February"

Krysta breathes huge sigh of relief because she has time to make separate photo cds of all the girls during the games. With individual photos and team photos and photos with the girls and their families. Nice, huh?

Krysta gets email... Dated Jan. 26th

Wait for it... Wait for it...

"End of team party will be held on January 31 at 1:00 pm"

MOTHERFUCKER! GOD DAMN SON OF A BITCH COCKSUCKER!

On the plus side...the project is done because put me under pressure and give me a deadline and I kick ass. Brushing dust of my shoulder.




*like zoe... but this you tube video doesn't not have when she jumps up and says "I'm OKAY" at the end.

BEST CAR CHASE SCENE EVER. Gives me chills every time I watch it. She did her own damn stunts and no cgi.

Onto what I am suppose to write about. I'm sure all of you have seen the meme that a fellow blogger interviews you and asks you 5 questions. So I have the honor of being interviewed by Mayberry Magpie. A few words about Ms. Joan hopefully without offending any other faithful readers and bloggers. I know that there are bloggers I would love to meet and others that I'm not sure about. I think you know what I mean. You wouldn't be sure if they are, in person, what they are like on their blogs. I don't get that from Joan. I'd probably give her a huge hug and then move in because we would be BFF's. There would be the four J's and 1 K. (It does have a nice ring to it... right, Joan?) She seems authentic and genuine (I know they mean the same thing but I'm trying to get my point across) and her writing is beautiful. Just read this post. After I get done reading her blog, I feel like my blog needs to take a bath in Purell and I shouldn't be writing anymore. So when she says she likes my blog, I blush.

1. What thing would you most like to do when your four sous-chefs are raised and you suddenly find yourself with time on your hands?

I dream of this when all day long they've been at each others throats.

People tell me that I will miss them when they are gone... yes and no. I always thought 'mom' was one of many hats I wore, not something that defined me wholly as a person. I want to do lots of things but right now I am restrained by their needs and wants. And that's okay. I hope that I can give them all the skills and, ahem... love, that they need so when they do go out in the world they won't need me. When that day happens... I'm getting a Jeep Wrangler and going on the open road with my camera, laptop, and a suitcase. With my cell phone close by... because you never know when those sous chefs are going to need their mom.

going... anywhere, everywhere...

2. What is one thing about your character (something you are proud of) that you believe is the result of a lesson learned at a young age?


Nothing, I am still trying to undo the damage.

3. If someone promised to give you $500 tomorrow, but the condition is you must spend all the money on yourself, what would you buy?

a meal at the French Laundry
camera equipment
a massive spending spree on Amazon or Barnes & Noble or iTunes

4. What cooking experience was most like losing your virginity?

When I first read this question I laughed and laughed...

Mom and Kids stop reading now!

I lost my virginity at 15... Unexperienced... Too Immuture

Boyfriend was 6'4"... Umm how do I say this delicatly... big. Where I know I thought about how this might not be such a good idea... Get that thing away from me...Painful.

Fumbling with condoms

Lost my virginity at my mom's house... Nervous.

Unexperienced+Immuture+Painful+Fumbling+Nervous+ Sweaty= Baking bread or pie crusts.

I feel like a 15 year old virgin every time I make bread or pie crusts. Hoping it's going to be this big transforming experience and it's just clammy, disappointing, painful. The only thing baking bread has going for it, is you don't have to worry about getting pregnant while doing it.

5.What’s the one thing you hope people say about you at your funeral?

I have it all scripted out.

I know what music I want played...

Green Day, Good Riddance, Time of Your Life

When The Saints Go Marching In... preferably with a brass band playing New Orleans style

Any Nike Drake

Talking Heads, Same As It Ever Was

David Byrne, Glass, Concrete, and Stone

I really want everyone to be wearing fun colors none of this black crap... and jeans...

Here's Rich and my tombstones...(this is not a joke)


I hope my kids say I was a good mom.

I hope my grand kids say I was a fun/cool/awesome/bad ass grandma.

I hope my husband says I was his soul mate and best friend.

Do you want to be interviewed by me?

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions. Be sure you link back to the original post.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Menu Preview:

Brussel Sprout Hash
English Muffin Bread
Dark Chocolate Tart w/ pretzel crust
Cheap Osso Buco

If It's Not One Thing, It's Another...

I am afraid to even touch my computer. I lost over half my photographs. That's over 1000 photos. Most of them were for a project I am doing for my daughters soccer team. Way to fuck it all up Krysta! Woo-Hoo.

I am having sexual fantasies about the crew from This Old House. Right now nothing would be sexier than a guy in a flannel shirt-no ass-plummer's butt-tool belt wearing guy with a Northeastern accent. I would have sex with him right there on the front porch if they would fix everything that is wrong with this house! And I think Rich would let me just so he can get out of fixing something, anything.

And add to that sexual fantasy, someone wearing a pocket protector that could give me all my photos back, give me more memory, and a wicked fast computer.

Is it illegal to trade sex for services rendered? If both parties agree to it... there shouldn't be a problem, right?

I would give up my left pinkie if my kids could get along for 24 hours... straight. I'm thinking of selling you to the highest bidder if you don't shut up already! My god, I could stab my eardrums out with a dull pencil.

I'd give my right pinkie if the loan lady would call back and that house would come on the market. (Mom, get the axe ready!)

And to the dude who carded me. You're joking, right? Kids don't buy expensive bottles of bourbon that have been aged for a decade. They buy the cheap ass shit because a.) that's all they can afford and b.) they want to get drunk fast with some nasty ass tasting shit like Mickey's Big Mouth. If you're trying to flirt, get a better line. If not, then you a dumb shit. I have white hair that you can see, for christ sake. I look older than 21, dumbass. It makes me want to reach over the counter and slap you for being a fucking moron.

I forgot the potato ho down... again. I am not worthy of being a ho. It's pathetic.

My little chihuahua snores louder than my husband.

Can you get the vocal cords removed from a cat without it being called animal cruelty? Because if she jumps on me and starts meowing in my face in the middle of the night while I am sleeping one more time, I am going to get all Jean Claude Van Damme on her ass.

If the kid I give a ride to school every Thursday morning doesn't start being on time and saying thank you for the ride once in a while, I might have push him out of the car while I'm going 25 miles per hour just to teach him some manners. Little punk.

Any rants you'd like to share?

what a speech! that speech gave us all a spanking. wake up, work hard, love our country, don't blame others for your problems, don't screw with us, speak softly... carry a big stick, help, participate, be vigilant, keep a watchful eye.

and that poem... "repairing the things in need of repair" and "the figuring it out at kitchen tables."

Say it plain, that many have died for this day.
Sing the names of the dead who brought us here,
who laid the train tracks,
raised the bridges,
picked the cotton and the lettuce,
built brick by brick the glittering edifices they would then keep clean and work inside of.
Praise song for struggle.
Praise song for the day.

and the benediction at the end...

wow.

live blogging... sort of.

i woke up at five am, fired up and ready to go. i don't EVER wake up fired up and ready to go but i did this morning. i also don't let my kids skip school either but i figured today, if any, would be the day to skip. going out to breakfast and coming home to watch something that is bigger than all of us. how exciting is it to be an american today!!!!

leftovers...

i haven't done one of these in a while....



this picture makes me smile. oranges taste like the sun, look like the sun. bright, sweet, and warm tasting just what you need for winter.



state quarterfinals. they lost but you know what? last year nancy's team lost every game and this year they went to state. pretty damn good if you ask me.



a view from atop mount diablo, ca. you know the pilot that just landed that plane in hudson? he lives in danville... which is located a little northeast of mount diablo. also, while not the tallest mountain it does have the largest viewshed of the western u.s.



i always wanted to take picture standing in the middle of the road, without, hopefully, getting hit by a car. i finally did. my life is now complete.



i have no clue what this flower or weed is. it's just pretty.



the fun thing about driving down highway 1 is that sometimes while you are driving, you can pull over and stop and find an path that leads you to a solitary cove.



it might be a fifty foot, very slippery, rocky, steep path that you might break your leg going down but well worth it in the end.






or you can find a beautiful wetsuited/barefoot couple looking for the next wave to surf.



nancy's feet.






right now this is my favorite picture of katie or this one...






pillar point, princeton-by-the-sea, ca.



i don't which picture of the sunset i like the best. decide for me.



my kids. holding the sun. peaceful, happy, having fun, relaxed. anything is possible with the right perspective.

Pyrex Doesn't Break

*you too can obamicon yourself... after you read this post.

On Christmas Day, my grandmother asked me where I learned to cook. It's not that my family are bad cooks, it's just that it a big passion of mine and it had to come from somewhere, right?

"Probably Ed." I told her.

"Oh, I forgot about him."

"I try to too."

For people that have read my blog for a long time, Ed is my biological father and you can read about him here and why I try to forget him too. But the funny thing is the kitchen at my dad's house is where nothing bad happened. Think of it as a demilitarized zone in the Fortune household. Which is a big relief if you ever lived in a place where you walked on pins and needles because you don't know how your father was going to act on a day-to-day basis. It's a certain type of crazy that I cannot even begin to describe on this blog. I'm not sure how much my grandmother knows but I'm sure she can guess at some of it. I don't need a psychologist to tell me why I love cooking. It was a safe place even with all the knives and heat. Except for pyrex. Pyrex in the hands of some people can be very dangerous. Let me explain.



I was about sixteen and had been living at my dad and stepmom's for a couple of months, after everyone told me don't do it. Even my grandma who never said anything bad about anyone, ever. Even she tried to tell me it was a bad idea. Everything was going along well enough for a girl of 16. No supervision, parents always working, until I decided to borrow my dad's car. You know borrow as in "without permission" or "it's not stealing if you return it before they know." How about we call it, taking the parents car out for a joyride? My friends and I took my dad's car out for a joy ride. Fun... until we wreck the damn thing in Manteca (about 20 minutes away from Stockton) and ran. I remember we jumped a curb, hit a fire hydrant that took out the back axle. So there was major damage. I did what all kids do in this kind of situations, I called mom. I remember her coming to pick us all up and there wasn't much talking going on. It was a long ride back to my dad's and I'm sure you can guess I didn't want to even leave the confines of the car. If my mom knew what was going on at my dad's house she, I would like to think, would have never dropped me off back at my dad's house.

It was a long night. (glossing over the not so funny parts) Eventually, my dad, stepmom, and I ended up in the kitchen cooking dinner. Which was good because I knew I was safe for a time being until....

My stepmom, out of the blue, throws a Pyrex measuring glass at my head while screaming like a fucking banshee "You wrecked my car!" Everything happened fast after that. I ducked and thought, "Holy shit! She just threw a measuring glass at my head. Thank God she throws like a girl and missed." It was quiet for a millisecond. You know that millisecond of shock when you can hear a clock tick... when a situation can get really ugly, really fast or everyone can do nothing but laugh because what else is there to do?

"What do you mean your car?" my dad screamed back at her.

"Uh-oh, this can't be good. Here we go... round two" I remember thinking, bracing myself for another round of shit about to hit the fan with me as the target. But I hadn't really heard right because it suddenly dawned on me that my dad wasn't yelling at me, he was yelling at her. Not because she threw something at me, like you would think a father should defend a daughter but because she worded a sentence wrong. He was mad because she said I wrecked her car. Her car. Not their car but her car. Ooops. Picture me like Jerry the mouse slowly tiptoeing backwards out of the kitchen so as not to get in the middle of their argument. I had had enough for the night and if the focus was on someone else, it wasn't my problem.

(If you need to know, I never once saw my dad hit my stepmom but at the same time when my dad wasn't so nice to me she never stepped in. So you can understand why I was like... every man for themself.)

The lesson is Pyrex doesn't break even when chucked at your head.



Banana Crunch Bread and/or Muffins: (based on Ina Garten's Banana Crunch Muffins, The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook)

*this recipe made 1 loaf of bread and 12 regular sized muffins

3 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 pound unsalted butter, melted and cooled
2 extra-large eggs
3/4 cup whole milk
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 cup mashed ripe bananas (2 bananas)
1 cup medium-diced ripe bananas (1 banana)
1 cup small-diced pecans
1 cup sweetened shredded coconut

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Sift the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt into the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Add the melted butter and blend. Combine the eggs, milk, vanilla, and mashed bananas, and add them to the flour-and-butter mixture. Scrape the bowl and blend well. Don't over mix. Fold the diced bananas, pecans, and coconut into the batter. Grease and flour a 9x 5 loaf pan. Spoon half the batter into loaf pan and bake at 350 for approximately 50-60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean. With the other half of the batter pour into paper liners, filling each one to the top. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until the tops are brown and a toothpick comes out clean. Cool slightly, remove from the pan, and serve.

*Tasting Notes: This is my go-to banana bread recipe. The bread and muffins both has this slight sugary crust that's snaps when you bite into it. Then banana nirvana, with a touch of coconut and pecan.

Have Your Cinnamon Roll Cookies and Eat Them Too!

So, I don't even know where to begin... other than I obviously don't pay attention to diddly squat. To be honest, I don't watch much television and I haven't been listening to the radio as much either. So what I heard this morning, kinda shocked me.

Driving home after dropping Katie off from school and paying attention to nothing in general, I hear this commercial, "I love my wife but she's my best friend. There's no sizzle." and "I'm married but looking for more."

"Ooooookay" I think to myself trying to shake the morning cobwebs out of my head. Maybe I misheard, maybe it was some obnoxious radio DJ doing some stupid phony commercial, maybe I needed a cup of tea. But I didn't need a cup of tea, it wasn't an obnoxious DJ and I hadn't misheard. There's a website for married people to hook up with other married people. Didn't they used to do that in the 70's with key parties? Anyways, think of it as e-harmony but for a married person looking for someone else to have sex with no strings attached.

At seven in the morning, I could barely wrap my head around this notion. I know people have affairs all the time but isn't it suppose to be on the down low.... off the record, on the QT, and very hush-hush? This ad was very disturbing in it's frankness, to be honest. I mean, I of all people, love frankness but this felt dirty even for someone, who on more than one occasion, has been accused of having no morals and very low standards.

On their website, they offer you a 100% affair guarantee! I guess that's a bonus and if you don't get some of that affair action you were looking for, do you get your money back? That's what I want to know. And as an extra bonus, Ashley Madison uses "Life is short. Have an affair." as their slogan. Life is going to be real short for someone with a spouse who has a bad temper and a shotgun. I see dead people and lawsuits.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who hasn't heard of Ashley-Madison because right about now I feel really old and out of touch. Shocked, I tell you, shocked!

So I bet your wondering how I am going to tie in having an affair with cinnamon roll cookies? Well, this is like having your cake and eating it too. If you cut these cookies a little thicker than what is called for they are like a little mini cinnamon rolls and if you cut them a little thinner than called for you have a nice tender but crispy cookie.



Cinnamon Roll Cookies: Culinary Concoctions by Peabody

(A couple notes. First, this recipe does have a recipe for icing but I don't like icing on my cookies, so I didn't include it here because I didn't make the icing. Duh! But the link does have the recipe. And...of the three times I made this recipe, never once did I added half the cinnamon filling on the outside of the roll like the recipe calls for. So I didn't include that in this recipe either. Also, I suck at baking because Peabody's look so much better than mine. Mine look like when you come home with an art project in first grade and your mom says, "That's beautiful, dear. You are so artistic." while trying to keep a straight face. Yeah, mine are artistic, that's what I keep trying to tell myself. Denial is a very powerful river in Egypt.)

Filling:

1/2cup sugar
2 tbsp ground cinnamon
juice from half a orange
and a little bit of freshly grated orange rind

For the dough:

3 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp ground cinnamon
½ tsp salt1 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract

Combine sugar, 2 tbsp cinnamon, orange juice and freshly grated orange rind in a small bowl and set aside. Whisk flour, baking powder, 1 tsp cinnamon, and salt together for the dough in a bowl, set aside. Cream butter and brown sugar in a bowl with a mixer until smooth. Add the eggs and vanilla; mix until incorporated. With the mixer on low speed, add the dry ingredients, blending just to incorporate; do not over mix.

Trace a 16-x-9-inch rectangle on a sheet of parchment or wax paper. Pat the dough into the rectangle using your hands.



Then sprinkle the cinnamon mixture over the dough.



Beginning on a long side and using the paper to help you, roll the dough into a log. Wrap log in plastic and chill for at least 3 hours.



Preheat oven to 350F; line two baking sheets with parchment paper. Slice chilled dough into 1/4-inch thick slices and arrange on prepared baking sheets, spacing 1 inch apart. Bake 10-12 minutes, or until golden brown. Let cookies cool on the pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to a rack.



Tasting Notes: You've got cinnamon rolls in my cookies! You've got cookies in my cinnamon rolls! They are that good.

evil chef mom, unplugged

it's been really quiet around here. everyone is getting back into the swing of things. rich is back to working nights, the kids are back to school, our phone is still down, and our internet is still spotty. we are unplugged and it's nice but it's only until thursday when at&t finally comes.



i have a nice quiet winter recipe for you. easy and comforting. a nice meal for sitting around the fire with your hands around a warm bowl... a good crusty loaf or bread... a glass of wine... maybe a green salad if you have the energy... maybe just a good book to read while your eating.


*it tastes better than it photographs.

Cannellini Beans with Rosemary:

2 cups dried cannellini beans
2 teaspoons kosher salt
3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil, plus more for end
4 cloves garlic... 2 smashed and 2 chopped (2 smashed will go in pot to boil the beans, the 2 chopped will be to saute at the end)
3 bay leaves (mine were small. 2 large bay leaves would probably work. 2 to boil with the beans, one will be to finish off at the end)
chicken or turkey stock or water
rosemary, a couple small sprigs will do
parmigiano-reggiano cheese

rinse beans in colander, picking out any broken beans or pebbles. transfer into a bowl, cover with cold water and let soak overnight.

drain beans and transfer to a large pot. add stock or water to cover beans by an inch or two. add the two smashed garlic cloves and 2 bay leaves to the beans and place over high heat and bring to a boil. skim off any foam that comes to the surface. adjust the heat to a low simmer and cook uncovered for 2 hours cook until tender, skim if needed.

remove from heat and stir in salt. let the beans stand in their cooking liquid for 30 minutes. drain beans reserving 3/4 cup of cooking liquid.

in pot, heat olive oil over medium heat. add 2 chopped garlic cloves, bay leaf, and rosemary until garlic is translucent. stir in beans and 3/4 cups of cooking liquid and simmer, stirring gently until the beans are creamy but still hold their shape. add more liquid, stock, or water if beans are too thick. salt and fresh ground pepper to taste.

to serve: ladle beans into a warmed bowl. (making sure to take out bay leaves and rosemary out before serving) drizzle a little olive oil and some parmigiano-reggiano cheese on top.



i am now a believer... everything you have ever heard about rancho gordo beans are true. just buy some and try them out, you'll thank me in the morning.



say hello to my wooden kimono doll. she needs a name. the background is a painting littlest sous chef nancy painted for me. it's a swirl of reds, oranges, and yellows. i need to frame the painting and find it a good home.

Armageddon Outta Here

What happens when you listen to the band Cake when you make brownies?

"Apparently the apocalypse" or so Nancy says.

Let's list everything that has happened since we last made these brownies.

• Hot water handle in the shower broke...twice.



• This was the temperature in the kitchen... at 2:30 in the afternoon...(Take that Kristin! Not as cold as Blackrock but I do live in California. Shocking, I know!)

• While Nancy was helping me make these brownies, she dropped a brand new 10lb. package of flour on the kitchen floor.

• This also happened...



• I have ran out of olive oil, eggs, flour (duh), and paper towels... something that never happens unless there's an apocalypse at hand.

• The dining room light switch is broken.

Annnnnnnnnnnndddd......

• My next door neighbor side-swiped my car. Not too bad but enough that insurance and a visit to the body shop are in my imminent future unless the apocalypse happens first.

Never listen to Cake while making brownies, nothing good can come out of it. Except singing "Healthy breasts that bounce!" That is fun to sing, just try not to do it in the express lane at the grocery store. It can be a little embarrassing. Then again maybe nothing good can come out of listening to Cake.

Before I start, I need to disclose that there are obscene amounts of butter and chocolate... like a Paula Deen recipe. Some people say she's the apocalypse but I think all the butter, mayo, and fried stuff are just a way of showing her love for us. Because nothing says love more than a quadruple by-pass.



Armageddon Outta Here Brownies: (loosely based on Ina Garten Outrageous Brownies, The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook)

1 pound unsalted butter
1 pound plus 12 ounces Hershey's Special Dark chocolate chips, divided
6 ounces bittersweet chocolate
6 extra-large eggs
2 tablespoons real vanilla extract
2 1/4 cups sugar
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, divided (1 cup for batter and 1/2 cup in the chips and nuts)
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon kosher salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour a 13 by 18 by 1 1/2-inch sheet pan. Melt together the butter, 1 pound chocolate chips, and unsweetened chocolate on top of a double boiler. Cool slightly. Stir together the eggs, vanilla and sugar. Stir in the warm chocolate mixture and cool to room temperature. Stir together 1 cup of the flour, baking powder and salt. Add to cooled chocolate mixture. Add 12 ounces of chocolate chips with 1/2 cup flour to coat. Then add to the chocolate batter. Pour into prepared pan. Bake for twenty minutes, then rap the baking sheet against the oven shelf to force the air to escape from between the pan and the brownie dough. Bake for about 15 minutes more, until a toothpick comes out clean. Allow to cool thoroughly, and cut into 20 large squares.

Tasting Notes: You need a glass of milk with these brownies, is all I'm saying.

Slow & Low, That Is The Tempo

These next three recipes that I will be posting have been tried and tested over and over and over again. Let's start with this one. So easy and crazy good.



Actually, I'm ticked off that I didn't...

A. Make this sooner

and

B. Post about it before New Year's.



I saw this Baked Sweet Walla Walla Onion Dip on White on Rice's blog almost a year ago and there it sat in the back of my mind for MONTHS. Wow, was that ever a mistake.

For Christmas, my mom asked if I could bring over an appetizer and instead of bringing over the usual hot spinach and artichoke dip or something like that, I decided to make this onion dip instead and it didn't disappoint. It was gone, POOF! It just disappeared. Katie who watched me make it said something along the lines of, "Wow, I didn't think it was going to be that good. It was too easy to make."




*bouchon by thomas keller and yes, i was a very good girl this year

So then I was reading my new Christmas present and there was Thomas Keller waxing poetic about caramelized onions for French Onion Soup. Mr. K (sounds mysterious and intimidating kinda like Reservoir Dogs except without all the blood and gore and Mr. Pink. If you really know your French Laundry trivia you will see the connection!) Let's get back on topic... Mr. K was talking about if you caramelize onions correctly it creates the fundamental excellence of an onion soup. If you are patient and cook them slow and low, you are 75% of the way to a really good soup. Then a light bulb went off, "Holy shit! Why don't I caramelize the onions for the dip next time?" and so I did.

Mr. K talks about the need to caramelize the onions for four hours. Yeah, umm, about that. I have four sous chefs that are willing to help, they are not willing to stand at a stove for four hours caramelizing onions. That's called child slavery. When you work for Mr. K that's called an honorable learning experience! Either way this onion dip is great.



White on Rice's Baked Walla Walla Sweet Onion Dip:

1 8 oz package of cream cheese (very softened)
1 cup mayo (preferably Best Foods brand)
1 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
1 cup diced or chopped sweet onion.
1 tablespoon fresh cracked black pepper
Crusty bread or crackers

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. In bowl, place softened cream cheese. The cream cheese must be very, very, soft (like spreadable butter) to allow all ingredients to blend evenly together. If your cream cheese needs to soften more, place in microwave for a few seconds. Add mayo, parmesan cheese, onions and fresh cracked black pepper to soft cream cheese till everything is mixed thoroughly. Place mixture in ramekins or any oven safe dishes. Bake slowly, for about 30-45 minutes for all ingredients to cook together. When the top crust is brown, almost burnt looking then the dip is ready. The darker brown the crust of the dip becomes, the better the flavors are cooked. Serve with your favorite bread and crackers.

Baked Caramelized Onion Dip: Inspired By White on Rice & Thomas Keller's Bouchon Cookbook

3 tablespoons olive oil
3 tablespoons butter
2 yellow onions or Walla Walla Onions chopped
1 8 oz package of cream cheese (very softened)
1 cup mayo (preferably Best Foods brand)
1 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
1 tablespoon fresh cracked black pepper
Crusty bread or crackers

Place butter and olive oil into a heavy pan. Over medium-low heat, melt butter and olive oil. Place onions into pan and slowly cook onions until they are caramelized, about an hour. While the onions are cooking, pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. In bowl, place softened cream cheese. The cream cheese must be very, very, soft (like spreadable butter) to allow all ingredients to blend evenly together. If your cream cheese needs to soften more, place in microwave for a few seconds. Add mayo, parmesan cheese, onions and fresh cracked black pepper to soft cream cheese till everything is mixed thoroughly. Place mixture in ramekins or any oven safe dishes. Bake slowly, for about 30-45 minutes for all ingredients to cook together. When the top crust is brown, almost burnt looking then the dip is ready. The darker brown the crust of the dip becomes, the better the flavors are cooked. Serve with your favorite bread and crackers.

Tasting Notes: Did I tell you it's a hit? Did I also tell you it was super easy to make? Well then, what are you waiting for?

How many times did I write caramelize? 8 or 9... I lost count.

a new year...

*coming soon to a food blog near you!


a new look! I'm a constant tinker-er? (is that a even a word?) But the point is while I liked my layout, I wasn't in love with it... if you know what I mean. I'm sure some things are screwed up but I'm trusting you to let me know what's wrong. I already know about the feeds and my blog roll being down and I really don't want to fix it or start from scratch... some people would say I sabotaged it but really I didn't! You must believe me! (the lady doth protest too much.)

So, for the twentieth time, look around, enjoy. I've gotta go cook!