11/2/09

bitch, you better go back to walmart and buy some more candy!



so... my neighbors.

my neighbors warned me about halloween. they did. it was like any horror movie where the old timer sitting there in his rocker chewing on a piece of straw warns the newlyweds stopping by his general store to pick up provisions says something in that long slow drawl of his...

"so. you must be the guerreros's. i heard you are renting the manson mansion up on redrum hill on elm street in the town of amityville located right here in bastrop texas. you might want to be careful, some say that place is haunted."

and the guerrero's get into the car and drive away, laughing at the man in the rocker because of his slow drawl. i'm mean come on the guerrero's are urbane and from the city, they have seen it all, right?



ummmm.... no. halloween is INSANE in this neighborhood. i was tapped out of candy in an HOUR. over a thousand pieces of candy handed out one by one and i was out in an hour.

it was like ghetto disneyland.

people driving in swarms into the neighborhood, parking and drinking 40's while their kids walk the neighborhood trick or treating (see bad picture above) or walk with their kids, drinks in hand, like our neighborhood was bourbon street and it was mardi gras. then, i love this part, driving off with kids in tow after they pillaged our neighborhood.

visigoths at their finest!

at one point you could not walk down the street or sidewalks it was so packed with people.

when i ran out of candy, i closed up shop. blew out the candles in the pumpkins and turned off the porch light. while i was doing this a little girl came up to me and said trick or treat and the rest of the conversation follows...

"i'm sorry sweetie. i'm out of candy."

her mom comes up and says, "bitch you better go to walmart and buy some more candy."

i tried to explain that i had bought a hundred dollars worth of candy and i wasn't running back to the store for more, sorry.

she was more than irate. i can't tell you why... was it that i wasn't going back to the store? or wasn't intimidated by her? maybe because she wasn't getting something for free? that it was one less piece of candy she couldn't pilfer from her daughters candy bucket? maybe because the assumption is that this is a rich neighborhood so i could afford to buy more candy?

i went inside and closed the door and turned off the lights and taped a note on my door that said 'out of candy'.

my neighbors warned me... next time i will pay more attention.



the kiss tribute band was awesome!


*this post on many levels sounds snooty... i wanted to clarify that we had lots of fun up until the end. it's true about how one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch.




20 comments:

Rebecca said...

Seriously serious? That is just wrong. Didn't her Mama ever tell her you don't get what you want by being nasty?

maybelle's mom said...

next year maybe budget budget candy? n&ns, snokers, murs bars...

Krysta said...

@maybelle's mom... i did do budget candy... those huge bags! got everything on sale. 20 bags worth.

katie said...

You know, I got so many teenagers with out costumes and requests for beer last year that I just said screw it this year. But yeah I totally walked my kids around with the neighbors-margarita in hand. ;)

Melissa said...

I would never ever ever ever spend $100 on candy for my neighborhood. You're a more generous woman than I.

And I would have flipped out on that woman, if not for her little girl standing there.

Hooray for ghetto Disneyland!

Lisa@The Cutting Edge of Ordinary said...

That's just crazy! Maybe that bitch who was so rude to you should have stayed home and passed out candy, lol.

Melissa said...

daaaang. FUN neighborhood, seriously.
I got EIGHT trick or treaters.
EIGHT.
Well 10 if you count my own daughter and her friend.
I still have the rest of the bag of 60 suckers I bought from the dollar store.
Wtf am i gonna do with it? i dunno.
I wish we lived in a neighborhood where everyone carved pumpkins and ghetto people came to get the soul-food.

Oh, PS: Few years ago, I worked late, came & met up w/ my ex-husb who, with a friend, had taken our kids trick-treating...... And both men had beers in their hands. Nay, Both men were DRUNK. The kids had eaten at least half their candy and were talking so fast they couldnt even understand themselves.
I wanted to die.

HAPPY HALLOWED till next year!!!

SaintTigerlily said...

I am suddenly very glad I don't get trick-or-treaters. I spent my evening eating roast chicken, drinking champagne and watching 30 Rock with my mom and husband. Very nice indeed!

Cali said...

that is seriously hilarious!! i think i actually have friends who would do that...lmao.

Amy said...

What a bummer to end on a low note. Poo poo on that snotty woman - let's hope she eats too much candy and ends up on the toilet for an hour. Or two.

tamilyn said...

Get out of freaking town-she actually said that to you? Too bad you didn't have a dog turd in your yard to hand to her and say 'this is all I have left'. And driving around to different neighborhoods gets my goat. We had to go into town because we live in the country but we only went to homes of people we knew. Sorry that some idiot had to ruin the night.

Lola M. said...

Oh, how I wish I could say I that I can't believe that bad scene happened - but I do believe it. Way to perpetuate the stereotypes people, and instill the kind of values in their children that wind up making future less than contributory citizens. This makes me so mad and sad. What a sour note, glad the rest of it was good, though. Next year, don't even bother with high falutin' Wal-Mart and hit the Dollar Tree for candy:)

Anonymous said...

Hello from Russia!
Can I quote a post "No teme" in your blog with the link to you?

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Was the woman dressed like Cartman? Because that would have been funny instead of laughingly pathetic. I don't want to meet her daughter in a few years. Can you imagine? Great post!

Me! said...

I would have called the cops and said some psycho woman was trespassing on your property. She should be glad that you had the candy and that you are allowing all these people at your house and in your neighborhood. That is why I hate people.

Hope said...

Oh hell no she didn't! It would be all I could do not to slap the crap out of her!

noble pig said...

Are you serious? OMG, what's wrong with people! Geez, that's insane and just craptastic.

maybelle's mom said...

thats amazing and a bit stunning as Halloweens go. Told my husband who said at least you didn't get egged.

Ours couldn't have been more opposite--very few kids, people passing out candy on a silver tray.

jiveturkey said...

Some HUH? Wow. Sounds like a magnificent mother.

People shuttle into our neighborhood as well, and I also ran out of candy (which got me the stink eye from a few parents), but no one got THAT out of line with me. Yikes.

Ingrid said...

Oh, snap! No she didn't?!
~ingrid