4/16/09

meet crack's cousins...



Before I introduce you to Crack's cousins, let me state for the record and for legal reasons...

I, Krysta Guerrero and the website Evil Chef Mom, are not responsible or will not incur any damages for the following actions; addictions to the above substances, any weight gain, hoarding behavior, addictive behavior, or any shorted out computer keyboards due to excessive drooling.

Sometimes you hop on the Internet and nothing inspires you. Sometimes you hop on the Internet and you get depressed because everyone is cooking something great and taking wonderful pictures and you know you just can't compete.

Then...

Then there are the days where the Internet smacks you on your ass and says, "Get a move on girl and make these NOW!"

Let's start with White on Rice's Pizookie.

Katie made her Chocolate Chunk Chocolate cookies for her friend Angie's 17th birthday. So, I asked her if she could save me a ramekin full of dough. She did. I baked it. It was divine, dahling.



and then there was this...


*roll that beautiful crack footage...

Simultaneously there was this post from Smitten Kitchen and an email from Martha, yes that MARTHA. Didn't you know that me and her are BFF's? We are tight. So tight we hang out and do tequila shots at Siberia and dance on the bar, like we're Paris and Lindsay circa early 2007.

Okay, so maybe in my dreams but I did get an email for Martha's Cookie of the Day and with Smitten Kitchen's post... it just had to be. Kismet, I tell ya', kismet.

But I had to up the ante, so to speak, because when I think of Saltines I think of the snack my grandmother used to make us of Saltines with Peanut Butter. So I schmeared some pb on the Saltines before I poured the caramel and chocolate on.

Here I am collectively smacking all y'all on your ass and saying, "Get a move on and make this already."

Oh Good Lord!!! Stick a fork in me 'cause I am done. See you in rehab!

In the immortal words of Whitney Houston...

"Crack is whack."



*and to beat a dead horse...

"and I said No, No, No..."

Next on Evil Chef Mom- AN EPIC FAIL OF MONUMENTAL PROPORTIONS!



16 comments:

noble pig said...

I love crack. Love it. Love PB and caramel and saltines. I am crack. These are crack. I need crack. Okay, I've cracked up.

Lisa@The Cutting Edge of Ordinary said...

Oh ghetto toffee. My husbnd has me making it all the time. T&D's Pikookie had me drooling the minute I saw it. I really need to make it.

Kristin @ Going Country said...

I thought Whitney said she was too rich to smoke crack. That's the quote I remember from that pathetic period of her life.

asthmagirl said...

I remember the crack is whack comment. Yikes! If these have peanut butter on them, I'm already hooked. Thanks Krysta!

SaintTigerlily said...

So, question: if you are using saltines (and pb - which, hello? you are genius.) do you skip the salt step at the end?

(AND PS: These are crack. The Boss and I made two 11x17 TRAYS and they were pretty much gone within 48 hours. People helped, but still. I think that's called a bender.)

Phoo-D said...

No, no, no! You really are EVIL chef mom! I've been trying to forget about these since I saw them over at SK and now you have to go and add peanut butter! Crap. I'm going to have go buy a box of saltines today.

White on Rice Couple said...

Ahh my cookie pimpin sista! I feel people getting weak in the knees from the utterly tasty sugar OD's. Love it. Todd.

Mrs. L said...

I think I'm going to like cracks cousin!

Sippity Sup said...

Okay...I lurk on your blog every day. I have you on my "Friends of SippitySup" if you are on "friends" then you can be guaranteed I go everyday. And because I (silently) read you every time, I know you are a very upfront person (to put it mildly, I am smiling as I say that)!

So, here goes.

I have a question. What is it about chocolate? I don't get it. It's fine. It tastes "good". But it's not very complex. It's alotta calories for the humdrum experience. Am I wrong? GREG

Snooty Primadona said...

You have made me laugh so many times, but this time I was having a cocktail & it came out my nose. Crap! That's hurts like Hell. But, that's what I get for reading while taking a drink. Damn you Krista! LOL!

tamilyn said...

"ghetto toffee"-kids asked what ghetto was, said "like the 'hood' only poorer.

I want to go on a bender like this

Grace said...

i can't tell you how many peanut butter crackers (a load of pb on saltines) i ate as a child. great last-minute decision. :)

Sweet Bird said...

Now I've got that Amy Winehouse song stuck in my head and it will never go away...

katie said...

Yum, crack. And I love me an epic fail. :)

cook eat FRET said...

the saltines wou;d be a very bad idea. but the cookie dough ramekin is probably even worse. i would not do well around either. it'd get ugly.

imagine: me at 200 lbs and very lonely. it could happen...

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