A little story before the recipe...
Will, sous chef #3, is probably the most laid back of everyone in our house which really isn't saying much but he's been the one full of mischief and quick one liners.
When Will was about three, his favorite time was nakey time. I'm sure if you have little kids at least one of them loves nakey time even if you call it something else. Nakey time is that special time right after bath time. You get your kids all cleaned up and they smell like Johnson's baby soap and their little bodies are nice and warm and soft. Maybe they let you cuddle with them for a second or two... before they take off!!!! Running around the house as naked as little jay birds. Enjoying Nakey Time. No clothes, diapers, just pure joy of being able to run around without restraint. Fun times. Will loved nakey time. His curly hair standing straight up like little damp cork screws. His little butt still pink from the warm water. He was off like a flash, zipping around the hallway, zooming into the kitchen, screeching around corners like he was a little race car driver. He'd make those laps over and over again while I'd sit in the hallway with a towel waiting there ready for him to come back.
One day Will gets out of the tub and does his little nakey time routine and comes running back to me all the while jumping up and down.
"Mama, look at what I can do!" Then he starts jumping up and down again, laughing and pointing at his little penis that is also flopping up and down.
"Yup, look at what you can do." I'm laughing because what's funnier than that?
"It has a name." Will tells me like he's letting me in on a big secret. Eyes sparkling and jumping around because it's too good not to tell.
"Yeah? What do you call it?" I remember thinking it's so typical of a boy to name his penis and that I really need to make sure when he's older that he will not name it. No matter what. Women roll their eyes at men who name their penises.
"It's name is Willie!" and Will runs off laughing.
Of course Will would have a Willie. A wee willie. He's 3.
A few laps later Will comes back and points to my left breast then my right breast and says "That's Bert and that's Ernie!" and runs off cackling knowing he's made the funniest joke in the world because Mom can not stop laughing.
I mean why shouldn't my breasts be named after two slightly effeminate guys with weird shaped heads who live together. Makes sense, right?
Here's a truly disturbing and funny picture of Bert and Ernie. Make sure to scroll down. My eyes need to be scrubbed with lye. Never google images of Bert and Ernie. It's just asking for trouble.
Brussels Sprout Hash With Caramelized Shallots and Bacon (Adapted from Bon Appetit November 2007
6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) butter, divided
1/2 pound shallots, thinly sliced
1/2 pound bacon, cut into 1 inch pieces
Coarse kosher salt
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
4 teaspoons sugar
1 1/2 pounds brussels sprouts, trimmed
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 cup water
In a frying pan, cook bacon until crispy. Lay bacon on paper towels to drain fat.
Melt 3 tablespoons butter in medium skillet over medium heat. Add shallots; sprinkle with coarse kosher salt and pepper. Saute until soft and golden, about 10 minutes. Add vinegar and sugar. Stir until brown and glazed, about 3 minutes.
Halve brussels sprouts lengthwise. Cut lengthwise into thin (1/8-inch) slices. Heat oil in large skillet over medium-high heat. Add sprouts; sprinkle with salt and pepper. Saute until brown at edges, 6 minutes. Add 1 cup water and 3 tablespoons butter. Saute until most of water evaporates and sprouts are tender but still bright green, 3 minutes. Add shallots and bacon, season with salt and pepper.
Tasting Notes: I could have eaten the whole pan of brussels spouts by myself which is what I really need after that photo of Bert and Ernie.
OH GOD!!!! MY EYES!!! MY CHILDHOOD!!! RUINED!!!