brussels sprout hash w/ caramelized shallots and bacon

A little story before the recipe...

Will, sous chef #3, is probably the most laid back of everyone in our house which really isn't saying much but he's been the one full of mischief and quick one liners.

When Will was about three, his favorite time was nakey time. I'm sure if you have little kids at least one of them loves nakey time even if you call it something else. Nakey time is that special time right after bath time. You get your kids all cleaned up and they smell like Johnson's baby soap and their little bodies are nice and warm and soft. Maybe they let you cuddle with them for a second or two... before they take off!!!! Running around the house as naked as little jay birds. Enjoying Nakey Time. No clothes, diapers, just pure joy of being able to run around without restraint. Fun times. Will loved nakey time. His curly hair standing straight up like little damp cork screws. His little butt still pink from the warm water. He was off like a flash, zipping around the hallway, zooming into the kitchen, screeching around corners like he was a little race car driver. He'd make those laps over and over again while I'd sit in the hallway with a towel waiting there ready for him to come back.

One day Will gets out of the tub and does his little nakey time routine and comes running back to me all the while jumping up and down.

"Mama, look at what I can do!" Then he starts jumping up and down again, laughing and pointing at his little penis that is also flopping up and down.

"Yup, look at what you can do." I'm laughing because what's funnier than that?

"It has a name." Will tells me like he's letting me in on a big secret. Eyes sparkling and jumping around because it's too good not to tell.

"Yeah? What do you call it?" I remember thinking it's so typical of a boy to name his penis and that I really need to make sure when he's older that he will not name it. No matter what. Women roll their eyes at men who name their penises.

"It's name is Willie!" and Will runs off laughing.

Of course Will would have a Willie. A wee willie. He's 3.

A few laps later Will comes back and points to my left breast then my right breast and says "That's Bert and that's Ernie!" and runs off cackling knowing he's made the funniest joke in the world because Mom can not stop laughing.

I mean why shouldn't my breasts be named after two slightly effeminate guys with weird shaped heads who live together. Makes sense, right?

Here's a truly disturbing and funny picture of Bert and Ernie. Make sure to scroll down. My eyes need to be scrubbed with lye. Never google images of Bert and Ernie. It's just asking for trouble.

Brussels Sprout Hash With Caramelized Shallots and Bacon (Adapted from Bon Appetit November 2007

6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) butter, divided
1/2 pound shallots, thinly sliced
1/2 pound bacon, cut into 1 inch pieces
Coarse kosher salt
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
4 teaspoons sugar
1 1/2 pounds brussels sprouts, trimmed
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 cup water

In a frying pan, cook bacon until crispy. Lay bacon on paper towels to drain fat.

Melt 3 tablespoons butter in medium skillet over medium heat. Add shallots; sprinkle with coarse kosher salt and pepper. Saute until soft and golden, about 10 minutes. Add vinegar and sugar. Stir until brown and glazed, about 3 minutes.

Halve brussels sprouts lengthwise. Cut lengthwise into thin (1/8-inch) slices. Heat oil in large skillet over medium-high heat. Add sprouts; sprinkle with salt and pepper. Saute until brown at edges, 6 minutes. Add 1 cup water and 3 tablespoons butter. Saute until most of water evaporates and sprouts are tender but still bright green, 3 minutes. Add shallots and bacon, season with salt and pepper.

Tasting Notes: I could have eaten the whole pan of brussels spouts by myself which is what I really need after that photo of Bert and Ernie.



Laurie said...

Krysta, Thanks for posting the brussel sprout recipe! This is definitely something I will make.

Your nakey story made me laugh out loud. I think all kids love to be naked. I know my four did.

Bert and Ernie! Oh My!

JazzyB said...

that is the funniest story i have ever heard. I too was laughing out loud

SaintTigerlily said...

Hee. You know how I feel about ma sprouts. I'll check that recipe out. Also: I miss naked time...there is something rather unseemly about doing it as a grown-up...for me anyway. And for my houseguests.

Anonymous said...

Yep, two different shaped heads, that pretty much sums it all up doesn't it? Hilarious.

And the brussels look amazing!

Humble Abode said...

this sounds divine!

pam said...

I loved the story! The Bert and Ernie I've got to work on removing from my psyche.

Anonymous said...

I had it all wrong. I always call your boobs Oscar & Felix!

Will totally nailed them. Really captured their essence.

BTW, you never stop cracking me up!


PS: And they all name their penises, don't they?

Unknown said...

i grew up in an all female house, so this naming of penises is something new and hilarious to me...much like what my husband calls "penis helicopter."

boys are weird.

tamilyn said...

I looked. Your warned me. I looked anyway. I always had a sneakin' suspicion, but ewwww. My girls loved nakey time too, but they had nothing to name. We live in the country-I occasionally have a little nakey time when I'm alone.

MrOrph said...

mmmmm...Yeah...I didn't need to see that.

So I reading this hilarious story and I'm thinking, I still run through the house naked after bathing.


I call mine Thor!

Bacon + sprouts = brilliant!

Anonymous said...

At our house it was called "Buck Nakey" time. Parker loved it. He didn't have a cute name for his manhood other than penis. And his favorite "Buck Nakey" passtime was to play his guitar and sing "Here comes the penis" while chasing his sister through the house. Yes, I've had nightmares ever since about my son, as a man, indulging in the same scenario with a woman other than his sister.

On to another topic . . . I love brussel sprouts and can't wait to make this dish. It's slightly reminiscent of a fried cabbage dish I make with bacon and apples.

auntjone said...

H is only 6 months and already loves nakey time. If his diaper is off, he's all smiles and giggles.

And I can't believe I'm typing this out loud, but when I clean his "winkie" (my name for it not his obviously), he LAUGHS and laughs and laughs. I am very, very afraid.

She Who said...

OMG just LMAO over this post. Just can't comment further and keep it PG.

Krysta you are always a hoot.

Spryte said...

YUM!! I love brussel sprouts and this looks awesome!!!!!

Melissa said...

Now come on, you've seen the Family Guy Bert and Ernie scene, right?


Best version I found.

Good story about Will. And good recipe. I've looked at that one before, and still need to make it.

White on Rice Couple said...

My sides hurt! Damn that was funny. Thanks for making my night. Todd.

Snooty Primadona said...

My kids were total nekkid beasts... especially at the lake house during the summers. I love nekkid babies. What could be sweeter? Except for maybe when they pee at random, which is not fun.

Thanks for sharing that fabulous looking recipe!

Anonymous said...

The brussell sprouts recipe is something I should make soon. But the "nakey time"? My husband will not understand why I'm running around screaming that after my shower tonight!

Lisa said...

So that's the secret, bacon! Those Brussels sprouts do sound awesome. And your story is too funny!

Magpie said...

Love the nekkid Will - willie story. Priceless.

Mandy said...

Oh Lord, what a great story. I'm crying as I laugh, actual tears came out this was so funny. Your blog is great, the stories, the recipes. I mentioned you on my blog today!

Laufa said...

LOL too cute and that dish sounds yummy. Love butt shots!!

Sylvia said...

Um... your story is hilarious. Kids say the funniest things. And your recipe looks delicious-- even for a non brussel sprout eater!

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

you think bert and ernie is bad...google cookie monster, not even funny. well ok, a little funny

Anonymous said...

Don´t you understand why you get crazy porn spam? You post pictures of your naked child in spite of the warnings that recently came from Save the children but also earlier from other organisations.Child porn is a true sad thing but you shouldn´t contribute to that by bragging about your naked child and show him up here. Why don´t you allow him the privacy you give yourself or do you publish pictures of yourself naked? I wouldn´t think so as you are American. Americans are so prude but most of the naked pictures of children emanate from America. In other cultures nudeness is more natural and not so much a hot topic BUT they protect their children and refuse to feed the peddo´s so you have yourself to blame. If you don´t respect your child so why should these porny idiots do`? Or maybe they disrespect you? You deserve that as long as you exploit your child and brag about it. Is it ignorance or just business? What is it in for you to show naked children, YOUR naked children or internet? Shame on you! You´re slightly better than those silly comments!

Anonymous said...

Show his dick. You have already betrayed your child and you are a bad parent. Fuck you for being such an ignorant bad mother showing your naked child on this blog, in public. And btw let us see your twat as well or do you care more about your integrity and dignity. Your son has no dignity because of you

krysta said...

hey anonymous...

too bad that your first comment had some valid points that i would have been willing to discuss... if you would have left your name. people who leave anonymous comments like yours are cowardly bullies.

everyone else... i am sorry to have to close comments on this post. the tone from this asshat went from somewhat civil to downright nasty very quickly.