Read Part One here...
"All our hopes and dreams are tied up in notions about our house and yet it all comes down to dollars and mortgages and credit scores and way too much blind luck. And even when it turns out, it’s still harrowing." - an email sent to me.
On Friday the Thirteenth, we put a offer in on a home. The HOME. (say it like Oprah introducing Brad Pitt. See how much better it sounds?) The home that I wrote about that was just out of our reach. Yeah, that home. The home that had everything on our checklist. Now came the waiting. The sellers realtor was out of town for the weekend and another potential buyer was going to look at it. So it was going to be Monday or possibly Tuesday before we heard any news at all and it could be bad news at that.
On Tuesday, St. Patrick's Day, we still hadn't heard anything from the sellers. But I had something to keep my mind occupied though not in a good way. I had my six month dentist appointment complete with teeth cleaning!!! Whoo-hoo.
I might have a big mouth in the figurative way but in the literal sense of the word I do not have a big mouth and let's top my small mouth with a nice case of TMJ. You can imagine how fun teeth cleaning can be. My normal hygienist is pretty patient and gives me little breathers in between the scraping and flossing and if she's feeling in a particularly good mood a nice little jaw massage (that sounds disgusting but is really quite innocent). By the time I'm done I have a massive migraine and my teeth and jaws hurt for days afterward. Oh and did I mention I have to pre-med before all of this? I have to take a nice bout of antibiotics before I even enter the dentists office. So antibiotics, Imitrex and 4 Advils just to visit the dentist office. Fun, I tell you.
I didn't have my normal hygienist, I had a hygienist that looked like a nice white haired older gentlewoman who calls you my love and my dear. That's a subterfuge because....
...in reality she was more like this dude.
She was fucking sadistic evil whore.
It started out with my near drowning when she put the rinse/drool sucker thingy in my mouth and stuck it down my throat. (Sorry family for this next part of this sentence) but it was like being on the giving end of a really bad blow job that you wish would end. Then that evil whore used an ultrasonic teeth cleaning device instead of the metal hook. The ultrasonic teeth cleaning device sounds like a dentist drill but at a much higher pitch and it doesn't ever fucking stop until it gets every little speck of plaque in your mouth. I also forget to mention it shoots water everywhere! My glasses and face where speckled with plaque, drool, water, and whatever other foreign matter I had hiding in my mouth. Then, when she polishes my teeth the tooth polisher slips and tore up the roof of my mouth. Let's just say when she was done I jumped out of the chair and went home without so much as a thank you or goodbye.
When Rich and I came home from that abortion of a teeth cleaning (really, what else could you call it?) There was a package sitting on our doorstep.
To be concluded Friday.
Ah, scones! I finally found a scone recipe that even I couldn't screw up. Found in A Homemade Life By Molly Wizenburg or otherwise known as Orangette. What a beautifully written and slyly funny book.
Scottish Scones: Adapted from A Homemade Life page 174
2 cups of unbleached all purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon of salt
4 tablespoons (2 ounces) of cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/2 inch cubes
3 tablespoons sugar
1 granny smith apple, peeled, cored and chopped into tiny bite sized pieces
6 ounces of cinnamon chips
1/2 cup of half and half, plus more for glazing
1 large egg
Pre-heat oven to 425 degrees.
In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt. Using your hands, rub the butter into the flour mixture, squeezing and pinching with your fingertips until the mixture resembles a coarse meal and there are no butter lumps bigger than a pea. Add sugar, apples and cinnamon chips and stir just enough to incorporate it all together.
Pour 1/2 cup of half-and-half into a small bowl or measuring cup and add the egg. Beat with a fork to mix well. Pour the wet ingredients into the flour mixture, and stir gently to just combine. The dough will look dry and shaggy, and there may be some unincorporated flour at the bottom of the bowl. Using your hands, squeeze and press the dough into a rough mass. Turn the dough, and any excess flour, out onto a board or countertop, and press and gather and knead it until it just comes together. You don't want to overwork the dough; ideally, do not knead more than 12 times. There may be excess flour that is not absorbed, but it doesn't matter. As soon as the dough holds together, pat it into a rough circle about 1 inch thick. Cut the circle into 8 wedges.
Place the wedges on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper or silicone baking mat. Pour a splash of half-and-half into a small bowl. Using a pastry brush, gently brush the tops of the scones with a thin coat to glaze. Bake for 10 to 14 minuets, or until pale golden. Transfer them to a wire rack to cool slightly, and serve warm, with butter, if you like.
Tasting Notes: To be honest at first the sous chefs and I were a little doubtful of the cinnamon chips. We thought that they were going to be little balls of waxy fake cinnamony badness but everyone was shocked when they turned out really good. I think we were all shocked that I didn't make scones that were a FAIL.
Posted by krysta at 12:00 AM