Surprise Ch-Ch-Changes

Don't freak out! Seriously, it's still my blog.

Breathe, here's a paper bag if you are hyperventilating. Breathe in and out slowly. Now pass the bag to me, because I'm freaking out.

Okay, now that we have gotten over the initial shock of some of the changes, let me explain. I started my blog about a year ago on a whim. Didn't have a digital camera, didn't know about commenting, didn't know about links, didn't know squat. Still don't know squat but that's a different matter all together. While I like Blogger's ease of use, I hated their templates, especially when it came to photo sizes. I also felt my blog was a little cluttered and weighing me down so I finally decided that enough is enough and changed it. Think of it as a face lift for an aging blog.



In other news... I'm trying to get my photography website up, my etsy shop up, and I will be deleting my photo blog, Haphazard Joy, and in it's place will be my joint photoblog 5x5 project. And sometime this week after I can figure out how to change this flippin' blog to a dot com, something about Cname and other crap, I will be done. Whew, that's a lot of stuff, no wonder I'm stressed.

Oh Hey! Thank you everyone... from my readers, to my wonder twin, and my blog mentors. All you guys help me out more than you'll ever know and it's much appreciated.

Feel free to look around and let me know if you like it or hate it and if there are any bugs in the matrix.

Elote Salad

One of the best things about soccer is the snacks. I've talked about the paleta vendors but what I didn't mention was the other goodies they have. Chicharrones, baggies filled with cut up fresh fruit and veggies, mangoes cut into flower shapes with chili and lime juice sprinkled on them and the elotes. Elotes are ears of corn on a stick, sprayed with butter, sometimes mayonnaise, then coated in parmigiana cheese, lemon or lime juice, and chili powder.

Oh stop screaming, "ewwwwww, nasty!' at the computer screen. I can hear you. The combination sounds horribly wrong and I used to think the same thing until I tried one. I. Was. Wrong. [cough, cough... I never say that or admit I was wr-wr-wr-wrong]

"Krysta, what in the hell are you doing to that piece of corn?"

Check out how cool this is...

You put a piece of corn in the center of a bundt pan, cut the kernals off the cob...

and all the corn kernels fall into the bundt pan.

Cool beans! I have to give mad props to Kristen and MIL from going country for showing me this. It has made my life sooooo much easier. They have no idea. Two kids who can't eat corn on the cob but expect me to cut it off the cob for them and it always went everywhere including the floor. Shh... don't tell them but you know about the five second rule, right? Now thanks to Kristen and MIL, I don't have to feed my kids corn picked up off the kitchen floor.

This isn't an exact recipe.

Elote Salad:

corn, cooked and cut off the cob. Use approximately 1 ear of corn per person.

jalapeno, finely chopped. How hot can you stand it? I used 1/2 a jalapeno for three ears of corn.

mayo

cilantro, finely chopped

lime juice

parmigiana cheese

salt and pepper to taste

Mix together. Eat.

Tasting Notes: Something you need to know...I hate corn off the cob. I hate the way it explodes in your mouth like little bombs. Same with peas. Just ewwww, but I do like this dish. It's actually the only corn I will eat off the cob. Spicy, sweet, cool, tangy. Yummy. I served this with Chicken That Tastes like Mexico and some rice.

What The Deuce?

It was a quiet Sunday afternoon. Then the coppers pulled up with the K-9 dogs. Then the streets were shut down.

After a while a firetruck and ambulance showed up, then left. Then the big truck came out and put down their braces and got the big ladder out. Much to the delight of the the kids in the neighborhood.

Undercover police on the scene had to convene to probably discuss this damn car that was in the way. Like the owner knew that some jackass was going to run from the cops in a stolen car, then ditch said car in our quite little neighborhood and shimmy up onto our neighbors roof.

Ladder is finally in position.

Let's send up the rookie in the bright fire coat because it's only ninety five degrees outside!

"Hey Chief! Found something."

"Don't touch anything! I'm coming up!"

"Yup. Found something."

Do note, the chief is not wearing big heavy jacket in the ninety five degree heat. Nor does he look like a rookie up on that ladder like the previous fire dude.

And like all guys in authority they have to stand around and discuss.

"Is it drugs?"

"Yeah, it's drugs."

"Everyone agree?"

"Aye."

"Drugs, it is."

"Nothing to see here folks..."

Don't you wish you were my next door neighbor? All this action plus my sparkling witty conversation and food, because I would feed you. Imagine all the fun we could have? Here's the actual article from the newspaper and the robber was a little bloody afterwards.

Injuries, Math Equations, Birthdays, Chocolate Glazed Chocolate Tart

Hi... Let me explain that first picture... it's not that I don't like you or that I'm personally telling you to eff off or anything. I just wanted to get your attention. Now that I do... I have a story for you, it involves birthdays, math, a cooking injury, and a chocolate glazed chocolate tart.

Tuesday was Rich's birthday. Wait! Don't leave happy birthday comments because he "doesn't" celebrate birthdays anymore. He's officially a grumpy old man. How boring. Since he doesn't celebrate birthdays anymore, I figure he doesn't deserve a birthday cake but because I'm nice and I know he loves chocolate more than his awesomely talented and accident prone wife, I made him a chocolate glazed chocolate tart with salted caramel sauce. This is where I went wrong.

I think that there is a culinary math equation we need to come up with. It should do something with the amount of dirty dishes is multiplied to the deliciousness of a dish. And if the dish is spectacularly great, well, that means there will be a couple of dishes that need a day or two of soaking and in my case.... an INJURY!

Have you ever heard that you need to be careful when you try to make caramel because caramel burns are particularly painful? Yeah, that's a lie. It fucking hurts more than the fire of a thousand suns and if someone said that I would have listened.

Holy shit, it hurt. It made me sweat bullets, then tear up, and then take so many drugs my husband cut me off. It hurt like hell for 6 hours and then went numb. The burn on my finger about the size of a dime and is white. Fun times, I tell you, fun fanfuckingtabulous times and no salted caramel sauce.

Chocolate-Glazed Chocolate Tart: (Gourmet September 2008)

For crust:

9 (5- by 21/4-inch) chocolate graham crackers (not chocolate-covered), finely ground (1 cup)
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1/4 cup sugar

For filling:

1 1/4 cups heavy cream
9 oz bittersweet chocolate (not more than 65% cacao if marked), chopped 2 large eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt
For glaze
2 tablespoons heavy cream
1 3/4 oz bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped
1 teaspoon light corn syrup
1 tablespoon warm water

Equipment:
a 9-inch round fluted tart pan (1 inch deep) with removable bottom

Make crust:
Preheat oven to 350°F with rack in middle. Stir together all ingredients and press evenly onto bottom and 3/4 inch up side of tart pan. Bake until firm, about 10 minutes. Cool on a rack 15 to 20 minutes.

Make filling:

Bring cream to a boil, then pour over chocolate in a bowl and let stand 5 minutes. Gently stir until smooth. Whisk together eggs, vanilla, and salt in another bowl, then stir into melted chocolate. Pour filling into cooled crust. Bake until filling is set about 3 inches from edge but center is still wobbly, 20 to 25 minutes. (Center will continue to set as tart cools.) Cool completely in pan on rack, about 1 hour.

Make glaze:
Bring cream to a boil and remove from heat. Stir in chocolate until smooth. Stir in corn syrup, then warm water. Pour glaze onto tart, then tilt and rotate tart so glaze coats top evenly. Let stand until glaze is set, about 1 hour.

excuse the crumbs but this was the last piece after the sous chefs got a hold of it

Tasting Notes: This tart was simple to make and tasted like chocolate heaven squared and the top glaze was glossy and shiny. I was so proud of myself because it looked sooooooo professional and then I tried to get fancy. Serves me right. I should have left well enough alone.

These are all my dirty dishes. Not pictured; a tart pan a wooden spoon covered in now hardened caramel and the pot the spoon is stuck in.

Bland But Full of Potential Awesomeness

I wish I could tell you that the post that Blogger ate was the next great American novel. Full of wit, heartbreak, and redemption but alas the post and the meal, I thought were mediocre and bland, at best. Which is ironic but really not ironic but because I used ironic wrong, will be ironic in and of itself because everyone liked this meal... except me.

Fettuccine with Artichokes and Beans: (Real Simple October 2008)

Serves 4 (I also doubled this recipe)

3/4 pound fettuccine
1/4 cup plus 1 teaspoon olive oil
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 15.5-ounce can cannellini beans, rinsed
1 13.75-ounce can artichoke hearts, drained and quartered
kosher salt and black pepper
1 slice white bread, toasted *I used about a cup of bread crumbs
1 teaspoon dried oregano *I used fresh and a lot more
a good splash of white white

Cook the pasta according to the package directions. Reserve 1/2 cup of the cooking water. Drain the pasta and return it to the pot.Meanwhile, heat 1/4 cup of the oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the garlic and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add the beans, artichokes, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Cook until heated through, 3 to 4 minutes * Here's where I added some white white and let it cook off.Pulse the bread in a food processor until coarse crumbs form. Add the oregano and the remaining teaspoon of oil and pulse until just combined. Toss the pasta with the artichoke mixture and reserved pasta water. Sprinkle with the bread crumbs.

Tasting Notes: Would I make this dish again? Yes. Why? Because A) the kids all liked it and it was easy and fast. And B) THIS DISH HAS POTENTIAL, DAMN IT! It's like the movies. You know the one about the ugly duckling that no one thinks is beautiful but that one guy sees through that ugly duckling facade. He knows he can make her into becoming someone special by taking off her glasses, plucking her brows, getting her a hair cut and taking her shopping in one ten minute montage scene with lots of laughing, twirling in a new dress and topped off with a kiss, all the while I'm Walking On Sunshine is playing in the background. Yeah, this pasta is like that. My montage scene includes more garlic, a squeeze of lemon, and maybe a little lemon zest. Then I would present my dish to the amazement of others. Then I would get high fives all around and people would talk about my culinary prowess. (oops, we changed to a sports movie but it's the same idea.) all the while Eye of The Tiger is playing in the background.

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Cut and Scene!

either I'm super awesome or terribly nerdy... I can't decide

Soup & Soccer

Right now there are two things, other than politics, that are completely taking over my life. College and soccer. We'll talk about college another day and I really don't want to talk much about soccer either... except, except I want your opinion about the dick move my daughter's soccer coach made last night at practice.

*Nancy is #14. She's my little pit bull in lipstick (eye roll)

Let's recap.... Nancy plays on a traveling competitive under 12 soccer team. Her coach doesn't believe in.... wait for it.... running... in soccer... whatever, another eye roll. The only reason she didn't quit the team is because there is an awesome assistant coach who will take over the team next year. So basically, we are biding our time until he quits. Now Coach E is between 55-65 years old, doesn't have anyone on the team that's a relative (which is a little creepy) and has never played soccer in his life. Ahh yes, he's book taught... in soccer. He has no tact and doesn't get how to handle 10-12 year old girls. Let's recap how Nancy is as a soccer player. When she comes to practice she's serious and practices hard, hates when people goof off, wants to play and have fun, wants to win because winning is fun. It's kind of scary to have a 10 year old who is this serious about a sport. She isn't the fastest runner and most girls are a head taller than her but she has amazing foot work and isn't afraid to throw some elbows or go head-to-head with someone a foot taller than her.

On Saturday, Nancy screwed up. She passed the ball to her goalie, so her goalie could give it a good kick up field. The pass was bad, and it hit off the goal post, then the opposing team followed through and scored a goal. The score was now 1 to nothing. When Nancy came off the field during the half, she was upset. She knew she let her teammates down and her coaches. Long story short, she knew she fucked up. During the next half, she scored a goal. Score is now 1-1 and it stayed that way for the rest of the game, so the game ended in a tie. You would think she made up for her mistake, right?

Fast forward to practice last night..... Coach E says something along the lines of, "Well, we scored two goals in that last game blah, blah, blah." Trying to be snarky but literally made Nancy cry. She was bawling, she knew she screwed up and let everyone down and he just pushed that knife in her back a little deeper. The dude offered no constructive criticism, if he did, I wouldn't even be writing about this. After coaching her for two years, he should know her temperament, right? Was he pissed his star player made an error? It was down right cruel... so what would you do? Because right now, I can't even type it because I think written threats are illegal, aren't they?

So, what does this have to do with soup? I made soup for the first day of fall and I thought since it has been cooling off rather nicely at night I'd make this soup and we'd have a nice comforting dinner after soccer practice. But noooooooo, instead of eating this nice, spicy, filling but not to filling soup I was thinking of ways to disembowel Coach E with just my potato ricer, chopstick and a spoon.

In short on top of making Nancy feel terrible, he ruined my dinner. Not. Good.

Portuguese Sweet Potato and Sausage Soup: (courtesy of Bon Appetit from an issue in 2007)

3 tablespoons of extra-virgin olive oil, divided
2 10-to-11 ounce fully cooked smoked Portuguese linguica cut crosswise into 1/4 inch thick slices
2 medium onions, chopped
2 large garlic cloves, minced
2 pounds red-skinned sweet potatoes, peeled, quartered lengthwise, cut crosswise into 1/4 inch thick slices
1 pound white-skinned potatoes, peeled, halved lengthwise, cut crosswise into 1/4 inch-thick slices ( wouldn't it have been easier to say cubed, Bon Appetit?)
6 cups chicken stock
1 9-ounce bag fresh spinach

Heat 2 tablespoons oil in a heavy large pot over medium high heat. Add sausage; cook until brown, stirring often, about 8 minutes. Transfer sausage to paper towels to drain. Add onions and garlic to pot and cook until translucent, stirring often, about 5 minutes. Add all potatoes and cook until beginning to soften, stirring often, about 12 minutes. Add broth; bring to boil, scraping up browned bits. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until potatoes are soft, stirring occasionally, about 20 minutes. Using potato masher, mash some of the potatoes in pot. Add browned sausage to soup. Stir in spinach and simmer just until wilted, about 5 minutes. Stir in remaining 1 tablespoon of oil. Season with salt and pepper. Divide among warmed bowls and serve.

Tasting Notes: I posted about this soup back in December 2007 before I had any readers or a digital camera. This soup is so good I felt that it needed to posted again because it is that good. The broth is spicy from the linguica, onions and garlic and the potatoes give it a little bit of heft to make it filling and the spinach makes you feel healthy! Perfect for fall.

Intervention Biscotti Will Make It All Better

Are you a junkie? Do you have an addiction to these two men? Is it becoming so bad that you...

Tivo or DVR MS. Maddow because you have to work yet you can't miss a single word she says? (Yes hon, I'm talking to you. I'm glad you have crushes on really smart women but you know she's gay, right? Sweetie, I have a better chance than you.)

Do you watch every cable news network because you need to see what the enemy is saying?

Do you go to bed with these two?

Do you dream of John King? Or is your dying wish to play with his magic screen? When Jack Cafferty isn't on, do you cry yourself to sleep?

Do you feel like whoever wins, it's going to be the end of the world?

If you said yes to any of these questions, you might as well face it you are addicted to ... politics.

It's bad around here. Katie and Rich have an addiction and I think I am an enabler. All they do is talk politics from sunrise to sunset and I don't stop them. God forbid if I don't have NPR on the radio when I go to pick up Katie from school. And the other day Rich told me I looked worried and upset. I don't know but maybe after watching 4 hours of CNN, FOX, MSNBC, CNBC and their political pundits yelling at each other plus taking care of 4 kids who are also yelling at each other yeah, I might look a teensy bit stressed.

Biscotti and milk will make it better, right?

Chocolate Dipped Pink Salt Biscotti:

3 1/4 cups all purpose flour

1 tablespoon baking powder

1/3 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 cups sugar

10 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

3 large eggs

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1 tablespoon orange liqueur

1 cup whole almonds coarsely chopped

1 large egg white

1 container Dolci Frutta

pink salt for sprinkling

Position rack in center of oven and preheat to 350°F. Line baking sheet with parchment paper. Sift flour, baking powder and salt into medium bowl. Mix sugar, melted butter, 3 eggs, vanilla extract, orange liqueur and zest in large bowl. Add flour mixture to egg mixture and stir with wooden spoon until well blended. Mix in almonds.

Divide dough in half. Using floured hands, shape each dough half into 13 1/2-inch-long, 2 1/2-inch-wide log. Transfer both logs to prepared baking sheet, spacing apart. Whisk egg white in small bowl until foamy; brush over top and sides of each dough log.

Bake logs until golden brown (logs will spread), about 30 minutes. Cool logs completely on sheet on rack, about 25 minutes. Maintain oven temperature.

Transfer logs to work surface; discard parchment paper. Using serrated knife, cut logs on diagonal into 1/2-inch-wide slices. Arrange slices, cut side down, on same baking sheet. Bake 12 minutes. Turn biscotti over; bake until just beginning to color, about 8 minutes. Transfer to rack and cool.

After the biscotti have cooled, prepare Dolci Frutta according to directions, then pour into a shallow dish. Dip the bottom of the biscotti into the chocolate until you have a nice even layer of chocolate coating the biscotti. Before the chocolate dries into a hard shell sprinkle a little pink salt onto the chocolate layer. Place biscotti on a piece of parchment paper on its side.

Can be prepared 1 week ahead. Store in airtight container at room temperature.

Isn't this what they call stress eating?

VIP {very important potato} Spa

Here at VIP {very important potato} Spa, we understand that being a ho is hard work. Let our spa pamper you and bring out the all your yummy beauty.



Our state of the art spa facilities.



Our famous 'warm room'

All of our Potat'ho's are tested monthly for orga-nic-sim-cy. They are also fully licenced in all of our top secret techniques.

Basic Services:

Scalloping*: Thinly sliced then you will be bathed in a luxurious cream sauce. This treatment will leave you relaxed and mouth watering-ly tender.... $80.

*gratin: $15.00 extra surcharge

Mashed: Let our world renowned masseuse Ricer or Mashed fluff you into oblivion. $75

w/ butter & cream massage... after you've been fluffed, let Rice or Mash use our specially handcrafted butters and creams to anoint you to your most yummy deliciousness. $40 extra surcharge

Roasted: Imagine being coated in the finest oils and gently rubbed with organic aromatics and then left to relax in our special 'warm room' to release all your stresses. $45

Hashed: This treatment will leave you feeling like just came back from a tropical vacation... golden and crispy. $45

Baked*: A Classic! One of our most well known treatments. We let you meditate in our special 'warm room' until you are fully fluffy [approx. one hour] and then you will be treated with our special handcrafted butters, sour creams, salt and pepper. $90

*chives and bacon bits extra... please see receptionist for details

Salad: For A Limited Time!!! Our most popular summer service... chilled and normally bathed in a mix of skin softening mayonnaise and aromatics. This treatment with leaving you feeling calm and ready to conquer the heat. $50

Also, we do offer a warm salad treatment for an extra $10. Imported dijon treatment $25

Fry: Crispy, golden, fluffy on the inside. This is our best and most expensive treatment but worth every penny! Known in the inner Hollywood elite services as the Fry Daddy Deluxe. This treatment requires 24 hour prior notice. $500

double dipping and extra crispy... are services provided by our experts and are can be very dangerous. This is a private transaction between your masseuse and you. Also you will be required to sign a waiver holding us not responsible for any wrong doing...i.e. burning or sogginess.

covered with cheese curds and gravy... well that's just sick! It's illegal and we are not that type of establishment. Some of our technicians will do this on their private time. Please ask discreetly.

Totally Tubular Transformations...

Sweetie Pie: This will leave you sweet and irresistible. $250

Gnocchi: Fluffy pillows of potato 'y' heaven. $300

Bread: One of most complex procedures. You will be transformed into something completely different. $350




Fingerlings: A simple and relaxing treatment to bring out your natural beauty. We anoint you in our finest oils then sprinkle a light coat of salt and pepper with a a touch of rosemary and garlic then wrap you in our famous shiny silver wrap to let you rest in our famous warm room for one hour while you let all your worries go. Once your are unwrapped, you will shine sweetly while not being dried out. You will leave our spa without a care in the world. $175


All potatoes are welcome! We are open every third Wednesday of the month. Locations and dates will vary. Check our website for details.

priceless...

this is my life [in a nutshell]

I have four kids... all very bright... I think?

'ze willzter...

'Allo! I am Will's arch nemesis hand puppet The Spy, Pierre. I am the creation of Will'z mom Kreeesta. Today is Will's birthday and he wanted very badly a sock puppet. This is a very strange family. Let me look in Will'z dossier and give you a few facts.

He has turned 12 today.

He zinks he was adopted by thees family and vas dropped off on the earth by aliens.

He vants a kilt. [hmmm... I am not sure what to think when a 12 year old boy vants a kilt]

He is a pretty easy going kid, not much of a show off but veeery loud... vill never have de ninja skills because you can hear him coming from miles away but he makes up for zat by being...very smart, wily, and full of mischief [he vill prove to be an worthy adversary.]

Theees little whippersnapper? Nah, he's too cute... not a lethal killing machine.

Hmmmm. It is also been noted that Will looks a lot like theees gentleman.

It is ze eyes. But I am not scared.

Happy Birthday Will! You are the only kid I know that enjoys your mothers special kind of crazy.

Snapshots From Greece

Well, not exactly. How about just from the Greek Food Festival? Where I ate myself into a food coma. You know that's when someone literally has to roll you out or when you don't eat for several days after because you're still full of food.

The spanakopita was good but not nearly as good as my sister Stacey's.

*cough cough* When are you going to give me that recipe, Stacey? Oh, are you busy? With two kids under the age of two? Who cares? You are now super mom and your sister's readers so need this recipe.

Why can't you find this beer anywhere? Don't tell me Bev-Mo, already looked.

Oh my lord of sweet honey goodness. Loukoumedes. Greek Honey Fritters... [I'm trying to sound like Homer Simpson, right now]

I'd sell my soul for these. Anybody have a recipe for this or what kind of honey to use because I have tried to make these once and they were not the same as the little sweet pillows of honey love pictured here.