A Bad Food Day...

*krysta is having one of those days... bad language ahead!

It started off with McCain's choice for veep. If I hear the Term 'Hockey Mom' on more time I might have to take my mandolin and slice off my ears à la Van Gogh and just as a further precaution I am going to take a skewer to my ear drums to make sure I never hear that fucking term ever again.

I am me. I am complicated. I like blue and I like red and sometimes I wear both colors together! Whatever sport my children play does not define me. Being a mom also doesn't define me. It plays a bit part in the role that is my life. I am more than a mom. Sorry if that angers some people but you do not give yourself enough credit if you think that being a mom is the only way to define yourself. I will not vote for you just because you are a hockey mom or a mom of 5. Address my issues and maybe I'll listen but damn it, stop pandering to me! I AM SMARTER THAN THAT! Until then... piss off.

To top this all off I had the one of the blah-est meals of my life. It was an insult to my taste buds... and boy were they mad! I find bland food just as disgusting as poorly prepared food. Both are a culinary sin!

We walked in to find pictures of neighborhood houses on the walls with the artist's statement but the strange thing was the sign below which ticked me off to no end...

"If any of the pictures are of your home and you do not want them displayed on the restaurant walls. Please contact the artist and we will promptly remove the picture."

Dude, you are taking semi-good pictures of houses without the owner's knowledge, then publicly displaying them, THEN they have to contact you to get the picture removed. That sucks.

Rich and I order our food. Salad for him because he's a chick and I order a sandwich with some potato salad and iced tea.

Iced Tea Rant: When I order iced tea, I mean ICED TEA. Not tropical flavored toilet water. I assume that when I order iced tea, it's like ordering iced coffee. Black, bitter, and unadorned... just like me. I am not expecting something green or white or clear or flavored and if you think you should serve that shit, give the person who's ordering a heads up. At the very least say, 'We have a few different flavors of tea. What kind would you like?' Iced tea is...tea steeped in water and then served over ice. There is nothing that saying steep it in fucking potpourri.

So strike one and two. Strike three...bland food, even the onions on my sandwich were flavorless. Same with Rich's salad. The most tasty thing we had was a Pepsi.

Our lunch was so bad we had to immediately rectify the situation and get something else to eat. You know a meal is bad when you have to do that. My taste buds are much happier now, thank you for asking.

gotta go and prepare for stuff... wouldn't you like to know! Details soon.

*picture of christian, brother of ollie!

My Husband Hearts Donna Brazile

My husband wants to be Donna Brazile's boo... he loves her and finds her incredibly sexy. Is it strange that I love my husband even more for having a crush on Ms. Brazile?

Get Away From ME, With That Thing! It Will Poke Your Eye Out.

Why does the wife always look so scared in these commericals?

"It's Making Banana Whoopie, Bob"

There are no words for these cookies...

Except they will literally make your knees buckle. Yes, they are that good. I give them the ECM stamp of approval. Not as well known as Good Housekeeping's Stamp but nevertheless...

They are moist and tender and so [insert expletive here] good! I think we need to do a Mad Libs Post. Remember those?

Bob, I like making whoopie pies in [noun] but Evil Chef [noun] likes to make hers in the [noun]. I expect that from her because she's a [adjective][sillyword]!

Banana Whoopie Pies ( Martha Stewart Living Sept. 2008)

2 cups all-purpose flour

½ teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon salt

½ cup mashed banana,from 1 large ripe banana

½ cup sour cream

4 ounces unsalted butter, softened (1 stick)

½ cup granulated sugar

½ cup packed light-brown sugar

1 large egg

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract, divided

16 oz. cream cheese, softened

1 cup confectioners’ sugar plus more for dusting

Preheat oven to 350°. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment. Sift flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt into a bowl. Combine banana and sour cream in another bowl. Beat butter and granulated and brown sugars with a mixer on medium-high speed, until pale and creamy, about 3 minutes. Add egg and ½ teaspoon vanilla, beating until incorporated. Add banana mixture in two additions, alternating with flour mixture. Transfer batter to a pastry bag fitted with a ¼-inch plain tip. Pipe batter in 1¼-inch rounds on baking sheets, spacing rounds 1½ inches apart. Bake until edges are golden, about 12 minutes. Slide parchment, with cookies, onto wire racks. Let cool. Unfilled cookies can be stored up to 1 day. Beat cream cheese, confectioners’ sugar, and remaining ½ teaspoon vanilla with a mixer on medium speed until smooth, about 2 minutes. Pipe or spoon 1 tablespoon cream mixture onto the flat sides of half of the cookies. Sandwich with remaining cookies. Dust with confectioners’ sugar, and serve immediately.

*Tasting Notes: Okay, when I made the batter it didn't taste banana-y enough, like something was missing but I couldn't put a finger on it. So I made an executive decision and let the dough rest for 24 hours. Bingo!

la patience jeune sauterelle

Translation: patience young grasshopper.

It's hard to be patient when you are making crêpes especially when James Brown is playing.

Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)
Stay on the scene, (get on up),
like a sex machine, (get on up)

Seriously, do even know how hard it is to be chill and wait for the crêpes to cook while The Godfather of Soul is telling you to get on up?! It's hard, I'm exhausted doing the splits and dancin' like a fool. I need my cape 'cause I can't go on.

Take 'em on to the bridge!


There are lot of recipes in Kathleen Flinn's book The Sharper Your Knife, The Less You Cry. Here's one that is seduction on a plate and easy too.

Crêpes à la Banane et au Nutella: (Kathleen Flinn)
*for all you who don't speak french... banana and nutella crepes

makes 8

Crêpe Batter:

3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/8 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar
1 cup milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 eggs
3 tablespoons unsalted butter,melted and cooled slightly

extra butter for coating the pan

Filling per crepe:

1 tablespoon Nutella
1/2 banana, sliced
1/4 teaspoon brown sugar (optional)

Prepare the crêpe batter by sifting the dry ingredients together in a bowl. Make a well in the center. In a separate bowl, stir together the milk and vanilla. Add one third of the milk mixture and the eggs to the well and beat with a whisk, slowly incorporating the flour. Then whisk in the remaining milk mixture and the melted butter. Allow the batter to rest for 30 minutes. The batter should have the consistency of heavy cream.

Heat a crêpe pan or a six-inch non stick skillet (you don't need no stinkin' crêpe pan) over medium heat. Brush with a bit of butter. The butter should melt and bubble but not brown rapidly. Adjust heat if needed. Scoop about 1/4 cup of batter to completely cover the bottom. If batter is too thick or the pan is too hot, the crêpe will have holes or burn. Add milk to batter or adjust heat. The crêpe is ready to flip when the bottom is golden brown, the edges look dry (almost ruffle-y), and the crêpe slides easily when you give the pan a good shake. This may take 30 seconds or three minutes... la patience jeune sauterelle. Go dance or something just don't mess with the crêpe. It gets ugly if you do, just step away from the pan ma'am... or in French, 'juste marcher loin de la casserole, madame.'

Flip the crêpe and quickly dollop the Nutella onto it and gently spread it around. Precision is not important. Add sliced bananas, and sprinkle with brown sugar. Remove from pan, and fold in half like an omelet. Serve on a plate or Parisian street food-style: wrapped in a paper towel or foil.

You can also freeze these. Don't fill but set aside to cool. Stack crêpes with alternating layers of parchment or wax paper. store in a gallon-size plastic bag, or wrap well with plastic wrap, and freeze for up to a month.

*tasting notes: très bon! I filled mine with raspberry jam and drizzled the top with Nutella. Bananas screw with my tummy but the sous chefs loved theirs. The only thing that would have made them better is if Eric Ripert served them to me in bed for breakfast. mmmmmm...

A Review and A Winner

... and a recipe from The Sharper Your Knife, The Less You Cry later on tonight. Yes, this book has some recipes in it too.

Starting over or starting something new seems to be a terrifying thought to most of us. I mean we think about moving somewhere or trying something new but then the dark thoughts start too creep in.

Dark thoughts go like this...

The I'm not good enough. [I really despise this one because I suffer from this one the most]

What will so and so think?

I don't have enough money.

Am I being selfish?

What about my family?

Personally, I think we love books like Kathleen Flinn's because we are scared to change. It is easier for someone else to take that risk and overcome that inertia we feel so we can read about it and savor someone else's victory as our own. The only way most people decide to move their life in a different direction is when something such as losing a job or a death to make us contemplate where we are in this world and what kind of life we strive for. Most of us can't do it alone. I know I can't. I need my own cheering squad to get me going.

Ms. Flinn [look at me going all New York Times on you] had her then boyfriend, now husband Mike. When she returned home to London from vacation and found out she was laid off from her job Mike said, 'No, you shouldn't come to Seattle. Because what I really think is that you should put your stuff in storage, go to Paris, and study at Le Cordon Bleu.' and then Ms. Flinn did what all of us would do, the dark thoughts crept in. She thought she'd never get another job, gotta pay the bills, ect. Then Mike told her one other thing, 'Sure you will, just go do this first. Why not? You're not married, you don't have kids, and now you don't have a job. Do you want to be on your deathbed, wondering why you never went.'

And there you go... she has her own cheering squad. Someone who said, 'Hey! I believe in you. Be happy. Take a risk. Believe in yourself. I'll support and love you NO. MATTER. WHAT.'

I don't want to give away the rest of the book, this isn't CliffNotes and Ms. Flinn has to make a living by selling books. Go pick up a copy because I'm starting to feel like Ms. Oprah.

and the winner is....

Tanya from Take The Cannoli

#8

*you're just going to have to trust me on this until I learn how to screen capture stuff.

Here is her comment: 'When I was single, I fantasized about moving to Italy and going to culinary school there. I am in love with the people, food, and culture. Now, I would love it if my husband and I could just pick up and move to the west coast. Apparently I just really want to move.'

Tanya please email me at evilchefmom @ aol .com with your address so I can ship off all your new found goodies.

Everyone else.... thank you for leaving comments. It was really fascinating to read what you would do, from helping the elderly to cooking school to traveling the world and learning from spiritual masters to the peace corps. I'm amazed at how different and varied your remarks were. So my next question is, how do we go about making some changes that would make our lives more fulfilling? I made a couple steps toward the goals I have set for myself but it took some of my biggest cheerleaders to show me the way. I promise I won't keep you in the dark for very much longer but for now it's baby steps.

[not] according to plan/giveaway

I had a plan. Really I did. Then all hell broke loose.

See on Saturday I went to Napa and I had a whole weeks posts planned out [in my head]. Sunday was going to be about my road trip and French Laundry [no, I didn't go].Wednesday was going to my post about French Laundry's Potato Gnocchi and today was going to be a contest day.


But then on Saturday night I had to watch this little Wee-One for a couple days...

because this little dude decided he wanted to join our family...early.

So then I couldn't talk about this lovely place [culinary institute of america greystone, st. helena, ca.]

because all this stuff was going to tie in to Napa Week on ECM.

So plans are shifted and rearranged and then MORE crap happens! Then I will not be able to get to White On Rice's party, which makes me very bummed out.

Why is it that families [his side] won't speak to each other or spread lies?

Why is it that in our family [both sides] going to the hospital happens in threes?

And what's funny is how this all ties in to my giveaway. Penguin Group gave me a copy of Kathleen Flinn's book, The Sharper Your Knife, The Less You Cry. I am going to do a review but for now in the spirit of this book I'm going to do things a little backward.

Kathleen Flinn, age 36, had a job in London and a new boyfriend that she goes on vacation with. When she comes back from vacation she finds out that she's been let go from her job. Her boyfriend, Mike, says 'Go enroll at the Le Cordon Bleu.' Kathleen does and learns some lessons along the way that things don't go according to plan but sometimes that's for the best.

Wow, what a blurb!

So here the deal. I'm giving away three books and some extra goodies.

The Sharper Your Knife, The Less You Cry by Kathleen Flinn [about love, life, and attending le cordon bleu cooking school and click on the link she also has a blog]

The Making Of A Chef by Michael Ruhlman [about attending cia cooking school]

The Elements of Cooking by Michael Ruhlman [the best way i can describe it is a reference book for cooking]

Also some other little surprises.

Here's the rules leave a comment, any comment but I would really like to know is if you were in Kathleen's place...what would you do? Keep in mind she didn't have kids or a husband. If you could go and do something for yourself, [throw caution to the wind] what would you do?

Contest will end Monday night at 7:00 pm pst. You can enter as many times as you would like and I will pick a winner using the Random Number Generator.

I'm leaving my blog in your hands for the weekend. Be kind and play nicely with each other. Don't let me come back and find you guys fighting. oh, that's right... you aren't my kids!

French Laundry's Potato Gnocchi

I received a package on Mother's Day weekend. It was just sitting on my front porch all innocent looking. I wasn't sure if I should open it because, well, I didn't order anything and maybe I had a stalker or something. Come to find out the package was from Todd and Diane . I now owe them my first and second born child for all the help, encouragement, and one French Laundry cookbook they have given me. I really wasn't holding out on on sharing my food porn with you all but I was so embarrassed and stunned by their generosity I was left speechless. [cough cough... that's hard to do]
Since I was hosting, I wanted to make a special dish for The Potato Ho Down. I looked no further than to my French Laundry Cookbook and anyways gnocchi is much better than beet ice cream.

*I call this picture French Laundry Cookbook and Mise en Place Noir.

French Laundry Potato Gnocchi:( by Keller, Ruhlman and Heller Publisher: Artisan)

2 pounds of russet potatoes

1 1/4 to 1 1/2 all-purpose flour

3 large egg yolks

2 tablespoons kosher salt

First bake your potatoes at 350 degrees for an hour or until done.

Split cooked potatoes and scoop out the insides and run through a potato ricer. Put the riced potatoes on a cutting board or counter and make a well in the center. Place a layer of about 1/2 cup flour in the well, add eggs, then another 1/2 cup layer of flour and salt. Chop up the potatoes, eggs, and flour with a dough scraper. Do it quick. The cookbook says it should only take 15 to 30 seconds. If you overwork the dough it will become like little lead balloons in your tummy.

Shape the dough into a ball and roll lightly in flour.

*no, it's not an albino penis but very phallic! shut up, you know you were thinking that.

Pull off a section of the dough and roll it by hand on a slightly floured surface. Roll it into a snake about 1/2 inch thick.

Cut into 1/2 inch pieces.

Ready to roll?

Using the back of a fork lightly press and roll until you get a nice oval shape with indentations. It takes practice.

They should look similar to these.

In batches, place gnocchi in a pot of boiling water that's been lightly salted. The gnocchi are cooked when they rise to the surface. Use a slotted spoon to remove them from the pot and let drain on a paper towel.

Serve with you favorite sauce. This time I sauteed the gnocchi with some mushrooms in butter with white wine, shallots and splash of cream.

Tasting Notes: I have made gnocchi before using different recipes but this was by far the easiest recipe I had ever used. Go figure.

First, let's say a little prayer for the culinary sin I am about to tell you.

You know what makes gnocchi better? Deep fry them. Yes, I said it. Deep. Fry. Them. At Christmas dinner last year my family said, "these would be even better if you fried them." I was horrified and shocked that they would even mention it. The horror! I did it just prove them wrong and shut them up but guess who had to eat some humble pie for dessert? I did.

Bless me Mr. Keller for I have sinned...

This is Christina Shane's FL Potato Gnocchi.

Y'all Ready?

It's about that time. It's the third Wednesday of August 2008, it's time to stand up and declare your absolute love of the potato and declare that, "Yes. Yes, I am a Potato Ho, and damn proud of it."

There is no shame in loving the lowly tuber. We might be a little puffy but who in the hell cares? Life without carbs would seriously suck. So folks without further ado...

Claudia from cook.eat.FRET sent me a private email saying,

'my latest pizza post features yukon golds thinly sliced with taleggio, pancetta, fresh rosemary, thyme and parmigiano

the end'

I think she was rubbing it in. Like ner,ner,ner,ner,ner...I made pizza with potatoes and you didn't. I have her private e-mail if you want the recipe because she didn't include it in her e-mail.

Duchess Grace from Baking Delights made smokey smashed potatoes. She swears that there are so many seductive flavors that your tongue will think it is on Fantasy Island.

Did I ever tell you I had a thing for Tattoo? I think it's because I'm taller than him.

Bellini Valium from more than burnt toast made Pomme Puree with Basil Puree. I loved her e-mail to me...

'This is not a recipe that can be altered or changed except to add your own flavour combinations, so, the instructions are just as chef Gordon Ramsay has written....the recipe is after all on how to create the perfect Pomme Puree.'

Oh snap. Was that a little dig after what happened to Melissa from Alosha's Kitchen?

I'm sure most of you read Equal Opportunity Kitchen. The mother/daughter tag team of Giz and Psychgrad but guess what? Psychgrad's boyfriend R contributed to this month's Ho-Down. We have ourselves a pimp. I'll try to refrain from all Jay-Z Big Pimpin' references it won't be to hard because his name is Teddy Leslie. Teddy made Poutine. Poutine for those who don't know is fries, gravy, and cheese curds. Drunk, drinking, hangover food! Especially when you be big pimpin' spendin' cheese.

I swear I'm done.

Cicero Bethell of Cats, Books, Life is Good made us some Honey Mustard Chicken and Potatoes skewers.

Potatoes, chicken, honey mustard? All together? I'm coming over.

Sparky Marie decided to make this. It's Scalloped Sweet Potatoes in Lemon-Ginger Cream Sauce. Check this description out:

'All Potato Ho’s know the value of custard with their potato. Thinly sliced sweet potatoes in a creamy, sauce…it’s Holicious.'

Then she had the nerve to say have fun with all the links.

ho.

Gussie Gail of miscellany made Rockin' Potato Salad. It's a basic potato salad with shhhhh! 'a secret ingredient'. I'm sure that Cook's Illustrated has it already copyrighted.

Lollipop Ann from The Cutting Edge Of Ordinary has made us Garlic and Lime Sweet Potatoes. It also has cilantro in it, I tell you this because I can swear I can smell this through the computer screen. When are they going to make Smell-O-Internet for food blogs? I need to know.

Where's My Damn Potato Recipe? Maxine Denise wants to know. The chicks from Where's My Damn Answer? are serving up Tex-Mex Baked Potatoes.

'Looks are not Everything - I may not be pretty on the outside but on the inside I ROCK!!'

Baby, anytime you stuff a potato it will make you beautiful in my eyes... every time.

I made homemade gnocchi from Thomas Keller's French Laundry Cookbook. I'm all about the food porn and the master is Thomas Keller. I can only grovel at his feet.

Light little potato pillows in a cream and mushroom sauce. You know you want it.

Sherli Hon Dory of [eatingclub] vancouver cooked up these lovely things... Faux Kamote-Que. What in the hell, Bobby? I sure didn't know what these were until I read their post. Now I want some, these are on the must make list. I'm not telling you what they are except you need to think sweet potatoes and brown sugar. How come you taste so good?

I need to say something here about the next entry. Just the blog name and her ho name scream "Luscious Food Porn!" It's Addison Kitty from Not Quite Nigella. Addison made Potato Bread. Mmmm... potatoes and bread...not quite like Homer Simpson but close enough.

Milky Lee from Fig & Cherry, has decided to go go the opposite of meat and potatoes. She's gone vegan with Sweet Potato and Coconut Soup. Five ingredients and healthy and easy. She's a ho with a heart of gold.

Riley Marie from dlyn is a ho after my own heart. Potato Gratin with Feta and Herbs. She used, I swear, a bowl full of herbs straight from her garden. I want to be her neighbor so I can sneak over and pick all her flowers.

It wouldn't be a Ho-Down without a few gratins. Here's Tawny Jo's entry... Gratin of Potatoes with Ham, Egg, and Onion. It has breakfast written all over it.

Tilly Ann is a baaaaaad girl. She's snarking it up a bit and sticking it to the Bow Tied Man. The man food bloggers are having issues with. The man who's name makes me want to spit venom. Tilly made 'A Rogue Potato Salad: Warning: It has no recipe. It has not been tested 100 times.'

Tilly, I'm in love with you.

I'm in love with Tilly but I'm lusting after these. I know it looks like chocolate brownies and they are but they have potatoes in them. I KNOW! That's flippin' awesome. You know what's even better? Her Ho name, Indy Ana. I just want to hum the theme song to the Indiana Jones soundtrack. I picture Indy running around the kitchen dodging knives, whipping stuff with a... whip.

October Noelle decided to go against the grain and make smashed potatoes. '

'A virtuous version of a comfort-food classic that doesn't call for leaving out anything tasty or replacing it with goody-two-shoes fat substitutes!'

Can ho's be virtuous? Is that an oxymoron?

ELRA... that's her ho name and she's sticking to it. I'm trying to find out what the acronym stands for but it's late and I'm tired. I'm sure one of you will figure it out. ELRA baked up some potato bread that's 'Crusty, Chewy and Easy to Make'

Olive, The Other Relish, did something awesomely cool... Mini Baked Potatoes. If all of us Potato Ho's had a get together. You know these would be gone is a flash. There would be cat fights over some mini potatoes. Don't ever get between a girl and her potato!

It's been hot in my neck of the woods and I am looking forward to fall and all the good food that comes with it. To make me jealous Skipper Maria decides to enter this in the Ho-Down. Calde Verde (Portuguese Creamy Potato and Kale Soup) she calls it pure comfort.

Trixie Belle Cooks Roasted Green Bean and Potato Salad with Soppressata and Mozzarella. Mmm... Soppressata, mozzarella and potatoes. You have all your food groups together in one bowl.

Melissa Z send me an e-mail for her potato recipe without any links... bad girl. I'm pretty sure I know which Melissa it is but I could be wrong. So for now I'm going to call her... Call Girl Z.

*update... Melissa Z is A Gold Diggin' Ho!

3 sweet potatoes
4 white or red or both potatoes
1 large onion chopped
2 large cloves of garlic
salt and pepper to taste
olive oil

Peel sweet potatoes, if using white potatoes peel, if using red leave the skin on. Cut up into chunks. I cut the sweet potatoes larger cause they cook faster.


Place in 9x13 pan and drizzle olive oil across the top. Mix, I use my hands, and make sure all of the spuds have olive oil on them. You might need to add more.

Bake at 400 degrees for an hour. I always check at 45 minutes. Sometimes it takes longer.

These are so good. You can also cook them in a large fry pan on the stove top.

PS I have a gas oven so sometimes my cooking times are off.

I'm pretty sure I have included everyone. If I haven't, be kind. I will fix any mistakes I have made. I forgot how hard and exhausting it is to watch a 18 month old kid. I'm sure my mind purposely forgot because after having 3 in a row because if I didn't forget I would have killed myself a long time ago. Anybody who is taking care of a wee little one... wow... all I can say is wow.

I wanted to say thank you for doing this with Cathy and I. Eventually I hope to get to all of your blogs and actually comment on them. This whole month has been a little screwy and hopefully things will go back to normal or what I consider normal.

All righty then... the torch is now passed to my favorite wheezy one and her little chihuahuas.

Thandi from my easy cooking snuck in with this late entry. Potatoes fried with blue cheese and served with a carmelized pear. She's a naughty naughty girl!

Introducing...

Introducing Zachary Preston...

Born Sunday August 17th at approximately 10:00 pm.

7 lbs. 3 oz. 22 inches long.

He definitely has that new baby smell, so all is well in the world.

Mother and baby are doing well.

Wee-One... not so much.