Hey! Where Have You Been?

Oh yeah, that's right, I'm the one who has been gone. Let me see if I can give you some excuses for the reason I've been away...

1. Crazy Busy...

2. Baseball, Soccer, Baseball, Soccer...

3. Farmer In The Dell... (I was a farmer for a day...using a hand plow and explaining the importance of corn in the pioneer days)

4. I Only Have One Computer & 4 Kids... (Reports and Finals... You Do The Math)

5. I Haven't Cooked All Week Because Of Reasons 1 through 4... So Much For Having A Food Blog

...or for a alternate title

6. Wait! I Have A Food Blog?!

Confession Time...

I cried before the wedding when I saw my Dad in his tux which almost made him cry... so much for being Evil Chef Mom...

I ate fast food 3 times this week... other than that, it was leftovers. Not. Good.

Please forgive me for I have sinned.

Cherry Gelato (Gourmet Magazine June 2008)

For gelato:

1/2 vanilla bean, halved lengthwise

3 1/2 cups whole milk

1/2 cup turbinado sugar such as Sugar in the Raw

2 Tbsp cornstarch

For cherries:

1/2 lb bing cherries (1 1/2 cups; do not substitute frozen), pitted

2 Tbsp turbinado sugar

1 tsp pure almond extract

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

Make gelato: Scrape seeds from vanilla bean with tip of a paring knife into a small heavy saucepan. Add milk and a pinch of salt and bring just to a boil, then remove from heat. Meanwhile, whisk together sugar and cornstarch, then add 1/2 cup hot milk, whisking until smooth. Whisk into milk in saucepan. Bring to a simmer, whisking, then simmer, whisking, 3 minutes (mixture will be thick). Immediately pour through a fine-mesh sieve into a metal bowl set in an ice bath. Cool to room temperature, stirring occasionally, about 10 minutes.


Remove from ice bath and chill, covered, 1 hour.

Prepare cherries: Pulse cherries, sugar, and extracts in a food processor until finely chopped, then chill, covered, 1 hour.

Make ice cream: Stir cherries with their juices into gelato mixture and freeze in ice cream maker. Transfer to an airtight container and put in freezer to harden, at least 2 hours.

Tasting Notes: If you added some chocolate chips or chunks, I swear this would have tasted just like Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia. It was good but I wanted a more true cherry flavor and I think to do that, you would need to add another 1/2 cup of cherries and only add about 1/2 teaspoon of almond extract.

*update: I added two cups of pureed cherries and only 1/2 teaspoon of almond extract. I also strained the puree before adding it to the ice cream mixture. So much better. A true cherry taste.

Me want cookies!!!!


Remember this one time at band camp, when I went to Point Reyes and I told you I had a cookie recipe for you? I'm sure you've been waiting with baited breath, haven't you? But then ECM just upped and left you hanging.

After having these cookies here, I just had to make them. While these cookies aren't exactly the same, they are pretty darn close. I'm thinking I might have to call them up and see if they will share their recipe.

Chocolate Chip, Pecan, Coconut Bars: (adapted from a couple different recipes)

2 1/4 cups unsifted all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup butter, softened

3/4 cup granulated sugar

3/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar

2 large eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 cup whole pecans, do not chop them! I swear this is what made them such a stand out.

3 good sized handfuls of shredded sweetened coconut (Me, measure? Come on now, this is me we are talking about. )

Preheat oven to 375ºF. In a small bowl combine flour, baking soda and salt; set aside. In a large bowl cream butter, sugar and brown sugar until light. Beat in eggs and vanilla until smooth. Gradually add flour mixture until combined. Stir in chips and pecans. Spread evenly into greased 10x15x1-inch pan. Bake at 375ºF for 20-25 minutes. Cool before cutting into bars.

Tasting Notes: Yummy, yummy in my tummy! Especially warm with a glass of cold milk.

Now that I have posted two recipes and you got your Evil Chef Mom fix, do you forgive me? All three of my readers...

Wedding pictures tomorrow and sous chef numero uno's crazy idea.

Moron

The scene: ECM at the Jack In The Box drive thru window. ECM is in the car alone and has just ordered food and drinks for six people.

"Would you like a cup holder?" asks the drive thru chick.

It took all my strength not to be a hot tranny mess and reach over and choke her.

Do I want a cup holder? Hello! I'm alone! Eeeee-diot!

A confession and two recipes later today.

Ask ECM & The Sous Chefs... Elliot Gould Edition

You guys asked... and I'm about to spill the beans. Everything you wanted to know will be answered here.

Kristen asked...Ooo, I love being nosy and asking questions! Let's see . . . how about the hands-down WORST food you ever made?

I took a straw poll and Rich, the Husband or My Kitchen Bitch, and the sous chefs all answered the same...Burnt Stew! I vaguely remembering making it but holy cow! Everyone of them remembered how bad it was. When I asked the question, the response was in stereo. It was bad, it was bad, it was really, really bad! It was so bad I must have repressed the memory.

Meg asked...Krysta, if you could only cook ONE dish for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Oh wow! This is a toughie. Probably some sort of pasta just because you can make a million different things and not get tired of it and anyways I'd be one grumpy gus if I didn't have some carbs in me.

Meg also asked...And Sous Chef Katie, as a former CAT program student (my school's equivalent to IP) I have an ip question. Why? Why'd you do it? :)And what's your favorite and LEAST favorite part of it?

Katie says... I did it because I'm a stupid idiot and I want to get to college and didn't want to go to private catholic school, that HER father would have made her attend, and her best friend was also going to IB.

Faves: a sense of community and she knows she'll get to college.

Least Faves... Theatre teacher is retiring, brain washing or the sometimes cult-ish behavior, and stupid people (she's a snob, that's me speaking)

Melissa asked about Katie celebrity crush and she talked about last meals. So I asked the Kitchen Bitch and the Sous Chefs about their last meals...

Rich or K.B.... he's gonna go out pissed off and hungry!

Katie... steak, risotto, eel sushi, mom's apple dessert, green olives, a In-N-Out burger, and some red wine.

Drew Fan... Fillet of Fish sandwich from McDonald's, fries and German chocolate cake.

Willster...jerk chicken, fries, a hamburger, beet ice cream, and a beer. He doesn't care what kind of beer but then again he's only eleven, he better not have a favorite brand of beer.

Julia (Katie's friend who is spending the night and made my awesome banner)...a cyanide pill

Umm...two of my kids want some sort of alcohol. Should I be worried?

Neen asked...My question for Ask ECM is provoked by the whole romantic getaway/wedding theme: How did you meet Rich and/or do you have any fun stories about your early times together?

Memories,
Like the corners of my mind,
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were

Can't you just hear me wailing this song? So you want the dirt? Can you handle it? Rich was my boss! At TARGET! Oh yeah, I slept with the boss man! I'm one of those girls. I quickly rectified that whole situation now by reminding him that he's not my boss and I might still consider filing sexual harassment charges against him. We have plenty of good fun stories but Rich says none of them are fit to print.

Magpie asked...I also want to know Nancy's favorite dessert and how she got her name.

Nancy got her name because... this is tough. Rich's parents were in a horrific car accident. A car swerved and hit them head-on on a two lane highway at least at 55 miles an hour. Everyone in the other car died, a whole family. Including a one year old and the mother who was nine months pregnant. My in-laws were severely hurt and in the hospital for a long time. During this time Rich and I found out I was pregnant (again, you would have thought by now we could have learned about birth control) we told my mother-in-law if it was a girl we would name the baby after her. So that's how Nancy got her name.

Favorite Dessert:

Nancy Goat...root beer float

Katie...mom's apple dessert, homemade vanilla ice cream with chopped walnuts and chocolate syrup

Drew Fan...root beer float, homemade ice cream, carrot cake

Willster..beet ice cream, strawberry shortcake (at this point in the conversation everyone groaned and Katie said something like,"you are strange" then mumbled something about being a suck up)

Rich...rocky road ice cream, if my wife would make me some homemade rocky road ice cream I'd be her slave forever... I just made up that last part.

And one more thing Magpie... the wooden surface I use to take most of my pictures on is just a plain ol' cutting board, but she sure does take a good picture, doesn't she?

Heaven asked... As for questions, if there was only one recipe you could make sure each of your kids know when they leave home, what would it be?And for the Sous Chefs, what is one of your Mama's recipes that you would love to make on your own?

I would make sure the sous chefs knew how to make risotto but the sous chefs have other plans...

Katie... risotto and sauteed mushrooms

Drew Fan... tri-tip and pompey's casserole (translation: grandpa's casserole)

Nancy Goat... nachos

Willster... potato soup

Rich... risotto

I'm thinking either A. I haven't made risotto in a while and they subliminally telling me to make it for them or B. I make good risotto.

Now... I have to answer the last question. Look at all those guys up there eagerly awaiting the answer.

Who is Katie's celebrity crush?

She will answer this question with a straight face and in all seriousness. Elliot Gould in the Ocean's movies. Ohhhhh no, she doesn't like Brad or Matt or George. Not even the bit players like Don Cheadle, Casey Affleck, or Scott Caan. Nope... she's in love with Elliot Gould and not the young one either. She likes the big glasses, ruffled tux shirt wearing Elliot Gould.

You know Elliot is thinking.."Yup, I've still got it." and poor George looks all heartbroken. Come here George, it will be okay. She's young and doesn't know any better. I still love you.

What's For Dinner?

Kids:"Hey Mom, what's for dinner?"

ECM:"Candy with pork and beans."

Point Reyes Part II

Click here if you haven't read the first post about Point Reyes.

So... did you enjoy the view? Are you well rested? Because we have to go back up. There is much more to see and do.

Three hundred and eight steps, no problem. I do that on the stair master. Pawshaw...

Ready feet, start walking...

Hold on, wait a second! I have to go all the way back up, to that dome like building on all the up on the right hand side? You're killing me, Smalls...

I didn't want to show you this sign that greets you before you start your trek down to the lighthouse or you would have never wanted to go. Someone wasn't screwing around when they wrote that sign.

There are rest stops to sit and rest every one hundred steps, but the best way when there aren't so many people around is to stop every ten steps or so and enjoy the view, that's how the rangers do it because those stairs kick their asses too.

Everybody caught their breath? Good, onward.

One of the neatest things at Point Reyes is the life saving cemetery. The Life Saving Station opened up in 1890 (this was before the Coast Guard) to help save the lives of ship men whose boats had wrecked on the coast. The cemetery is not located anywhere near the Station itself. It's actually on a private ranch road with a little sign pointing the way. You park your car next to some cows that are 6 feet away with no fence to separate you from them (it feels sort of like the movie Cujo, except with cows) and walk up a grass road. There are no signs pointing you in the right direction there was only this marker in the ground.

George Larson died in 1893 from an accidental capsizing of his boat during a practice drill.

There are only seven marked graves in the cemetery and one seemed to be a family.

This is the view looking out from the cemetery. It was peaceful, quiet, and lovely. A perfect place to be spend eternity.

Hungry? Yeah, so am I. Let's hop back into the car and go back to Point Reyes Station to get some cheese...

Umm, yeah, about that. I had been looking forward to going to the Cowgirl Creamery . We walked into Tomales Bay Foods where the CG Creamery is located and went to the cheese counter. The two cheese gals behind the counter couldn't be bothered to help me or Rich. When we asked 'what's good?', their response was 'let us know if you want to try something.' and then they went back to finish their conversation about some other lady and her husband and jacked up family. We bought the Tomales Bag for twenty five bucks and spent our money elsewhere.

In the bag...

Point Reyes Original Blue... (bottom cheese pictured) the best blue cheese ever... it was almost worth the crappy customer service.

Matos St. George...(not shown) still haven't tried yet, looks promising.

Redwood Hill Farm's California Crottin... (top cheese pictured)a goat cheese. It was just eeeeh. Kind of bland, not very tangy. Just eeeeh, probably really good in a salad, just blah on its own.

Cowgirl Creamery's Mt Tam... (middle cheese pictured)this is their signature cheese. A triple cream that was so smooth and rich, almost like butter.

I also bought a tub of creme fraiche. (not shown)

Speaking of spending our money elsewhere. We took a walk around town and in the middle of this feed barn there is Toby's Coffee Bar. It really looked like that and that guy drinking coffee behind the counter was there. They had the best iced tea ever. It wasn't bitter or sweetened. Oh man, was it ever so good.

I, also bought a Queen's Coconut Bar. It's a chocolate chip, pecan, coconut cookie bar. Recipe tomorrow.

Hey! Are you awake? Just to see if your paying attention that's the wedding picture. What do you guys think?

Coming up this week...

Cherry Gelato

Chocolate Chip, Pecan, and Coconut cookie bars

Ask Evil Chef Mom & The Sous Chef's... (great band name) if you have any questions or just feel like being a nosy busy body or if you need to know the meaning of life you have until Wednesday night to get your questions in.

Point Reyes

There is something at about Point Reyes that is a balm for my soul. Once you get off of the Thirty-Seven and on to Lucas Valley Drive, the world slows down. I can feel my shoulders start to loosen and my breathing becomes slow. More often than not, when we take these drives I'm pointing out something to the kids or yelling at them to stop it for whatever crimes they are committing against each other. When it's Rich and I by ourselves we talk about work, what I'm writing, the future, baseball and why the Giants pitching stinks (we talk baseball a lot), politics, if we won the lottery but sometimes, like yesterday, we are off in our own little worlds and don't speak and the drive becomes quite and almost meditative.

These first three pictures are of Inverness. I love Inverness, it seems like home. I always feel comfortable there. The sky becomes big and the land opens up to reveal Tomales Bay.

Once you pass through Inverness and start heading west on Sir Francis Drake Drive, the landscape totally changes from coastal pines to grassland. To me it's very stark and I can imagine what California used to be like a long time ago, without the cars, traffic, and people. I'm sure some people freak out when they don't get reception for their cell phones. I love that no one can get a hold of me. I am invisible, unreachable, and untouchable. I can breathe and let go because it just doesn't matter here.

There is only a little sign that lets you know you are entering Point Reyes National Seashore. You don't have to pay an entrance fee. It's all very wild. If you never have been... you feel lost, there aren't many signs directing you where to go and you start to see cattle on the side of the road, making you feel like you are definitely lost.

Those steers shooting you dirty looks don't help much. That picture is actually closer than it appears. Those steers were on the side of the road with no fence separating us.

And we also had to wait for the rooster to cross the road. Yes, the little dude really had to get to the other side.

There are ranches inside the park. I'm going to give a very rough and brief history about the ranches... The Coastal Miwok Indians had the land first, then came the Spanish and the missionaries, then the gold rush settlers, they all farmed this land. Then the Americano Ranchers farmed here and did some really bad record keeping which resulted in lots of litigation. Oops. Then a law firm in San Fransisco obtained the title of the land and started issuing leases of the ranches that they divided up into parcels naming the ranches A-Z. Then the Depression hit, some of the ranches and diary farms closed. In the 50-60's, people figured out there was a lot of money to be made if the land was developed, so the farmers and the Sierra Club came to an agreement to preserve the land (it wasn't pretty or easy, actually it was ugly and messy). In 1962, President Kennedy explicitly provided for the retention of the ranches in a designated pastoral zone, with ranchers signing 25-30 year reservations of use and occupancy leases, and special use permits for cattle grazing. So the ranches and diaries you drive through today are on federal land that the government leases back to the ranches. I love that about this park. It has a certain funky charm. I am always curious to know how much the leases are. Here you are on this million dollar land with views of the ocean and wildlife everywhere... what does the government charge?

So once you drive through the ranches and dairies with cows and chicken, then you see this.

A stretch of beach that goes forever. More often than not, it's foggy and windy but yesterday... yesterday was a gift. It was clear and warm (52 degrees) and a light wind (5-15 mph winds) the winds average about 40-60 mph on a regular basis and a recorded wind speed of 133 mph. Yeah, I'm a weather nerd, got a problem with that? This was the perfect day to go and no one was there. Maybe about 20 people at most, throughout the whole time we were at the lighthouse.

This is my favorite shot. {click on the picture for better view} Check out that little birdie basking in the sunshine. On the walk towards the lighthouse, there in the middle of nowhere is a rusty old electrical meter. Who reads it?

And then there is all the wildlife. Tule elk, deer, seals, lizards, and in a park ranger's scope, I saw a baby peregrine falcon. Sorry, I don't have a good enough lens for that.

On the 308 steps down to the light house, there is a lot to look at. The lichen grows everywhere, even on the chain link fences. Most of it is either this rusty orange red color, some of it's green and other times it's this purple-y black color.

Here's the view on the way down. It's not a problem going down, it's the going back up that's interesting. That will be tomorrows post.

But before we go back up... let's sit, bask in the sun, and enjoy the view.

Links...

history of the lighthouse

ranches and diary farms
live weather and views

Click on the pictures for a bigger-better view.

Tomorrow... steps, a 30 story building, the best iced tea in the world, a good cookie, and some stinky cheese with really stinky service...

And none of these pictures are the wedding gift

Road Trippin'

Road trippin with my two favorite allies
Fully loaded we got snacks and supplies
Its time to leave this town
Its time to steal away
Lets go get lost
Anywhere in the u.s.a.
Lets go get lost
Lets go get lost

The Man and I have a babysitter so we're going on a road trip. I'm pretty sure you can guess where we're going and no, we are not going there by skateboard, silly goose! Hopefully, I'll have some pictures to share when I get back and maybe some cheese.

So while I'm away, the mice.... will ask questions....

What?!

What do you want to know about ECM and the little sous chefs?

Favorite Candy Bar?

Last meal on Earth?

Why do you always post movie quotes and song lyrics?

Would I really divorce my husband if Bourdain came knocking on my door?

All will be answered... stay tuned

P.S. Ask Sous Chef Katie who her secret celebrity crush is... you won't be disappointed!

Passion Tea- Lemonade Sorbet

Blah! Bleeech!

That's how I have felt for the last couple days. It's so bad that I know I shouldn't post until I'm feeling back to my normal perky, snarky self. Can you be both perky and snarky at the same time? Is that an oxymoron or am I an oxymoron? Since I'm blogging in live time, Sous Chef Nancy, all of ten years, read that last sentence over my shoulder and said, "Mom, it's because it's windy outside." Since she's been a baby, really windy days, like today, set her on edge. Maybe she's right, maybe it is the wind.

Everyone has opinion about Starbucks. Either they love it or can't stand it. I'm kind of indifferent to it. I can go either way, I'm a Starbucks switch hitter but that's because I'm not a true coffee drinker. I don't even own a coffee maker. I do like their shaken passion tea-lemonade (non-sweetened, please.) When it's hot, like the past couple days, it hits the spot.

If you have had passion tea, skip the next couple sentences while I talk about how this tastes... passion tea has hibiscus flowers, natural tropical flavors (huh?), licorice, orange peel, cinnamon, rose hips, and lemongrass. Now mix that with some lemonade and you have a great summer drink, it's just too bad they don't put a little paper umbrella in it. I'd pay more for that especially on a day like today, but then my umbrella would go flying out of my drink and poke me in the eye. Then I would trip and fall breaking two ribs and a femur, all the while that stupid song "umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh" would be stuck in my head. Then the paramedics would show up and more than likely it would be my gorgeous guitar playing high school crush/best friend throughout high school (yup, he's a paramedic) and for the pain he would give me some Vicodin, which I'm allergic to, though I don't tell him this, which would then make me itch and throw up my passion tea lemonade... all over him. I would be mortified and would never enjoy life again.

Last summer I had a light bulb go off in my head. This would make a great sorbet. So I googled and googled and googled and nothing came up. Crap! I've got to create my own recipe. The only problem I have had is it doesn't set up well for me. Everything is chilled and I follow the ice cream makers directions but doesn't want to turn in to a sorbet. Mine turns out more like an Italian ice or a granita but you know what, it's still very good and tastes great on a hot day. I think adding some vodka or making this into some sort of margarita. Hey, maybe I should have a couple drinks, that will improve my mood or maybe I'll just post the recipe and get this over with.

Passion Tea-Lemonade Sorbet:

1 Filterbag of the Tazo Iced Passion Tea, you can buy this at Starbucks or some grocery stores also carry it. If you can't find the iced tea bags about 3-4 bags of the regular Tazo Passion Tea.

1 quart of boiling water

1 quart if lemonade, I like Simply Lemonade

Brew Tazo Passion Tea according to directions on box. After the tea brews for 5 minutes, add one quart of lemonade instead of water. Let chill. I add a little agave nectar, about two tablespoons. You could add honey or a little simple syrup or do not add anything. Just adjust to your taste. Prepare chilled mixture to your ice cream makers directions.

And when it's finished you can sit back and enjoy the taste of Starbucks and summer without waiting in some god-forsaken long ass line, then you also won't trip and break a femur and throw up on the cute paramedic while singing "umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh." Look at all that pain and time I am saving you. Just make the damn sorbet is all I'm saying.

Where In The World?

A while back I posted a poll about where you wanted to send ECM with twenty dollars. The African-Caribbean Mini Market won overwhelmingly. You thought I forgot, didn't you?

This morning I went to the African-Caribbean Mini Market with twenty dollars in my pocket. I would have some pictures but this place is in a sketchy place right next door to a porn shop, I kid you not. It's one of those places you keep your money and ID in your front pocket and leave your camera at home.

I love this shop! It's tiny with African masks covering every available space. Videos from Africa and clothes and fabrics and.... SPICES! I mean there were spices everywhere. Spices and herbs and...and...and... it was great. Ramatu, the owner of the store answered all my questions, very patiently I might add. Neen and Do, when you get to California, if you come around my hometown, she wants to meet you. She says she loves meeting people who have lived in Africa and cook the food. And see those Maggi beef bouillon and crayfish cubes, those are for you. If can e-mail me your address, I'll ship them out to you.

So from the left are a bag of plantain chips. These are Ramatu's favorite chips. She asked me if I prefer sweet or salty, I told her I'd rather have salty. Thin and crunchy almost like a potato chip. Really good with my pulled pork sandwich I had for lunch.


Chef "Chili" Bonner's Pit Stop Chili Mix n' Spice. I bought this because it's made here in town. You gotta support the local guys when you can.


Next is Naranja Agria or sour orange marinating sauce. This has a lot of possibilities. I'm thinking of a marinating a pork shoulder or some ribs with some jerk seasoning and slowly smoking it. If you have got any suggestions, I all ears.

The Maggi crayfish and beef bouillon are going to Neen and Do. They have a recipe for Chiebu Djen a type of African fish stew(?) that desperately needs this ingredient or so they say.

Seventy cents change from my twenty, a receipt, and some business cards.

I could have been more adventurous but I would have gone way over my budget. So for June you can send me to three places...

1. The Crosstown Farmers Market. This is held every Saturday morning under the Crosstown freeway. It was also named number one in Saveur magazines top 100 in 2007 above Thomas Keller. Go figure and our lovely newspaper barely said a word about this. We beat Thomas Keller?! Actually a lot of chefs make the trek up here from the Bay Area to hit up this farmers market. It has a lot of Asian produce that is hard to find. Please send me here.

2. India Bazaar.

3. Asian Supermarket.

Poll is on the upper right hand corner of my blog and you have until May 25th to decide.

A Week of Leftovers...in pictures

Waterlily in my fountain/pond... the raccoons call it their free personal sushi bar...

Graduation night party...

I promise when the frat guys come running through, I'll take some pictures...

Mother's Day Tulips...

Sous Chef Katie made Smitten Kitchen's Salted Oatmeal Cookies.

Do You Hear That?

There are some things to be said about living across the street from a university...

The Good:

1. Interesting and smart neighbors. Like Mr. S for example. Mr. S is an old cranky professor. He has to be AT LEAST 90. My grandmother remembers him teaching when she was young and well, as much as I love my grandmother, she's no spring chicken! Mr. S. is short, around my height, 5'0 and maybe a 100 pounds. He's the little fussy kind of professor. Mr. S plays the carillon at Burns Tower. He plays the bells I hear every hour starting at 7:00 AM until 11:00 at night, when the good night song plays. The song is actually the alma mater song, Pacific Hail. I just call it the good night song and Mr. S doesn't sit there all day long play, it's programmed to chime except on one day... more on that in a second...

2. Having a beautiful place to walk.

3. The sports. It's especially fun to root for your neighbors who play on the basketball team, the women's volleyball team, and the baseball team.

The Bad:

1. Finals. Why are finals bad? I 'm not taking them. They are bad because our neighbors that are students have their heads up their asses. They cross streets without looking, park in your driveway, block your driveway, just generally aren't paying attention.

2. Parties. Actually the parties don't bother me so much until 9 cops all in separate cars show up! It was a doozy.

The Ugly:

1. Graduation is ugly. You can't even get down your street where you live. People park in your driveway or block your driveway. I always want to say, "Now I see where your kid gets it from."

2. The Graduation Bells... The carillon starts ringing at 8:00 AM and doesn't stop! While it's lovely every hour with the Westminster Chime and at 12:30, 5:30, 6:00, 6:30 song. It get a little annoying when it never let's up. I will hear bells in my sleep. My dreams are accompanied to music.

The Funny:

Every year seeing the nearly naked frat guys running down our street singing, "I Enjoy Being A Girl"

Eyeballs, Epiphanies, and Steely Dan

Random bits...

Stockton, Ca. had a high temperature of 103 on Thursday. Gotta love the valley heat. Jesus H. Christ, it's hot and we don't have an air conditioner.

As if you don't already know... Best Buy sucks donkey balls. Don't sell me the wrong 60 dollar HDMI cord in this heat. Seriously. Oh and don't tell me you are never wrong, jack ass because that will also not go over well in this heat. Hey, I got an idea for the people at Best Buy... next to the price of the item, list EVERYTHING you will need to purchase extra for said merchandise or cross merchandise it or better yet... pay your sales people better and give them some training.

My kids know all the lyrics to every Steely Dan song known to man. How'd that happen?

Overheard:

"When I get a girlfriend, I'm going to give this necklace to her." Sous Chef Will, all of eleven years old, said this about his pukka shell necklace.

"It's just Honor Roll. It doesn't mean anything."

"I had an epiphany yesterday, I think I want to go to Berkeley." After being a Stanford girl for many, many years.

New things I learned this week... and it's all about the eyes.

Drew's eye muscles flicker when he tries to focus them into something. Instead of pulling in to focus on something coming at him they twitch out and away.

Goat's eyes under a 3-d microscope are really cool. Something about how your iris or pupil in the embryo stage doesn't form... it's solid, then it grows in. Sometimes it doesn't pull back(?!) Hers didn't pull back all the way so she has this golden, orangish arrow that goes through her iris and pupil. Nope, it doesn't affect her vision in the slightest but it's really awesome to look at.

The eye doctor says he rarely sees either of these things. I have a bunch of circus freaks for kids. Don't get me started on the witches toe!

You know you'll never get the time back that you spent reading this post and for that I am truely sorry. Actually it's hot and I don't care. I just wanted to spread the misery. Isn't that kind of me?

Hannah's Chicken, Hannibal Lecter and Bourdain... A Fairy Tale

Once a upon a time, there was a little strawberry blonde princess named Hannah. She use to live with this big ol' meanie named ECM. ECM made all Hannah's cousins and even the fair princess cook and clean just like that other fairy tale chick, Cinderelly. (Cinderelly, Cinderelly, night and day it's Cinderelly, make the fire, fix the breakfast...) ECM also made them peel potatoes, gut squid, and even clean out the pit of fire in the dungeon. She was a horrible and mean lady. One day, ECM was watching her husband, King Bourdain, on TV. The King was visiting the far reaches of an unknown land called the Tex-Mex border to bring home a long forgotten recipe called Corona Chicken. ECM decided to make this so-called Corona Chicken, even though there was no Corona beer in it. When ECM served this chicken to the fair little princess who ate like a little bird, she warned Hannah, "You probably won't like this, my pretty. It will be spicy and yucky poison! Bwahahaha" Hannah turned around ate the whole thing and came back for seconds. From then on, all around the land it was known as Hannah's Chicken.

Hannah's Chicken:(Corona Chicken from A.B. No Reservations Tex-Mex Episode. I'm sure my Texas readers will tell me if this is wrong.)

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts (pounded thin)

1 white onion, finely chopped

1 jalapeno, finely chopped

1 bunch of cilantro, finely chopped

approximately 1 cup of grated cheddar cheese

1 pound of bacon

teriyaki sauce for basting

toothpicks, soaked in water... so they won't catch fire 'cause I have never done that before. Nope, not me.

Mix together onions, cilantro, and jalapeno. On a flat work surface, lay down the flattened chicken and add about a spoonful of the onion mixture and cheddar cheese. Make sure not to overstuff, if you do the cheese and onions will drip all over the grill and will not stay in the chicken breast. Roll the chicken breast up tightly and secure with toothpicks. After the chicken breasts are stuffed and rolled you want to wrap a couple strips of bacon tightly around the chicken breasts (hehe, I said breast). I kinda poke the toothpicks through the bacon. Yeah, yeah, yeah...it's not the best description and not the best technique but you get the gist. Put the chicken on the grill and baste them with the teriyaki sauce. Also make sure to turn them a few times so they cook evenly.

Since the grill was up and running. I coated some fava beans in olive oil and threw them on the grill. Let the husk-shell-outer layer? of the fava bean blacken. What that does is steam the beans inside. Pop them out of their shell and add a little salt and you have the worlds easiest fava bean recipe.

Now I have got to go deal with that comatose census taker sitting in my dungeon since the King is still not home to take care of his manly duties. He's been gone an awfully long time. I wonder where he went off to.

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."

sorry i couldn't resist

oh to be a kid again!

I saw this which made me think of this Strong Bad email.

homemade vanilla extract

Ignore the freakish arm in the picture. Do you know how hard it is to get a good picture of vanilla extract. Let me tell you it's crazy hard unlike beet ice cream who doesn't have a bad side. Anyways I love the color of the sky in these pictures.

I decided I was sick to death of paying an ass load of money for vanilla extract. I did a little researching and found out you can make vanilla extract and more often than not it will be better than even the expensive extract you buy in stores.

You need:

A bottle with a cap or one that seals and that can also fit 8-10 vanilla beans. (If you don't have a pretty bottle but you have a bottle of vodka or rum that's more empty than full. Perfect!)

vanilla beans (8-10. You can buy them bulk for cheap on eBay. Cost Plus World Market sells them 2 beans for 2.99 and they are good beans with a lot of flavor. Also, if you have ones that are in your sugar bowl or have used ones sitting around somewhere, those also work.)

vodka or light rum

vanilla extract for the base

In a bottle, add vanilla beans and about 4 oz of vanilla extract to make a base. Now add vodka or rum. Let it sit for a good month or two and there you go, homemade vanilla extract. Add more beans and alcohol periodically to top off the vanilla. The longer this sits the better.

I really wanted to make a custom vanilla so I mixed some Nielsen-Massey's vanilla and also added a little bit of vanilla extract (about 2-3 tablespoons) from Mexico because it has a tropical taste and is normally too different tasting to add in normal things like cookies. I used Bacardi Superior and a couple ounces of Flor de Cana Grand Reserve Rum from Nicaragua. BEST. RUM. EVER. I received this as a gift from a co-worker who has family there. The color and the smell are exquisite and I knew it would make this vanilla extract over the top. It did. Out of everything I have ever made on this blog this one is the most practical, useful, and easiest thing I have ever made.

*UPDATE: White on Rice has given me a heads up. Bourbon also works well for making homemade vanilla extract and Costco has a good price on vanilla beans.

Also, this is what I did. There are plenty of other recipes that call for splitting the beans, scraping out the seeds, or heating the alcohol. I didn't do any of that and my vanilla tastes great. Play mad scientist and come up with your own formula.