Well, well, well...Stockton is getting an Olive Garden. *golf claps

In this morning's Record (Stockton's local paper):

"Stockton is such a gastronomic wasteland," said Ken Albala, a food historian at University of the Pacific - or a product of its Middle American attitude about food: "They're not terribly concerned with quality. They want, just, a lot of food," he said.

Did you hear that? That loud noise is half of Stockton's population getting ready to kick his, well you know. So I emailed him with this:

"I just wanted to thank you for your quotes in the Record. It's refreshing to hear that there is other people in Stockton who feel the same way about the restaurant choices here in Stockton. I'm a life long resident of Stockton and it's worrisome that more and more chain restaurants are becoming our only dining options. I'm glad the Record quoted you as an alternate view on dining in Stockton."

Here's part of his response...

"I really wish they had quoted me in full. I know that never happens, but I also said we have some of the finest fresh ingredients available in the world, and that's exactly all Italian food is. Not gloppy shrimp scampi and pasta drowned in tomato sauce. Why not just present the best ingredients we have? Rather than prefab food trucked in, and profits trucked out of town? I think the very least we can do is eat local. And there are a few decent restaurants."

The readers leaving comments on The Record's web site aren't very happy with what he had to say. Tough crap. It's true we have this bounty of fresh fruits and vegetables and a lot of our choices are prefab food.

Ken Albala also has a blog called Ken Albala's Food Rant and has written five books... Eating Right in the Renaissance, Food in Early Modern Europe, Cooking in Europe 1250-1650, The Banquet, and Beans: A History. He is also is writing a textbook for the CIA, yes Culinary Institute of America (cool beans), about world cuisines. I think he knows what he's talking about.

Holy Guacamole!

There are two schools of thought on guacamole in my household. The first is THE MAN's " Don't F with guacamole!" I'm sure you all know what the F means. Then there is the other "add stuff" school of thought. I like both.

Meet my Piggy. Everyone say "Hi Piggy!" It's actually a molcajete. A Mexican mortar and pestle. If you can get one, go now and get one, I'll wait. Don't get one from Williams and Sonoma or Chef's Catalogue. They are over-priced by a lot (50-40 dollars respectively). I got mine at my local mercado for 15 dollars and some amusing conversation about who was Mexican in my family. Actually it was The Man and it went like this:

The Man brings it up to the counter to pay for the piggy and the cashier asks " Is this for your wife?"

"Yes. It's for her birthday."

"She doesn't have one?" The cashier asks.

"No. But she's wanted one for a long time now."

"Why doesn't she have one? Isn't she from Mexico?" The cashier is totally puzzled by now.

"No, she's white. I'm Mexican."

We have a Spanish surname but my husband is blue-eyed with kinda brown, dish water blond, going white hair. I would think by now the cashier probably wants to bang her head against the cash register in total confusion, but she had a great laugh and is in love with my husband. Maybe it's because he's buying his gringa wife a molcajete.

If you don't have a molcajete, it's fine. But if you ever have a chance to get one, go get it, there will be a subtle difference in your guacamole.

In the " Don't F with the Guacamole" school of thought you have to have really good avocados. If you don't have them this recipe is doomed! Doomed, I tell you! My husband is a purist, please don't get him started. He might leave a comment if you don't agree with him.

"Don't F With The Guac!"

3 ripe avocados, cut in half, insides scooped out and into a bowl.
lime
salt

Mash avocado in bowl to your desired texture. I like mine smooth with some little chunks of avocado. Add some lime and salt to your taste.

Here's the deal, if you make it in a molcajete the guacamole picks up the flavors from the chiles and garlic you seasoned the molcajete with. So while my husband thinks it is only three things in his guacamole, it's actually a very complex seasoning method going on. Hence why I said a subtle difference in flavoring. Just don't tell him that.
The other school of thought is add tomatoes and cilantro. Maybe some onions or some chiles. I do this if I don't have the very best avocados on hand.

"Add More Stuff Guacamole"

3 good sized avocados, cut in half, insides scooped out
1 jalapeno, finely chopped
1/2 medium white onion, finely chopped
1 medium ripe tomato, finely chopped
1/4 cup of cilantro, finely chopped
lime
salt

Mash the avocados to desired texture. Then add jalapeno, onion, tomato and cilantro. Stir and add salt and lime to your taste.

I figure guacamole is like potato salad. Everyone has their own recipe. These are my recipes.

*Disclosure: I don't make guacamole anymore. Little sous chef Nancy makes the guacamole in our house now. I'm not sure which school of thought she falls into but I think it's her dads. Let's just hope she doesn't say "Don't F with the Guacamole" until she's an adult!

sunflower seeds+a baseball game=spring

Everyone has some special and personal thing that means spring is coming. To some it might mean seeing tulips blooming or a couple days of warm sunshine after a bad storm. Mine is baseball. When Rich says, "Hey hon, pitchers are reporting today." That tells me spring has sprung.

I live across the street from University of the Pacific. It's a beautiful campus that has a strong Ivy League feel to it. Did you ever see Raiders of the Lost Ark? Well, when Harrison Ford is teaching and that girl kept blinking her eyes at him and the eye lids said "love you" or "want you" I can't remember but the thing I'm trying to get at is that whole scene and all the exterior shots were filmed at UOP. But, I digress.

We walked to the baseball game last night. You could smell the cherry blossoms, bbq smoke, hot dogs and fresh cut grass. I also know it's spring when I walk through the campus and all the co-eds are out in bikinis trying to get a tan, but that's a whole other subject in and of itself. Spring is definitely in the air. Welcome back, Spring. I missed you and if you haven't noticed the co-eds have missed you too.

* if you really want to know: if you look closely at the above picture in the middle of the frame, a little to the right, you see a white blurry streak. Yup, that's a baseball.

leftovers...

Three little apples sitting on a ledge...

I guess I need to post this recipe....

Look at how happy this little egg is...

Snacks from my Japanese next door neighbor, Reiko. I have no clue what the little chefs and I ate but they were good.

I like this picture. I like this cafe.

leftover picture... I just like the angle.

The weather is beautiful and the spring cleaning bug has hit me. So, I'm going to take a few days off, well not really... I am going to be cleaning everything in sight but you know what I'm saying. Gotta go clean! See you Thursday.

5 Food Facts... the grouchy edition

Say that five times fast. Five food facts. Five foo facts. Five oh forget about it! Asthma Girl tagged me for a 5 food facts but I'm not passing it out to anybody else. *as everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

1. I hate peas. If you're looking for a pea recipe you need to go look some place else because you will not find one here.

2. I love corn on the cob but that's it. Let me clarify, if you put corn in salsa or anything else for that matter, I'll pick it out. I won't be rude about it or anything but there is something about corn and peas, I don't like how it explodes in your mouth. Yuck! My husband didn't realize these two above facts until this past year and we've been married for 13 years. See I keep my food pet peeves on the down low. Umm, yeah right. *rolling my eyes.

3. The only canned vegetables or fruit you'll find in my house are canned beans, tomatoes and olives.

4. I love cherries but I hate them cooked. So again if you are looking for a cherry pie recipe, you're not going to find it here. In ECM's cooking religion it's sacrilege to cook cherries. If you commit this sin, don't let me know because it will get ugly. I'll make you drop down and give me twenty.

5. I live in Stockton, California. The 5th biggest agricultural county in the U.S. If it's grown, you can get it here. My biggest pet peeves are that local people in the summer buy their fruit and veggies at the grocery store. Why? I mean it was probably grown and harvested here, then shipped to some grocery stores distribution center in 50-100 miles away, then shipped right back to Stockton. Then they charge you 1.00 per pound, when you can go to the farmers market and get it for .35 cents per pound. Does this make any sense to anyone? Also, you would think that you could get CSA (community sustainable agriculture) boxes here. We have a little cafe that specializes in fresh churrios but you can't get a CSA box? WTF!

Dinner... When You Need To Go Grocery Shopping

NSFW: Mushroom Porn!

If you are repulsed by mushrooms you might want to skip this post. But I find mushroom incredibly sexy. Come to momma, you sexy mushrooms you!

I need to go grocery shopping. Badly. Besides a half gallon of milk left, I had some mushrooms, shallots, Italian parsley, heavy cream and some fettuccine. I can make dinner out of that. The little sous chefs were disappointed 'cause they thought they were getting pizza, but this is Evil Chef Mom we are talking about. Anyways, pizza is for Sunday night when the Oscars are on. I'm not cooking on Oscar night, are you crazy? It's the Oscars... good looking, rich people who have nobody to tell them "No, don't wear that!"

ECM's I Need To Go Grocery Shopping Pasta:

1 bunch of Italian parsley (chopped)
1 or 2 shallots (finely chopped)
mushrooms (however many you like, I like a lot... like two packages worth because they are sooooo sexy.)
1 package of fettuccine
salt and pepper
olive oil to saute the mushrooms and shallots in (approx. 3 tablespoons)
2 tablespoons of butter
approx. 1/4 cup white wine
3/4 cup heavy cream
if you have some parmigiano cheese feel free to add it.

Bring a pot of water to boil and cook pasta to directions. Don't forget to salt the water. Make it taste like the ocean. While the pasta water is heating up. Get a saute pan nice and hot. Add the olive oil and butter to the pan. When the olive oil and butter gets nice and hot put in the shallots and mushrooms in. When the mushrooms are tender, add the white wine and Italian parsley in the pan. Hopefully by this time your pasta water has came to a boil and you've already started the fettuccine in the water and it's almost done. When the wine starts to reduce add the cream and if you have it, some parmigiano cheese. Take pan off the heat and add it to your drained fettuccine. You didn't forget about the pasta, did you? Because there is nothing worse that over cooked pasta.Toss pasta and mushrooms together. Salt and pepper to taste and you've got dinner.

Maybe if you had some steaks, grill those up and have this as a side dish. Maybe some already cooked shrimp added to this like a shrimp scampi fettuccine, that would also be good. Any vegetarian friends? Serve this to them and they will be forever grateful.

Last food porn shot of the post. *sigh*

bourdain and ripert

Good morning sunshine! A little Bourdain and Ripert to start your weekend off right.

Do You Know The Muffin Kids?

Last night my body shut down after only getting 3-4 hours sleep for the past 2 weeks. It (my body) screamed "WILL YOU PLEASE GET SOME REST!" I did and two of my littlest sous chefs made, from scratch, mini blueberry muffins without any help from me.

There are no major injuries to report. So I've taught them well.

Blueberry Muffins: (Martha Stewart)

6 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for tins
3 cups plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/4 cups sugar, plus more for sprinkling
1 large egg
2 large egg yolks
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 cup milk
1 3/4 cups blueberries

Directions: Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.butter large (3 3/4 inches) or small (2 3/4 inches) muffin tins, and set aside. In a large bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, and salt; set aside.

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream butter and sugar on medium speed until fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add egg, egg yolks, and vanilla; mix until well combined. Reduce speed to low; alternate adding reserved flour mixture and milk to mixer, beginning and ending with flour. Remove bowl from mixer; gently fold in berries by hand. Divide batter among muffin tins; sprinkle generously with sugar. Bake until light golden, about 45 minutes for large muffins, about 30 minutes for small muffins. Cool in pan 15 minutes. Remove from pan; transfer to wire rack, and let cool completely.

*sous chefs nancy and will said after they poured the batter into the muffin tins they added extra blueberries into each one before cooking.

The little sous chefs did a good job as you can tell from the above picture. The muffins are almost gone.

leftovers....&...overheard (Sharing The Linking Love)

...overheard at the Crab and Shrimp Feed " Rob's a shrimp shucking mother (shut your mouth)" gotta love Rob.

... undomestic diva has a post about God and having sex for 30 days straight. it's a must read.

... head over to she eats. if you like rachael ray you'll get turned on... if you don't well you might need some eye bleach.

... enter lexophile's best doctor story if you want to win the traveling starbucks thong... don't let it the thong die, folks!

... i'm loving white on rice's site. i get lost and have been discovering new things all the time, like they are writing a cookbook and have a huge garden and will mail spices to you if you don't have or can't get something. that's love. i'm probably throwing off their visting stats but i can't help it.

... again... thanks for signing up for 3.14 pie day. i expect great and funny things.

Morning Sunshine!

Awww... isn't that sweet! A heart shaped piece of toast.

Bleech! Choke! Groan!

In the morning something cute like that makes me want to throw my breakfast plate up against the wall. I'm not a morning person. Can you tell? It takes me a good hour to slowly wake from my coma that's called sleep. My dad used to sing to us kids to get us to wake up. It was the only time I wanted to strangle him.

I was so out of it I didn't even notice my piece of bread was shaped like a heart until I was halfway through spreading peanut butter on it. Then I cursed and stomped around until I found my camera and took a picture of the damned thing to show all of you. But now that I'm awake and had some tea it is pretty cute.

Tag! You're it!

I have been tagged again. I say it like it happens all the time but this is only my second meme so cool beans! This meme is about five random facts with pictures.White on Rice tagged me because they think I'm interesting. That's funny because I think they are confusing interesting with a crazy stressed out mom.

Now that that is out of the way the top picture isn't a picture, well... once upon a time my great- grandmother would have called it a moving picture. Okay, I'm seriously veering off topic... let's get back on the road, shall we? Press play for some mood music.

One of my favorite places to go on vacation is Disneyland. Stop rolling your eyes, I know. But I swear they do something to the air, everyone is happy. There is no graffiti or gum on the sidewalks. My kids get along. The world is a fun place for a couple days. People talk to me all the time, Disney employees ask me (more than once) if we are locals and have told me crazy stories. One time I was dizzy and almost passed out and I didn't even have to say anything someone came over and said, "You don't look so well. Here let me help you." Everytime we go it seems like they really care about you. They probably have the best customer service... ever. With all that being said this is the time we normally go and this year we aren't because we are paying off all our credit cards and buying a new car. I'm missing Disneyland and my favorite attractions; The Tiki Room and The Jungle Cruise.

*white on rice and undomestic diva be forwarned, I'm going to be hitting you up for info on good eating spots when we go to Disneyland next time.

Sea Kelp. This is one of my favorite pictures. I found the kelp just like this when I took this picture but that isn't my random fact... it's that I told my kids when they were young that kelp was fish testicles. Evil, Evil Mom.
That's me in free-fall, sky-diving on my 30th birthday. Every single picture of me shows me smiling. I wasn't nervous at all. Hands down it was the best experience of my life.

*my husband is still pissed off because the guy I tandem jumped with kept a picture of us jumping and asked me to sign his autograph book for first time jumpers.

*sorry little sous chefs, giving birth to you was not fun neither was being pregnant. So even though you think that each and every one of you was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, you might want to rethink that.


That's me, third kid in from the left! I roller skated for a long time. Axels, camel spins, ect. Salchows (pronounced: sow cows) were my favorite jumps.

*I really want to join roller derby. Evil Chef Mom is the perfect skating name.


My last random fact. I know I have a book in me. Probably a bad unpublished book but still a book. I started this blog to train myself how to write and to give my crazy always running brain an outlet.

So consider yourself tagged:

kitchen table chat

asthma girl

she eats

she who

foodie cutie

Here's the rules:

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.

2. Share 5 facts about yourself

3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).

4. Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.

Cookie Coma

Before I give you this cookie recipe I need you to repeat something. Parchment Paper is my friend. Next time I bake cookies I'm going to make it easy on myself and use parchment paper. Okay, now that you've repeated that, now we need to make sure we've established some trust. I mean you do trust me, right? I tell you when something doesn't turn out, like lemon gelato. So when I tell you a secret ingredient you are going to trust me, right? If you forget this ingredient, it's okay, but if you add the secret ingredient it will add a depth of flavor you don't get with cookies. People won't be able to pinpoint why they are different and it will make your cookies unique.

ECM's Dark Chocolate and Oatmeal Cookies:

1 1/4 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup butter
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
2 eggs (room temp.)
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon of almond extract (This is the secret ingredient. If you don't have it, add 2 teaspoons of vanilla instead of 1 1/2.)
3 cups quick or old-fashioned oats
1 package of dark chocolate chips

Combine flour, baking soda and salt in a small bowl. Beat butter, both sugars, eggs and extracts in a large mixer bowl until creamy. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in oats and the dark chocolate chips. Place on a parchment paper lined cookie sheet. Remember parchment paper is my friend. Bake in a pre-heated 375 degree oven for about 8-9 minutes or until they are done to your liking.

If you are feeling especially evil get some Dolci Frutta (hard chocolate shell) prepare that according to the directions then dip the cookies into the chocolate. Let air dry. Mmm... chocolate dipped cookies. See, I how evil I am, I just made little ol' innocent Cookie Monster fall into a sugar coma!

*brye has just pointed an error that i need to mend. Parchment paper and/or silpats are my friends.

Pie Update

I figured if you left a comment about pie day then... you're in. Bossy, aren't I? I'm the oldest of five kids and I'm an Aries and I'm a Wood Tiger in Chinese astrology. Nothing balances me out AT. ALL. but it does explain who I am. Bossy, pushy, a general pain in the ass.

Back to what I was saying, if you left a comment I am assuming you are joining in. If you think anybody else would want to join in, feel free to let them know on your blog and sent them my way, even if they don't bake. They probably have a funny story about pie or a crazy recipe.


Before I post everyone's names, I am really excited about one person because if you love food you've probably stumbled upon this blog more than once. Smitten Kitchen!!! Yes, you read that right, Smitten Kitchen.


3.14 Pie Day:

a finger in every pie: (I think I might have to run and hide. You just know she's going to have a great recipe.)

anonymous (seriously, show yourself!)

asthma girl (asthma girl also has another blog, asthma girl cooks)

chew on that (sassy title)

dancing on eggshells (love the title. but ouch!)

dine and dish (at least they don't dine and dash, though that would make a pretty funny blog)

dinners for a year: (Amy is a personal chef who also has a blog about trying to record every dinner she prepares. If you're hungry and need ideas this is where you need to go. She also will try stuff out for you.)

foodie cutie (if I had the guts, I'd post my recipes like her's... "don't be a punk just guess" had me crackin' up)

heaven is chocolate, cheese and carbs: (yes, I also consider tarts to be naked pies. you are now in.)

mayberry magpie (she said she has great pie plates!)

sam & brye crockett (they have a little tiny baby who will now know all about pie!)

she eats (what won't she eat? is the question)

she who (she who? she's moving... should be the blog title)

smitten kitchen (smitten with her food pics!)

undomestic diva (we all know she doesn't cook but I bet she will have the funniest post)

white on rice (best food blog name ever!)

*remember all pies are accepted, savory and sweet.

Thanks everyone for participating! Let all your readers and friend know because seriously who doesn't like pie? and if they don't... do you really want them as a friend?

Untitled

There is nothing scarier than watching a nine year old learn how to cut an onion. Maybe if you're like me you can see the strange beauty in it also. Food is who I am. It's poetry I can pass on to my children. I can do some things like take a decent picture once in a while, string some words together to put it into my blog. But I don't have the patience or romance to make it as beautiful as it deserves to be. I am hopefully making it funny and entertaining enough to get you to come back.

But food.... this is something I can do. We instinctively learn there are three things that keep you alive. Oxygen, water, and food. Oxygen, you cannot see so we take it for granted. Water, the beauty of water is everywhere and in many different forms. Without those two, yes you will parish. But food... food is something that takes time and care and thoughtfulness. With food I am shopping for it, prepping it and cooking it to show you that I love and care about you. I will take my time and do something to keep you here with me. Nourishment for the mind and soul. It's the one thing I can show my kids the beauty in and pass on to them. It's my poetry.

What's For Dinner?

Kids:"Hey Mom! What's For Dinner?"

ECM: "Cottage Cheese Sandwiches with moldy avocados and rancid peanut butter."

It's Baaaaack!

Hey there dear readers! Yes, the traveling Starbucks thong is back or actually in Canada but it's ready to go on it's merry way once again to a deserving winner. Go to Lexophile's blog to learn about her contest. So far it's been to Undomestic Diva and Evil Chef Mom. If you have no clue what I'm talking about click on the label the thong.

Sign Ups!

Taking sign ups for 3.14 pie day. If you've already signed up, thanks. If you haven't better hop to it and leave a comment so I can get your blog linked up. I should have a list posted sometime this weekend.

*any kind of pie is acceptable: pot pie, pizza, dessert pie.

Ode To Miso Soup...

I remember reading somewhere that Thomas Keller had said that he wants to serve dishes that leave you wanting one last bite. I have only had that happen to me a few times. I mean, this is America we are talking about here, home of the super-sized plate, where you are never left wanting.

Matsuyama Restaurant leaves you wanting more, even with their miso soup. I remembered the first time I had it. It was summer and I didn't feel well, so bad in fact I didn't want to go out, let alone have sushi, but it was my sous chef #1's fifteenth birthday and well I'm sure you know how that goes. When they brought my soup you know that ah-ha moment when all of a sudden things become crystal clear. That soup did that to me. I was left wanting more and like all really good food you think about how to recreate it, when you are you going to eat it again, and the ever scary... will it be as good the next time I order it? The true definition of a food junkie.

I don't have miso soup often but I trust my pallet and I know this is good soup. My husband and I had it again last night and it was perfect. That's a relief because I hate to order a dish I've been fantasizing about having again and it isn't nearly as good the second time around.

Besides at Matsuyama's you can overhear people talking about.... (scroll down to the next post)

Overheard....

"I need a crazy monkey!"

Happy Valentines Day!

To be honest, I'm not a big Valentines Day. I like when my husband brings me flowers after he's worked a long and stressful 12-hour night shift. To me that's romance, thinking about someone when you are dead tired and have dealt with horrible people all night long. Something nice when you least expect it.

That happened this afternoon, there were no cards or flowers just "I Love You Krysta" written in Hershey's Kisses. That makes me smile more than two dozen no-smell $300 roses.

*if you look at the bottom of the picture you can see both of our feet. My coffee table is drowning under too many books...

I'm Going To Throw Some Ingredients Into the Pan...

mmm... fresh rosemary....

Fennel, rosemary, garlic and lemon zest... Evil Chef Mom's holy trinity. What do you mean a trinity is only three? Holy Quadruple doesn't sound so great...so we are going to say trinity because it's my blog and I can do what I want. Nah nah nah nah nah! This is soooo much fun.

Pork chops and grape tomatoes and you've got dinner. This isn't a real recipe this is an adjust to your own taste/do your own thing recipe. I know that fennel, rosemary, garlic and lemon zest are all very strong flavors but they work wonderfully together. Here's what you do...

Over high heat pour some olive oil into a pan (I'm thinking a couple tablespoons). When the oil is almost smoking put a package of grape tomatoes into the pan. Let cook until tomatoes start to burst or make them burst by pressing a spatula on top of them. Just let those tomatoes know who the boss is in this relationship! Then add garlic,rosemary, fennel and lemon zest until the garlic gets "that smell" and a nice translucent color. Take off heat and set aside. Heat another pan and add olive oil.When the olive oil is nice and hot, add pork chops and some salt and pepper. Cook until the chops are almost to your liking. Then add the tomato mixture to the pork chops and add a little butter (2 pats) to the pan to finish. Serve.

This would go really well with the rosemary potatoes on white on rice's blog, but I was craving rice so that's what we had. *shrug* but man those potatoes looked so good.

We Have A ...Wait A Second, Let Me Finish...

We have a winner... she begged and pleaded and interupted her way through this contest.

Samantha said "she's funny." and " she begged" and "she took the time to compare herself to two Goops." soooo.... the winner is....

She Who with the winning response of...

I am also Intrupta. I was a very undiagnosed ADD child and a very diagnosed ADD adult. Always had to get a word in. I keep forgetting to wash my ONE apron 'cause every time I think to wash it I am wearing it cause I'm cooking. Please, please, please pick me. I beg really, really good. You should see me grovel sometime. I am shameless!

Congrats, She Who! Please e-mail me at evilchefmom at aol dot com with your name and address.

3.14

March fourteenth is pie day.

Get it. 3.14...

π= pie.

I can see you rolling your eyes at me. Stop it! I'm very well aware that I'm a geek.

Since your reading this blog you must like food or know how to cook it because I know you're not reading it for my wit or sparkling personality.

What do you guys think about having a pie recipe sharing day on of course, 3.14.08? Either on your own blog share your favorite pie and/or recipe or on my blog, email your recipe to me and I'll post it and try to link us all up.

* I expect my sister, Stacey, to at least give me her pie dough recipe. She makes a kick ass pie crust. Do you hear me, Stacey? Robin, you don't like most pies anyways so poo!

Strawberry Bread

First of all let me say this... my daughter's bedroom has great light! I found a place to take pictures.You don't know how stressed I have been about finding good light in my house to take pictures. Hell, I didn't know how stressed I had been about this until today.

A few days ago a reader named Foodie Cutie left a comment on my blog. I hadn't seen her around here before so being the nosy busy body I am, I checked out her profile and lo and behold she has a food blog and a recipe for Strawberry Bread.

Strawberry Bread: (courtesy of Holly Terry)

3 cups of flour

2 cups of sugar

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

1 tsp ground cinnamon

4 eggs, beaten

1 1/4 cups vegetable oil

20 oz strawberries, chopped (thawed, frozen ones are good GASP!)

Combine flour, sugar, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon in a large mixing bowl. Make a well in center of the mixture. Combine remaining ingredients: add to dry ingredients. Stir until well combined. Spoon mixture into 2 greased and floured 9x5x3 inch loaf pans. Bake at 350 degrees F for about 1 hour. Cool loaves in pans for about 10 minutes. Let cool completely on wire racks.

Okay, it was really good. The only two things I did different was I made the batter in my Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer and I dusted the top with powdered sugar and when I make it again I'm going to add more strawberries, a lot more strawberries!

Starbucks and The Wrong Name...

This will be an ongoing story....

I confess... I go into Starbucks and once in a while give a false name like Natasha or Zoey, for example. But more often than not I give my regular name... Krysta. It's a pretty easy name but not common or least not common around here.

Krys-TA... it's not hard right? But the baristas at Starbucks can't seem to get it right. I don't care if my name is spelled wrong, that's understandable. But my name isn't Chrissy, Christina or Krystal. Spell Krystal that way and I become a stripper.

The best mistake was.... Christ! Seriously, they put Christ on my grande cinnamilk. I mean I know I'm great and can walk on water but WOW I didn't know that everybody thought that way.

I told them Krysta today and I got Carissa.

Lessipe...

Definition: Lessipe: to leave out an important ingredient when you are sharing a favorite recipe so that no one else makes it taste as good as yours. A recipe that is missing one or more key ingredients.

The question of commiting lessipe was posted by JEP on Serious Eats this evening. Look under the label secret ingredients to find out my opinion on this culinary sin!

Disneyland & BBQ Pork Sandwiches

The Jungle Cruise is my favorite ride at Disneyland. It's corny and hokey and everytime we've gone on it we get great "Cruise Skipper" who goes really off script with the jokes. "Come on to the front kids...You know I love kids...a little BBQ sauce, mustard, and catsup always helps though..." What does Disneyland have to do with BBQ pork sandwiches? I'm pretty sure your yelling this at your computer screen right about now. Weeelll, dear readers I've never been down south to experience a pulled pork sandwich. I've been to Mexico and I've been to most of New England but never down south. My culinary experience is sorely lacking in this regard. Sure, I've seen and read about pulled pork sandwichs just never had one until I went to Disneyland. Yes, yes, I know it's not a real pulled pork sandwich if it comes from Disneyland. Well, actually not Disneyland but Downtown Disney at Ralph Brennen's Jazz Kitchen To Go.

Let's pretend to go on the Pirates of the Caribbean before I give you my un-authentic recipe for BBQ Pork Sanwiches. Smile for the camera and sing-a-long everybody...

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me. We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot, Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho. We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot, Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me. We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack, Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho. Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack, Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me. We kindle and char, inflame and ignite, Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho. We burn up the city, we're really a fright, Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves, Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho. We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs, Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

BBQ Pork Sandwiches:

1 pork tenderloin

bbq rub

bbq sauce (make your own, buy your favorite.. I won't tell.) I like Zeke's Top Dog Dry Rub and their Longhorn BBQ Sauce Texas Style.

sandwich rolls

tomatoes, sliced

red onions, sliced

iceburg lettuce, shredded

dill pickles, sandwich stackers are the easiest and it will not be the same if you don't add the pickles.

Coat pork tenderloin in dry rub and place onto a baking dish or pan or whatever you have. Place into a pre-heated 250 degree oven for how ever long it takes for the meat to just fall apart without getting dry. I usually cook it for about 3 hours. About an hour and half into the cooking time, I spread a nice coat of bbq sauce on the tenderloin. After the pork is done, shred or slice the pork. I like it shredded but for some reason I didn't do it this time. Laziness, I guess. Spread some bbq sauce on the roll and add meat, lettuce, tomatoes, onions and pickles (and maybe some of the pickle brine, if you like that sort of thing). That's it. Serve with some fries or some of my beer batter yam fries or potato salad or...

I could go on and on and on...

*random fact: robin williams was at one time a skipper on the jungle cruise.

Grain Of Salt...

I'm going to take a page out of asthmagirl's playbook and tell you why I think February is turning out to be such a crappy month.

1. I ran out of tea this morning. Crap!

2. My sister and niece moved out. Everybody says "That's great. Two less people you have to worry about." If it's so great, why do I miss them?

3. Have you seen the news in the past two days? What is going on? I just want to stay inside and hide with an cache of automatic weapons and canned food and no running water. Stinky but not so crappy.

4. My car was broken into last Friday. Crappy but no big deal until...

5. My other car was broken into last Saturday. Yup, you read that right. Two cars in two days. When I called the cops I was told, "Please file your report online." This is why I didn't report the first car being broke into because I knew that was going to happen but when the second car was broken into that shows a pattern of escalating behavior. "Please file your report on line" Kiss my ass. This is why I pay an enormous amount of taxes so you can do your job. I'm not a cop or a police dispatcher or a community service officer, it's not my job to fill out police reports! Reason #1542 why SPD sucks and why there is so much crime in my hometown. The cops don't give a shit! *I'm a little angry

6. Three of four little sous chefs are grounded. Their apathy still amazes and disgusts me after 4 days of stewing over their various crimes against each other. Sing with me...Crap, Crap, Crappy...

7. Did any of you notice I didn't blog that much about food this week. Sorry.

8. Blogger's spell check is still down. How can I write when spell check is down? I'm the world's greatasstastic speellerr and all.

9. I cooked some really good meals this past week....

meatloaf with twice-baked cheesy mashed potatoes and brussel sprouts with pancetta.... comfort food. What? My car(s) plural were broken into. You would eat high calorie food also, you know you would.

bbq pork tenderloin sandwiches, sauteed sea scallops on top of a bed of risotto, roast chicken and some other things but I don't have recipes for any of it! What kind of food blogger am I, anyways? A sorta good one because tonight I'm going to give you the recipe for the bbq pork sandwiches even if it kills me!

10. I have a pimple where Cindy Crawford has her famous mole. The only thing we have in common is our brown hair and eyes. Two more things I have to be angry about!

February is craptasic!

Lemon-pallooza! Update

My lemonpallooza lemon gelato has turned into a three day event. I should have known when I said a pallooza it was going to take awhile.

Infuse, overnight. Cook and chill over night. Make according to ice cream maker directions, chill for another 2 hours. I mean come on... I don't like ice cream that much but even I don't want to wait three days for gelato. It was aggravating and it wasn't even worth it! It was too sweet. You would think it would be a nice bright lemon-y flavor with a hint of sweetness. I'm going to try it again, later, when I get the taste of sweet lemon vanilla milk out of my mouth. Bleech!

Colette "My Hero"

All I want to know is..."Where was she when I was growing up?"

Another Contest!

I am giving away an apron! Customized for you. Go to GoopWorld and click on GoopScoop. There you will find all the Goops you could ever want plus their poems that go with their character. Find one that is You and then tell me about it in the comments section of this post. Be creative; tell a little story like why are you a Destroya or Messalina in the kitchen, a little poem, a picture on your own blog. I don't care, just make us laugh. Samantha and I will somehow figure out who is the best goop by Saturday the 9th at 12:00PM PST. The winner will receive an apron with the Goop they wrote about. Good Luck!