12/15/08

Bitch, You Better Cease and Desist



*ring-ring*

"Hello?"

"May I speak to Krysta Guerrero?"

"This is she."

"Hello. My name is Confection and I'm calling from the law firm of Whisk, Spatula, and Vanilla on the behalf of our client, Cher Fondant. You might know her as The Baking Goddess."

"Oh. Ummm...."

"Well, Ms. Guerrero, it has come to our attention that you have been using your blog to slander Ms. Fondant and that is unacceptable. She has a reputation to uphold. She has been very tolerant of your blog until now. You cease and desist this utter nonsense now or..."

"You know what... tell that bitch I want to meet her face to face to discuss the problems I have with her."

*scuffling*

"Give me the phone. Krysta, you know who this is, right?"

"Hi Cher! Going by Ms. Fondant now? Hmmm. Does your law firm know about your other identities? How was your time in the pen from that last little embarrassment you had your hand in? That little child was absolutely devastated. How could you? You know what? I don't even want to know. Just meet me tomorrow... you know where. We will settle this like bakers."

"Bitch it's on..."



*check out the fork from the Air France's Concorde Air Craft. My Uncle Babe took a supersonic flight once and all he brought me was a lousy fork! Cool.



Fuyu Persimmon Cake: (recipe courtesy of Katie's Great-Grandmother (on her fathers side) Doreen. Doreen is by far one of my most favorite people on this planet. When Katie's dad and I broke up, I mourned the loss of her more than I did my whole relationship with Katie's dad. She's so cool that she's does Buddhist chants at the dinner table and all my kids know her as Grandma Doreen. Told you she's awesome!)

3 cups persimmons, chopped fine
2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 cup butter
1 1/3 cup sugar
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla
2 cups flour
3/4 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp ground cloves
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1 cup walnuts, chopped finely

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a Bundt pan. Add chopped walnuts in an even layer to the bottom of Bundt pan. In a bowl, add baking soda and chopped persimmons and set aside. In a stand mixer, hand mixer, or another bowl, blend butter and sugar until creamy. Then add eggs, lemon juice, vanilla, flour, salt, baking powder, cloves, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Mix until well combined. Add persimmon mixture into the batter and mix together until blended. Pour mixture into the pan and bake for 55 to 60 until done. Cool in pan for 15 minutes then turn over and release cake from the pan.



Tasting Notes: This is a wonderfully moist cake and would make a great Christmas present. Spicy and sweet, almost like a carrot cake. You could add raisins if you wish to or bake it like a regular cake and add cream cheese frosting.

About persimmons:

Here and here.

Persimmon folklore:

Did you know that you can tell what this year's winter is going to be like by cutting a persimmon seed in half and looking at the seeds shape. If the seed is shaped like a knife it will be cutting cold. If the seed is shaped like a fork the winter will be easy and if it's shaped like a spoon the winter will be a heavy winter... lots of shoveling to be done.

18 comments:

The Yummy Mummy said...

I never liked Ms. Fondant. Bitch.

But how exactly do bakers settle things? No matter. I got my money on you, sister.

Caroline said...

My friend from Stockton just gave me a huge bag of persimmons! Thank goodness for this recipe! I had a few raw, which were so sweet and delicious...but I can't eat them all!

MrOrph said...

Never had persimmons. That cake looks fantastic though!

SaintTigerlily said...

Glad to see the battle is over, and the Evil Chef Mom is victorious.

Cheryl said...

Wow, great idea, I had no idea you could bake with those suckers!

melissa said...

You gave the bitch a beatdown, yeah!

Doreen sounds awesome. :D

Familia said...

i had a spoon-shaped persimmon last week. is that why it's practically snowing here? do you have snow today?

Mayberry Magpie said...

Anyone who says Buddhist chants at the table and bakes cakes like that one is kick-ass in my book!

Katie said...

Haha Ms. Fondant has an attitude!

That cake looks great - I've never had persimmons before.

noble pig said...

Move over, I'm sliding in with my fork! Wow Krysta it looks delicious.

thumbbook said...

This cake looks delicious! I wonder if saying buddhist chants while baking, make my cake as beautiful as this :)You can share this recipe over at foodista.So more people will know about doreens recipe.

Grace said...

i have to say, that's one stellar-looking cake. most cakes are pretty, but that one's stellar. and the fork is awesome. if i had one, i'd use it all the time. :)

KitchenKiki said...

Ms. Fondant & I haven't spoken since 7th grade home economics class. She doesn't seem like she's changed much, except now she is going to lawyers instead of teachers. Petty little....

The fork is cool, I may have to see if they have any on ebay!

Kristin said...

We have a persimmon tree (but of course--doesn't everyone?). But it produced exactly zero persimmons this year. Which is weird, because every other fruit tree went totally nuts with production. I don't like the persimmons anyway, so I wasn't too worked up about that. Though it would have been fun to try to predict the weather by cutting one open.

cook eat FRET said...

i TOTALLY WANT THAT FORK
very cool

cook eat FRET said...

http://www.michaelscollectibles.com/airline/airfrance.htm

fucking internet
too much...

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Cheftonite said...

Also Hiyachi Persimmons are good frozen when ripe. Scoop and eat like sherbet.

I'm new the persimmon and I'm trying all of your recipes.

www.persimmonguide.com