7/15/08

Voulez-Vous Coucher Avec Moi Ce Soir?

Hey Sister, Go Sister, Soul Sister, Go Sister
He met Marmalade down in Old New Orleans
Struttin' her stuff on the street
She said 'Hello, hey Joe, you wanna give it a go?

Lady Marmalade, Labelle

Seriously, I'm surprised no one has gone this route yet. Or is it too common? Anyways, Lady Marmalade is the perfect ho name. It has a food reference and everyone including my kids know what this song is about. Yes, I am a bad mother but when they ask questions it's easier to tell the truth than to lie. I'm a horrible liar.

If I go by the rules my name is Christina Shane. Which soooo reminds me of a 70's porn star.

This is what I picture me to be. A young Jacqueline Smith. Come on Christina Shane? I have to have long brown feathered hair. Kind of the girl next door. You know the girl who is washing the car and the hose gets her wet, then the next door neighbor is over and...

cue the cheesy bow chicka wah wah music.

See there you go.

Speaking of porn and names.

Erm, what happened to Ron Jeremy?
If porn does this to you, please don't cue the bow chicka wah wah music.

and if I'm Evil Chef Mom, don't you think I need a dominatrix name?

Any suggestions?

15 comments:

asthmagirl said...

Why do you need to be a dominatrix? Are you going to whip the potatoes? Whip them hard? Oh my, yes! With Butter? Baby! You're the best!
(sorry, I couldn't help myself)

Mental P Mama said...

You know, I think you are sick. In a totally good way;)

Snooty Primadona said...

You are seriously sick... must be why I love your blog, lol. I always told my kids the truth too. Then the hubby would be all upset. Most parents can't do that.

I like your names... they sound like Ho's to me, but what do I know? He he he he he...

me again said...

How about Lady Krysta, Mistress of the Ice Cream Machine?
My inspiration came from:
http://www.tikifish.com/namegame.html

Mayberry Magpie said...

Mr. Mom's favorite t-shirt says nothing more than bow chicka wah wah.

He also loves this blue grass song -- I don't know the name -- but the refrain is "keep the skillet good and greasy all the time." Um hum. Not a song about cooking. Maybe your porn name should be Greasy Skillet Krysta. Or Madame Greasy Skillet.

Mayberry Magpie

White On Rice Couple said...

Yeah, I do think it would be totally in EMC style to have a dominatrix name. It just further proves the method to your MADNESS, and humor too.
Sorry no suggestions here, but you did make me blush!

Grace said...

yeah, too bad about mr. jeremy...
yikes. :)

Kristin said...

I'm sorry, did you ask a question? I couldn't tear myself away from the before and after pictures of Ron Jeremy. I think you may have burned my retinas with the grossness.

Kristin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
melissa said...

No suggestions... at least ones that aren't completely over the line into nasty territory. I do have a very base/gutter-like sense of humor.

Oh but thanks for the song lyrics. That's going to be in my head for the whole day now. *Glare*

:P

Cheryl said...

You crack me the hell up! I have never seen a pic of Ron Jeremy as a young man, so I learned something today! he was kinda hot, in a hairy sort of way!

mindless_rambling said...

Also too much in shock with the before and after Ron Jeremy to think of a proper dominatrix name I'm afraid.
But you're one funny chick! :D

MrOrph said...

Yikes!!! Krysta, put the whip down and slowly back away from the Ron!!

Save yourself, your too young to...

Sarah said...

I'm not sure what's worse; the hairy chest on young Ron Jeremy or the really, really cheesy shirt and mullet combo on old Ron Jeremy. I may carry that image in my mind for a while; thanks a lot, Krysta!!!

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