Hey! I was standing in line getting a large coffee to bake a cake. It's the best cake in the whole wide world, I'd offer you a piece if you weren't such a rude bitch. I didn't know that they were going to offer me a free bag of coffee. I mean who in the world does that? Since I don't drink coffee, I thought I might earn some good karma points by asking if you wanted it... but damn lady don't just snatch it off the counter without saying thank you. I could have had a giveaway on my blog but I thought I'd be nice.
Enjoy the coffee,
Dear Target Cashier,
I know your job is hard. I know, really, I know. I put my time in at Target. Cashier, Front Lanes Supervisor, Customer Service. Some people are stupid, mean, demanding, and just not all around pleasant. I try my hardest to be polite but I really want to reach over and strangle you when you ask this question..."Do you want me to put your stuff in these?" These meaning my eco friendly Target bags. Umm, no. I just brought them for the health of the planet, they are strictly decorative.
Thank You for Shopping at Target,
Ex-Cashier Store #853
Dear Mother Nature,
I know that some whack-a-doo Bible toting freak hiding out in a shack is happy to see California burning. Whatever. But could you send us some rain, please? Actually wind, lots of wind.
See the air for the six days straight has been like pea soup. Heavy, thick, overcast, but you knew this already. Streetlights are on during the day, that's how overcast it's been. The air is orange, it made that picture of radishes look all weird. That can't be good, can it? I know you've got flooding going on and other things but if you could press the button that turns on the wind, I'm sure many people in the Valley would appreciate it.
Hoping for blue skies soon,
Dear Baking Goddess,
Please let Katie's mini birthday cakes turn out well. It is her sweet 16 and I gave that mean lady at Peets my free bag of coffee. Can I redeem my good karma points for baking points?
Covered in flour, your humble servant,
Where have you gone? My pictures look funky, food hasn't tasted good, words aren't coming to me easily. Have I done something to offend you?
I miss you,