6/27/08

Letters...

Dear Lady at Peets Coffee,

Hey! I was standing in line getting a large coffee to bake a cake. It's the best cake in the whole wide world, I'd offer you a piece if you weren't such a rude bitch. I didn't know that they were going to offer me a free bag of coffee. I mean who in the world does that? Since I don't drink coffee, I thought I might earn some good karma points by asking if you wanted it... but damn lady don't just snatch it off the counter without saying thank you. I could have had a giveaway on my blog but I thought I'd be nice.

Enjoy the coffee,

ECM

Dear Target Cashier,

I know your job is hard. I know, really, I know. I put my time in at Target. Cashier, Front Lanes Supervisor, Customer Service. Some people are stupid, mean, demanding, and just not all around pleasant. I try my hardest to be polite but I really want to reach over and strangle you when you ask this question..."Do you want me to put your stuff in these?" These meaning my eco friendly Target bags. Umm, no. I just brought them for the health of the planet, they are strictly decorative.

Thank You for Shopping at Target,

Ex-Cashier Store #853


Dear Mother Nature,

I know that some whack-a-doo Bible toting freak hiding out in a shack is happy to see California burning. Whatever. But could you send us some rain, please? Actually wind, lots of wind.

See the air for the six days straight has been like pea soup. Heavy, thick, overcast, but you knew this already. Streetlights are on during the day, that's how overcast it's been. The air is orange, it made that picture of radishes look all weird. That can't be good, can it? I know you've got flooding going on and other things but if you could press the button that turns on the wind, I'm sure many people in the Valley would appreciate it.

Hoping for blue skies soon,

K

Dear Baking Goddess,

Please let Katie's mini birthday cakes turn out well. It is her sweet 16 and I gave that mean lady at Peets my free bag of coffee. Can I redeem my good karma points for baking points?

Covered in flour, your humble servant,

Krysta

Dear Muse,

Where have you gone? My pictures look funky, food hasn't tasted good, words aren't coming to me easily. Have I done something to offend you?

I miss you,

K

12 comments:

noble pig said...

Please tell the Target lady No next time and just wait. See what she does. She'll probably ask why you brought them then because she is that much of a dweeb-moron.

melissa said...

Send your Muse my way if she answers. I made 4 new recipes this week, only one of which turned out truly great. But I had no camera regardless, having left it at a friends over the weekend.

I know what you mean about the air and the color. That's how it was down here in October and just living and breathing and working felt bizarre for over a week in that shadow.

I am certainly glad you're all OK, Krysta. But to be honest, I am distraught over the state of Big Sur. My heaven on earth. :( I'm worried. Selfishly so, maybe, but worried nonetheless.

Kristin said...

Dear K.,

Thank you for posting that picture of your disgusting sky. You have re-affirmed my great pleasure in living where I live. But I am very, very sorry that you're having to deal with that. Yuck.

Kristin

P.S. Your words seem pretty good to me. DOn't be so hard on your muse--she's probably suffering from the heat too.

Mental P Mama said...

I hope your skies clear up soon...those fires are terrible. Good luck on the search for your elusive muse. I bet she'll be back in no time!

me again said...

I am sympathetic, truly I am, and I can relate too, but I can't really put words down right now because I have been up all night with a dog who goes all out-of-body during thunderstorms and tries to destroy the house and all property within it and we had a mother of a storm earlier and hubby is on midnight shift and I had to deal with the damn dog all friggin' night long and I have had NO sleep since yesterday morning and I think I am trying to win a contest for the world's worst run-on sentence. Big breath. I hope you get lots of wind and that the coffee lady spills her hot mug of java all over her new white skirt.

maybelles parents said...

right on and very funny sista

eatandbehappy said...

You're hilarious! How on earth did i not stumble upon your blog earlier? Anyway i'm sure your cake will turn out amazing, even if you don't score those karma points :)

Grace said...

i'm continuously surprised by the rudeness and daftness of so many people. i'm sure you handled both instances well. :)
meanwhile, you and all those in your area are in my thoughts and prayers. i hope you get a response from mother nature (and your muse, while i'm at it) soon!

Mayberry Magpie said...

I can't speak for the rest, but looks like the Muse showed up.

Great post!

Mayberry Magpie

P.S. We will see photos of Katie's birthday, right?

Snooty Primadona said...

I'm one of those annoying people that whenever someone I don't know is rude to me in public, I say things like "Awwww, come on...give me a smile, I know you want to, come on..." which of course embarrasses them into it. That way, I feel like I won, for some reason, lol. Ok, I like to just piss them off further, truth be told.

We finally got some great rain here in West Texas and have had high winds all summer. I'll try & shoo them your way, but doubtful they'll cooperate. Hope you get some relief soon.

I've been through the same rigamarole about the shopping bags here. However, I keep leaving mine @ home or out in the car, so I keep buying more & going through the rigamarole again, lol. I think I have 10 bags now. Unused. To shop for 2 people. The one & only time I've remembered the bags, they tried to charge me for them again, lol. Sigh...

Rayrena said...

Hee hee, when you bought the resuable bags did they put them in a plastic shopping bag for you? I've had people look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them I don't need a bag for the tooth brushes I bought. Like putting them in my big ass purse or carrying them would be too much work. The cake looked good!

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