Happy Birthday Katie Kat!

*if you don't know Katie's story...click here and read that first.

Happy Birthday Monkey Butt! Yes, I just called my daughter a monkey butt. In Chinese astrology, she's born in the Year of the Monkey and it couldn't be more fitting. She's chatty, clever, witty, and steals food off your plate. Seriously... hide your food, because if that little tidbit sitting on your plate for more than an extra second longer than necessary, she'll snatch that delectable morsel right out from under your nose! Bad Monkey!

She's my Audrey Hepburn in Converse! Drama Queen Galore, that would be her drag queen name. Katie has a personality that you either love or hate and she'll talk to anybody, after she shakes your hand and introduces herself. What a politician. Not so good at math, but really good at chemistry. It rained on the day she was born. Likes the color orange. Is always smiling. Favorite food is sushi. Could tell you Obama's platform by heart, which drives her conservative dad CRAZY! also wanting to go to Berkeley is also driving him to an early grave. Damn Liberals! (score; Mom: 1... Dad (not Rich)...0) So what I guess what I am trying to say...

Katie, everyday blows me away! You are turning into a young, beautiful, and graceful woman more and more right in front of my eyes. You are much more poised that I ever was or will be. I know I lucked out when you came around because the odds were bad and here came this little happy, forgiving, and most importantly healthy baby. Even with that ugly witch toe, I would never trade you in!

Mom's 16 for Katie's 16...

1. Always forward, never retreat!

2. Never get into a car with a stranger, you go out fighting.

3. Never take pictures or video of you naked or having sex (unless you're a porn star). It will always get out into the real world, when you least expect it.

4. Never yell 'Help!' Always yell 'Fire!'

5. Trust your instincts, they are always correct.

6. The world is yours for the taking but it takes hard work.

7. Never date a man who you wouldn't be proud to call his son yours.

8. Always question everything.

9. It's always harder to do the right thing.

10. It's also harder to be kind, caring, patient, and generous.

11. Do the hard stuff. See rules 9&10. It also includes homework and chores.

12. Manners are the moisturizer of life.

13. If it smells like fish, then it's not good.

14. If somebody doesn't love you for who you are (ugly toe and all), then they are not worthy of your time or your heart.

15. There is nothing wrong for wanting to be a better person.

16. Never stop wanting to learn because the day that happens you are dead as a human being.

one to grow on...

17. No matter what.... I love you.*

*except... maybe I won't... if you turn out to be a serial killing, live in a shack uni-bomber, drug lord, dictator Jim Jones type. I might have to question my love for you.

Happy Sweet Sixteenth Kiddo!


Sarah said...

These are the best life rules I've ever read! My favorite is "manners are the moisturizer of life." Very true words! Happy b-day to Katie!

me again said...

You touched my heart, made me think and made me laugh, all in the same post. Awesome. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY to KATIE!

noble pig said...

So very sweet. I wish my mother could have given me such honest and TOTALLY true advice when I was sixteen. Katie the world is your oyster, take by the head! And your Mom's advice is all true, real and good advice. Reread again, like 125 times. Happy Birthday!

Laura said...

happy birthday katie!!!
when do you get your license so you can really drive your mama crazy?

ib said...

Ahhh thanks mum because I know you'll read this before I wake up in the morning and can say it. Hmmm idk about the chem thing i used to be until i slacked off.... =[

Anonymous said...

Your daughter is gorgeous! And she's so lucky to have a mum like you. Happy birthday Katie!

MrOrph said...

So very lucky you are Krysta! And Miss Katie is very lucky to have Krysta, yes?

Great post!

I used your chili powder this weekend; sorry for taking so long. I used it as a rub for spare ribs then smoked the pair for 7 hours. Delicious! Thank you so much. Don't change a thing in the mix.

Mental P Mama said...

Happy Birthday to a beautiful young lady! Listen to your mama, Katie. She is right!

Kristin said...

Aww, mother love. Happy birthday!

lcsa99 said...

Happy Birthday Katie!

The Yummy Mummy said...

A Secret Message for Katie...

I want to say something snarky here because I know how much you like the snark, but I can't. I must go sentimental, even though it nearly kills me to do it...even though I've never actually met you face to face, I can already tell you are a gutsy, funny, sharp girl with a crazy, witty, sardonic, truth-telling tongue that I know you got from you mom. It will serve you well. I'd be pretty damn happy if my girls grew up to be a little like you.

I think you got something special. Just go with that.

And have a blast, kid! Happy Birthday!

xo Kim

PS - And dear, if you tell anyone on my blog that I said any of this sappy, wimpy-ass crapola about you, I'll deny it. As far as everyone else is concerned you're just a wise acre upstart who writes nutty comments on my blog. Got it?

Cheryl said...

What a beauty, seriously! You are one lucky mama and I bet she is a lucky kid to have you. Happy Sweet 16!

KitchenKiki said...

You are truly a remarkable mom, and it shows that you have such a lovely & remarkable daughter. Since I have only recently made my way into this Evil Chef land, I didn't know the Katie story. I'm glad you both beat the odds!

May I borrow the 16 things when my step-daughter turns 16 in a couple weeks? I may have some paraphrasing to fit The Girl, but those were so eloquent and sage, I know I can't do better!

QueenofPlanetHotflash said...

Great List! Happy Sweet 16 Katie:) Enjoy your youth, adventure, wonder and learn.

Julia said...

isnt it score;Mom(2) Dad(0) bc katie likes Obama and wants to go to berkley? And you would still love her if she was a criminal! you would just deny her as a daughter but secretly send her a birthday card every year :]
ps. im not really a fan of katie's braces but i L.O.V.E. that picture at the top of your blog

Anonymous said...

I love your list. Happy birthday Katie!


Bellini Valli said...

Happy Birthday Katie!!!! I remember the high school years, the tears, the drama...My daughter is 21 now (or will be in September) and I wouldn't trade those years for anything.

melissa said...

Never stop wanting to learn because the day that happens you are dead as a human being.

My dad used to say that. *Teary*

Damn Krysta, why ya gotta just make me love you more and more?? Huh? HUH?

I also love this one:

Never date a man who you wouldn't be proud to call his son yours.

Happy Birthday, pretty Katie. These are all beautiful words for you from a wonderful woman who loves you more than anything. Enjoy. :)

ntsc said...

yummy mummy

I could go back to your blog and spread the word.

mindy said...

hope your beautiful and brilliant girl has a great 16th!

Mayberry Magpie said...

What a beautiful, beautiful girl. That smile could tame a polecat. I bet you can't wait 'til she unleashes it at Berkeley.

Your rules should be a book. No kidding.

Mayberry Magpie

Anonymous said...

it's stacey again....
awwww, tear...
seriously i'm all choaked up

Anonymous said...