Dear Mrs. Overprotective Mom,
Don't say you don't mean to be offensive when clearly you do. Don't sit there and tell me your daughter can come over one night then the next morning call and say "well, she's my baby and my only child and she's never been to someone's house before." She's 10, get over it! And by the way what my husband and I do for a living or where we live shouldn't make a g-damn difference if your daughter can come over. After telling me she can't come over, don't tell me she can after you find out all that info...
Dear Soccer Coach,
I don't need to call you to tell you my daughter is not coming to a conditioning clinic that isn't even mandatory. I pay an ass load of money for her to play and this is not a job! And by the way... 2 a week practices/ 2 hours a day for 9 months isn't working. We didn't even win a game. This is competitive soccer. Your book taught, never played soccer in your life, coaching technique is not working!
P.S. Ummm, I know you don't believe that running is a part of soccer or training but last time I checked..you run! The only game that you don't run in is golf, you ass-jack!
Dear New Already Ex Baseball Coach,
Why did you pick my son? He played on the other team for years. Now that he grew a foot taller, you want him? You just realized he's a lefty and can throw a ball forever. BITE ME. Your son is a big ol' bully and has been in the principles office more than once, on and off for years, about tormenting/beating up on my son. You thought this was a good idea?! Did you think I wouldn't say anything or place him on his old team?! Sorry... he's not playing for your team. He's playing with his brother and the team he's played on for years before you finally noticed him.
Giving you the one fingered salute, ECM
*I still don't feel better.