leftovers...

Please bear with the bad digital food photography until I...

A: read the directions to my brand new camera. (I'm such a guy in this regard. What?! Who me? I don't need instructions or directions!)

B: get better.

or

C: give up and go back to my trusty Minolta. Film, glorious film!

Wicked and Evil Asian Inspired Chicken Thingy or I'm So Articulate!

The picture above turned in to the picture below...

Wicked Good Dinner actually gave me the idea for last night's dinner. Now let's see if I can write what I did because I didn't take any notes or measurements. "I don neeeed no stinkin' meesurments or notes." I mean what kind of blogger would that make me. That's right.... not a very good one.

Wicked and Evil Asian Inspired Chicken Thingy

(I'm so poetic... Wait! Well spoken...ummm... that's not the word. Oh! I'm articulate. Yeah, that's it! I'm articulate!)

Cook rice according to however you cook rice. But if you have sticky rice use that because it will taste so much better. Of course I didn't have any so I had to adapt, improvise and overcome. Ooh-rah!

Marinate chicken in General Tso's sauce from Trader Joe's and some sesame oil. Broil or grill until done. Slice and serve over rice.

Green Beans: par-boil for a few minutes until almost cooked through. Drain and sautee with some sesame oil, salt, pepper, some juice from a blood orange and some sesame seeds. Again, I didn't have any sesame seeds... you know the rest.

Okay... now the piece de resistance... the carrots!

Wash and peel the carrots. Half, then quarter, then cut into bite size pieces. These carrots were soft but crunchy (I guess that's called an oxymoron). I'm not sure if that was due to the color or something else but I just sauteed the carrots in sesame oil, cilantro, green onion, freshly grated ginger, sesame seeds, salt and freshly ground coarse black pepper and finished it with some freshly squeezed blood orange juice.

My oldest sous chef, Katie, and I liked dinner.

Here is what my harshest critics said:

Nancy, sous chef#4, didn't like the carrots. "Too Sweet!"

Will, sous chef #3, I found out doesn't like the taste of sesame oil. " I don't like that funny taste!"

Hannah, niece sous chef, didn't like the carrots. "I can't remember why!"
My pickiest eater:

*Drew, sous chef #2, liked it! " I liked it!"

* He's a 12 year old boy, who's growing like a weed. Things he never liked before he's now eating. If that is because his taste buds are maturing or he's consuming everything in his path because he is turning into a teenage garbage disposal... is a matter up for discussion!

I *Heart* Cookies!

I love cookies! As a child I used to introduce myself as Krysta Cookie Monster. I seriously love cookies. I don't think I have met a cookie I did not like. When other people would rather have ice cream or cupcakes or doughnuts, if offered I would take a cookie instead. In high school, breakfast used to be a Coke and some Oreos. Chocolate Chip Cookies were the second thing I learned how to cook. My kids have learned how to bake so they can enable their mom's cookie addiction. Do they have a C. A.? (cookies anonymous) I think bakeries are the equivalent of some women's shoe stores. All the pretty cookies lined up in a pretty pink box. Heaven! I think you catch the drift of what I am saying. I *heart* cookies!

Cornmeal Sugar Cookies (Gourmet Magazine July 2007)

2/3 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 cup yellow cornmeal

2 tablespoons cornstarch

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 stick unsalted butter, softened

1/3 cup confectioners sugar

1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1 teaspoon grated lemon zest

granulated sugar for sprinkling

Preheat oven to 350 degrees with rack in the middle. Whisk together flour, cornmeal, cornstarch, and salt. Blend together butter, confectioners sugar, vanilla, and zest in a food processor until creamy, about 30 seconds. Scrape down side of bowl, then add all of flour mixture and pulse until dough just begins to come together. Roll out dough on a well-floured rolling pin to 1/3 inch thick. Cut out as many rounds as possible with a 2-inch round cookie cutter or a drinking glass and transfer to an ungreased large baking sheet. Reroll scraps and cut out more rounds. Sprinkle tops with granulated sugar. Bake until undersides are pale golden, 12-14 minutes. Transfer to a rack to cool.

*A couple of notes:

*This recipe only makes 18 cookies.*WTF* You have to double or triple the recipe to feed the cookie monster and her little monsters.

*I prefer Meyer lemons to regular lemons for the lemon zest. It gives the cookies a more subtle taste.

*My oldest sous chef Katie and I think you could do a citrus cookie, maybe key lime or orange. Also, we think you could make a savory cookie by swapping out the sugar, vanilla and lemon zest and add rosemary or fennel or maybe a cracked pepper with some orange zest. Tasty.

Me: singing in Cookie Monster's Voice

I heart cookies

Yes, I do

I heart cookies

How 'bout you?

Fun With Food or I'm Such a Goob!

How You Doin'?

Mmm... Chowder...

Mmm... Clam Chowder. I had an epiphany in the shower yesterday morning. You know Churchill wrote most of his speeches in the bathtub, well, I get a lot of my crazy ideas in the shower. I think it's due to the fact it's the only time I get 15 minutes to myself before the sous chefs come calling or questioning or pestering me is more like it. I was thinking about what I was going to make for dinner and BAM! it hit me, clam chowder. This is my own recipe, so you only have me to blame if it doesn't turn out.

Krysta's Clam Chowder (feeds my hungry crew of 8 + leftovers)

2 cans of baby clams (drained... save a little of the juice if you want more of a clammy taste)

1 small yellow onion, finely diced

1 shallot, finely chopped

6 red potatoes, peeled and diced into bite-sized chunks ( I'm sure there is a proper culinary term but the name escapes me! Also I like waxy potatoes in this dish because the silkiness of the half and half with the waxy potatoes has a nice mouth feel. * doesn't that just sound dirty!* I think the russet potatoes have a gritty texture in this dish. And who wants gritty in their soup?)

1 pound of ham, diced into bite-sized chunks

1 quart of warmed half and half

4 tablespoons of butter

4 tablespoons of olive oil

( I didn't have any bacon fat but if have some on hand by all means use that... everything tastes better with bacon!)

1/3 cup of flour

salt and course ground pepper to taste

red pepper flakes to taste

a dash of paprika

In a heavy sauce pot, melt butter and oil. Add onions and shallots and cook until soft and translucent. Add flour to make a roux. Cook flour until it's a light beige color. Slowly mix in warmed half and half until roux is completely dissolved. Add potatoes, ham, and seasoning. Simmer on low until potatoes are cooked through. Make sure to keep stirring so the half and half doesn't scald. Also, if the soup is too thick for you add a little milk until it's the consistency you like.

Serve with salad or oyster crackers or some buttered toasted sourdough bread. Serve it with whatever makes you happy.

Carrots & Oranges

What should I do with these?

Question of the Week

My question of the week is this: Where are you from? Is that your hometown and if not, how did you get to where you are at? No, not an airplane or a train. I mean a job change, family, ect.

*My 3rd sous chef, Will, has really wanted me to ask this question since I started my blog. He wants to know if anyone is from Hawaii or anywhere that is not the United States. He's a strange kid. No, not strange, just curious. We are going to start marking on a map where all our readers come from.

There's A Glitch in the Matrix

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I'm recovering.

"Recovering from what? It was only Christmas. Get off your lazy, pansy ass and do something." My few readers scream at their computer screens to me.

Yeah, well, I had three parties at my house in four days. My house is trashed. Like a bunch of frat brothers decided to use my house for rush week. I was going to post pictures of what my kitchen and living room looked like but I really thought someone call the building inspectors and CPS on me, it was that bad.

On Saturday the 22nd, we had a party/potluck/gift exchange for my husband's side of the family. They are notorious for being... well, let's just say that when they come over something breaks or dies. Iron gate...broke. Two Catfish....dead. Dining Room Chair... rest in pieces. Dinner was good, though, I made chicken enchiladas, rice, guacamole, appetizers, and pie. Mom-in-law made chilaquilies and my sister-in-law made beans.

For as long as I can remember Christmas Eve has always been at my Grandmother's house. This year there was a glitch in the matrix. Actually a virus at the retirement home but it sounds more interesting to say a glitch in the matrix. My Grandmother called me the day before to say that even though the retirement home wasn't quarantined they ( meaning doctors, nurses and management staff ) didn't really want people coming in and out of there.

"Then let's have it here, Grandma." I told her.

"I don't want to impose." Grandma said.

"Grandma. I'm having dinner here on Christmas. The house is clean. What's one more party?" I asked.

After going through the "I don't want impose" and so on and so forth a couple more times, my Grandmother's Christmas Eve get-together was at my house. All the kids (my brothers and sisters and their assorted brats, mine included) stayed around until midnight watching movies and wrapping gifts. Bad idea, because Christmas started at 5:00 am. Brunch at my Mom's was at 11:00 and dinner at my house was at 5:00pm. Craziness ensued! Scrabble, Spades and Dominoes were played. Name-calling and harsh teasing were bandied about. All and all a very fun Christmas!

There's A Glitch in the Matrix...Part Two

This is a Hirschfeld drawing of the Odd Couple. {Can you spot any Ninas in there?} This used to be my sister, Stacey, and I. I was Felix, uptight, neat, play by the rules, bookworm. I am still... but I think I'm mellowing a little bit.

"Hey pick up your mess, kids, I am trying to type and I cannot think with that mess all around me." Then again, maybe not.

My sister, Stacey, was Oscar to my Felix. Artistic, not a care in the world, just a little bit messy when we shared a room together, also a night owl from the day she was born. We were polar opposites until she settled down and had a baby. We have a little more in common these days. One of the many things I could never understand was that she said she couldn't cook. I always thought she could because she was smart and creative. Also stubborn but flexible. Four qualities I think you need to be a good cook and guess what? I WAS RIGHT! nah nah nah nah nah!

My sister made a kick ass apple pie and a cherry pie with a perfect homemade crust. With little stars on it because that's the way she is. I couldn't be more proud of her because I can't make a pie to save my life.

Wait... that's not right! I'm the older sister and Evil Chef Mom. I have to get into the kitchen right now and learn how to make a pie crust just to show her who's the numero uno chef around here. She's invading on my turf and crossed the line of demarcation! It's war, Space Case, it's war!

Merry Christmas! Again...

After helping my kids baking peanut butter chocolate chip blossoms and making some Choco-nilla Rice Krispy Treats this morning. I was setting aside some extra Rice Krispies and cookies on a plate for Santa tonight when Nancy asks,"Hey Mom, who's that for?"

"Umm, I don't know... that big fat guy with a beard and a red suit, who's going to break into our house tonight."

"Where's the beer and milk?" she asked.

"Beer?" I said.

"Yeah, you said beer and a red suit."

Apparently the picture above will explain the You Tube video in the previous post. I'm contributing to the delinquency of Santa. I am so going to hell.

Merry Christmas, Officeimer!

Because I'm sick and twisted, with a warped sense of humor, and probably already going to hell. This is one of the funniest thing I've seen in awhile! This is my gift to you, Merry Christmas!

Christmas Cakes!

27 of these!!! With 27 sugar fueled 9 and 10 year old kids. Oh and by the way I finally figured out my brand new camera! My first picture with a digital camera. Yipee!

What's For Dinner?

Kids:" Hey Mom, what's for dinner?"

Evil Chef Mom:" Stinky Shoe Stew."

*say that five times fast

Busy...

If anyone is reading this out there in the blog world.... Remember a couple posts back when I said I was crazy busy? Well now, I'm insanely, crazy, going out of my gourd crazy! I baked 27 Christmas tree cakes with 27 nine year-old kids plus I helped make 31 calendars with those same nine year-old kids. All in one day. Tomorrow, I'm helping frost and decorate those 27 Christmas tree cakes. I'm pretty sure I checked my sanity at the classroom door. Pictures and a post coming soon!*after I recover*

Question of the Week

So, what do you really want for Christmas?

C is for Cookie

This is really all you need to know about me!

Worst. Tasting. Thing. EVER!!!

Do you see this picture? I mean take a real good look.Is the image burned in your brain? Now remember to keep away from this soda! It is by far the worst thing I have ever tasted!

Here's the story... I use to work the overnight shift at Cost Plus World Market unloading trucks and stocking shelves. I priced and stocked the gourmet section. During the holidays CPWM would get holiday packs of Jones Soda. We couldn't keep them in stock, people would call our store to put the soda on hold. If we didn't have them, people were really angry. Seriously, who puts soda on hold or let alone gets angry when CPWM is out of stock of soda? People are ugly during the holidays. Hmmm, and no one understands why I don't like Christmas. As usual, I digress.

Some genius during the day-shift decided to try the soda and left them in the fridge for everyone to enjoy. Wasn't that nice? By the time I got to work, 12 hours later, the soda was nice and flat. Flat soda, mmmm, yummy! My best friend and boss Denise said, " You said you'll try anything once. Well, here you go." and she handed me two small paper cups full of flat smoked salmon pate soda and green bean casserole soda.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S DIS-GUST-ING!!!!Who was the sick fuck who decided this would be good." I yelled after I spit the soda in the sink and rinsed out my mouth with water. A lot of water. (sorry about the language but it really truly was my first reaction to that soda!) I should have known when I smelled it, that the soda was going to be nasty!

Everyone got a good laugh out of it and I was queasy the rest of the night.

The lesson is this: IF anyone offers you any type of Holiday Jones Soda, back away very slowly, because they are not offering it to you with good intentions, only with malice! May they get coal in their stocking because they are definitely being naughty.

Now I have to go and lay down, I feel sick to my stomach.

Christmas Cookies

This cookie recipe is from my daughter Katie's best friend Anna. Katie and Anna are like porkchops and applesauce. Good seperate, but even better together. These make great Christmas cookies.

Anna's Toffee Cookies:

1 cup butter

3/4 cup sugar

3/4 cup brown sugar

1 tsp. vanilla

2 eggs

2 1/4 cups flour

1 tsp salt

1 tsp baking soda

16 oz bag of toffee bits

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mix flour, salt and baking soda in a seperate bowl. Cream softened butter, sugar, brown sugar and vanilla in a large bowl. Mix in 1 egg at a time to butter-sugar mixture. Slowly mix in flour mixture until well-blended. Add toffee bits to mixture and mix well. Spoon drops of mixture onto cookie sheet about 1 inch apart from each other. Bake for 9-11 minutes.

* If you like to tamper with such a perfect recipe, but I don't recommend it, Anna's cookies are good with some chocolate chips and a dash of almond extract.

What's For Dinner?

Kids: " Hey Mom, what's for dinner?"

Evil Chef Mom: " Toe fungus and dandruff."

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

The Calvin and Hobbes comic strip really has nothing to do with this post. It just makes me laugh.

" It's cold." I said.

" Well duh, it's winter!" You said back to the computer screen.

No kidding, but still. I know I shouldn't complain because I'm not one of those poor wild mustangs with icicles hanging from their manes like in Pioneer Woman's blog.

What you don't know is that I live in a house that was built in 1920 with the original gas heater. You know in "It's A Wonderful Life" when Jimmy Stewart complains about " This drafty old house" well that's my house. Old and drafty. For example right now it's 39 degrees outside and in my bedroom it's 50 degrees. I can see my breath.

"Well, get a space heater for your bedroom." See, I know what your saying to your computer screen.

" I would but I have a arched roof in my bedroom and the heat just rises to the top right along with my energy bill. And did I mention I have a drafty old house?"

Anyways, I've been outside all weekend at a soccer tournament. And when not at the tourney I've been grocery shopping, Christmas shopping, doing laundry, building a water wheel, wrapping 30 some odd students Christmas gifts for my daughters class, baking cookies for my husband and his co-workers, trying to type my blog, and also trying to figure out my brand new digital camera, which is about to make me cry. Riddle me this: WHY, OH WHY, don't they include a memory card with the camera that you have purchased? and WHY, OH WHY, did the experienced camera guy (i.e. not a Best Buy rep) sell me the wrong memory card when I very clearly told him the make and model of my camera and I don't know squat about digital cameras! Oy Vey! I'm tired and I frustrated and now my kids want dinner.

Sweet Potato and Sausage Soup:(courtesy of Bon Appetit)

3 tablespoons of extra-virgin olive oil, divided

2 10-to-11 ounce fully cooked smoked Portuguese linguica cut crosswise into 1/4 inch thick slices

2 medium onions, chopped

2 large garlic cloves, minced

2 pounds red-skinned sweet potatoes, peeled, quartered lengthwise, cut crosswise into 1/4 inch thick slices

1 pound white-skinned potatoes, peeled, halved lengthwise, cut crosswise into 1/4 inch-thick slices ( wouldn't it have been easier to say cubed, Bon Appetit?)

6 cups chicken stock

1 9-ounce bag fresh spinach

Heat 2 tablespoons oil in a heavy large pot over medium high heat. Add sausage; cook until brown, stirring often, about 8 minutes. Transfer sausage to paper towels to drain. Add onions and garlic to pot and cook until translucent, stirring often, about 5 minutes. Add all potatoes and cook until beginning to soften, stirring often, about 12 minutes. Add broth; bring to boil, scraping up browned bits. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until potatoes are soft, stirring occasionally, about 20 minutes. Using potato masher, mash some of the potatoes in pot. Add browned sausage to soup. Stir in spinach and simmer just until wilted, about 5 minutes. Stir in remaining 1 tablespoon of oil. Season with salt and pepper. Divide among warmed bowls and serve.

* I also add a can or two of drained canelli beans.

You wouldn't think that this soup would be hearty, or at least I didn't, but it is strangely satisfying and warming.

Question of the Week

What I want to know is....

" What's your favorite food or drink of the holidays?"

I'm a goner for Veuve Clicquot champagne and any baked goods. At the end of Christmas it's a miracle that I don't weigh 380 pounds.

Overheard...

So, I bet your asking " Why is there a book cover on your blog post?" Well, this is probably my favorite book by my favorite author but more importantly it has to do with this post. Bear with me here, I'm trying to give this post context.

This book, among other things, is about life in a dying textiles town and Miles, the owner of a diner, who's business is doing well but will never be great until he gets out from under an old women's thumb. Long story short, a lot of the story takes place in the diner and the things I overheard reminded me of this book.

Yesterday, Rich and I went out to lunch at Chuck's. I have talked about this place before, it's a very popular diner with lines out the door even on a Tuesday morning. Yesterday afternoon it was very slow and quiet so we were able to get a table and ear hustle (eavesdrop) on some conversations. Is it ear hustling when they are speaking loud enough for the whole diner to hear?

Two people were talking about their visit to France...

" They don't speak American."

" They don't know how to cook an egg. You know like eggs and bacon or eggs and ham. All they do is boil that shit."

" So I ordered a lot pizza and hamburgers. They didn't do that well, either."

Swear to God thoose are actual quotes. My mouth fell open and I was in shock. WTF? They went to France and ate pizza and hamburgers?! And the French don't know how to cook an egg? Where did they eat? Why did they even go? Again, WTF?!

"Special Hand Made Taste"

I have the best next door neighbor ever! Reiko is from Japan and get this: she use to own a sushi restaurant and she HATES fish! Those kinds of things about people amuse me to no end. She brought me and my family a little Christmas gift. A box of sponge cakes from Japan. How freaking cool is that? They were called Saison de Boan from the Tenkei Company. There were three flavors of cakes, six of each, pecan- walnut, orange, and chocolate. Reiko was afraid the cakes would be dry or we wouldn't like them." Oh no, not our family!" I told her. "First of all, it was from Japan and second of all, it was food and third, she thought enough of us to bring us a gift." I told her thank you so much and probably committed a huge faux pas by giving her a hug.

The cakes were really good and not dry at all. I'm not sure if I can describe the taste other than they were not overly sweet as a lot of American cakes are. The chocolate cake had a strong taste of chocolate liqueur and was very moist. The orange cake was a very bright orange- yellow with a very delicate taste of orange and a beautiful scent and the nut cake was, well, nutty. It was a light brown in color with chopped up nuts. Imagine banana bread with walnuts... now take out the banana taste.

The packaging is the best part. It was wrapped in pink and yellow paper and the box said this "Shinshu, a resort surrounded by bright green and fresh air. Gardens with many-colored flowers, birds singing sweet, insects flying around busily---everyone makes up beautiful seasons in mountains, forests and plateaus. Confectioneries made by "Tenkei" that have grown in the refreshing nature of Shinshu, are, of course, a 100 percent natural. Every morsel gives us the feeling of clear air and wind in Shinshu. We want you to taste this present from the beautiful seasons in Shinshu." Also on the box were two other quotes " Special Hand Made Taste" and " Tenkei Confectionery, always creates constant palatable products all through 365 days."

It sounds organic without the package screaming "100% Natural & Organic!" Could you imagine if American packaging was written like that? I think the world would be a better place.

If anybody knows of a traditional gift I can give to her to show my respect, please let me know.

Pimp Your Kitchen Aid! or You Can't Be A Pimp and a Prostitute Too...

A couple of things before I write about last night's dinner. Did anybody watch No Reservations Christmas Special last night? I think it was the first time I have actually seen Anthony Bourdain cook. And did you know a crapload of butter equals two pounds? Nope, neither did I. But do note how I can work him into any conversation!

Also on Serious Eats, they wrote about Meal Outlaw. It is a meal calendar, tracking and journal site. You can enter your future meals, look to the calendars of other users for ideas, and comment on any meal you see.

Annnnd... you can now pimp your Kitchen Aid Mixer with flames! Look at all the new little web sites I link you to, so you can waste even more of your precious time and some money.

For dinner the other night we had pork scallopini. I can't afford veal with all those little and BIG teenage mouths I have to feed! Until all my sous chefs are gone, we make do with pork and I dream of veal.

Pork Scallopini:

1 pork tenderloin ( approx. 2-3 pounds) thinly sliced

flour for dredging

salt and pepper to taste

4 tablespoons of butter

4 tablespoons of olive oil

1/4 cup white wine

1 pound of mushrooms

1 scallion finely chopped

3 tablespoons of capers

Pound the pork in between two pieces of plastic wrap until very thin. Dredge the pork in flour seasoned with salt and pepper. ( Nancy, sous chef #4 thinks this is the most fun part to do.) Heat oil and butter in a pan, add pork and brown on both sides. Remove pork and if needed add more oil and butter and saute mushrooms. Then add wine and capers and scrape loose all the good stuff of the bottom of the pan. Let wine reduce. When the wine is done reducing, pour over the pork and serve with some butter noodles.

Okay, now I'm going to figure out how I'm going to get my Kitchen Aid pimped for Christmas! If you listen to the White Stripes, you'll know the title of this post is a lyric from one of their songs.

Benny, Benny, Benny and The Jets....

If you have any time to waste, you know after you've worked all day, did the laundry, cooked dinner, took out the dog for a walk, paid attention to your spouse and stopped neglecting your children. If you have any time after all that, check out josh hosler.biz . His site has #1 songs on any date in history. All you do is click on the month, then day and viola! It pops up. You can look up your kids birthday, your birthday, the day you graduated from high school. I looked up someones birthday *I won't say who* but the song that was a #1 hit when they were born was " You're No Good" by Linda Ronstadt. Hmmm.... That might explain some things. My sister Robin looked up my birthday and it was " Benny and The Jets" by Elton John. Cool beans. Everyone let's sing-a-long...

" She's got electric boots a mohair suit

You know I read it in a magazine

Bennie and the Jets"

What's For Dinner?

Kids:" Hey Mom, what's for dinner?"

Evil Chef Mom:" Eye Booger Stew."

Overheard...

While the trailer for Sweeney Todd was playing on TV....

"Sounds like a post for Evil Chef Mom."

When trying to explain what the musical and movie Sweeney Todd is about.

leftovers...

Did you know December 8th was National Brownie Day? I didn't... Now I'm mad because I missed it and I posted a brownie recipe this week. I could have done a whole brownie post. But now I can do...

A post on the 13th about cocoa. Want to know why ? Because the 13th is National Cocoa Day.

Did you know ball bearing roller skates were patented today in 1884? They were actually invented in the early 1700's but this patent made skates lighter and roll easier. There is even a National Museum of Roller Skating in Lincoln, Nebraska. Anybody who knows me will know why I posted that little random fact.

A Tale of Two Pastas

" Hey Mom, what's for dinner?" Will asked.

" Comfort Food." I told him.

" But I thought you only had comfort food when you are depressed." Will said.

" Or you can have it when you have had a bad day or when your sick or cold or just because." I said.

" Okay" he said, " but what kind of comfort food are we having?"

"Since Dad's at work, Katie is at theatre, and Nancy is at the U.O.P. basketball game. I thought since it was only you, me, and Drew we'd have pasta and bread."

This pasta is my go to dish. It only has a few ingredients and takes about 20 minutes to make. The dish actually has a name ( spaghetti with garlic and oil) and it could be cooked a million different ways. But use the best ingredients you can afford because this dish is so simple you can't hide cheap ingredients or a mistake.

Evil Chef Mom's Pasta: (Can be doubled. More often than not, it is.)

1/2 cup of good olive oil (if you like food, please treat yourself to some good olive oil!)

1 shallot, finely chopped (normally I use 3-7 cloves of garlic but I wanted to try something a little more subtle last night.)

salt and fresh cracked pepper to taste

red chili pepper flakes to taste

a handful of Italian flat leaf parsley, finely chopped

a good squeeze a lemon juice

1 package of pasta (whatever kind you have on hand)

Put the olive oil in a pan over medium heat. The add shallots or garlic into the pan let cook until translucent. Don't burn them because your pasta will taste nasty! Take pan off of the heat and add everything else.

Hopefully while you're cooking, you have put a pot of water with lots of salt on the stove to boil. *Remember the water should taste like the ocean* Cook the pasta al dente. Drain, then transfer to a warmed serving bowl. Add sauce, if you can call it that. Toss, and if you want, add a little more olive oil and some freshly grated Parmesan cheese.

My kids like grating the cheese. We have a Zyliss rotary cheese grater, that my daughter Katie, weaseled, charmed (They mean the same thing, right?) a waiter into giving the grater to her.

Later that evening my sister Robin, my niece Hannah, and her friend Rob (yippee Rob's back!) came home from shopping in San Fransisco all day with my Dad. Needless to say they looked pooped, so I took pity on them and cooked them some more but this time I remember I had some leftover sauce from dinner the other night. I did the same thing as above but once the shallots were cooked, I added a cup of the roasted tomato parsley sauce and 1 cup of half and half. Then I added salt, pepper, chili flakes and lemon. I thought it turned out really well.

For the bread, I get a loaf of sourdough and split it in half. Then I spread butter on both sides and sprinkle a touch of salt on the bread. Then I place it under the broiler until it is golden.

After dinner Robin, Hannah, and Rob looked a lot better and as you all know that's the power of comfort food.

Christmas Gifts

" You know Mom would rather have a dinner at French Laundry than jewelry as a Christmas gift." said Katie, sous chef #1.

My best friend, Denise, has very defined ideas about gift giving and the above quote would absolutely drive her insane!

Denise's Gift Giving Rules:

1.) A pet is not a gift.

2.) Household items are NOT gifts. For example: vacuum cleaners, toasters, ect. Especially if your spouse gives it to you!

3.) Gifts are supposed to be fun. See rule 5.

4.) You should ask for things you wouldn't normally ask for. i.e. something you wouldn't buy yourself because of the cost.

5.) Theme gifts are always fun. For example, The Godfather Gift: Francis Ford Coppola's Wine, Pasta and Sauce, and a dvd of The Godfather. Preferably stuffed into a hobby horses head. Seriously.

6.) Listen to people. You'll find out what they really want.

Denise is the best gift giver I know and these rules have never failed her until she met me and my family. We drive Denise absolutely nuts. Every year she asks for a list and every year I tell the kids her rules and every year they write things like clothing and books on their list. She says my kids are strange. Kids shouldn't ask for clothes or books. What kinda fun is that? I irritate her further because all she hears me talk about is wanting cooking supplies for Christmas and that breaks rule #2 and #3 on her gift giving list. Cooking is not fun in her opinion, so why would anybody want a Le Creuset dutch oven. I tell her it's rule #3 and #4, I would never spend that kind of money on myself and for me, cooking is fun. So, HAH!

Needless to say she has broke her own rules, because she has given me Fiesta Ware and Le Creuset dutch oven. All my best presents have been kitchen gear, which Denise doesn't understand and subsequently gives her a headache. So, in no particular order, here are the best gifts I have ever received.

1. Global Chef's Knife

2. Global Paring Knife

3. Le Creuset Dutch Oven

4. Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer

5. My Magnalite Professional hard anodized cookware.

6. Fiesta Ware

7. Hopefully, one of these days... a meal at French Laundry.

Hear that family: "No jewlery... just a meal at French Laundry" If you can't get me that, I'd be happy with a used copy of " The French Laundry Cookbook".

Wicked Good!

When I started my blog I didn't start writing with a plan in mind. All I wanted to do was write about food and cooking with my kids and maybe some random stuff for fun. While I'm still trying to find my voice and find readers, one blog did what I wanted to do. Better than me! Ahhhhhhh! It's all good though. She writes like a dream, has great recipes, and here's where I want to kick myself... she suggests music to cook by and has facts about the food she posts about. I DO THAT TOO! *whining* I just didn't put in my blog. So without futher ado.... introducing Wicked Good Dinner . She's me, but a billion times better.

Hopefully, you have checked out Wicked Good Dinner , and if you have, you'll know she also blogs about family traditions. It got me thinking about our family traditions and thought maybe you'd want to hear about one of ours.

Who wants to cook on Christmas morning? Are you crazy? All I want to do is play with my kids toys and all my kids want to do is eat candy. Christmas and Easter are the only times I let my kids gorge themselves on candy. They get to eat candy at 6 o'clock in the morning but not just any candy. There's no way Evil Chef Mom would let them get off that easy. I get the kids strange candies and goodies from the ethnic stores around our area. We have a blast trying out new things. Also, I sneak in their favorite candies like Tolberone and Ferrer Rocher Chocolates because they don't get to have those very often.

After my kids have crashed from their sugar high and feeling weak from the empty calories, they want breakfast. So, like the good dealer... oops did I say dealer, I meant mom that I am, I give them another fix of sugar. I make them beignets, hot chocolate, and orange juice. Beignets are french doughnuts covered with powdered sugar. Since I have made it very clear I don't want to slave away on Christmas morning, I buy the Cafe Du Monde beignet mix at Cost Plus World Market. Instead of making the kids sit down at the table to eat, I serve the beignets in a paper lunch bag with their names written on it. Breakfast is now portable and they can take it with them and play with their toys or read their books. (don't ask, that will be another post!) For the hot chocolate, I serve Scharffen Berger Cocoa with whole milk or a combo of 2% milk and half and half. I would serve chicory and coffee but no one drinks coffee in our house and I don't even own a coffee maker! Oh, the horror! A Starbucks latte or mocha would be good but I don't think anybody would go out to get it for me, so it's a moot point.

I'm sure one of these Christmas mornings CPS will be at my door because I'm dealing sugar to my kids and also contributing to the Type 2 diabetes epidemic. The headline will be worth it all... "Sugar Mama Arrested on Christmas Day for Dealing Sugar to Her Own Children!"

Which Goop Are You?

I am totally coveting?(or is to covet, I don't know.) But I really want one of these shirts. So Which Goop Are You? Look at the shirts and accessories here or here. Samantha and her business partner are amazing. They came up with these cool shirts and accessories based on a 100 year old book. Click on the links because I really can't do it justice. If you have a kid, you will find a character based on your child, yourself or someone you know.

* Samantha and her 3 kids live next door. One day when she came over to pick them up and I saw her wearing this black shirt with a Goop character on it. Being the nosy neighbor that I am, I asked what was on her shirt and where she got it because I wanted one. She told me this was her and business partners company. Holy Cow! I didn't know that. Here's a woman raising kids by herself, working full time(she's a teacher) and running her company. Samantha is one tough, sleep deprived chick. And one day in the very near future she's going to get rich and famous and move away.

What's For Dinner?

Kids:" Hey Mom, what's for dinner?"

Evil Chef Mom: " Day old tuna milk."

Lions and Tigers and Recipes... Oh My!

Disclosure: I rarely use a recipe when I cook. Normally, I just use a recipe as a guideline the first time I cook something. *Yup that's me, a rebel * Except in baking, then I follow a recipe like it was a cop following a speeding drug dealer slash mass baby killer high on crack. Right on that recipes tail. What I mean to say is that: I follow that recipe right down to the letter of the law.

Last night I made a recipe from Giada De Laurentiis Everyday Italian. What... it looked good. I'm not a big Food Network fan anymore. With the exceptions of Alton Brown and The Next Iron Chef, I don't watch it all that much. I'm really, really sick of seeing cleavage! Even Paula Deen has gotten into it. Come on now, I mean really. Is it in the contract you sign " you must show at least 1 inch of cleavage or your show will be terminated". Is that why Mario and Emeril are gone? Did they not want to show cleavage? If I cooked with those kind of cleavage baring shirts I'd have so many burns on my chest, I'd need skin grafts. Also, FN got rid of The Iron Chef. Why? They were so much fun, really bad translations, odd ingredients, The Original Chairman, so campy and bad, it was great! As always, I digress. Let's get to the recipes.

Roast Beef W/ Spicy Parsley Tomato Sauce (courtesy of Giada De Laurentiis)

Beef Roast:

1 (2 to 2 1/2-pound) sirloin tip or chuck beef roast

3 tablespoons olive oil

4 Roma tomatoes, cut in 1/2 2 teaspoons

herbs de Provence Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

Spicy Parsley Tomato Sauce:

1 1/2 cups fresh flat-leaf parsley

2 garlic cloves

1/2 teaspoons red pepper flakes

3/4 teaspoon kosher salt

3/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

2 tablespoons red wine vinegar

1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil

To make the beef roast, preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
Season the beef with salt and pepper. Season the tomatoes with salt, pepper, and herbs de Provence.

Place a medium, heavy roasting pan or Dutch oven over high heat. Heat the olive oil. Sear the beef over high heat on all sides. Turn off heat. Place the seasoned tomatoes around the seared beef and place the pan in the oven. Roast until a meat thermometer reads 130 degrees F. for medium rare, 135 for medium, about 30 to 40 minutes. Take the roast out of the oven, tent loosely with foil, and let rest for 10 to 15 minutes. The internal temperature of the meat should rise 5 degrees F more and the juices will redistribute into the roast.

To make the sauce, place the parsley and garlic in a food processor and pulse until the parsley is finely chopped. Add the red pepper flakes, salt, red wine vinegar and the roasted tomatoes from the beef pan and process until pureed. Add the olive oil in a steady stream with the machine running.

To serve, slice the roast and place on a serving platter. Drizzle a little sauce over the meat. Serve the remaining sauce in a small bowl alongside.

I just used salt and pepper instead of herbs de Provence. With the roast, I served roasted fingerling potatoes.

Roasted Fingerling Potatoes: (courtesy of ME!)

Fingerling Potatoes

1 small shallot finely diced

olive oil

salt & pepper to taste

Scrub and rinse enough fingerling potatoes to feed you and your crew. Cut them in half and put into a roasting dish. Add shallots and enough olive oil to coat the potatoes. Add salt and pepper. Mix thoroughly. Roast in the oven with the beef. The potatoes should be done at the same time the roast is.

The potatoes were sooooo good. Delicate, sweet, with just a hint of shallots. They were gone in seconds. I'm not sure if the kids ate them because they were good or if because they were eating "fingers". Nancy thought they were so cute, she wanted to keep a potato as a pet.

A couple of days ago, sous chef #1, Katie, had to make brownies for a sleep over she was going to. I didn't watch her make them, so I'm not sure if she did anything or added anything extra to them. The brownies were dense, moist, and not overly sweet.

Brownies:(courtesy of Katie)

1 2/3 cups of sugar

3/4 cup of butter, melted

2 tablespoons water

2 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 cocoa

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

Stir together sugar, butter and water in a large bowl. Stir in eggs and vanilla extract. Combine flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt in a medium bowl; stir into sugar mixture. Spread into greased 13x9 baking pan.

Bake into a preheated 350 degree oven for 18 to 25 minutes or until a wooden toothpick inserted in the center comes out slightly sticky. Cool Completely in pan.(Don't eat right away because you'll burn the roof of your mouth! I do this every single time without fail and irritate my daughter to no end. Evil Chef Mom strikes again!) When cool, dust with powdered sugar.

All I know is that Katie uses butter instead of margarine in every baking dish. I think she found out or heard once in science class that margarine and spreads are one molecule away from being plastic, and that was all she wrote! I also know she used kosher salt because that's all we have. But we have a couple different cocoas in the cupboards everything from Hershey's to Scharffen Berger. I let her leave a comment about what she used. This is a great cold and rainy day meal and if you serve hot chocolate with the brownies you'll earn extra cool mom points! (just remember they expire 5 minutes after you get them and you can never redeem them.)

Bourdain, Homme & The Best Christmas Ever!

Warning: I am about to display my geeky, nerdy self for everyone to see!

Anthony Bourdain is doing a No Reservations Christmas Special with Queens Of The Stone Age! Bourdain in a suit! Queens Of The Stone Age rocking out in the basement in really bad QVC holiday sweaters! Yipee! Look at that picture, Josh Homme looks like he's going to strangle Bourdain. Please don't do that Josh, my very existence would end if Tony wasn't on the planet. Please, Josh, I'm begging you..... maybe it's all in my imagination. I guess I will have to watch Monday Dec. 10th at 10:00pm on the Travel Channel.

* Does that picture remind anybody of their own family?

Let's Leave This To The Professionals

Here on the West Coast of California, the storms are starting to roll in and that means surf advisories. The top picture was taken at Mavericks by Half Moon Bay, California and the bottom picture was taken at Ghost Trees in Monterey County. Yesterday, Peter Davi, one of the early riders of The Mavericks Surf Contest died while surfing at Ghost Trees.

They are calling yesterday, Big Tuesday, because the waves were said to be 60-70 feet high. So now the waiting period for The Mavericks Surf Contest has begun. When the wave contitions are right they call the contest.The invitees then have 24 hours to get to Half Moon Bay. This isn't Hawaii folks, this is frigid water, a dangerous current, jagged rocks, and oh by the way, did I mention sharks? If you have time and live near by, bring a telescope or some binoculars and watch, it is breath taking. If you don't live near-by but are interested in something different, check out The Mavericks website. It has on overview on the contest, the history of Mavericks, the science of the wave, seafloor imagery, current conditions, and all sorts of other neat stuff.

... and now for something completely different

I thought it would be fun to do something different. Since this my blog and I can do whatever I want.(nah-nah-na-na-nah) I want to do a Question Of The Week. Sometimes they will be about food and other times they will be about music, the holidays, favorite blogs, pet peeves, or whatever I feel like asking. You get the gist of it, right? Well, this question of the week has to do with a game all chefs play and my eldest sous chef, Katie, has an obsession with.(I really worry about her sometimes. Once you click on the link you'll know what I'm talking about.) There are websites dedicated to it and books written about it. So..... without further ado,

What would be your last meal on earth?

and because I can....

If you could invite any three people in the world, alive or dead, who would they be?

Think carefully, have fun, and make sure to leave a comment.

Happy Hanukkah!

My kids favorite third grade teacher makes latkes for her class on Hanukkah. Many of them have never even heard of or had latkes. Many of the students haven't even heard of Hanukkah for that matter. While the parent helpers are making the latkes, she explains what Hanukkah is about. The students get to sing songs and play with a dreydl. This year I bought her a book to read to her students called "The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming" by Lemony Snicket. It's about a latke who leaps out of a frying pan and tries to explain Hanukkah to a gingerbread man, a Christmas tree, and a candy cane. They call him a hash brown that they can serve with the Christmas Ham. *GASP!* After all this, he still gets eaten. It sounds a little morbid, it is after all a Lemony Snicket book, but it's sweet and gets the point across about Hanukkah.

For her students, Mrs. Third Grade also sends home the recipe for latkes.

Latkes (potato pancakes): Courtesy of Mrs. The Best Third Grade Teacher Ever!

6 medium potatoes

2 eggs

1 tsp. salt

2 tbs. flour

1/4 tsp. baking powder

1 small onion

1 small apple

Peel and grate potatoes, onion, and apple on a coarse grater. Drain off water. Beat eggs lightly; add grated potatoes, onion, and apple and blend well. Add salt, flour, baking powder and mix thoroughly. Pour 1 inch oil into skillet and heat. Drop mix by tablespoons into hot oil. Fry and brown on both sides. Serve hot. Drain off any liquid before frying each cake. Serve with sour cream or apple sauce. Makes 20.

What's For Dinner?

Kids:" Hey Mom, what's for dinner?

Evil Chef Mom:" Fly Hair Soup."