12/18/07

Worst. Tasting. Thing. EVER!!!

Do you see this picture? I mean take a real good look.Is the image burned in your brain? Now remember to keep away from this soda! It is by far the worst thing I have ever tasted!

Here's the story... I use to work the overnight shift at Cost Plus World Market unloading trucks and stocking shelves. I priced and stocked the gourmet section. During the holidays CPWM would get holiday packs of Jones Soda. We couldn't keep them in stock, people would call our store to put the soda on hold. If we didn't have them, people were really angry. Seriously, who puts soda on hold or let alone gets angry when CPWM is out of stock of soda? People are ugly during the holidays. Hmmm, and no one understands why I don't like Christmas. As usual, I digress.

Some genius during the day-shift decided to try the soda and left them in the fridge for everyone to enjoy. Wasn't that nice? By the time I got to work, 12 hours later, the soda was nice and flat. Flat soda, mmmm, yummy! My best friend and boss Denise said, " You said you'll try anything once. Well, here you go." and she handed me two small paper cups full of flat smoked salmon pate soda and green bean casserole soda.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S DIS-GUST-ING!!!!Who was the sick fuck who decided this would be good." I yelled after I spit the soda in the sink and rinsed out my mouth with water. A lot of water. (sorry about the language but it really truly was my first reaction to that soda!) I should have known when I smelled it, that the soda was going to be nasty!

Everyone got a good laugh out of it and I was queasy the rest of the night.

The lesson is this: IF anyone offers you any type of Holiday Jones Soda, back away very slowly, because they are not offering it to you with good intentions, only with malice! May they get coal in their stocking because they are definitely being naughty.

Now I have to go and lay down, I feel sick to my stomach.