about the december header

so... about this month's header.

it's an inside family joke.

when katie was little she drew a picture of these two snowmen talking to each other. one of the snowman's mouth was covered in yellow and the caption was " yo homey g! didn't your mom tell you not to eat yellow snow?"

i admit my sense of humor is a little twisted because i thought it was the funniest thing i had every seen. happy holidays and don't eat yellow snow!

sunday november 8 2009

all by myself



getting ready for maverick's



mavericks



or else

toasted nuts

To Toast Nuts:

Line a heavy-gauge rimmed cookie sheet with aluminum foil. Toast the nuts in a single layer in a moderate to low oven (300-325 degrees) The length of toasting time will vary depending on the size, oil content, and volume of the nut. Color and fragrance are the best way to determine whether it is toasted or not.

Pecans & Walnuts: 8-10 minutes
Cashews & Macadamias: 6-8 minutes
Pistachios: 6-8 minutes

One of the purposes of whimsy is that when readers send me in cool stuff like this link, I can post it.

What is the right way to eat sushi?

Now I'm sure most of you are pros at sushi, but I am not. I'm a klutz with chopsticks and I get a little intimated when going to eat sushi with Katie because she's always tsk-tsking me about how I'm screwing up. Nothing is more fun than when the student is teaching the master. {roll eyes} So I now have a cheat sheet. So...HA!

thank you jeff for the link!

a response

"I was attracted to the beautiful site you have. However, turned off by your filthy mouth. There is nothing more unattractive that hearing and seeing a woman use bad language. Your mother should have used Clorox. But, the women would not use words like that if the men had not taught them how. I used to have a filthy mouth until the Lord Jesus Christ saved me and cleaned up my life. This site could be more family oriented if you would consider not using those words. Just a thought."

AJ

Hey AJ! How are you? I just wanted to take a minute and respond to your lovely comment. First, thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. I must have really gotten under your skin if you took the time to read a couple posts and then pick the post with absolutely no bad words in it. I wanted to give you some mad props. You did two things that made me smile. One, you sorta signed your name there at the end... that's better than most commenters that leave something nasty. Most of time they are just cowards and go totally anonymous but you kinda stood by what you said and left your initials. Second, that was probably the most well written nasty comment I have ever been left. So give me a fist-bump! No? Awww... that's a shame.

Here's the deal. Do you know what happens when you wash someones mouth out with bleach? Bleach contains sodium hypochlorite. That's the shit in bleach that makes it toxic. It's the chemical that mixed with ammonia can kill you. Here's what happens when you swallow bleach... stomach or abdominal pain, vomiting, possible burns on esophagus and your mouth.

When you go to the ER this is what happens...

A tube thru the nose into the stomach to empty the stomach
Endoscopy -- camera down the throat to see burns in the esophagus and the stomach
Fluids by IV
Medicine (antidote) to reverse the effect of the poison
Without prompt treatment, extensive damage to the mouth, throat, eyes, lungs, esophagus, nose, and stomach are possible, depending on how exposure occurred.

If not treated you can die a very painful and nasty death! Are you suggesting that my mother should have done that? Because dude, that is some seriously fucked up shit you're suggesting. I'm sure if you read about this in the newspaper you would be tsk, tsk, tsking and thinking my mom is a horrible person to do that to a poor innocent child and that she needed to find "The Lord Jesus Christ". But I'm sure you meant it as hyperbole because a "Saved Good Christian" such as yourself would never dare suggest murder or child abuse, now would you?

As for the sexism, I'll let that go.

Here's the deal AJ, I don't want to be family orientated blog. I don't want to be successful on anyone's terms but my own. I want to be true to myself, I sleep better at night that way. Anybody who has kids or has ever raised kids realizes that sometimes parenthood can be a very dark and sometimes bleak comedy. Anybody who says different in my book is just lying to themselves. Real life is messy and bad words are occasionally used. If you don't like it, don't read. It's as simple as that.

Sincerely,

Krysta

laundry and chester the terrier

My laundry is like Chester the Terrier. It always is in my face begging for attention. Supposedly at the 1:07 mark you can hear Sylvester say WTF. I'm not so sure.

i always thought it would be the most awesomest and funniest thing ever to be in a beastie boys video.

whimsy

whimsy, whimsey [ˈwɪmzɪ]
n pl -sies, -seys
1. a capricious idea or notion
2. light or fanciful humour
3. something quaint or unusual

This is a new page to evil chef mom. Things posted here will be silly things that catch my eye, maybe recipes and photos that didn't make it to evil chef mom. Remember the movie, Cannonball Run and how they had the blooper reel at the end of the movie? Yeah, this is my blooper reel.

recipe index

Breakfast

Apple Turnovers
Baked Pecan French Toast
Breakfast Toastadas
Cinnamon Rolls
Eggs Over Easy with Wilted Spinach, Tomatoes
French Breakfast Puffs
French Toast Casserole
Homemade Granola
Pancakes w/Caramelized Mango with Rum
Potato Casserole
Strawberry Pancakes


Snacks and Dips

Add More Stuff To The Guacamole
Crunchy Garbanzo Beans
Don't 'Eff' With The Guac
Garlic-Parmesan Chicken Wings
Hot Artichoke and Spinach Dip
Mango- Avocado Salsa
Onion Dip 2 ways
Pineapple Salsa
Sopas
Tsatsiki

Salads

BLAT (bacon lettuce avocado tomato) salad
Caprese Salad w/ Heirloom Tomatoes and Balsamic Glazed Grilled Chicken
Couscous Salad
Elote Salad
Hawaiian Macaroni Salad
Mediterranean Salad with Chickpea Patties
Potato Salad w/ Bacon and Eggs
Spinach-Strawberry Salad
Warm Potato Salad

Soups

Chicken Tortilla Soup
Clam Chowder
My Kids Favorite Top Ramen
Portuguese Sweet Potato and Sausage Soup
Potato Soup
Roasted Potato and Fennel Soup
Rosemary White Bean Soup
Soupe De Poireaux Et Pommes De Terre or Potato Leek Soup

Sandwiches-Calzones-Pizzas

BBQ Beef Short Rib (slowcooker)
BBQ Pork
Calzone
Char Siu- glazed pork and pineapple buns-
Monte Cubano

Pastas-Rice-Beans

Cannellini Beans with Rosemary
Basic Risotto
ECM's Cheap Ass Mac n' Cheese
ECM's Holy Trinity Pasta
ECM's Simple Pasta
Fennel and Sausage Risotto w/ Sake
Fettuccine with Artichokes and Beans
Fettuccine with Summer Corn, Bacon, and Shiitake Mushrooms
Mac 'n' Cheese
Sausage & Mushroom Penne Gratin
Sausage & Peppers Pasta
Simon & Garfunkel Pasta (Sage, Rosemary and Thyme... get it?)
Ziti with Tuscan Style Cauliflower

Mains

Brasato al Barolo (braised short ribs)
Corona Chicken
Chicken That Tastes Like Mexico
Fish Tacos
Garlic and Thyme Roasted Chicken With Crispy Drippings Croutons
Gnocchi
Grilled Kielbasa w/ Warm Potato Salad
Mustard-Slathered Grilled Flank Steak w/Smoky Jalapeno-Honey Sauce
Polenta-Crusted Chicken with Balsamic Caper Pan Sauce
Pork Chop Milanese w/ Roasted Tomato Sauce
Pork Chops w/ Tomatoes, Fennel & Rosemary
Provencal Chicken, my way
Rice and Beans
Roast Beef w/ Spicy Parsley Tomato Sauce
Shredded Beef Tacos
Shrimp Tacos
Thai Style Beef with Noodles

Potatoes

Green Mashed Potatoes
Latkes
Mass Mashed Potato Suicide
Potato Casserole
Potato Gnocchi
Potato Salad w/ Bacon and Eggs
Potato Soup
Roasted Fingerling Potatoes
Roasted Potato and Fennel Soup
Sweet Potato Latkes
Truffade
Warm Potato Salad
Yam Fries

Vegetables

A16's Roasted Asparagus with Walnut Crema
Brussels Sprout Hash with Caramelized Shallots and Bacon
Pickled Farm Stand Tomatoes w/ Jalapenos
Taiwanese Cabbage Saute

Bread

Basic Soft White Sandwich Loaf
Cheesy Braid Loaf
English Muffin Bread
Pickles Pretzels

Ice Cream

Banana Dulce de Leche Paletas
Beet Ice Cream
Cherry Gelato
Dole Pineapple Whip
Malted Milk Ice Cream
Mexican Chocolate Sorbet
Passion Tea-Lemonade Sorbet
Roasted Banana Ice Cream w/ Walnut Praline
Rocky Road Ice Cream
Salted Peanut/ Caramel Ice Cream
strawberry-sour cream-brown sugar-ice cream
Vanilla Ice Cream

Cookies

Anna's Toffee Cookies
Bittersweet Chocolate Cookies
Cinnamon Roll Cookies
Chewy Chocolate Cookies w/ Chocolate Chunks
Chocolate Chip Pecan Coconut Bars
Chocolate Dipped Pink Salt Biscotti
Cornmeal Sugar Cookies
Dark Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies
Mom's Biscotti

Cakes- Muffins- Quick Breads

Banana Crunch Bread and/or Muffins
Best Ever Chocolate Cake
Chocolate Pound Cake w/ Coconut glaze
Cinnamon Cake
Cinnamon Crumb Surprise
Fuyu Persimmon Cake
Great Grandma Potter's Wine Cake

Key Lime Coconut Cake w/ Dulce De Leche
Lemon Blueberry Yogurt Loaf
Lemon Cake with Candied Lemon Slices
Lemon Glazed Cream Cheese Pound Cake
Olive Oil Rosemary Cake
Ricotta Cheesecake with Biscotti Crust and Candied Lemons
Strawberry Bread
Tres Leches Cake

Other Sweets

Apple Turnovers
Armageddon Outta Here Brownies
Banana Whoopie Pies
Blackberry Cobbler
Bogeyman Brownies
Chocolate-Glazed Chocolate Tart
Chocolate Tart w/ Pretzel Crust
Chocolate Pie
Crêpes à la Banane et au Nutella
ECM's Apple Dessert
Lemon Bars
Pumpkin Cream Cheese Swirl Brownies
Strawberry Galette

Misc.

Batter for Anything Deep Fried
Caramelized Mango with Rum
Crepe Batter
Croutons
Dulce de Leche
Kansas City BBQ Sauce

Onion Ring Batter
Homemade Vanilla Extract
Snozzberries
Spicy Cranberry Sauce

soup

it's cold and dreary in january, so here is a few soup recipes to keep you warm.

soupe de poireaux et pommes de terre or Potato Leek Soup

roasted potato and fennel soup

chicken tortilla soup

portuguese sweet potato and sausage soup

rosemary white bean soup

ecm's 101

I started doing these types of posts for a dear friend of mine. She pointed out that some people haven't been cooking as long as I have or that maybe cooking didn't come as instinctual/easy to her as it did to other people. So here is my answer to that problem...


snacks and dips:

mains:

gnocchi

baked goods:

pecan pie

cranberry streusel shortbread bars

ad hoc @ home's brownies with caramel sauce

breads:

dill pull apart rolls

ice cream:

miscellaneous:

french fries

tiramisu

blog roll

in no particular order... and don't you go getting offended if you aren't listed, since i deleted my whole blog roll... this is going to take some time to list them all again!

food blogs...

alosha's kitchen
orangette
cook eat fret
noble pig
culinary adventures of peabody
smitten kitchen
white on rice
cakespy
a southern grace
culinary adventures of a new wife
homesick texan
chew on that
cutting edge of ordinary
stacey snacks
dinner party
sippity sup
alinea at home
bren's flanboyant eats
mr. orph's kitchen
chefectomy
pictures and pancakes
becoming a foodie
eater sf
ruhlman

food + funny...

saint tiger lily
yummy mummy cooks gourmet
thursday night smackdown

you should be reading...

mayberry magpie because she writes like this...

"And sometimes when I’m feeling particularly anxious, I whisper Kate’s words at bedtime as a reminder to make time my friend, not my adversary, and to let the stillness of slumber knit my raveled peace."

blogs that make me laugh out loud, by myself at the computer, then my kids come running to see what's so damn funny or to see if mom has finally lost her marbles.

undomestic diva
jive turkey
jenny on the spot

blogs that defy description:

going country
asthma girl
mental pause mama
snooty primadonna
the lexophile
adventures in juggling
the blog from another world

blogs that give me photo envy... as a girl, i get envious of their cameras and the size of their lens...

lisa kristine

the image is found
the blog is found
photojojo
3191
my polaroid blog
waveriders (click onto their photography section)

blogs i don't comment on because i feel like i would be yelling and their blogs are quite and peaceful... in other words, blogs that chill me out...

shining egg
simply photo
soulemama
3191
inchmark


other stuff i'm interested in because a girl can't live on food alone.

the cool hunter
dwell
curbed sf
art crimes
obey giant
radio lab

archives

5x5 project (1)
about me (24)
accidents (2)
anthony bourdain (17)
ask ECM and the sous chefs (1)
baby (1)
baseball (3)
beignets (1)
books (8)
breakfast (6)
breakfast for dinner (6)
candy (2)
christmas (7)
cinnamilk (1)
code of ethics (1)
comfort food (3)
contest (15)
cookies (9)
cooking block (5)
cooties (1)
cost plus (1)
crazy ideas (3)
culinary sins (6)
divorce (1)
dot's dogs (1)
earthquakes (1)
eating block (1)
ecm rules to live by (1)
eggs benedict ole (1)
eric ripert (3)
evil mom chef (2)
failures (3)
farmers market (2)
favorite blogs (36)
floyd the finch (1)
food for college (1)
food habits (1)
foodbuzz (1)
french laundry (7)
fry daddy (3)
fun with food (2)
gifts (2)
goops (8)
guess the mise (2)
guest bloggers (1)
halloween (3)
help (1)
hints (1)
holiday negotiations (2)
ice cream (10)
injuries (2)
julia child (2)
kids (29)
knife abuse (2)
knives (1)
last meals (1)
leftovers (7)
lemonpallooza (3)
madof (2)
meal outlaw (1)
meme (5)
michael ruhlman (2)
mmm... bacon and chocolate (2)
music and cooking (8)
overheard (5)
pictures (50)
pie day (21)
pimp your kitchen aid (1)
pizza (1)
politics (11)
potato ho (9)
potatoes (2)
puppet master (12)
question of the week (12)
random (2)
random eats (33)
random joy (5)
random stuff that's sort of about cooking (13)
rants (24)
recipes (98)
rich (15)
road trip (7)
secret ingredients (2)
singalong (7)
slow food (1)
snacks (1)
so not about food (31)
soda (1)
stacey (1)
starbucks (6)
stories (2)
strange stuff (2)
surfing (4)
thanksgiving (6)
the elements of cooking (3)
the thong (6)
time wasters (32)
top chef (1)
tv (3)
undomestic diva (4)
virtual potluck (11)
what kind of food blogger am I anyways (12)
where in the world (3)
worst tasting thing ever (1)
wtf (7)
you're the chef night (5)

blog roll

Favorite Food Blogs...

[eatingclub] vancouver
a corner of my kitchen
a southern grace
a yankee in a southern kitchen
aggie's kitchen
alosha's kitchen
angies pangies
avec eric
baking and books
becoming a foodie
big sis lil sis
bit of nutmeg
bitchin camero
cakespy
canary girl
chaos in the kitchen
chew on that
chez pim
chez what?
clumbsy cookie
coffee and queso
cook eat FRET
cooking, dunkin' style
culinary adventures of a new wife
culinary concoctions by peabody
curious foodie
david lebovitz
dine and dish
dinner party
dinners for a year
dolce & nutella
eat real
eat write create
eggbeater
equal opportunity kitchen
fig and cherry
finger in every pie
food in mouth
food on the food
food stories
foodie cutie
foodie with family
french laundry at home
fritter
from whence the sweet bird sang
gourmet girl
happy cows
heaven is chocolate, cheese and carbs
i shot the chef
jill's crazy life
karma free cooking
ken albala's food rant
kiki, out of the kitchen & on the kumputer
kitchen table chat
michael rulman
mr orph's kitchen
my own sweet thyme
noble pig
not quite nigella
offal good
olive juice
olive, the other relish
orangette
pages pucks and pantry
passionate about baking
post collegiate cooking a deux
pots and pins
raspberry eggplant
reluctant entertainer
serious eats
she eats
simply breakfast
simply gluten free
smitten kitchen
stacey snacks
sunset zaguan
symon says
take the cannoli
tartelette
taste and tell
tempered woman
the art of the pig
the cutting edge of ordinary
the grocery fiend
the kitchen and beyond
the lexophile
the recipe girl
the summertree cafe
the yummy mummy
three potato
to every meal
under the tamarind trees
vanilla garlic
vicarious foodie
what we're eating
white on rice
who dares cooks
wicked good dinner
you say tomahto i say tomato

Blogs I love...

above the clouds it's sunny
adventures in juggling
asthma girl
back to brye
becoming a non-smoker
dlyn
going country
good american wife
ib a way of life
indiscriminate living
jenny on the spot
jive turkey
jules is just sayin'
just wandering through
magpie musing
mama goose
mayberry magpie
miscellany
not afraid to use it
noticing project
queen of planet hot flash
saint tiger lily
scent of water
she who what
shining egg
snooty primadona
the mental pause chronicles
the zen in you
undomestic diva
verivaine
where's my damn answer
your name here

feed me seymour

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contact me

you can contact me all sorts of ways:

krysta @ evilchefmom [dot] com

or

evilchefmom @ aol [dot] com

and to my kids horror...

twitter & facebook

A side note: Over two years ago when I started my blog, there was an unexpected benefit I never knew about... friends!!! Through my blog, I've met lots and lots of people I actually consider my friends. People I converse with... over the phone, Twitter, Facebook, and [gasp!] snail mail.

What I'm trying to say is, surprisingly enough, I like making friends and some other bloggers have been known to call me (Not-So) Evil Chef Mom. I respond to my emails, once and awhile Twitter (for someone who's talkative, it's hard to do things in 140 characters or less) and I will sheepishly admit I really, really, I mean really, like Facebook. I'd let it get to second base with me but it's illegal in 32 states and Rich, my husband, would be jealous. And plus with all the other Facebook users out there I'm sure I would pick up some virus. So in other words if you want an answer to something about my blog or recipe the quickest way to me is through here. Just leave a comment on the discussion board, I'll get back to you.

updated: or you can become a fan on facebook (i hate this term, so imagine a big eye roll when i say this). there's no pressure or commitment to become a friend.

fun stuff

Banners: All my banners are hand drawn by Julia of JGFdesigns because I like the way hand drawn looks... it gives my blog character *snort, with an eyeroll* but Julia can do custom made banners and layouts for your blog. You can also see her work at her etsy shop. (coming soon) or you can contact her directly at jgfdesigns [@] yahoo [dot] com.

Join The Ho Down
5x5 project

www.flickr.com Go to evil chef mom's photostream

about

Why Evil Chef Mom?

Good question. By most accounts, I'm a pretty nice gal... although a little accident prone but because I'm a mom to four kids, Evil Chef Mom means I sometimes have to run my house like a Marine brigade, which translates to... 'at any one time, someone is not happy' and that obviously, in my kids eyes, makes me mean and evil.

Where are you located?

Born, raised, and still living in Stockton, California.

A little bit about Stockton. It's the Rodney Dangerfield of California, it gets no respect. I love my town but it does have problems. So it's like family...I can bash it all I want but no else can.

Photography:

All photos are taken by me unless otherwise noted. Photos are taken with an Olympus 510 E-volt.

Comments:

Here's the deal. Anybody is welcome to leave a comment. You don't agree with something I say or if you just adore me (dripping sarcasm right about now). I'm cool with that... leave a comment. E-mail me if you see a problem, if you think a recipe is crappy [gasp] or whatever is on your mind. I will even respond unless you are being a total douche then all bets are off. I figure we are all adults here, I'm not here to babysit you or your comments. Use common sense and the world is a happy place.

Links Exchanges:

I'll admit this. I hate...no, loathe updating my links, it's like being a kid and being assigned homework over Christmas break. It is cruel and unusual punishment. It, in all likelihood, it will not get done by me. Yes, I was a bad student, smart but with no (what's that word?) oh yeah... ambition, drive, motivation, discipline.

ANNND... (true story)I was hit by The Dreadful Korean Porn Spammer who then hit a lot of other blogs that I had linked to and then The Dreadful Korean Porn Spammer left comments on those blogs that somehow bounced back to me by the magic of unicorns that poop cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles... also known as the Internet. So it gave me another reason not to do links because you don't want Korean Porn Spam Unicorns that poop cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles on your blog, now do you? Trust me, it leaves a huge mess.

So I guess in other words, you can ask but it probably won't happen.

Using Pictures or Recipes on Evil Chef Mom:

I'm of two minds on this subject. I'm totally cool with most of it... as long as you link back and give some credit. Don't play it off like it's your own. On the other hand, I hate sites that are all "ask and receive permission first. If you don't, I will kill you with my one thumb" approach. Cooking is not about that, it's about sharing and I hate lessipe. It's just plain wrong. Think about what your grade school teacher told you about plagiarism. Use common sense, give credit where credit is due, everyone is happy and no bad karma or murder by thumb ensues.

Meet The Sous Chefs:

Rich: Husband... sometimes called The Man. Hates to cook, loves to eat, will not bbq, has some strange food rules that after many years of marriage I still don't understand.

Katie, 17: wicked smart, baker, cook, now if only I could get her to be a chef. Also guard your food at all times when Katie is around, she is a master thief when it comes to stealing the food off your plate.

Drew, 14: He's a teenage boy who plays water polo. All he does is shovel food in his mouth and then asks, "Is there more?" or "When is the next meal?" Main dishwasher, doesn't cook.

Will, 13: Main grill guy, second dishwasher, garbage boy. Did I mention he is LOUD? Because he is. And yes, I do let him BBQ.

Nancy,11: The baby. Gives the stank eye or what is known around here as "the look" quite a lot but she bakes cakes from scratch, then frosts and decorates them. And she keeps me in freshly baked cookies so I tolerate "the look" which as I now read this does not make me a good parent. I'll do anything for cookies and my kids know this about me. I don't think I'll be winning the Parent of The Year Award anytime soon.