toasted almond scones

I want to make the argument that scones are the instant gratification of the baking world. I know, I know you have had some bad ones, cold ones, stale ones... so have I. But.

But, but, but... let me be the scones champion for a moment and tell you why they are full of awesomeness for the person who is craving a baked good but is feeling a little lazy.

Craving sweet or savory? You can have either. As long as you have a basic ratio for scones you can play around. Also if you want them plain to showcase some fancy butter and awesome jam that you bought, well there's that too.

Speaking of playing around, the ingredients are fairly cheap and not so time intensive that if you screw up and make a truly bad batch of scones you won't feel as guilty throwing a batch of scones in the trash than.... let's just say this for example.

There is no prep or much of what I call pre-thought involved. Everything comes out of the refrigerator cold and goes straight into a bowl or food processor. No thinking about setting out the eggs or butter to warm to room temperature or trying to soften the butter in the microwave and getting melted butter because you turned your back for 1 tenth of stinking second. Oh we have all been there.

The less fuss and mixing... the better. No multiple rises, not too many dishes or mixing bowls and speaking of which...

Most recipes for scones can be baked on 1 baking sheet. No multiple batches, like cookies. Don't get me started with cookies and I adore cookies but sometimes a girl just wants a one and done recipe.

Also, there is just enough but never too much so they go stale. How very Goldilocks of them.

And last but not least, the best argument for scones instant gratification blue ribbon status. They are best right after baking. No chilling, no waiting 24 hours or even an hour... 10 minutes max. That, by the way, is the worst thing about brownies and cakes. You know you don't want to wait for an hour to cut into whatever you just you've just baked. So you cut into them and burn the roof of your mouth and worst of all it will never cut neatly now. Sigh.



 toasted almond scones: baking from my home to yours by dorie greenspan
(printable recipe)

makes 12 but I made eight because I cut mine a tad larger

1 cup blanched almonds (whole, silvered or sliced), toasted
2 tablespoons sugar
1 large egg
1/3 cup cold heavy cream
1/4 cup cold whole milk
1/8 teaspoon pure almond extract
1 3/4 cups all purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 stick (8 tablespoons) cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
1/4 cup sliced almonds (optional)*

Preheat the oven to 400 deg. Line a baking sheet with parchment or a silicone mat.

Divide the toasted almonds in half. Finely grind 1/2 cup in a food processor or blender with the sugar. Make sure not to overgrind the nuts or you will end up with almond butter.

Finely chop the other 1/2 cup.

In a bowl, stir the egg, cream, milk, and almond extract together.

In a separate large bowl, whisk the flour, ground almonds and sugar, baking powder and salt together.

Drop in the butter and using your fingers, toss to coat the pieces of butter with flour. Quickly, working with your fingertips or a pastry blender, cut and rub the butter into the dry ingredients until the mixture is has pea sized pieces through out. Don't worry if some pieces or smaller or larger.It's cool.

Pour the liquid ingredients over the dry ingredients and stir with a fork just until the dough, which will be wet and sticky, comes together. Don’t overdo it! Remember lazy is good. Stir in the chopped almonds. Still in the bowl, gently knead the dough by hand, less than a dozen times! I swear this is the key to good scones. It's okay if there are bits of butterless flour on the bottom.

Turn the dough out into a lightly floured work surface divide it into half. Working with one piece at a time, pat the dough into a rough circle that’s about 5 inches in diameter, cut into 6 wedges and top each scone with a few sliced almonds. * I forgot to add the almonds on top... now that's lazy! Place them on the baking sheet. Bake the scones for 20-22 minutes or until their tops are golden and firmish. Transfer to a rack and cool for 10 minutes before serving, or wait for the scones to cool to room temperatures.

spicy chicken with rhubarb cucumber salsa

Sh$t They Don't Tell You When You Become A Parent: A Sarcastic Mom's Guide To Wading Through Parenthood

Number 19 : The Projects

Hey thinking of becoming a Parent? Already a Parent of a young child? Do you know about The Projects? Come in close, let me tell you about them because you need to know. It's starts in Kindergarten with the All About Me poster. Now this poster is important because it sets up your precious baybee's whole school career. The AAM poster has lots of blank squares to fill in. Also you will  need to add all sorts of charming pictures from the time they were born till now. Don't have them because you were busy cleaning up poop and spit up and the peas they dumped on the ground? Clip some pictures out of a magazine. You don't have cute handwriting to fill in Precious charming answers to the equivalent Vanity Fair's Proust's questionnaire on the poster. Well sorry you're screwed.  You are obviously a bad parent for not being crafty or having good hand writing.

Then you have the solar system project, science fair, and if you live in California, The Missions Project. The Missions Project sucks, especially if you are a parent at my kids old school. You couldn't use a kit. It had to be  built by hand. Parents could help but should let the kid take the lead and do most of the work. So here you are, you have seen the other Missions the kids have brought in and you know the Parents did all the work. Their Missions are finely crafted piece worthy of placement in a miniatures museum, with groomed tiny landscaping, perfectly level and painted roof tiles and a working fountain. There is no way in hell a 5th grader did that. Here is your kid's Mission with catty wonkus walls and glue running down the joints, all because you followed the guidelines the teacher gave you. And Precious Johnny looks at you with disgust because Anne Marie's father spend $300 bucks on materials and took 6 months sketching out plans and took a special weekend trip to meet privately with the head docent at Mission San Juan Capistrano to build her Mission and you just pulled pictures of the Internet. Way to go Mom!

Then there are the weird projects. Like when my Awesome Andrew comes home on a Wednesday night and tells me he's doing a potluck project in Bio where he needs to bring in vegetable or fruit dish that is in season and by the way he picked rhubarb and it's due Friday. Do you have any recipes with rhubarb? Explaining to him that of course I do but rhubarb is just coming into season and it might be hard to find right now. Do you have a back up vegetable or fruit just in case? The look I received was like Precious Johnny and Anne Marie all over again. Ten stores and a half a day later I found rhubarb and Andrew and I made this upside down cake. With the surplus rhubarb I made spicy chicken thighs with rhubarb cucumber salsa for dinner. Which was awesome and totally made up for the fact I had to run around town to look for rhubarb.

So some deets on this chicken. The marinade tasted like a cross between jerk, curry, and peanut sauce and the rhubarb cucumber salsa really offset the heat with a sweet/sour/refreshing crunch. A keeper.



 spicy chicken thighs with rhubarb cucumber salsa: bon appetit april 2012
(printable recipe)

1 habanero, Scotch bonnet, or Thai chile, with seeds, stemmed
2 garlic cloves 2 scallions, thinly sliced, white and green parts divided
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1/4 cup olive oil
6 large skin-on, bone-in chicken thighs
kosher salt
1 1/2 cups 1/4-inch cubes rhubarb
1 cup 1/4-inch cubes unpeeled cucumber
1/2 cup coarsely chopped fresh cilantro
1 tablespoon honey
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 teaspoon fresh lime juice
freshly ground black pepper

Preheat oven to 500°. Line a baking sheet with foil. Pulse chile, garlic, and white parts of scallions in a food processor until finely chopped. With the food processor running, slowly drizzle in soy sauce and olive oil; blend until emulsion forms. Transfer sauce to a bowl.

Place chicken thighs, skin side up, on a the prepared baking sheet and slash each crosswise at 3/4-inch intervals down to the bone. Season lightly with salt. Brush with sauce. Bake until skin is crisp and an instant-read thermometer inserted into thickest part of thigh registers 165°, 20–25 minutes. Broil on high for an additional 2–3 minutes for crisper skin, if desired. Let rest for 5–10 minutes.

Meanwhile, toss rhubarb, cucumber, cilantro, honey, olive oil, lime juice, and green parts of scallions in a medium bowl to coat. Season to taste with salt and pepper and let stand for at least 10 minutes to allow flavors to meld. Serve chicken with rhubarb salsa alongside.

cinnamon-bun bites

Katie and I have this ongoing thing about cinnamon rolls. It's very Gilmore Girl/Abbott and Costello-ish. And the typical conversation happens when we visit our local Barnes and Noble which is somehow conveniently but not helpfully located by Cinnabon. Damn those mall planners!

'God, that smells good.'

'But they never taste as good as they smell.'

'Why is that?'

'I don't know why. And you also feel sick, sticky, and dirty after you eat one. Why is that? Oh because it should be named Cinnabomb. It's like a sugar bomb went off in your stomach. Kablooey.'

'I don't know why you feel sick, sticky, and dirty but I see what you did there with the Cinna-BOMB reference. Why can't we find a cinnamon roll that tastes as good as it smells?'

'I don't know. But I now really, really, really want a cinnamon roll. It smells so gooooooood.'

'Here have a piece of cinnamon gum.'

'But I reaaaaaaaly want a cinnamon roll'

'It'll be ok. Let's go look at books.'

We have had this same conversation too many times to count.



Anyways, I guess the point is that for both of us, the outside of the roll is too crunchy, there is not enough of the center part... but the center can't be under-cooked and gooey either, the dough isn't flecked with enough cinnamon, and there is normally too much frosting. Hello call us Goldilocks. It's never just right.



These cinnamon-bun bites are right up there in the almost damn near perfect category. The whole entire plate consists of the soft center part, the dough and glaze are flecked throughout with cinnamon and nutmeg. Best of all, I can control how much glaze to drizzle on the top. Also, they don't go kablooey in your stomach.



cinnamon-bun bites: martha stewart living, april 2012
(printable recipe)

1/2 cup warm water
1 tablespoon active dry yeast (from two 1/4-ounce envelopes)
4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more if needed
4 large eggs
1 1/4 cups sugar
2 teaspoons coarse salt
1 stick unsalted butter, softened, plus 1/2 stick, melted, and more for dish
2 1/2 tablespoons ground cinnamon
ground nutmeg

vanilla glaze:

1 cup confectioners' sugar, sifted
1/2 teaspoon coarse salt
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
2 tablespoons whole milk
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
cinnamon
ground nutmeg

make cinnamon-bun bites:

Pour water into the bowl of a stand mixer. Sprinkle yeast evenly over water, and let stand until foamy, 5 to 7 minutes. Whisk until smooth then whisk in 1/2 cup flour to form a paste. Let rise in a warm place until yeast mixture has risen and fallen, about 30 minutes.

TIP: If your house is chilly like mine, turn on your oven for a couple of minuets on the lowest temperature, then turn off oven and place the bowl in the oven as sort of a proofing boxing for the dough.

Add eggs, 1/4 cup sugar, salt, 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon, a pinch of nutmeg, and the remaining flour to yeast mixture. Knead dough, using dough hook attachment on mixer, until smooth, 4 to 5 minutes.

Add 1 stick butter to the dough mixture and knead with the stand mixer until dough is smooth and elastic, about 10 minutes (add a little more flour if the dough is too sticky). Turn out dough onto an unfloured work surface and knead by hand until very smooth, about 3 minutes. Transfer dough to another bowl, and let rise in a warm place, covered with a damp cloth or plastic wrap, until doubled, 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Punch down dough, pressing out air bubbles.

Lightly butter a 9-inch pie plate or 9-inch square glass baking dish. Place melted butter in a bowl. Stir together remaining 1 cup sugar and the cinnamon in another bowl.

Roll dough into 1-inch balls (you should have about 45). Working with 1 at a time, dip balls into melted butter, then roll in cinnamon sugar and place in pie plate. Stack balls to form a dome. Sprinkle with any remaining cinnamon sugar, and drizzle with any leftover butter. Cover with plastic wrap, and let balls rise by half, about 1 hour.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Unwrap balls and place the pie plate on a baking sheet. Bake until golden and firm, and a wooden skewer inserted into the center comes out clean, 50 to 55 minutes. Let bites cool in dish 15 minutes, then drizzle with glaze.

make vanilla glaze:

Stir together sugar and salt in a small bowl.

Whisk together butter, milk, vanilla, and a pinch of cinnamon and nutmeg. Stir into sugar until mixture forms a smooth paste. Keep glaze at room temperature until ready to drizzle over cinnamon-bun bites. Before using, whisk until smooth.